Working mom's - how do you manage everything?

[JoyG]

I can't manage everything.

The thing that gets forgotten most of the time is the housecleaning. Unfortunately dh is the type of husband who doesn't do any of it...and I don't have time most days so it's not getting done.

I work full time and the kids or I have an activity almost every night of the week. When we get home, I do homework with the boys. On Saturdays I do the grocery shopping and run errands, have another activity for the boys, and do the laundry.

On Sundays I go to church and try to get my lesson plans done for work. I also try to relax and take some "me" time.

When I have a three day weekend or an extra day off, I really try to devote it to housecleaning, but that certainly doesn't happen all the time. I got it really clean not too long ago when we had a week off of school due to a snowstorm!

But most days the house is a mess. The only good thing is I'm not home all that much to worry about it!

 

[Serena]

It looks like most of us don't manage everything. But we do the best we can. The hardest part is learning to be ok with that.

 

[Tracey1974]

Both DH and I work 55 miles from home which lends itself to a commute of anywhere from 1-2 hours. I work Mon-Thu so Fridays are my days to try to get the house in order for the weekend. Right now there is a pile of clean clothes on the couch waiting to be folded, 1 in the washer and 1 in the dryer. The dishwasher needs to be emptied and DS's toys are strewn about.

DH was asking about a cleaning lady but I just don't think we can add that expense. It's tight with me only getting 80% of my salary and now we are paying a family member to look after DS so we are paying out more that we are used to putting in.

I try to get 1 thing done every night after DS goes to sleep whether it is cleaning a bathroom, doing dishes or organizing toys. It is very hard- harder than I thought it would be before I went back to work.

 

[U2_rocks!]

I'm really glad I'm not alone.

I didn't put it in the OP because I thought I'd get flamed but every working mom I know in real life has a cleaning person. I think I might have to start asking for recommendations!

Nope, you're not alone. I'd be drowning too if I didn't have a cleaning person (actually I have 3 different people in my house over the course of a week!). The ladies that work for me are great. The one that works Tues, Wed & Fri afternoons will cook something if I need her to, or even just prepare veggies for me to steam when I get home - she primarily works next door at my parents' house, but she gives me about 6 hours/week spread over 3 days, and does whatever we're falling behind on. Our Mon & Thurs afternoon lady primarily works for our other neighbor - she does the heavy cleaning and washing, no cooking. The third lady is there to look after the kids and their stuff. In the morning she has my nephew (and my brother pays me for that), and in the afternoon she has both him and my 3 yo (my mom brings her home from preschool). During school holidays she has all 3 of mine plus my nephew - that's why we still need her! I bring the 2 older kids home from school and I don't have to go back out - I'm with them for the rest of the afternoon. But a couple of days I am late home (grocery shopping, cub scouts) and I need someone to be with DD3.

I know we are lucky that I am an accountant and I make very good money even working a less than fulltime job - I'd never be able to afford all this help otherwise. If I weren't a high income earner I'd probably have found something I could do from home so I didn't have child care costs.

 

[mikamah]

I'm a single mom to a 4 year old and work full time. It is hard to keep up on everything. It is the housecleaning that slacks for me. My house can be very cluttered and messy most of the time. We eat a lot of easy to prepare foods- I love the rotissery chickens, and when I do cook I always make enough to have a couple days of leftovers.We do take out usually once a week. The dishes may sit in the sink a couple days til I empty the dishwasher. It is not my priority. I figure he's only little once, and before I know it, he won't want to be playing candyland and chutes and ladders with me any more. I feel most guilty about the time I spend on the computer while he is watching TV. I'm trying to take time for myself and not feel bad about it, cause it helps me regroup and in the long run makes me a better mom.

Try to relax and not worry about the little things. It the big scheme of things your kids will remember the time they spend with you, not how clean your house is, or what they ate for dinner.

 

[mrsltg]

It's hard, isn't it? I work fulltime and have 2 dd's. DH and I divide the chores pretty evenly (he does all the laundry). We have a chart that lists the days of the week and the chores to be done that day and by whom. It takes no more than 1/2 an hour (I won't spend more time on it than that) which is very manageable. I make easy dinners for the most part or cook ahead (ie, I can throw a meatloaf in the oven for an hour on Monday night and eat it on Tuesday.) My dh and I work opposite shifts which helps tremendously. I think the biggest help I have found, though, is just giving every room a quick glance before I leave it. If there is something in that room that needs to go to the way I'm headed I grab it. It's amazing how much clutter accumulates and how messy it looks!

The best thing I can tell you is to know when to let go. Know when to order a pizza. Know when cereal is an ok dinner. Know when the floor will have to wait another day to be mopped and let it go. I keep reminding myself that "Better Homes and Gardens" won't be stopping by anytime soon for a photo-shoot, and that's just fine by me!

