Working Moms

[rmjkharrisfam]

Oh I love this saying... Where can I buy a sign...

This was from a working mom's day by day calendar that I had a few years ago. I just HAD to keep that one!

 

[aroyer]

Working mom here! I was lucky and got to stay home with DD until she was 3 1/2. At that point my DH decided to go back to school full time and DD started preschool. It was then that I had to go back to work. Preschool was actually a great move for DD- she had been around grownups for too long! DS came along almost two years ago and I wish I could stay home with him! Oh well... he is happy with his nanny. DH is finally out of schooland is employed, but my job has the health benefits, so it isn't fianancially possible for me to stay home.

 

[Juliet25]

I've done most of the work scenarios since DD4 was born: WOHM-full time; switched to part-time; did the SAHM thing while running an eBay business; WOHM-full time again; currently, I'm a WOHM for 32 hours a week with fridays off. I *love* my schedule. It's the perfect balance. DD is in day care 2 days a week, and with Grandma one day. I WAH for 5 hours during the week as well -- my schedule is super flexible.

Admittedly, the majority of my paycheck goes to day care (even just 2 days a week). I work for the health benefits basically. We'd be paying way too much if we bought family coverage through DH's job.

If I had more than 1 child, I'd probably be a SAHM. I honestly don't know how the parents of more than one kid can afford day care where my DD goes. DD's care is about $50/day and I have 18 more months of payments before kindergarten starts.

 

[Georgia]

I thought this was so interesting - DH & I both completely ahore the word "butt" and don't allow our dd4 to say it. We call it "booty" for her. We consider "butt" extremely derogatory compared to "booty" for a pre-schooler. Why would you let a little girl/boy say "butt" over "booty"? I honestly don't get this, and am asking sincerely

I understand completely...just a personal preference thing...we really would prefer she use bottom instead of butt or booty.

DH and I both have trashy cousins that use "booty" and I teach HS...hear it all the time (among other things).

You know...everybody has something that grates on their nerves!

 

[Georgia]

Sorry for going OT here but I just wanted to answer this question.

I'll give you my reasoning. I associate 'booty' with sex as in, she's just a 'booty call'. It is also used in prison with the term "booty check" and "booty bandit". If that wasn't enough reasoning, it is also used in a derogatory (sexual) way in several current songs as well.

My girls say butt or bum and it doesn't bother me at all. Booty, on the other had, would be stopped immediately.

What is so derogatory about butt? I'm also asking sincerely?

I've never been able to figure out what annoys me about it...I've always associated it with a trashy cousin of mine. But I think you've got it! It is the sex/rock video thing that goes with it.

 

[belle&beast]

I work part-time outside of the home and run a home based business (which gets put to the back burner I must admit! ) I have worked full time and tried to stay home, too, but I am a terrible SAHM! I procrastinate and then nothing ever gets done! It's much more fun to go to the zoo than clean! So, right now I work Tuesdays through Thursdays and I work in a preschool setting, so I do get school breaks and summers off. It is what works for our family.

 

[BethID]

Another working mom here! I have 2 boys, 3 and 5. I am a pharmacist and work 4 ten hour shifts- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and every other weekend. On Thursdays and Fridays they are home with me. My DH is a teacher and is with them on the weekends I work. It would be nice to always have weekends off together, but my schedule has always included weekends so you just get used to it. Plus it probably keeps DH and I from driving each other crazy!

 

[BrookeTx]

I just graduated this past December with my BA in Victim Studies (Criminal Justice field). I have 2 daughters, 5 and 2. My husband works f/t, but ihs job is fairly flexible. I will start f/t on 4/2 and will be a social worker for Adult Protective Services.

I am very nervous yet excited. I haven't worked f/t (due to school) since my oldest was 1 year. My older dd goes to preschool 3x a week and stays with my mom the other 2. My youngest goes to home childcare. Next year the oldest starts Kindergarten!

We are very lucky as both dh and I have family that lives here...in fact all of them do!

We wanted to start trying for #3 when Camryn turned 2 (which was in Feb.), but there is NO way we can afford 2 in childcare. So we will either wait until Camryn is closer to 5, mil fully retires or maybe decide 2 children is okay with us.

Well wish me luck as I start working on Monday (4/2). I have enjoyed being a part-time worker (at WIC), student and stay at home mom though! I am gonna miss my babies!

 

[RichNKatHolly]

I just graduated this past December with my BA in Victim Studies (Criminal Justice field). I have 2 daughters, 5 and 2. My husband works f/t, but ihs job is fairly flexible. I will start f/t on 4/2 and will be a social worker for Adult Protective Services.

I am very nervous yet excited. I haven't worked f/t (due to school) since my oldest was 1 year. My older dd goes to preschool 3x a week and stays with my mom the other 2. My youngest goes to home childcare. Next year the oldest starts Kindergarten!

