Working in another country - Moving question

[Hillbeans]

Would you be willing to move to another country for a 2-3 year assignment for your spouse? You'd still keep your house in the US and pay the mortgage, but the company would pay for your accommodations in the Host city, moving expenses, incidentals, lawn maintenance, private school for your kids, etc.

I'm just curious, may be facing this very thing and was just wondering if everyone else thought it was the adventure of a lifetime or just putting your and your kids lives on "hold" for 2-3 years.

 

[RadioNate]

Depends on the country....I lean towards yes but would strongly depend on WHERE.

 

[doxdogy]

Voted maybe, because it would really depend on what country.

 

[dislaney]

I think it is much easier to do when your kids are in the younger grades. Once they get to be a certain age most kids don't want to do this anymore. If you have an open mind and look at it as an adventure and learning opportunity, I think it can be a positive thing.

 

[Chelley00]

We have friends who are moving to England in 2 months for his job for 2 years. Sad for us, but excited for them. They have both younger and older kids, but felt like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity they couldn't pass up.

 

[golfgal]

I voted yes, in a heartbeat--but then again if it was to some remote village in Africa, maybe not.

I have a friend doing this right now. They are in Europe and have traveled all over in the past year. He is starting year 3 of 5 right now and they LOVE it. They have a similar set up where they kept their house here and the company is paying all their expenses overseas as well as several trips home during the year. Their kids are having a blast and love the schools. I wouldn't think twice at the same opportunity.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

I think it definately depends on where and for how long. My Aunt and Uncle did this in South Africa and Egypt. What was supposed to be 2-3 years turned into 15. They liked South Africa, but Egypt, not as much. Good luck with your decision!

 

[Imzadi]

It depends on the country & city. If it was some impoverished, war-torn country, with no running water? Sorry, no.

Some country that we currently have terrorism conflicts with, where being an American is a danger? Definite NO.

If it was France or Europe? Yes.

Julia Child accompanied her husband when he was stationed in France. She struggled for the first few months until she enrolled in cooking classes there.

The rest is history.

 

[Northstar]

I voted maybe, not so much because there are only certain countries I'd go to... (if your company is moving you and your family there it's unlikely it's an assignment in a war zone or remote undeveloped country).... but more because I think you need to look at each person in the household and what opportunities might be available for them.

You mention "putting your life on hold".... this is so common for spouses of executives who are given overseas postings that there are special support groups and counselling for them.

If you're at a crucial point in your own training or career, and would be sacrificing some really good opportunities by going as a spouse, I wouldn't do it. Or I'd have my spouse do some hard negotiating with his company to win some kind of compensation for what I'd be giving up. You'd be surprised what they might be able to come up with.


On the other hand, I think everybody in the world should have a chance to live for a while in another country. It's a big world and I want to experience more of it!

 

[Disneyglobegirl]

Funny you should post this as this is something that may be happening to us this fall/winter with my DH's job. We have already talked to the kids (14 and 16) about it and they are slowly warming up to the idea. In our case it may be a move to Australia for 2-5 years. We should know soon if it is going to happen for us.

Also my DH's cousin is currently working in Switzerland for her job and her husband and daughter love it. They moved from California. She says it has been a really positive experience for them.

 

[ilovepcot]

We did this in the late 80's but it was for several months each time...not years.

First place was a tiny town (suppose it was really more of a village) outside Munich. Neither of us could eat the food but enjoyed the people so much. Sightseeing on week-ends was incredible. A company rep played "tour guide" for us or we wouldn't have seen and done nearly as much on our own.

Second place we also spent several months was a town outside Milan. Food was better and we were taken everywhere. Owner of the company sent a driver who couldn't have been nicer or done more. Truly, an experience we'll *never* be able to repeat. Priceless! Would do it all over in a heartbeat but that chapter of our lives has closed.

 

[MiniGirl]

In a heartbeat!!!!!

 

[NMAmy]

Well, I did it when my ex was in the military for a lot less of an incentive.

