Women & Children Seated First?

[TavieP]

It's just easier to stand than end up squished by someone who thinks their Pooh-sized butt will fit in a space where a Roo-sized butt would be hard-pressed to fit.

It's not just the Pooh-sized butts who do this. Just pointing out - a lot of us Pooh-sized will get a dirty look for sitting *even if we go there first and there's nobody sitting around us*.

My policy is, if I get there first and there's enough room, I'm entitled to the seat (until I see someone who needs it more than me.) If my butt takes up more than one of the "seat markings", tough; public transport is a guarantee of transportation, not of a seat, and Pooh-sized people have just as much right to sit as anyone else.

That said, if I see a seat that my butt clearly won't fit in, I'm certainly not going to try to squeeze myself in. That would be just as uncomfortable for me as the people already sitting. And most Pooh-sized people I know feel the same way. I can't speak for all, but I just want to make sure that people understand that it's tough for us on public transportation, too. Try getting dirty looks just for stepping into a subway car. It's not fun.

 

[marinejjh]

It's not just the Pooh-sized butts who do this. Just pointing out - a lot of us Pooh-sized will get a dirty look for sitting *even if we go there first and there's nobody sitting around us*.

My policy is, if I get there first and there's enough room, I'm entitled to the seat (until I see someone who needs it more than me.) If my butt takes up more than one of the "seat markings", tough; public transport is a guarantee of transportation, not of a seat, and Pooh-sized people have just as much right to sit as anyone else.

That said, if I see a seat that my butt clearly won't fit in, I'm certainly not going to try to squeeze myself in. That would be just as uncomfortable for me as the people already sitting. And most Pooh-sized people I know feel the same way. I can't speak for all, but I just want to make sure that people understand that it's tough for us on public transportation, too. Try getting dirty looks just for stepping into a subway car. It's not fun.

I remember when my wife worked far an airline and people would buy 2 seats because of there size. I understand a healthy figure, but if I had to sit next to a morbidly obese person on a plane and they were all in my space I would probably get an attendant and move. Not being mean but you don't want people all in your space either. On a bus I would probably just stand if there wasn't room.

 

[TavieP]

I remember when my wife worked far an airline and people would buy 2 seats because of there size. I understand a healthy figure, but if I had to sit next to a morbidly obese person on a plane and they were all in my space I would probably get an attendant and move. Not being mean but you don't want people all in your space either. On a bus I would probably just stand if there wasn't room.

As a larger person who has been fortunate enough never to need an extra airline seat, believe me, I don't want to sit next to the person shooting me a dirty look, either. Please, by all means, if you see me coming, ask for another seat somewhere else so I don't have to sit next to you.

edited to add: Apologies for getting off-topic.

 

[Boopuff]

What grinds my gears is the debate that children should sit! How about putting the kid on a lap and giving the seat to an adult!! I would always hold my kids on my lap - a family of 4 can use 2 seats that way. If Disney transportation is a look at our society, then we are in a sad sad sate of mannerless me-firsters. I think the OP had an encounter with an old-fashioned man who made a poor attempt trying to enforce manners.

 

[marinejjh]

As a larger person who has been fortunate enough never to need an extra airline seat, believe me, I don't want to sit next to the person shooting me a dirty look, either. Please, by all means, if you see me coming, ask for another seat somewhere else so I don't have to sit next to you.

edited to add: Apologies for getting off-topic.

Larger and obsee are 2 different. We are talking Over 450lbs. I work as a firefighter and we have a guy that is 350, but he is 6'8"and musculer. Sorry if it offended,didn't mean to come across that way. I look at it from a safety perspective.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

No it should not be policy. But it is polite.

My DS15 has been raised to offer his seat to anyone he feels may need it more than he does. If he doesn't he will get a earful from me once off the bus and the dirty stink eye while on the bus. The stink eye usually gets him moving.

My boyfriend will also offer his seat. He was raised really "old school." His parents are older and weren't born in this country.

I hold DD9 on my lap on a crowded bus.

For US it has nothing to do with pregnant women, women holding children or an elderly person being "weak." It's about being polite and thinking about how you would want to be treated in the same situation.

