Work Vacation issue. WWYD?

[piccolopat]

I agree where I work literally most people don't give a crap if u need off for a certain event even your kids wedding.
This woman has been here a year and in this year has manipulated many times to be off when she needed to.
She on more than one occasion has told people she would cover for them and then in the end it's oh yea I can't or I forgot.
One of our co workers needed to leave to go to her 3 year olds program at pre school, this woman 3 weeks before said she would cover then last minute tells her something came up.

Two weeks ago my daughter had a lacrosse tryout. One time one night thing. I was working late. My boss said try and find someone first.
Said person offered to stay if I needed her to.
The day ran late , I was stuck away from everyone else . But the place knew our group was still there.
When time was getting close that I needed to leave another co worker who is 6 months pregnant called and asked me if I needed her to stay.
I said where's so and so. She's like oh she went home she figured you'd be done.
Then she has the nerve to text me and ask if we were done. I said no
She replied oh I'm sorry I'm home I thought you'd be done.
Pregnant co worker stays for me. And I covered for her last time because it was her 3 year old that was in the program.

I could go on and on not just with myself and the other co worker but others too.
So good pick up that I certainly dont hold this person in high regard.

I was not sure what I would do when I first read your post. In view of this additional information I would say if that's the only week that works for your family, take it. Your coworker may have to fly down the night before the wedding and return home the day after rather than spend a week at this undetermined destination. If she were the kind of person willing to help others out and you wanted to return the favor that would be great but it sounds like she has burned an awful lot of bridges in the year that she has been there. Let her negotiate with the boss if she has to but frankly I don't think this is your problem to worry about.

 

[mom2rtk]

I haven't been involved in picking a date for a wedding since choosing for myself over 30 years ago.

Wouldn't the daughter have considered when her mom could get away when she chose her wedding date at a location that would require a flight to get there?

 

[piccolopat]

If it is a destination wedding, calling in sick for 1 day likely won't cut it.
Neither would flying out on a red eye then back the next day. What about the rehearsal dinner and whatever other activities?

Surely the coworker would have discussed the challenges that a destination wedding would present for her since she knew full well that her low seniority meant she might not get the time off she needed for all of the activities. Perhaps her daughter should have considered a local wedding and then go to the destination for her honeymoon. If the destination wedding was within a 4 or 5 hour flight, she can still manage this over a weekend.

 

[anniemae]

I haven't been involved in picking a date for a wedding since choosing for myself over 30 years ago.

Wouldn't the daughter have considered when her mom could get away when she chose her wedding date at a location that would require a flight to get there?

It sounds like the daughter has a short window to work with since she teaches and is restricted to probably a month and a half of dates to work with. Given her mothers work place vacation process, I think any week during the summer would have been difficult for her to take off. It seems like everyone wants a week of in July or Aug, which are the only months her dd can get married.

 

[mom2rtk]

Surely the coworker would have discussed the challenges that a destination wedding would present for her since she knew full well that her low seniority meant she might not get the time off she needed for all of the activities. Perhaps her daughter should have considered a local wedding and then go to the destination for her honeymoon. If the destination wedding was within a 4 or 5 hour flight, she can still manage this over a weekend.

The more I thought about this today, the more I decided the choice to make it a destination wedding is what complicated things. No issue with destination weddings in general, but when scheduling for mom could be a problem, it seems sort of risky to just schedule it and let the chips fall where they may. The destination part of it means mom needs more than just a day or two to be there. And dumps the problem into the laps of the coworkers.

 

[mom2rtk]

It sounds like the daughter has a short window to work with since she teaches and is restricted to probably a month and a half of dates to work with. Given her mothers work place vacation process, I think any week during the summer would have been difficult for her to take off. It seems like everyone wants a week of in July or Aug, which are the only months her dd can get married.

Does she not have time off for spring break or Christmas? If not, then I think she needed to consider mom's schedule when deciding on a destination wedding.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Does she not have time off for spring break or Christmas? If not, then I think she needed to consider mom's schedule when deciding on a destination wedding.

If they are just now picking vacation dates for next year then the bride would have had to wait until now to book her venue. That can be difficult if she's been planning or engaged for a while already.

