Total driveby...
I'm wired!!!!!
Thursday, Spinal Cord Stimulator "test drive" implantation:
They planned on implanting two leads (one for left side, one right) in a two hour period. After FIVE hours we all decided one lead, not quite positioned correctly would do for the test. When I say "we" I was worked on by two doctors, one nurse and the Medtronics Rep navigated much of the process. In addition, there were approximately 10 other doctors who came to watch. I was face down, awake with just lanicane at the incicision points. That means, I was listening to them and feeling the wire as they pushed up, tugged down, "fiddled", twisted, prodded in my SPINE. I told them they discovered a new form of torture. It was absolutely GRUELLING.
It turns out, my spine (SURPRISE SURPRISE) is odd. Me? odd? Instead of a straight shot up the epidural canal, they had to navigate several "speed bumps" as it was explained to me. I kept hearing them say "spinal pro-SEE-sis"-- any medical people know what those are? After about four hours we started the testing phase. That is when they hook up the lead (wire) in my spine to a stimulator and put current to the various leads. I believe there are 7 leads on the wire (think little pins jutting out the side of the wire). Over and over and over it stimulated the front of my legs (quads) and inner thighs. After trying, they would move the wire some more and try again. But the area that needs to be stimulated is my hamstrings, glutes and outside of calves. They were never able to get the wires "lateral" enough to achieve the right spots. But they got it close enough for a trial. BTW, I was being radiated nearly the entire time. They used snap shot xrays and live fluoroscopy for most of that 5 hour period.
Meanwhile, out in the waiting room sat my Mom and no one updated her on what's going on. Imagine, I'm having a wire snaked through my spine, it takes more than 3 hours over the planned operation and no one went out and told her I was alright. She finally heard someone complain about waiting too long for the doctor and the receptionist said, "I'm sorry, but there's been a patient with complications..." My mother nearly died.
OK, the SCS: The sensation is like hitting your funny bone, or having your reflexes hit by that rubber hammer. It also feels like electricity and vibration. I can crank it up so high I can't fully control my legs and I walk around like the alien wearing the Aire suit in MIB (remember when the alien put on the human skin and tried to look human?). I've been amusing myself with this for the past couple of days

It's also very much like Captain Sparrow (aka Keith Richards) walk.
Anyhoo, even though they weren't able to get the right pain area coverage, this has been an extremely postive experience and I am going to have the real one implanted. My hope is that they will spend the extra time and be ab le to get the right area and the other lead in for real. It's a bit scarey though, because it will take 4-6 weeks for scar tissue to hold the leads in place. That means I can't bend, stretch, lift, twist or RUN for 4-6 weeks. I've noticed the temporary lead has moved just over the past two days
But guess what? At this point, after 1+ year of chronic pain, I'm ready to give up running for as long as it takes to make this work. It's far from being normal, but it's very close to being pain free.
As for the actual hardware; the wire comes out of my back and is taped there. There is a little interface box that the wire connects to and out the other end is a gray cable about the thicknes of an electrical cord. It connects to a box about the size of a mouse that houses the stimulator and batteries. That clips to my waistband. There is a remote that controls the amplitude (intensity) and frequency. To operated it, I hold it up against the mouse-sized box. I can make it very slow and feel tap-like pulses or very fast and have a steady "jolt". I got a real jolt walking through an anti-theft device at BJs! The real device will have the wires snake around to my abdomen to a smaller box that will be implanted in the ab all inside my body. I will then hold the remote upto that spot to adjust it.
I am not looking forward to having two wires snaked through my spine. But at least the doctors now know my "narly" anatomy and should be able to navigate a little better next time. I have to be awake without any numbing in the spine in order for me to tell what nerves it is stimulating. Oh what fun!
Sorry for the novel...
Sunny