We are very lucky as both dh and I have family that lives here...in fact all of them do!

We wanted to start trying for #3 when Camryn turned 2 (which was in Feb.), but there is NO way we can afford 2 in childcare. So we will either wait until Camryn is closer to 5, mil fully retires or maybe decide 2 children is okay with us.

Well wish me luck as I start working on Monday (4/2). I have enjoyed being a part-time worker (at WIC), student and stay at home mom though! I am gonna miss my babies!

Best of luck on Monday! I started back almost 1 year ago after being a SAHM for 6 years. The first week was a little rough (missing the kids, mom guilt) and then I loved it. The winter was hard too, but we're getting back on track. Keep a strict schedule and plan M-F and let it all hang loose on the weekends.

You'll do great! Let us know how Monday goes.

 

[KELLY]

Thanks for all the responses.

Kelly

 

[kristenrice]

I work full-time as a critical care paramedic and DH is a police officer. Boy, do we have some colorful stories to tell around the dinner table I work 3 days a week (14 hour shifts). DH works 6am-6pm and I work 2:30pm-4:30am. Our schedule is arranged so that when I work at night, DH is off the next morning. There is only 1 day a week that we are both working and on that day, our 2 DD's (ages 3 and 18 months) go to Grandpa and Grandma's house for the afternoon. It is an ideal situation because our girls have one parent home with them almost every day. We don't have a lot of time off together (only 1-2 days a week that DH and I are both not working) but we at least have some time EVERY day that we are BOTH home. On my old schedule, I worked the same weekends as DH so, although we had every other weekend off together, I would have to work until 4am and he would have to be to work at 6am. This lack of sleep was OK, for about a day...but I had to do it 3 days in a row! That had to change. Now, it works about as perfectly as we could expect. Our situation is ideal because we can both work full-time and the kids only need "babysitting" for about 5 hours a week.

 

[cccm]

One more checking in.....

I leave for work at 6:30 and arrive home at 5:30. DH drops DD off at my sister's house at 8:00. My sister is about 1.5 miles down the road, we are in same school district. She gets on and off the bus at my sister's house. She is with them for just over 2 hours a day. During vacations she is there all day long, with her three boy cousins. My working allows my sister to stay home with her family, and allows us to enjoy alot of traveling, etc.

I am in a little different situation as I came into the family when DD was 2.5. I have always worked (since I was 15). So I never stayed at home,never got the joy of a baby either.

I am trying now to figure out what is going to happen for next year. I will be a leader in her Jr. Girl Scout Troop, and that is at the same time I am at work. I may end up going to 4 days a week.

 

[rentayenta]

For the record, I believe all moms are working moms. I was a SAHM for the first 9 years of my children's lives but am now working 30-35 hours a week. I work at a local hospital on the psych unit. It's a lock down facility. Basically people get there only a few ways: attempting suicide or having SI with the means and a plan, or having HI. We also get some chronically mentally ill patients as well, schizophrenia, BAD who are not med compliant and lots of folks with Axis II PDs.

Anyway.............I went back to work in May 2006. I had little part time serving jobs while being a SAHM but would work 1 shift a week and only when DH was home. He is a firefighter and has a lot of days off per month.

I started my Master's in 2004 and needed to go back to work this past year for licensure hours. I am able to work because one of my best girlfriends agreed to come to our home and tend our children while we are working. I pay her $40 a day and it's well worth it.

What I want to know is what in the heck did I do with all the free time I had? I am strapped for time but my kids are happier (we spend more quality time together), my home is cleaner, and my marriage is stronger than ever! I think that I have to prioritize now and never really had to before. The money doesn't hurt either.

I did get to spend the first 9 years home with my eldest who is 10, the first 7 years with Chloe who is 8, and the first 4 with Joshua who is 5.

What I hate is missing on Joshua's K activities. I got to do all of the girls' stuff; be the room mom, all of the field trips, etc., I can still do some of that but it takes a lot more coordination. I have learned how to say no.

I think my girls see me more as a person now, not just their mom. Might be due to their ages (frontal lobe development) coupled with the fact that they see me helping people in crisis. They have learned that helping others is a necessary of society.

 

[DisneyFanadict]

I am a single, full-time working mom of 2. My oldest is 7 1/2 and my youngest just turned 1 on 3/25. Both of my kids stay in daycare. Odd as it may seem to some, I actually love working. I love where I work, my job and the people I work with. I stayed home for half a year when my youngest was born and I thought I'd die of boredom.

In your case, you are so lucky you have your mom. Nothing beats family when it comes to babysitting. Count your blessings!!! Take care

 

[karen l]

I have 3 great kids & work full time. My 2 oldest are both in college now (yikes - time flies) & my youngest DS is 12. I've always worked full time - I have to now because my DH passed away. It's been very hard for my youngest DS because he had to go into daycare at a very young age after my Mom passed away. Also, my DS now attends school in a different town so he has to stay at the after school program until I pick him up. Our town's middle school is atrocious - dropped foreign languages, honors courses & several other courses. We have long days but my job allows us those magical trips to WDW.