 

[mom2rtk]

If they are just now picking vacation dates for next year then the bride would have had to wait until now to book her venue. That can be difficult if she's been planning or engaged for a while already.

Then between hers and her mother's scheduling limitations, I'm back to saying the destination part of the wedding overly complicated this. If you're not clear on mom's schedule, then maybe do something she can travel to over the weekend instead of needing longer.

And I'm sure it varies a lot by district. Would they really not let a teacher take a few days off for a wedding or honeymoon? My kids have had teachers out for short times through the years for various reasons.

 

[Hrhpd]

Does she not have time off for spring break or Christmas? If not, then I think she needed to consider mom's schedule when deciding on a destination wedding.

Since Mom does not seem to have any qualms resigning from this horribly set up job, Mom's availability probably was just a minor issue when the wedding was planned over a year ago.

 

[Minnesota!]

I wouldn't take it. Even if she ends up not using it, I just think it's a petty thing to do.
Your son will get a good chunk of time off...take your vacation then, during a less popular time.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

So let me start out by saying yes it is a horrible policy
But there are trade offs

See, you are basically saying "this is how it always has been and how it has to be because this is how my job works."

And I say "how your job works is stupid."

The entire medical system is a trainwreck. Doctors and nurses who work too long and don't get adequate vacation time. Doctors working 24 - 36 hours at a stretch. Whether that's normal or not, it shouldn't be normal. It's unhealthy and unsafe and bad for society in general.

Obviously that isn't your fault. It's not even your manager's fault. Its a problem with the entire health industry.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

That being said
I handed back the vacation pick and I talked with the boss
She told me take the week
We will find a way for the MOB to go too
Problem solved
Don't know why boss couldn't have just told me this in the beginning when she knew I was thinking of taking the week

 

[focusondisney]

Glad it will work out OP. I totally understand the vacation system. I am an RN too & work in a unionized hospital which uses seniority for our schedules, holidays & vacations. It is always interesting to me how people react to seniority based systems. I personally think it's fair. Every one knows the rules. There is no favoritism or confusion about scheduling . It is what it is. Our less senior staff don't work every holiday, just don't get the ones they might prefer. And we have some protections for Christmas: you can't be made to work both Christmas Eve & Day, you must be off one of them.

First come system: ok, can I request my 2017, 2018 & 2019 picks right now? I'll take 4th of July week, Thanksgiving week & Christmas week, thank you very much.

We did have a first come system for years for certain personal days. You had to give a 14 day notice & they were granted by first requested. At midnight 14 days before Black Friday or midnight on Dec 12 the manager's phone would blow up with staff trying to "be first" to get off popular days. Then favorite staff would just tell her ahead of time: "I'm gonna request it, so I'll just tell you now so I don't have to bother you at midnight". And they would get it. Not playing by the rules, not fair.

And for those saying OP should have taken the week to "save it" & then give it to or switch with the MOB, that would not be an option where I work either. We have rules re: what happens to the week if you don't take it. If someone else wants it, it must be posted to be rebid by seniority. And you can't work for someone all week while you are on vacation because our PTO time will count & trigger overtime which management wouldn't approve.

We have had situations like this in the past too. It always works out where several part time people all pick up a day each to help out. But only for really once in a lifetime events like weddings. And the coworker's attitude really contributes to people wanting to help out. Sounds like this woman is pretty entitled & self serving. Doesn't inspire your coworkers to go out of their way to help you. Everyone has their own families & must make them the priority when push comes to shove. Doesn't matter how altruistic you say you will be, when it comes right down to it, you must put your family first.

 

[xlxo]

For holiday travelers..... watch out for August 21....

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[Poohlove]

It depends on where you live. My kids are grown and no longer in the school system, but where I lived no work was given out ahead of time and it was up to the teacher whether or not they wanted to give/accept make-up work. If the teacher didn't want to do it the student gets zeros on everything missed. To compound the problem we were on block scheduling so taking a week's vacation was equivalent to missing two weeks worth of material, and the teacher was not under any requirement to make sure that the child received the instruction. There's no way I would have taken one of my children out of school for a week's vacation.