There was once that I was holding DD's stroller and carrying her while standing on the bus. A nice person offered me their seat. I was reluctant but I accepted. So we pay it forward.

 

[luvmy2babies]

As a solo parent one of my traveling mantras is “If someone offers help, great; but prepare as if no one will” and the same goes for getting on those busses at any point; but especially at the end of the day. Depending on how I felt about the possibility of standing on the ride back I make the decision as to whether we will get on the bus or wait. It’s not always the same decision, which can be frustrating to my older child; but I’m not going to get on a crowded bus holding my sleeping child then get mad when no seat is offered.


The one time I did get upset was when there was a seat I planned to have my daughter sit in and hold her brother while I stood and a man used the space for his stroller and refused to move it.

 

[srferson]

For those who are adamant that it is a sign of respect and nothing more... That's just fine. I believe you and I am not personally offended, because I understand the intent.

That said, the reason men see it as a sign of respect is because that's what they were taught. It's a societal construct. And frankly, it's a societal construct that is not logical in this day and age.

Please do be proud of your husbands and teach your children. But teach them to hold the door for anyone. Teach them to give up their seat to anyone who seems to need it or want it more.

Personally, I think it's time for "chivalry" toward women to die and for common courtesy to take its place.

 

[MainMom]

So, does he respect men? Does he offer his seat to a man for no other reason?

Or does he respect women even more than men? And if so, why? I haven't given birth. So why offer me a seat when the man standing next to me may be a firefighter or a soldier?

Respecting or not respecting someone based solely on their gender does not make sense to me. I'm sorry if that makes you feel like I think badly of your husband. I have no reason to think he is anything but an intelligent, nice, respectful man. That doesn't change the fact that I don't think 'because I respect women' is any more of a logical answer than 'I think women are weaker.'

Of course he does. Actually, he usually stands unless we get on an empty bus with plenty of seats. Then, when people start filing to the back to fill in space he will stand and let anyone else take his seat. 99% of the time the seat is taken by a woman or child, the men in their party making sure they are the ones to sit.

I have not battled cancer like my MIL. I was pointing out things specific to me. Maybe you have gone through things I have not. The point was that my DH is not offering a seat because he thinks women are gentler or weak, which is what you clearly think men are doing. I tend to give men the benefit of the doubt because I have a hard time believing that a man who thinks so little of a woman or women in general would bother to give up their seat for them. And really who cares why they are doing it? Do YOU think you are the weaker sex? I sure don't. If it strokes a mans ego to give me his seat well fine. No skin off of my back.

 

[srferson]

Of course he does. Actually, he usually stands unless we get on an empty bus with plenty of seats. Then, when people start filing to the back to fill in space he will stand and let anyone else take his seat. 99% of the time the seat is taken by a woman or child, the men in their part making sure they are the ones to sit.

Okay. So he gives up his seat to people, not specifically women. If so, he doesn't fall into the group of men I am even talking about.

I have not battled cancer like my MIL. I was pointing out things specific to me. Maybe you have gone through things I have not. The point was that my DH is not offering a seat because he thinks women are gentler or weak, which is what you clearly think men are doing. I tend to give men the benefit of the doubt because I have a hard time believing that a man who thinks so little of a woman or women in general would bother to give up their seat for them. And really who cares why they are doing it? Do YOU think you are the weaker sex? I sure don't. If it strokes a mans ego to give me his seat well fine. No skin off of my back.

As I said in my earlier post, I think that it's either what they are doing or (far more commonly) they are doing it because they were taught to do so and not for any other logical reason that I can see.
Again, if he gives up his seat to anyone and doesn't focus on women over men, then he doesn't even fall into the group I am talking about. He's just polite. And that is great. Full stop.
But a man can be polite and he can be great and he can still be acting in a manner that treats women differently from men for no reason other than "because that's how it's done."

 

[Dug720]

It's not just the Pooh-sized butts who do this. Just pointing out - a lot of us Pooh-sized will get a dirty look for sitting *even if we go there first and there's nobody sitting around us*.