 

[eeyoregon]

My ex-husband left me when my kids were 20 months and almost 5. That was 10 years ago and I have worked full-time ever since and for a few years I worked a full-time and a part-time job. It SUCKS!!! When I had my boys I had planned on being a stay-at-home mommy "forever" but life happens and in comes the time clock. That is why I work very hard to be able to take my boys to Disney World each year as the family time and memories made are truly pricesless!

 

[Andrea from PA]

I am working mom of 3 -- DS 11, DS7 & DD 5 (will be 6 in May)

I've allways worked full time outside the home. Hate it, but I earn more then DH & I carry the health insurance.

Our house is a mess. Laundry is always backed up. Meals are hap hazzard some nights -- Like tonight -- Picked up 2 youngest from after school science program, rushed home, changed DS for baseball, ran to field. DH & DS 11 met me later at field. Swapped boys. Came home so DS11 could change for baseball. DS 7 done practice, pick up a pizza, drop off DS 11. De stress at computer dreaming of Disney before getting DS11, worrying about homework & baths...Yeah, I hate it. But it makes Disney that much better Lots of time together.

And to think I only let my kids be involved in 1 non-school activity -- DS 11 wanted to play on multiple baseball teams. Those kids do double practice some nights (Last night they went from 5:15 - 9 with a half hour break in between) -- They are 11 for goodness sakes!

Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[**eeyore**]

I am working mom of 3 -- DS 11, DS7 & DD 5 (will be 6 in May)

I've allways worked full time outside the home. Hate it, but I earn more then DH & I carry the health insurance.

Our house is a mess. Laundry is always backed up. Meals are hap hazzard some nights -- Like tonight -- Picked up 2 youngest from after school science program, rushed home, changed DS for baseball, ran to field. DH & DS 11 met me later at field. Swapped boys. Came home so DS11 could change for baseball. DS 7 done practice, pick up a pizza, drop off DS 11. De stress at computer dreaming of Disney before getting DS11, worrying about homework & baths...Yeah, I hate it. But it makes Disney that much better Lots of time together.

And to think I only let my kids be involved in 1 non-school activity -- DS 11 wanted to play on multiple baseball teams. Those kids do double practice some nights (Last night they went from 5:15 - 9 with a half hour break in between) -- They are 11 for goodness sakes!

Thanks for letting me vent!

I just wanted to say I admire you for your honesty! You brought up a great point - lots of women are working outside the home not just so they can have nice houses and cars, but a lot of us are working so that our families can have sufficient health care benefits. I definitely feel like a hamster running around in a wheel sometimes! Thanks again for your honesty. I'd like to think that we are all here to support each other.

 

[RmrJmrGrl]

Add me to the working for health insurance and to keep a roof over our head!! (And the occasional vacation!) It is a crazy thing and finding people in the same situation online has made it so much better!!!

BA

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Hi!

I just wanted to quickly check in again and share my household secret. Actually, it isn't a secret and it isn't for everybody, but I love the Flylady system. It just gets you doing everything in a routine. I don't think in the morning when I'm rushing out the door, I just go on automatic pilot and everything gets done.

If anyone is interested, the website is www.flylady.net. I am the type that is easily distracted, and this really works for me.

Our minivan is a 1997 model (we only have one car), so I guess I'm not working for a nice car. We do have a nicer home than I ever imagined I'd live in, but I don't think most people would consider it luxurious. I was the first person in my family to go to college, so I didn't exactly grow up in the lap of luxury. It was fine and I was fortunate to have such a loving close family, but taking two steps up does not put us in Trump territory. I guess we're the Huxtables less affluent neighbors.

I have a friend that accused me of working just to pay for our fancy vacations. We do take a weeklong trip once a year -- usually Disney or a cruise. Believe me, if my salary only paid for that, I wouldn't bother. It does help significantly pay our mortgage, various insurances, college and retirement funds, not to mention the scary oil bill...

Ok, so now you see what I mean about being easily distracted! I really enjoy the work I do, and I enjoy being a mom. To be brutally honest, I know myself very well -- if I didn't work outside the home, I think I would hide inside and my girth would greatly increase (yes, I would sit and eat way too much, even though I should be doing things -- this is just me, not a reflection of anyone else). It's good that I'm forced to go out and see people, and interact. I am a bit of a loner to start with, so giving me the option of not leaving the house is not the best idea. I realize many SAHM moms don't SAH, but I know I would.

Being a working mom is good for me in many ways, and equally important it's good for my family. If it was bad for me and good for the family I would still do it, so I guess I am very fortunate.