In addition to the makeup work, I know that my son (just graduated in June) had senior activities pretty much from March on. Aside from the fact that he played baseball so he would have missed at least 2 games from taking a Monday through Friday off from school there was his senior trip, baseball tournaments, prom, senior banquet, all sports banquet, etc.

 

[okeydokey]

If she can't get the time off, do not be surprised when she quits right before the wedding. That is what I would do.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

See, you are basically saying "this is how it always has been and how it has to be because this is how my job works."

And I say "how your job works is stupid."

The entire medical system is a trainwreck. Doctors and nurses who work too long and don't get adequate vacation time. Doctors working 24 - 36 hours at a stretch. Whether that's normal or not, it shouldn't be normal. It's unhealthy and unsafe and bad for society in general.

Obviously that isn't your fault. It's not even your manager's fault. Its a problem with the entire health industry.

It's only stupid until you show up at the ER with your sick relative, and it's not taking any more patients because there aren't enough staff on to care for them.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

It's only stupid until you show up at the ER with your sick relative, and it's not taking any more patients because there aren't enough staff on to care for them.

Maybe I should be more blatant in my opinion: There should be more staff.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Glad it will work out OP. I totally understand the vacation system. I am an RN too & work in a unionized hospital which uses seniority for our schedules, holidays & vacations. It is always interesting to me how people react to seniority based systems. I personally think it's fair. Every one knows the rules. There is no favoritism or confusion about scheduling . It is what it is. Our less senior staff don't work every holiday, just don't get the ones they might prefer. And we have some protections for Christmas: you can't be made to work both Christmas Eve & Day, you must be off one of them.

First come system: ok, can I request my 2017, 2018 & 2019 picks right now? I'll take 4th of July week, Thanksgiving week & Christmas week, thank you very much.

We did have a first come system for years for certain personal days. You had to give a 14 day notice & they were granted by first requested. At midnight 14 days before Black Friday or midnight on Dec 12 the manager's phone would blow up with staff trying to "be first" to get off popular days. Then favorite staff would just tell her ahead of time: "I'm gonna request it, so I'll just tell you now so I don't have to bother you at midnight". And they would get it. Not playing by the rules, not fair.

And for those saying OP should have taken the week to "save it" & then give it to or switch with the MOB, that would not be an option where I work either. We have rules re: what happens to the week if you don't take it. If someone else wants it, it must be posted to be rebid by seniority. And you can't work for someone all week while you are on vacation because our PTO time will count & trigger overtime which management wouldn't approve.

We have had situations like this in the past too. It always works out where several part time people all pick up a day each to help out. But only for really once in a lifetime events like weddings. And the coworker's attitude really contributes to people wanting to help out. Sounds like this woman is pretty entitled & self serving. Doesn't inspire your coworkers to go out of their way to help you. Everyone has their own families & must make them the priority when push comes to shove. Doesn't matter how altruistic you say you will be, when it comes right down to it, you must put your family first.

Exactly, especially to the bolded.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Maybe I should be more blatant in my opinion: There should be more staff.

It doesn't necessarily work that way. There has to be the right number of staff - not too few, and not too many. There is a little leeway either way, but you don't want to close beds, shut down ORs or turn people away because of too few staff, nor do you want too many people on, sitting around twiddling their thumbs with nothing to do, which is what can happen when there are too many. And don't get me wrong, we love having extra staff! But we also all know that costs are a big part of operations, and have to be looked at constantly. These types of issues have been debated, some even legistatively, for a long time. Bottom line is that managers and administrators are responsible and accountable for always having the right number of staff, and how they've had to do that involves a lot of these types of "rules". As pp's mentioned, there are trade offs. I agree that it's not healthy to have a very rigid schedule all the time with no say in what happens to you, especially when you're dealing with profound illness and even life and death situations regularly, but that's not the case, really, at least for most staff. People often have many days off built into their schedules, as well as vacation and holiday time (that just has to be planned out well), as well as other opportunities like education and stress reduction, etc. If it was truly awful, you wouldn't have so many employees who stay for so long. You mentioned doctors working extra long shifts. No doubt, they do put in some long hours, especially early in their careers. But they've also come up with ways for them to get rest and sleep, such as schedules where people come in to cover for them overnight and call schedules that build in some time off.