Working parents how do you get things done.

[mamacatnv]

First off - Wow, I'm impressed, you have your hands full and are doing a great job.

I am the queen of multi task. Here are my suggestions:

1. Get some sort of white noise machine so that you can function while your DS is going to sleep.
2. Get DS a small clip on book light for reading to you in the car - they are under $10 and are at most book stores.


I agree with posters that said nix the exercise on TKD nights.

When you walk in the door, set DS down to organize his homework and assess what he needs help with - he is 9, he should know.

Grab the laundry that you sorted the night before and take it to the machine.....

Start dinner and have DS reading to you or finishing up his homework.

Can your DS run to the laundry room and put the clothes in the dryer by himself? If so, while you are finishing up dinner send him off on this task. If not, put him in charge of setting the table while you run and put the laundry in the dryer.

Eat dinner and clean up together. Prep lunches, pack the backpack etc. Then go exercise or clean up.

Return home, shower, jammies whatever and then your "down" activity if you have time.
While DS is nodding off - fold the laundry and get ready for the next day.

We too get home a little after 6 and DD has a very strict 8:30 bedtime. No matter what, that child is in bed at 8:30 and reads until 9. She gets up at 6:35 and we are out the door at 7:20.

With the exception of the reading time the above is what we do and we do it in usually under 2 hours. I generally do 1 load of her uniforms during the week and she washes her hair every other day. Her hair has to be dried and flat ironed and on those nights, that is the down activity. We don't get in 1/2 hr of exercise every day but we do have a 15 minute pick up game every night after the dishes are done. I made up a list of household chores and every night after dinner we set the timer and "Go" to our task. This has worked immensely for clutter control and we all run around like idiots getting our tasks done.

Good luck and I agree - get a crock pot and use crock pot liners for easy clean up. On the weekends prep several crock pot meals in the liner bags place in fridge/freezer. In the morning, pull the already prepped meal in the liner bag out of the freezer, drop into the crock pot and you are good to go.

 

[DL4my2kids]

I'm a single mom, with 1 child, who works full time. My 9 year old is wonderful, bright, cooperative, funny -- all around delightful, but he's also slow -- not cognitively, but kind of dreamy and distractible. 3 days a week he goes to aftercare after school and I pick him up at around 6:20, on those days if we go straight home we're walking in the door around 6:40. I'd like him to be in bed, lights out, by 9:30 but it never seems to happen -- I just can't fit in all the pieces that need to happen, and every night we're not turning out the lights until 10:30 or even 11:00 -- then when I wake him up at 7:30 for school he's exhausted.

Here are the pieces I'd like to fit in on those 3 days:

Reading -- he's supposed to read 20 minutes a night, I'd really like it to be 30 or more.
Dinner -- time for me to cook, serve, eat together, and clean up a simple but healthy meal (e.g. tonight we had turkey burgers, salad and berries -- maybe 20 minutes prep time, 20 minutes eating, 20 minutes clean up).
Homework -- he does it at aftercare, but I like to review it with him, and help him with anything he didn't understand. Maybe 10 minutes.
Exercise -- he's supposed to do 20 minutes a day as his "PE homework" and even if he didn't, I think he needs this as we live in a very urban environment where he can't get outside to play -- we have an indoor pool in our building, as well as a gym with treadmills etc . . . It's also something we enjoy doing together.
Downtime -- I feel like he needs something, whether it's listening to a book on tape or a quick game of chess with me, it doesn't seem fair to go from waking up to going to sleep without anything unstructured.

Also, sometimes I need to run an errand (which means he needs to come) or do the laundry (I leave him in the apartment while I run down the hall, but it still means I'm not cooking, or helping with homework during that time and we get slowed down).

How do I make it all fit -- am I not being realistic? What do other peoples evenings look like?

I try never to have errands to run during the week night. After I pick up DS and DD (2 different locations at the moment), I head straight home for the rest of the night.

 

[eeyoremum]

I am a ft working mum too. My dh is disabled so allot falls to me. I have a ds who is 9 and a dreamer too. I also have a ds 14. We are busy 4 nights a week plus saturdays with various activities. This is what I do to keep up.

1. I am not a believer in homework for elementary school children. There is no evidence that homework for homework sake does anything to help with grades. I do not do what I call "busy work" at home. The school has him all day which is plenty of time to finish what needs done. That said I will have him finish work he didn't finish in class because he was daydreaming.

2. I cook on the weekends and heat meals up during the week.

3. I take Goju Karate with DS9. I don't usually have to wash my uniform between classes and don't find they smell but people are different. I know how thick the uniform is so don't think handwashing and hanging it to dry will work. I would see if someone at your dojo has a uniform that they can sell you cheaply. Kids grow fast.

I find that my "dreamer" needs time to dream. If I don't give him that down time he will be less focused.

