Worried about DD :(

[joolz1910]

As some of you know, my eldest daughter (12) suffers from acute anxiety disorder and has done for a few years. Yesterday she was bridesmaid for my SIL and could not bring herself to walk down the aisle She couldn't come into the dining room for the wedding breakfast and had to sit in the bar area to eat her meal. I had discussed with SIL that there was a high probablity that she would not walk down the aisle and SIL was fine with that. I had thought that DD would eat the meal with us and then slip out before the speeches. She couldn't even cope with that scenario

This has got me thinking about our DDP in October and it is part of the reason I have asked about cancellation charges. It is unlikely that we will be able to predict whether she will go into any restaurant until we actually get there. I don't know what I am going to do if we get there for our ADR and DD refuses to come in.

Sorry for the long post. DD's problem has been on my mind so much lately.

 

[cmwade77]

Ok, in this case, have it noted on the reservation. If she won't go in and you all choose to skip it, you should then be able to call the restaurant and explain the situation and not get charged. They are usually very good about handling medical needs like this (even CRT was willing to do this when we weren't sure if we were going to be able to make it when my brother got sick on our trip).

That being said, as long as the rest of you go, you should not be charged regardless of is she goes or not.

 

[dananbethany]

I started with anxiety when I was about that age and I remember those days...I remember having to leave a ride due to claustrophobia (was it the one with the sub? I can't remember) and the CMs had no problem with that. I'm sure they've dealt with it all!

Has she seen a doctor? Is she on any type of anxiety meds? I take BuSpar which helps control mine.

 

[joolz1910]

Ok, in this case, have it noted on the reservation. If she won't go in and you all choose to skip it, you should then be able to call the restaurant and explain the situation and not get charged. They are usually very good about handling medical needs like this (even CRT was willing to do this when we weren't sure if we were going to be able to make it when my brother got sick on our trip).

That being said, as long as the rest of you go, you should not be charged regardless of is she goes or not.

Great idea - I will get it noted on the reservation. Can't believe I didn't think of this.

I started with anxiety when I was about that age and I remember those days...I remember having to leave a ride due to claustrophobia (was it the one with the sub? I can't remember) and the CMs had no problem with that. I'm sure they've dealt with it all!

Has she seen a doctor? Is she on any type of anxiety meds? I take BuSpar which helps control mine.

She has had regular counselling/CBT for more than 3 years and is being statemented at school. She was on beta-blockers but I thought they did very little for her and I decided to take her off them. The GP/psychiatrist would not prescribe anything else because of her age. She has to wait until she is 16 for anything else!

 

[Sapper383]

My heart goes out to you and your DD

Your DD's happyness is more important than worying about missing ADR's.....Disney are extreamly understanding and to be honest I don't think you'll have a problem. Like someone else said have it noted on your ADR's.

 

[joolz1910]

My heart goes out to you and your DD

Your DD's happyness is more important than worying about missing ADR's.....Disney are extreamly understanding and to be honest I don't think you'll have a problem. Like someone else said have it noted on your ADR's.

Thank you.
It's a difficult balance as we have 2 other DD's. I want everyone to be happy although that's not always possible.
We are taking my BIL with us to Manchester airport just in case DD can't get on the plane. Her anxiety means she misses out on so much. I try hard to plan for her but her anxiety is irrational and unpredictable. We have been seated in a restaurant before and have ordered food and then she has had a panic attack. CAMHS has agreed to write a covering letter for us, so that we can take it to Disney for special assistance.

 

[Sapper383]

It must be extreamly difficult, I hope she will be able to get on the plane and have a lovely holiday Glad you are getting a letter to take, that should make things so much easier.

 

[dolphingirl47]

Thank you.
It's a difficult balance as we have 2 other DD's. I want everyone to be happy although that's not always possible.
We are taking my BIL with us to Manchester airport just in case DD can't get on the plane. Her anxiety means she misses out on so much. I try hard to plan for her but her anxiety is irrational and unpredictable. We have been seated in a restaurant before and have ordered food and then she has had a panic attack. CAMHS has agreed to write a covering letter for us, so that we can take it to Disney for special assistance.

