Working in another country - Moving question

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

voted YES!!!!

but, as others have said, it would depend on where. We may get a chance to go to UK for DH's job, but it is too soon to tell.

 

[Tinks]

The other thing to consider is that "2 years" is likely to turn into more. Unless you have a signed contract that states you are being moved back in 2 years, chances are you will be staying longer than that.

Just my opinion after living with many many expats over here. We are all on the "2 year" plan.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

The other thing to consider is that "2 years" is likely to turn into more. Unless you have a signed contract that states you are being moved back in 2 years, chances are you will be staying longer than that.

Just my opinion after living with many many expats over here. We are all on the "2 year" plan.

Yes, we're currently on the third year of our 2 year plan, with at least one more to go (I hope!).

The first year is always tough emotionally and financially draining (even with a lucrative expat package, there will always be unforeseen expenses). However, after that first year, life becomes much easier, and depending on your package, quite financially rewarding .

Living in a country very different from your own is ofter easier to adjust to than moving across your own country. There will be expat groups to help your transition. You will find that you will make friends with people from all over the world, many of whom you might not have back in your home country, but you'll be glad that you did.

The international schools will be full of other children experiencing the same adjustments and challenges as your own kids. They will learn to adapt and have an appreciation for other cultures. I highly recommend the book "Third Culture Kids", if you are interested in the positives and negatives of international moves with children.

Finally, you will likely find time to be good to yourself. I've lost 20 lbs after finally making time to work out; I'm in the best shape I've been since I was a teenager. Many of my friends take classes in Spanish, photography, cooking, etc. You can have the chance to explore what YOU want to do. Many trailing spouses also get part-time jobs (I tutor math), so it's possible to keep up your skills in your profession.

After two years, I have NO regrets moving to Chile. I wouldn't have said that six months in, though...the adjustment was tough. But definitely, definitely worth it.

 

[mtemm]

I would, depending on the country. my friend lived overseas with her husband for years, but before she had kids. it was for his job, but while there (singapore and china) she worked in the American Schools there and had good things to say about them.

 

[Hillbeans]

Wow, THANK YOU everyone for your comments, details of your own experiences and information. It is all very helpful

 

[Drew Sailbum]

I'm 105 months into my 6 month plan.

Living overseas can be a great gift to your kids. Learning a language is nice, but far more important is coming to a genuine realization that 95% of the population of the world are not Americans. Literally.

Things are different. Not necessairly better or worse. Different.

Being able to understand and appreciate some of those differences can provide a serious advantage for your kids later in life. It is a much more globalized world.

 

[Angelhalo]

Sorry, I should clarify it would be China.

Kids ages are 5 and 9.

It is still not definite, it's being considered but I am just not as excited as I think I should be - I work PT and while my job is nothing fancy I can't imagine moving that far away from my family and friends and everything I have here, and having the kids in 2 years of overseas schooling. I know some people would jump at the chance and never look back, but I think DH is more excited about it because he's there now on a long term assignment and really enjoys what he has been doing. My fear is that he has work and i'm going to be sort of floundering. It would most likely be a great opportunity for DH career-wise, something that may be too good to pass up.

I put maybe before I read China. I don't think so in that case. I'd want to move to a country where people speak mostly english.

 

[wdwiala]

The wording of your OP is unclear....are you considering sending him off and you stay here with the kids? Please don't do that!

I moved around quite a bit as a child because of my father's job. Sometimes it was painful but overall I think that it has made me a far more confident person. I am at ease in new situations and don't fear this kind of move at all.

Many of my father's coworkers were divorced because their wives wouldn't leave home.

I know a family who lived overseas while their children were young. Today, their kids are in their 20's. They have no fear of world travel and do it often.

I wish that I had had this chance. I think, as Americans, that we have a very small world view sometimes. I would love to experience more and bring my family along for the ride. What better way to do it than having your employer footing the bill?

Another couple (no young kids) that we know lived in China for several years with their job. They loved it as well. Their young adult son even came over there to work post-college for a year to get a new experience.

And finally! (sorry, I know that I've rambled). I have had the chance to work the last several years with many families of Chinese background. They have been wonderful. I admire their strong sense of community. It's something that we have almost lost here in America.

 

[DAISY DUCK FAN!]

I voted that I would do so in a minute. And since DH was laid off this past Monday (8/16), it is something that we are actually considering.
If possible, we would sell our house, put somethings in storage, sell or donate the rest. And off we'd go.
We home-school our youngest 2 boys (10 & 7) and what an adventure it would be.
The oldest (almost 23) would stay in the US. He would most likely move to Florida and live with his father.

 

[cc1013]

My company frequently relocates people. In fact, I lived in Zurich for 8 months back in 2003. At the time, I was not married and DH and I were dating. We did the long distance thing, but it was fantastic when he came to visit me. The experience was amazing.

My previous boss just relocated his family (wife, 5yo daughter, 2yo son) to Shanghai. It is supposed to be a 4 year assignment. They elected to sell their house in the US as the carrying costs were high and they wanted to rent a larger home in Shanghai that what the company would subsidize. They live in an area that is primarily all US and British expats and I hear it is a great community. The kids go to 'American' school (not sure exactly what that means, I assume it is private and mirrors the US methods). The cost of labor in Shanghai is very inexpensive. The have a driver (they are prohibited from driving there) and a maid which I believe is paid for by the company. There are TONS of expats in China right now, so it can be more comfortable that you would imagine.

The wife has had a hard time adjusting as she grew up and lived in the same area all her life. She misses her family and friend and quite honestly, they had a 'dream house' in the US before selling it. He promised her that they will get something even better when they return, but I've heard the adjustment was hard on her. This is probably somewhat due to the fact that he travels about 60% of the time and isn't there with the family as much as she would like. Still, she says she is happy they made the decision and didn't pass it up. The kids adapted very quickly as they are young.

I would recommend talking seriously with a relocation counselor (work may be able to provide one) to determine what the situation is before you make a decision.

If the opportunity came up for me again, I'm not sure how excited I would be about Asia. I would prefer Europe. Then again, I don't know if I could ask my DH to put his career on hold to support mine. At work, I always say that I'm willing to entertain the conversations, but it would depend on the situation.

 

[rparmfamily]

Ditto to the above poster...my friends in China (he flies for a Chinese airline) live in an "American" part of town and her chidren attend the international school, where English is the primary language but they also learn Chinese. She LOVES that her girls go to school with some dutch children, and english children, etc and are exposed to different cultures. Prior to this, they lived their whole lives in Indiana.

She's made friends with some other english speaking women, and she also has a nanny, cook and maid! (she's a SAHM!)

 

[PigletsPal2]

I would do, and have done, nine times! DH was a Forign Service officer, and we lived in Panama, Spain, Peru, Turkey, England, Indonesia, Cote d'Ivoire, the Philippines and Germany. DD#1 graduated HS in Peru and DD#2 attended four international schools. Great experiences for both - they both speak fluent Spanish, #2 speaks French (learned in Turkey, along w/a little Turkish, which is a use-it-or-lose-it language). Favorite country was England (I'm part English), lease favorite was Cote d'Ivoire, simply because we had no US mail service (no APO, had to use diplomatic pouch). I desperately miss traveling on Uncle Sam's dime!

Queen Colleen

 

[bumbershoot]

The only issue would be "where", and the policies about schooling and other things about kids.