I would absolutely do it again. I loved living in another country. DH and I have discussed retiring for at least part of the year in England. (He's British.)

 

[Tinks]

I feel like I should reply! We moved to Singapore nearly three years ago with DH's job.

I have to say after living overseas, it would depend on the country! No way would I live in India. Probably not China or Indonesia. Probably not South America after hearing expats talk about their time there. I would jump on a chance to live in Europe. Singapore, while it has it's challenges at times, has been wonderful and is an extremely easy Asian country to live in as a Westerner.

My kids have grown tremendously as individuals. I believe their experience here is a large part of that. Our school, and most American international schools, is incredible. I dread returning to the States because I can't find the caliber of school we have here. It's beyond words.

That being said, I do very often feel my life is on "hold". I'm doing things here I wouldn't have done back home, such as taking up tennis. That's been very fun! But your friends back home keep living life without you and sometimes that makes you sad. Asia is wonderful, but frankly, it's too far away. Family and friends can't and won't visit you often. I cannot go home for a long weekend. It's just not feasible with a 24 hour flight! If we were in Europe, all of those challenges wouldn't exist!

But I would encourage anyone to take the adventure. It's been worth it and we are enjoying our time abroad. If you have any questions, please pm me. I'd be happy to share more.

 

[Bethenny]

Yes, I would, dependent on the city and the educational opportunities for the kids.

 

[Kimberly]

Would you be willing to move to another country for a 2-3 year assignment for your spouse? You'd still keep your house in the US and pay the mortgage, but the company would pay for your accommodations in the Host city, moving expenses, incidentals, lawn maintenance, private school for your kids, etc.

I'm just curious, may be facing this very thing and was just wondering if everyone else thought it was the adventure of a lifetime or just putting your and your kids lives on "hold" for 2-3 years.

I did move, but it wasn't for my spouse. It was mostly for myself, and my own business. I sought greather growth than I would have ever had in the US, and I don't regret moving for even a second.

I would honestly sell your house, as having a US address while overseas is just more or less a liability.

Where overseas are you moving?

 

[disykat]

I voted maybe. It would depend on where and the age of the kids. Anything below high school and I'd probably say a definite yes. In high school, it might would depend on their activities etc.

We recently had an opportunity for dh to work in Japan for several years and I wasn't tied to a job. If the kids had been younger we would have done it in a heartbeat. After taking everything into consideration with the boy's school, an aging dog, parents in ill health, etc. We decided it wasn't a good time.

 

[Hillbeans]

Sorry, I should clarify it would be China.

Kids ages are 5 and 9.

It is still not definite, it's being considered but I am just not as excited as I think I should be - I work PT and while my job is nothing fancy I can't imagine moving that far away from my family and friends and everything I have here, and having the kids in 2 years of overseas schooling. I know some people would jump at the chance and never look back, but I think DH is more excited about it because he's there now on a long term assignment and really enjoys what he has been doing. My fear is that he has work and i'm going to be sort of floundering. It would most likely be a great opportunity for DH career-wise, something that may be too good to pass up.

 

[JVL1018]

I am a homebody, I have moved only once in my entire life and am happy with being that way.
That said, I would absolutely jump at the chance to move overseas for a short amount of time, 1-2 years max.
There is a vast number of places I would refuse to go though-Africa, the middle East and all of Asia would be absolutely no.
The UK and Ireland and Australia would be 100% yes. The rest of western Europe would be a maybe depending on how I felt about getting along in the native language.

 

[Drew Sailbum]

I already made the move years ago for my own reasons. No regrets.

Now looking at another move for the fiancee. Local immigration laws would make it difficult in our situation for us to be together here in Cayman. It would be a bit easier back in the States or else in some other country.

Check out options for schooling for the kids. Private schooling may be your only option, depending upon the destination.

There are tax issues to consider and all the difficulties of selling or renting out your Stateside home.

It can be a real adventure. If you decide to go, move with the intent of living as a local. Do not look at it is being a visitor for a couple years!