Hopefully it works out for you. I know its tough. Sound like your are doing a great job.

 

[Mkrop]

Also any errands you can run while on your lunch hour, is there a pharmacy near work instead of waiting until after, is there somewhere you can run out too to get poster board if necessary, things like that.

 

[LisaR]

1. I am not a believer in homework for elementary school children. There is no evidence that homework for homework sake does anything to help with grades. I do not do what I call "busy work" at home. The school has him all day which is plenty of time to finish what needs done. That said I will have him finish work he didn't finish in class because he was daydreaming.

So if your son has homework assigned to him, do you just have him skip it? How do the teachers react to that? I am not saying I disagree with you I just wonder how that works out.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Thanks everyone, you've given me lots of good ideas.

I will definitely get more clothes, hanging to dry isn't an option because he has huge mold allergies and so I can't do anything that will add moisture to the air, but I can buy a second TKD uniform, maybe second hand, -- he's just a sweaty kid, and can't really wear anything he plays hard in again.

I'll have to look into crock pots and crock pot liners.

As far as the homework -- he's really good about it, yesterday (for example) when he came home he had 1 page of math, 1 page where he had to edit something, and 1 page of phonics/spelling. The math was done, the editing he had found all the errors he could but knew there were more (the teacher told them how many to find) so he wanted help, and the phonics was done except for 3 words that he didn't know what they meant. Finishing up took about 10 minutes (which we did in the car on the way to school today, something I'd rather not do). In the car on the way home he was able to say "this is what I need to do when I get home, can you help me?" I'm really glad that he's so responsible about it.

I think the person who said that dreamers need time to dream hit the nail on the head for my kid. If I cram every minute full (reading in the car, etc. . .) and we don't have that down time, as well as time for us to connect and talk and play, he's going to get it anyway -- I'll find him standing there, with his hair half combed, staring out the window, or he'll be calling out to me from bed, wanting to talk because we didn't get a chance to do so.

 

[lovesmurfs]

We've just started morning and evening routines for DD9. My daughter has lists for each, laminated back to back (clear Contact paper), and uses a dry erase marker to mark through each task. It really helps focus her in the morning and evening. Next, I need to do my routines in the same way!

In terms of laundry, could you put a load in the wash before leaving in the morning, then in dryer when dinner's cooking, then fold while DS is going to sleep?

It would help you a lot to be able to only do laundry once a week -- with the exception of the uniform. If you can afford it, I'd recommend more clothes for DS so that you can get through the week without doing mixed laundry.

There are a number of freezer meals you can take out the night before and put in the fridge to thaw. www.menusaver.com is one site -- the meals are generally good (my kids refuse to eat some of the dishes involving lamb...), and the preparation time (after freezing) is fairly minimal.

 

[eeyoremum]

So if your son has homework assigned to him, do you just have him skip it? How do the teachers react to that? I am not saying I disagree with you I just wonder how that works out.

I meet with teachers early in the year and explain that I won't do "busy work" at home with my kids. I tell them that if they have work not finished in class they can bring it home. If a teacher sends home an extra sheet of work for practice it won't be done. Most teachers are fine with this (at least to my face who know what they are saying in the teacher's room)

Lately the teacher has been sending home word searches as homework??? Sorry a word search in my mind is something to give students to keep them busy in class if work is done early so back they go.

 

[laurafergie]

I meet with teachers early in the year and explain that I won't do "busy work" at home with my kids. I tell them that if they have work not finished in class they can bring it home. If a teacher sends home an extra sheet of work for practice it won't be done. Most teachers are fine with this (at least to my face who know what they are saying in the teacher's room)

Lately the teacher has been sending home word searches as homework??? Sorry a word search in my mind is something to give students to keep them busy in class if work is done early so back they go.

Wow. - I guess whatever works for you.

 

[Mkrop]

I meet with teachers early in the year and explain that I won't do "busy work" at home with my kids. I tell them that if they have work not finished in class they can bring it home. If a teacher sends home an extra sheet of work for practice it won't be done. Most teachers are fine with this (at least to my face who know what they are saying in the teacher's room)

Lately the teacher has been sending home word searches as homework??? Sorry a word search in my mind is something to give students to keep them busy in class if work is done early so back they go.

Wow that would never fly in our school. Homework is homework and it is part of a grade and is also marked on their conduct grade as well.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

We've just started morning and evening routines for DD9. My daughter has lists for each, laminated back to back (clear Contact paper), and uses a dry erase marker to mark through each task. It really helps focus her in the morning and evening. Next, I need to do my routines in the same way!

In terms of laundry, could you put a load in the wash before leaving in the morning, then in dryer when dinner's cooking, then fold while DS is going to sleep?
.