My policy is, if I get there first and there's enough room, I'm entitled to the seat (until I see someone who needs it more than me.) If my butt takes up more than one of the "seat markings", tough; public transport is a guarantee of transportation, not of a seat, and Pooh-sized people have just as much right to sit as anyone else.

That said, if I see a seat that my butt clearly won't fit in, I'm certainly not going to try to squeeze myself in. That would be just as uncomfortable for me as the people already sitting. And most Pooh-sized people I know feel the same way. I can't speak for all, but I just want to make sure that people understand that it's tough for us on public transportation, too. Try getting dirty looks just for stepping into a subway car. It's not fun.

I am not tiny but no longer pooh-sized, so I get it.

I seem to be a magnet for people who think they can fit in a tiny space, so it's to the point where if I am sitting (which would be because my leg or foot hurts from running or Taekwondo) and I see someone eye a space I know is not big enough I automatically get up. Better that than be squished.

 

[mylittlebuttercup]

No problem with that...but if a dad, or any other person, decides they 'have' to stand there, with stroller, in front of his family, and blocking off access to the area behind them? Yes, there's a problem with that. And those are the people I'm talking about. At the busy times of day, opening and closing, there always seems to be 'that' family....kid in the stroller until they get to the bus door, then hold up those behind them while they remove the child, empty the stroller of all the bags and such, fold it up and then get on the bus. Then, dad stands, with the stroller, in front of mom and the kids, and when the driver asks people to move to the back of the bus, he doesn't move. Which tends to block the aisle since others with strollers can't get by....then you end up with an empty space, that others could have filled, but are now left at the bus stop, waiting for the next bus.

Well, keeping the whole stroller blocking the aisle is just inconsiderate. Many can fold up small enough to fit partially under the seat or go flush against the person sitting. If a parent has kept the stroller out of the way and wants to stand next his or her family, I don't see the problem.

 

[mylittlebuttercup]

Larger and obsee are 2 different. We are talking Over 450lbs. I work as a firefighter and we have a guy that is 350, but he is 6'8"and musculer. Sorry if it offended,didn't mean to come across that way. I look at it from a safety perspective.

350 and 6'8" is still going to make you uncomfortable sitting next to them. It is considered obese. And I am not saying that to be offensive, as I am pooh-sized myself, although smaller than those specs. But airplane seats are rather small and anyone who is outside the societal norm--whether too tall, too overweight, too wide of a butt, etc. risks encroaching on their neighbors. One of the reasons I am glad I can usually just sit next to my husband, who doesn't care if I take an extra half-inch of space.

 

[georgina]

For those who are adamant that it is a sign of respect and nothing more... That's just fine. I believe you and I am not personally offended, because I understand the intent.

That said, the reason men see it as a sign of respect is because that's what they were taught. It's a societal construct. And frankly, it's a societal construct that is not logical in this day and age.

Please do be proud of your husbands and teach your children. But teach them to hold the door for anyone. Teach them to give up their seat to anyone who seems to need it or want it more.

Personally, I think it's time for "chivalry" toward women to die and for common courtesy to take its place.

I'm with you! I will give up my seat to whoever may need it more, and dislike someone thinking simply because I am female that I need to sit more than they do. I'm not into stroking any male's ego.

 

[broncobill]

Can I ask you why? I'm just curious. Is there a reason your wife and dd need you close by? If several guys do that, then the aisle gets clogged, and people are less inclined to move back, to where there is actually space. Not being argumentative, just genuinely curious.

Not that my wife and daughter need me by them. If I'm standing I would rather be standing next to them then some one else. If the bus is crowded enough for me to stand, then that means I will be standing in some one's personal space. When we enter a bus, we head to the back as far as we can. I guess it's just the way I was raised. Just because some of us men were raised to be polite does not mean we think women are weaker. I said my daughter would give up her seat also. Not because I would tell her to, just because she is polite. If I get to the door first, I hold it open for any one, man, woman, child...My daughter does this also. Being polite and nice to people is dying in this country. Just because some one is polite and nice to some one does not mean we think they are weaker, or that we have ulterior motives. When my daughter was around 10 or so, she asked me why I say hi to so many people I do not know. I told her if every one did that, it would be a nicer place to live.