Good luck!!!

 

[Cantw8]

there the hardest working people in the world, and sexy

awwww, you are so sweet Yes, it is very difficult but it is all a matter of budgeting your time. Prioritizing and multi tasking are essential tools. So what if you had Eggos for dinner that actually sounds pretty good

 

[SC Minnie]

I don't manage everything.

I am supposed to work until 5 but end up much later at least 3 nights a week (2 times this week I got home around 8 ).

Anyway, my home is a pig sty. It is generally clean but don't even think about doing the white glove test.

Dh does more than his share of housework. He works less hours. He took half day off yesterday and when I got home at 5:30 the floors were clean and supper was started. As well as 2 load of wash had been done.

 

[kellyg403]

Mom and Stepmom to 6 kids still living at home. And, I agree with the others learning to be o.k. with a less than perfect house is the only way to survive. When I was married to ex, my house was spotless etc. Now, I am lucky if I can get a load of laundry done. As the kids get older it seems to get harder. More junk, more meltdowns, more activities etc. Just last week, I had my youngest son go through his dirty laundry and bring me 7 pairs of everything so I knew at least his laundry was done for one week. Figured I might find time for something during the week. A cleaning lady would be a godsend, but I would have to clean before she got here.

Like another said, fitting in work, time for kids, time for dh, time for the dogs and then the house...because certainly time for me is rare...is the hardest part. I guess another glass of wine is definitely in order!

Kelly

 

[disneyjunkie]

Another single mom. My son and I lived in NC for 9 years. All of my family member were here. Other than a few friends, I didn't really have a support system there.

When my son was younger there were certain things I had to do in order not to go crazy.

On Sunday nights I'd iron our clothes for the whole week. All the clothes my son needed for the day were on one hanger.

When I cooked, I'd cook enough for two nights. This way I only had to cook Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. The crockpot and 5 minute rice were my best friends. Saturday was hotdog night.

I cleaned the house whenever there was time.

Laundry was done on the weekend.

Moving back to NY made my life so much easier.

I rent from my parents who live above us. With my mom so close, I don't have to worry about my son eating.

I toss in a load of laundry late at night or first thing in the morning.

Since my son attends a Catholic high school, clothes aren't an issue.

My biggest issue now is just finding time to sit and

 

[bjgrazi]

I was married for 13 years and then a single Mom with 2 kids for 6 years and I worked full time and finished my degree. But while married I still considered myself a single parent.

House was never a pigsty, but some days was a bit messy. Most days I did keep it clean. I never had a cleaning lady. But kids pitched in and then I found that just a few minutes to put everything away and not just drop it helped.
I never let the mail pile up. As I got it out of the mail box I sorted it, junk got thrown away. Bills put in their spot and then the pile I needed to look at but not important.

If you ate something cleaned it up right away. Threw a load in the morning before I left for work, sometimes got it into the drier and the other load into wash. I folded at night as I watched a tv show.

The key I found was to organize myself. Set some rules and don't be too hard. We did it. For now I'm a SAHM with a 6mo old, but that's going to end soon. I still keep the routines I had before staying home.

 

[powellrj]

Decide whats important and focus on that. The other day there was a thread about making your bed. I decided many years ago that was NOT important so it rarely gets done. On the other hand having the laundry caught up is important to me so that is usually done.

I am a morning person so that's when most things get done at our house. I like to get up early and throw a couple of loads of clothes in before I leave.

I also like to have meals ready when I get home, so cooking ahead is also something that's important to me. This weeks rotation was Goulash, hamburgers on grill, hobo dinners, chili, tacos.

The kids and DH also have to help. DS runs the vacuum, empties trash and cleans glass. DD dusts and changes beds, DH cleans bathroom and does dishes. I take care of laundry, shopping, cooking and paperwork. Everyone is suppose to keep things picked up, but that job usually falls to me because I am pickier than they are.

A cleaning lady would be wonderful, but its not in the budget. I found its easier if we pick a time and all clean house together. It doesn't seem to take as long and there is less whining if everyone is working together. We pretty much decide mid-week when we are going to clean house and then don't make any plans for that 4 hour time frame.

Good luck

 

[Christine]

I've been working since I was a teenager and have never stopped. My kids are now 15 and 11 and I have worked the entire time--full time with a horrendous commute! I find there are two things you need to be: not too uptight about stuff and to be an *efficient* kind of person.

I do everything quickly, I don't dilly-dally around, and everything is on a schedule. I am often very tired and burnt out, but I keep everything going. My house is not a pig sty but it is not a model home either. We definitely have a lot of clutter in the house by Friday. I do spend my weekends running errands, doing laundry, and cleaning. If I could do more during the week, that would help but I am too tired.