That's a good idea -- he's really good at staying focused on the morning, when he routine's simple, but maybe something like that would help. I think what I struggle with is that it seems kind of unfair to ask my child to be "focused" all day long -- he's not focusing because it's 9 at night and he's been doing things that other people ask of him for 14 hours, so I can sort of understand why he wants to stare out the window -- I feel the same way myself.

Unfortunately in my situation it's kind of unfair to leave the clothes in the washer all day because the other residents of the building won't be able to use the machine, but it's a good idea.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I meet with teachers early in the year and explain that I won't do "busy work" at home with my kids. I tell them that if they have work not finished in class they can bring it home. If a teacher sends home an extra sheet of work for practice it won't be done. Most teachers are fine with this (at least to my face who know what they are saying in the teacher's room)

Lately the teacher has been sending home word searches as homework??? Sorry a word search in my mind is something to give students to keep them busy in class if work is done early so back they go.

I think this sounds great, I agree that so much homework is busy work. So far the homework this year has been decent, and like I said he does it at aftercare, but I don't hesitate to write on a sheet that we were too busy (we could be busy playing) to complete said worksheet if I think it's worthless.

 

[mamacatnv]

I meet with teachers early in the year and explain that I won't do "busy work" at home with my kids. I tell them that if they have work not finished in class they can bring it home. If a teacher sends home an extra sheet of work for practice it won't be done. Most teachers are fine with this (at least to my face who know what they are saying in the teacher's room)

Lately the teacher has been sending home word searches as homework??? Sorry a word search in my mind is something to give students to keep them busy in class if work is done early so back they go.

You are in Canada also and don't have the NCLB that leaves our kids test prepping all day and then getting their school work done at home. I know, that is overly stating it. I was mainly pointing out that OP is in Canada and maybe the emphasis on homework is different. Heck, it varies here from school to school, teacher to teacher.

My DD 4th grade has a math sheet of homework every day including Fridays and is supposed to read for 30 minutes per day. Other than that or a special project the only homework she has is what she does not finish in class.

OP: Sounds like you have gotten some really great ideas - I just wanted to add, if you son shows up to TKD a little stinky, not a huge deal If he doesn't get the amount of sleep he needs - huge deal.
As with everything - most of us can't do it all, we weigh our options and pick the ones that are the most important and work down from there.

Good luck

 

[mommasita]

You are in Canada also and don't have the NCLB that leaves our kids test prepping all day and then getting their school work done at home. I know, that is overly stating it. I was mainly pointing out that OP is in Canada and maybe the emphasis on homework is different. Heck, it varies here from school to school, teacher to teacher.

My DD 4th grade has a math sheet of homework every day including Fridays and is supposed to read for 30 minutes per day. Other than that or a special project the only homework she has is what she does not finish in class.

OP: Sounds like you have gotten some really great ideas - I just wanted to add, if you son shows up to TKD a little stinky, not a huge deal If he doesn't get the amount of sleep he needs - huge deal.
As with everything - most of us can't do it all, we weigh our options and pick the ones that are the most important and work down from there.

Good luck

We do have the KCLB here in Canada..

 

[MoniqueU]

I have always noticed how working parents have a cleaner house then I do. They are gone all day and their kids often get home to late to do anything but eat dinner, do homework, have a shower and veg. Here sometimes I have 8 kids in my house afterschool and I can't seem to get rid of them long enough to clean up after them. We also have sports which cuts into the cleaning time. I could do it while they are at school but I have bad insomnia and neer know when I am going to be sleeping.

That being said I don't know how some families hold down 2 jobs with kids. It just seems like alot of drudgery so I do sympathize.

 

[Kitzka]

To the OP. Please try ot to do everything. I work full time and have a 10 year old daughter. she dances 10 hours a week. that's 4 days a week, has a ton of homewok and somehow we get it al done. our schedule is:

homework-DD does homework in in aftercare. DH checks it when he picks her up
3 days a week she gets picked up and goes to dance 3 hours. she is suppose ot read 30 mins a night and write a page on the pages she read. DD needs down time. i ahve her read for 3 nights on the weekends. Saturday morning, sunday morning and sunday afternoon. she does the 4th day of reading on tuesday when she does not hvae dance.

as for dinner, we can't always have dinner togther but we make the best of the 4 days a week we have. Friday night is family night. DD goes to aftercare and we have dinner together, play games etc. no freinds over, no time that isn;t for the family.

we get better quailty time this way and there is no pressure to get the "family" time during the week. before when i was trying to get quality time in every night i woudl fel imensely guilty if i had to work late or if something came up.

errands i run sat morning. i make a list and we get them done early. sometimes dd reads in the car on the way to the grocery store. i also find that spending more for a few thigns makes my life easier.

i have milk delivered as well as groceries. it costs about $10 more but it gives me an hour a week to spend with my family. i pay our cleaning lady $25 more every 2 weeks and she does our laundry. not all of it but the towels, sheets, jeans etc. i leave it out and she puts it in for me and folds it. we put it away when we get home.

good luck. being a working parent sucks.

lara

 

[Planogirl]

I would try to prepare more foods that you can heat up later in just a few minutes and you can even use paper plates sometimes to make clean up easier. That together time and down time is more important than washing dishes or cooking IMO.