I am so sorry what your daughter and by extension the rest of your family has to go through. By the way, is your airline aware of this? I know that we require medical clearance for people with anxiety disorders especially if it is as unpredictable as you mention. There is a certain risk attached, especially with a flight, where there really is nowhere to bring down a plane in a hurry due to medical reasons (and an acute panic attack would be covered under this umbrella).

Corinna

 

[joolz1910]

I am so sorry what your daughter and by extension the rest of your family has to go through. By the way, is your airline aware of this? I know that we require medical clearance for people with anxiety disorders especially if it is as unpredictable as you mention. There is a certain risk attached, especially with a flight, where there really is nowhere to bring down a plane in a hurry due to medical reasons (and an acute panic attack would be covered under this umbrella).

Corinna

Hi, yes, I have already spoken to Virgin's special assistance and I have checked that my insurance covers her anxiety. As she is not on any medication, they tell me she is covered. Her panic attacks are not violent towards anyone, she just becomes very distressed and self-harms by scratching with her nails. Not pleasant, but she has not got into this state for a long time.

I have worried about how she will cope since we booked the trip last year. We made the (very difficult) decision to go to WDW without her if she cannot get on the plane. I know that some people will find that hard to understand but my DD is fully aware of this and it is also supported by the CAHMS team. I am doing everything I can to plan around her anxieties.

I have asked Virgin if we can pre-board and have seats near to toilets. I can't think that they could do any more than this.

 

[dolphingirl47]

Looks like you have all bases covered. It is not so much about what the airline can do for you, although that is of course part of it, but more about minimizing risks. I know that we have had a few occasions where we had to bring a plane down at the nearest airport or even had to turn around and fly back to the origin because somebody had a severed panic attack. That is of course something that airlines rather avoid.

I absolutely understand your decision that you would leave her behind if she cannot get on the plane. This must be a heart-breaking decision to make, but it is a credit to you that you have covered every eventuality.

Corinna

 

[joolz1910]

Looks like you have all bases covered. It is not so much about what the airline can do for you, although that is of course part of it, but more about minimizing risks. I know that we have had a few occasions where we had to bring a plane down at the nearest airport or even had to turn around and fly back to the origin because somebody had a severed panic attack. That is of course something that airlines rather avoid.

I absolutely understand your decision that you would leave her behind if she cannot get on the plane. This must be a heart-breaking decision to make, but it is a credit to you that you have covered every eventuality.

Corinna

Thank you.
We really agonised about the 'what if she won't board' scenario. We decided it would be worse to travel back down the motorway with the whole family disappointed and her two sisters devastated. It would cause DD untold guilt and she has adapted with her anxiety, accepting that we will sometimes do things without her. This puts less pressure on her as she doesn't feel that she is letting all of us down - which she did feel in the early days. I can't say that I would be OK with flying without her. I am really hoping that it won't come to that.

I have also had Phenergen (sp?) in the past for very stressful situations, so I am going to be using this before we fly, so that she is 'sedated' to a certain extent. Having said that, on her first day at secondary school, we did EVERYTHING we could to help her and she still panicked and refused to go.

I would do anything to help her to get rid of this damned anxiety. It is wrecking her childhood.

 

[Ware Bears]

Can't offer any advice but just wanted to send a

I absolutely understand your decision that you would leave her behind if she cannot get on the plane.

So do I because you have your other DDs to think of, it must have been an extremely difficult decision to make and that everything goes smoothly and you all have a lovely well-deserved holiday.

 

[joolz1910]

Can't offer any advice but just wanted to send a So do I because you have your other DDs to think of, it must have been an extremely difficult decision to make and that everything goes smoothly and you all have a lovely well-deserved holiday.

Thank you Elaine.

 

[Sapper383]

I totaly understand why you would go without her, you have your other children to also think about and like you said she would then feel guilty.

Can't offer much help but sending you hugs

 

[joolz1910]

I totaly understand why you would go without her, you have your other children to also think about and like you said she would then feel guilty.

Can't offer much help but sending you hugs

Thank you.

 

[Vixster]

Hope it all works out for you but have you thought about her flying back what if she won't board the plane?
Also with the dining maybe do a few more quick service meals then you no she might sit with you

 

[hoihoi]

Has she been to Disney before?