My one big *important* thing is to cook a dinner at least 5 nights a week. I get home around 4:00 p.m. and I immediately start cooking. DH does most of the "kid carting" chores so that helps. If he wasn't home to do that, I'm sure that our dinners would be severely impacated.

Once or twice a week, we eat at Panera, Boston Market or something like that. We never do McDonald's or that level for dinner.

I used to have a cleaning lady and it was nice; however, I was always "pressured" the night before she came to put away all the clutter. Also, I started not liking the fact that I was out $200 a month for cleaning so I eventually stopped doing that just to save the money.

I think after you've been working for awhile you will get a routine going and things will run a bit smoother. "Working Mom" can be done but you do give up a bit of the luxury of life!

 

[shirleyb]

I have 3 kids and work full time, I am a girl scout leader and am on troop committee for boy scouts and cub scouts, so there are literally many weeks when I don't get home until 9 pm. It's tough, and my house definitely suffers. I too, would like to get a cleaning lady, but then I'd have to clean my house before she could come!!!!

Luckily my kids are old enough that they get their own baths, etc, but that also means more running around. DS's play football, wrestle, and do track in the spring, along with boy scouts, and DD does girl scouts, twirling, and softball in the spring. Because of their activities, I'm often picking them up and running right to practice, so they eat way too much take out from Subway.

I'd like my life to be simpler, but I haven't made the committment for that to happen. Good luck!

 

[Colorado Mom]

I am a stay at home mom, have a 14 and 11 year old and nanny in my home for a 15 month old. I say eggos for supper is just fine
We do a variety of stuff for suppers. We do eat out a few times a week usually, have freezer meals ready (IF I rememebr to defrost them), sometimes it is a more trad meal and sometimes it's hamburger helper or canned soup and sometimes it's fend for yourself night. I do keep a stock of froz burritos and pizzas, the boys can make those themselves.
Also, there are lots of preplanned menu services out there, from fancy to super simple. That might be something you'd be willing to buy that takes away a chore.

I will echo what someone else said, flylady.com is a wonderful tool to use. Can't say that I follow her all that much but the ideas and concepts have helped me.

Now today I actually have the day off! Kids are home from school too
I have a few chores to do but plan on spending today playing with my kiddos and having fun!

 

[luv2crash]

I work full time as a city clerk and have 2 children ages 11 & 7. I am fortunately married to a wonderful man who helps alot around the house. I haven't done laundry in quite some time as he does most of that. Uncle Sam taught him to iron and make a bed much better than my Mom taught me!

My son plays sports and my daughter is a gymnast so we do stay on the go. I also am away from home several nights a month attending council meetings or committee meetings.

The best thing I do to keep the house in order and not have to waste a Saturday cleaning is to clean one room a night, that way the house is never too far from "company ready". I fill the dishwasher every night and start it before bed and unload it first thing in the morning so there are never dishes in the sink. That is my BIGGEST pet peave. I hate dishes in the sink!

My floor gets mopped several nights a week because my daughter thinks the SWIFFER WET JET IS THE BEST TOY EVER!!!!!

 

[Pigeon]

I work out of the home. I will admit, my house is usually a mess. I'm not sure why because I feel like when I am home, I never sit still for 5 minutes, but still the house is a wreck.

I do try hard to cook dinner most nights. I will do bulk cooking on the weekends so that I always have good frozen entrees in the freezer. I can get a reasonably good meal on the table in 20 minutes.

My dh is wonderful. He does at least half the child care, and we split household responsiblities pretty equally.

 

[nuke]

You are soooo not alone. I was just complaining the other day because I am so overwhelmed lately. This is the first weekend we have NOTHING to do in the past 4 months. So I am tackling the kitchen with the heavy behind the stove type cleaning and I have vowed to clean up my desk at home. It's the catch all and is always messy. If I get those two things done this weekend I will be happy. DH will have to do the laundry this week.

 

[Minnie]

You are sooooo not alone in this

I work full-time, attend graduate school full-time (MBA track), and have a DS (age 13 now). We live in the country on 10 acres and have 2 horses, 2 dogs, 2 barn cats, 2 turtles, and fish to also take care of.

Somedays I fell like I just want to get back in bed and pull the covers over my head. Last night was the breaking point on the house and I "made" DF help unclutter part of the house. This weekend is packed once again with activities but I am going to make sure to squeeze a couple hours to do some cleaning.

You've been given some great ideas on this thread. Just remember the house is the last thing to worry about compared to the children and family.

 

[arkansas mom]

I am eternally lazy.
DH is quite the opposite. Thank God.
He does most of the day to day things--a load of laundry here and there, picking up stray items, dishwasher loading and unloading, and about half of the cooking.
I do the heavy duty stuff on the weekends. I just don't want to come home at 5 or 6 and work on the house. I'd rather get it done on Saturday morning. Sometimes I use it as a bribe for myself. Finish the cleaning and then I can DIS!