Does he need to exercise every night? You could alternate the pool with some light calisthenics on some nights. This might even be fun!

 

[aprilgail2]

I'm a single mom, with 1 child, who works full time. My 9 year old is wonderful, bright, cooperative, funny -- all around delightful, but he's also slow -- not cognitively, but kind of dreamy and distractible. 3 days a week he goes to aftercare after school and I pick him up at around 6:20, on those days if we go straight home we're walking in the door around 6:40. I'd like him to be in bed, lights out, by 9:30 but it never seems to happen -- I just can't fit in all the pieces that need to happen, and every night we're not turning out the lights until 10:30 or even 11:00 -- then when I wake him up at 7:30 for school he's exhausted.

Here are the pieces I'd like to fit in on those 3 days:

Reading -- he's supposed to read 20 minutes a night, I'd really like it to be 30 or more.
Dinner -- time for me to cook, serve, eat together, and clean up a simple but healthy meal (e.g. tonight we had turkey burgers, salad and berries -- maybe 20 minutes prep time, 20 minutes eating, 20 minutes clean up).
Homework -- he does it at aftercare, but I like to review it with him, and help him with anything he didn't understand. Maybe 10 minutes.
Exercise -- he's supposed to do 20 minutes a day as his "PE homework" and even if he didn't, I think he needs this as we live in a very urban environment where he can't get outside to play -- we have an indoor pool in our building, as well as a gym with treadmills etc . . . It's also something we enjoy doing together.
Downtime -- I feel like he needs something, whether it's listening to a book on tape or a quick game of chess with me, it doesn't seem fair to go from waking up to going to sleep without anything unstructured.

Also, sometimes I need to run an errand (which means he needs to come) or do the laundry (I leave him in the apartment while I run down the hall, but it still means I'm not cooking, or helping with homework during that time and we get slowed down).

How do I make it all fit -- am I not being realistic? What do other peoples evenings look like?

I am a single mom with a 9 year old- our schedule is crazy but we manage to get things done most of the time! I do get home earlier than you though so it makes it easier and I try to run all my errands on my lunch hour.
I work 8-4 but we get to leave at 3:50 so I am home by 4. I toss a load of laundry in as soon as I wake up and transfer it to the dryer before I leave, when I come home I just putthe dryer on for a few minutes to dewrinkle everything but I only have to do laundry a few times a week.
I come home at 4- she does her homework right as she comes home until its time to go to an activity and she will finish after whatever we have going for the night- right now our schedule looks like:
Monday- Hip Hop dance 5-6
Tuesday- girl scouts 330-530
Wedensday- Irish Step Dance- 5-6
Thursday- Basketball 7-8
Friday- once a month student coucil meeting after school the other 3 Fridays someone comes home on the bus with her to play.
So in between all that we have to eat, study-get the 20 minutes of reading 4 times a week done (and honestly if she can't get to it I don't care, she will read for an hour on Saturday and Sunday to make up for it). She goes tto bed around 10 so after her activities and homework we have to fit in dinner, a shower, studying, tv time and just some time to kick back. Sometimes she takes her homework in the car and does it on the way to each activity which helps out. I also use a crock pot a lot so dinner is done when we walk in the door- fast food is always an option for us when we are running late, just drive through LOL.

 

[aprilgail2]

I try never to have errands to run during the week night. After I pick up DS and DD (2 different locations at the moment), I head straight home for the rest of the night.

On Monday or Tuesdya we will get a note home from school saying "please have Johnny send in xxx for a project we are doing on Thursday or Friday"- we have no choice but to run an errand then to go get it, some things can't wait for the weekend. Yesterday we go the note about sending in various things on Friday for Halloween so off I went last night to get them right after girl scouts and the district wide halloween party!

 

[Pin Wizard]

Single parent for 15 years here. I hear you! All laundry and chores get done on the weekends around here. Just keeping the kitchen sink cleaned up is about it during the week. When DS was in the lower grades, he was usually up later than I wanted him to be. The homework and reading alone did it. I felt like I never had time with him. I'd pick him up from after care at school (where he got the majority of homework done and had some exercise,) make dinner, clean up, go over his homework, chase him for a shower or bath, read a bit, and then had to get him off to bed. Exhausting day in itself after working 8 hours.

I have to say that by the time he was your child's age, he was doing his own laundry. Still does. Do you have any smaller chores he can take care of so you both have a bit more free time?

Good luck juggling!