 

[goofy4tink]

Not that my wife and daughter need me by them. If I'm standing I would rather be standing next to them then some one else. If the bus is crowded enough for me to stand, then that means I will be standing in some one's personal space. When we enter a bus, we head to the back as far as we can. I guess it's just the way I was raised. Just because some of us men were raised to be polite does not mean we think women are weaker. I said my daughter would give up her seat also. Not because I would tell her to, just because she is polite. If I get to the door first, I hold it open for any one, man, woman, child...My daughter does this also. Being polite and nice to people is dying in this country. Just because some one is polite and nice to some one does not mean we think they are weaker, or that we have ulterior motives. When my daughter was around 10 or so, she asked me why I say hi to so many people I do not know. I told her if every one did that, it would be a nicer place to live.

Thanks! I have no issue at all if families head to the back in order to stay together!! It's when mom and the kids get seats toward the front, and dad stops, in front of them, huge stroller at his side. Yes, it's folded up, but it's still huge, and blocking part of the aisle. So pretty soon, other guests can't get by.
You're doing it in a manner that most would find very polite. Thanks!

 

[broncobill]

No stroller, my daughter will be turning 16 when we go to Disney next month. But even when she was very young and we were in Disney, I never brought a stroller. I also just rented one at the parks instead. The few bucks I spent on the rental far out weighed the hassle of lugging it around.
The first time we went to Disney, my daughter was 4 and the parks were very busy. When we were on the bus, most of the time my wife sat with our daughter on her lap and I stood.

 

[goofy4tink]

I never had to use the dread stroller at WDW....my now almost 22 y/o dd turned 6 when we first visited. Thankfully, she was very tall for her age and had no problems walking around!! And she learned to sit on my lap if the bus was crowded...or get up and stand.

I've seen lots of very well mannered stroller wielding parents. But, I've also seen those parents who thought they could board the bus with the stroller unfolded, child in it, or those that felt it was okay to board through the back doors. Or those that figured it was okay to put the huge double stroller up on the seats. One dad was even overheard to remark that 'this way, people won't keep banging into it'!!! Or the parents that feel that each and every one of the members of their family needs to sit.....every one of the 5 kids, not one on a parental lap. Or the parents that think it's okay to allow their kids to stand up on the seats, or to keep darting across the bus to be with the other parent. Oh, the list goes on. Sadly, it's the less well mannered families that we all remember!!! Most are just fine.

 

[DisneyBabies]

Yeah, I agree that guest was out of line. And no, I don't think this should be policy.

DH and I always stand on the buses when it is just the two of us.

When we took the kids for their trips, someone offered me a seat each and every time without fail. And we were beyond grateful. But I would have stood while holding DS or DD if no one had offered; that's the choice I made when getting on a full bus.

When we take the big kids in September, we will all stand on the buses.

It's simply how we do things, and others aren't required to do the same.

 

[cranbiz]

I've seen lots of very well mannered stroller wielding parents. But, I've also seen those parents who thought they could board the bus with the stroller unfolded, child in it, or those that felt it was okay to board through the back doors. Or those that figured it was okay to put the huge double stroller up on the seats. One dad was even overheard to remark that 'this way, people won't keep banging into it'!!!

That was the one thing that really got to me. I had many "discussions" with those parents who refused to fold the stroller and remove their child. One woman that I still remember to this day was a guest at SSR and had a monstrous stroller and a sleeping child. She insisted that she could board the bus as is and through the front door. After telling her at least 5 times that the stroller needed to be folded (one of those times might have been slightly unDisney although at the time my response to her of "you can leave your child in or you can remove your child but your stroller must be folded to ride the bus" was spoken nicely), she insisted on complaining to a manager. Manager showed up, listened to her rant, asked me if she was informed of the rules, I said yes, the line said yes and he told her that if she wished to ride this bus the stroller must be folded.

You also may have been on my bus if the driver announced "if you can see the floor, there is room for more" when it was really busy.

For those who say we were doing illegal loads, the standard Disney Transport bus is rated at 72 guests. I will neither confirm or deny loading more guests than that at any given time.