I've had an acute panic disorder as long as I can remember. I've also been going to Disney every few years since I was 8 and somehow made it all work. I've DEFINITELY worried myself sick over the plane ride. CBT is definitely a wonderful thing and I'm glad to hear she's doing that. I just suffered silently through out and it was a living hell so I'm glad she's able to communicate her issues because you do feel shame and guilt because logically you know its silly but your instincts don't follow logic.

I'm now in my 30's so I am medicated on Zoloft for the anxiety. I've been to Disney on and off meds and have definitely bailed out of reservations. I've even bailed in the middle of a meal. They are extremely understanding and frankly are so busy half the time they don't think twice about it. I've bailed out of ride lines too.

If I had advice to give it would be that she is 100% in control even though she feels like she's not. No one will make her dine or make her ride a ride. For me sometimes just being in the park while my family has a good time is just fine with me. Other times I've gone and gotten into everything.

For the flight, TV shows on the IPOD have been a huge help for me. The drowsy dramamine also helps take the edge off.

Good luck with your trip and finding a plan for meds and CBT in a combination that works!

 

[mandymouse]

Thank you.
It's a difficult balance as we have 2 other DD's. I want everyone to be happy although that's not always possible.
We are taking my BIL with us to Manchester airport just in case DD can't get on the plane. Her anxiety means she misses out on so much. I try hard to plan for her but her anxiety is irrational and unpredictable. We have been seated in a restaurant before and have ordered food and then she has had a panic attack. CAMHS has agreed to write a covering letter for us, so that we can take it to Disney for special assistance.

My heart goes out to you and your DD Juliette. I wish I had some good advice for you, I just hope you all manage to have a wonderful holiday

 

[joolz1910]

Hope it all works out for you but have you thought about her flying back what if she won't board the plane?
Also with the dining maybe do a few more quick service meals then you no she might sit with you

Yes, getting her home is another worry.

Has she been to Disney before?

I've had an acute panic disorder as long as I can remember. I've also been going to Disney every few years since I was 8 and somehow made it all work. I've DEFINITELY worried myself sick over the plane ride. CBT is definitely a wonderful thing and I'm glad to hear she's doing that. I just suffered silently through out and it was a living hell so I'm glad she's able to communicate her issues because you do feel shame and guilt because logically you know its silly but your instincts don't follow logic.

I'm now in my 30's so I am medicated on Zoloft for the anxiety. I've been to Disney on and off meds and have definitely bailed out of reservations. I've even bailed in the middle of a meal. They are extremely understanding and frankly are so busy half the time they don't think twice about it. I've bailed out of ride lines too.

If I had advice to give it would be that she is 100% in control even though she feels like she's not. No one will make her dine or make her ride a ride. For me sometimes just being in the park while my family has a good time is just fine with me. Other times I've gone and gotten into everything.

For the flight, TV shows on the IPOD have been a huge help for me. The drowsy dramamine also helps take the edge off.

Good luck with your trip and finding a plan for meds and CBT in a combination that works!

Thank you. It's comforting to hear from an adult who has been through it too. She has been to Disney before but her anxiety was at a much lower level. We bought UK Merlin passes this year (they get you into the UK theme parks for free) so that we could try some 'therapy' of our own. She coped well, we got her special assistance too. She bailed on a lot of rides but like you, was happy to be there and accepted that queues were just too much for her.

She is so frustrated by the control her anxiety has over her and has said in the past that she wishes she was dead. I will be so glad when she can have medication. I have been through every channel possible to try to get them to prescribe but have been met by a brick wall of refusal.

Another Diser has also given me the advice of distraction methods like ipods, dark glasses, books, dvds. I will be armed with everything!

My heart goes out to you and your DD Juliette. I wish I had some good advice for you, I just hope you all manage to have a wonderful holiday

Thank you Mandy.

 

[loobzuk]

I have no useful advice but I wanted to let you know I'll be thinking of you and hope that your holiday happens with your eldest DD and you all have a great time. It's good that you have already got a contingency plan in place so that if the worst does happen you aren't left in a quandry wondering what to do. for you all