With Kids or Without??

[MiniGirl]

Sorry if this gets long!


We have a trip planned for Sept 16-Sept 22, for free dining with 2 rooms at Pop. The kids do not know about the trip yet. It began as a joke about leaving our 4 kids behind and just going alone. We've started an email pro/con list back and forth and are still undecided. We've asked friends and family, and are getting mixed reviews, so I thought I would ask here.

DH and I work opposite shifts, and he works every other weekend, so one of us is always home with the kids, but we never see each other, hence the reason for maybe going minus kids. We've only been on a rare weekend trip alone here and there since we got married, but never a big vacation alone. We were just at Disney last October for 9 days and realize how much we missed by having the kids with us. We were on their schedule, the trip revolved completely around them (as is should have) we ate at restaurants catering to them, we didn't get to enjoy Epcot at all, and we didn't get to ride any rides together. We also spent a lot of time apart, DH with our older 2 boys on rides, me at kiddie shows and tamer rides with the younger 2. Not to mention, we'd have to pull DS14 out of high school for a week. (DS11 is homeschooled)

However, we had a beautiful time with our family. I didn't get any family vacations when growing up, so it's important for me to take our family places, even if it is budget trips. (if we do go alone, we'll plan a shorter, cheaper trip someplace close to home with kids) Our oldest is 14, so who knows how many more times he'll want to go to Disney (hopefully forever!) This is the last time our youngest will be free. Our ADR's are already made for the 6 of us (but could be tweaked for 2). It's a little hard to convince grandparents to watch the kids while we're gone (although they'll do it) We asked the kids if they minded if we went on vacation alone, and the 11 year old said "as long as you don't go to Disney without us!" Financially, we can't afford a trip to WDW with the kids, and then a smaller trip somewhere for just DH & I, but if we leave the kids behind, the money we would save would allow us the trip to WDW, and a smaller trip (or even 2) someplace closer to home.


What would you do? Would you go alone, or take the kids with you?

Man, this is a tough call. I honestly don't know what I'd do since ya'll don't have another trip planned either before or after that one. However, I'm leaning toward to adults only trip. Time alone with your sweetie is the most important thing in a marriage. Granted you don't have to go away to do that, but it sounds like you aren't getting any time alone at home. Truth is it sounds like you didn't have that much time to yourselves (or even together) on your last trip either.

I don't understand the feelings of guilt some parents say they would have. Also, many adults who have gone without their kids tell me their kids had a blast with the grandparents or where ever they stayed. I know my girls love going to WDW but also love when they can stay up late with a sitter when dh and I go alone.

Okay, if it were me, this is what I'd do. I would leave the kids at home for the first few days and have grandma (or whomever) put them on a plane a few days later. You can meet them at the airport and then enjoy the rest of the vacation as a family. Even if it is just 1 or 2 nights to yourselves, it would be great, and your kids would still have quite a bit of time to enjoy the parks, too. Of course, if ya'll were driving, this may not work.

 

[klj27]

Take the kids. You will have much more time for trips to Disney alone (or with the grandkids) in future years.

Just because the kids are with you doesn't mean you have to follow their schedule. We always tell our kids that it is our vacation and we are just bringing them along. We plan the days in the parks and give them plenty of time to swim. Before we leave every family member gets to pick the one thing they want to do (a ride, mini golf, rent a boat, etc.) and we make sure we do all those things. After that it is up to us.

 

[honeybee30]

Go alone. Couple time is very important, and WDW can be fabulous without kids in tow. Very magical and romantic!

 

[NikiM20]

go alone, DH and I have NEVER been on vacation alone. On our honeymoon we had DD with us We are going as a family in July and just DH and I in August. I am looking forward to the time to reconnect with him

 

[stitch and co]

We also took a long weekend trip for our 10th anniversary, did KTTK tour and the Food & Wine Festival w/out the kiddos. While it was fun, we sure did miss them, the smiles and the looks of ahh and wonder. I think DH missed them more than I did, he would come up with the the remember last time ..... or this is DD #3's favorite ride(or character). He swore he would never go again without them.

So I voted to take the kids, make the memories while you can, they grow up way too fast anymore.

 

[mexican-mouseketeers]

I would take the kids.

If you had another trip planned in a few months after this trip I might leave them, but I bet they got hooked on Disney the time we were there before.

I think PP idea of maybe cutting the trip short, even by one day, might give you enough $ for a weekend trip for you and DH (even if you are at Pop I think you have 2 rooms, so if you stay one night less, you still have the $ for 2 nights in a hotel closer to your home).

 

[THERESA522]

I too have been feeling the guilt of planning a WDW vacation without the kids. We just returned from a trip in May with the kids & dh & I have decided to go back again ALONE for Labor Day weekend. We've been weighing all the pros & cons and have decided that we need the time together and we're not telling the kids where we're going. Mine are young (4 & 3) and just wouldn't understand what "alone" time is. Otherwise, if they were old enough, we wouldn't hide it from them.

If you really don't spend much time together, I think it's a great idea to go alone!

 

[d4est]

I couldn't go and enjoy myself without my son. Maybe the first day. I would be sad after that.

 

[princesskaelybear]

Go without the kids! As many have mentioned, you need time to reconnect with your DH. However, I'm slightly biased since we are leaving next week for our adult only anniversary trip to WDW. We have taken our kids (5 & 8 yrs old) twice to WDW in the past 3 years and have yet to completely enjoy Epcot as well as all of the hidden treasures at each of the parks. We thought we would feel guilty, but the kids are going on vacation with their grandparents the same week we are gone and the kids *know* that we are going to WDW. This will be the third "honeymoon" we have taken without the kids in the 10 years we have been married. I know that we have plenty of time to experience WDW or other vacation locations as a couple but we need to make sure we have a healthly relationship now - while our kids are young. We've learned that these trips without the kids gives us the time we need to focus on our marriage and each other. We always come back refreshed and with a stronger relationship with each other which reflects on the kids.

 

[KarenP99]

Take the kids...

Like you, my husband and I do the opposite shifts. So we both get tons of time with the kids, but our kids don't get tons of full family time. Any opportunity to have all of us together is a gift.

That being said, I have zero objections to a couple-time weekend. I just think Disney is a bad place to do that (especially when you know it would upset your son).

Good luck!

 

[lunapnp]

I definitely think you should take a trip without the kids! My husband and I went on a cruise last summer without our daughters. My youngest, 7, reminds me that she doesn't want me gone that long again (6 days), but I would do it again! I can't imagine waiting until my kids were in college before I took a trip without them. My husband and I try to take long weekends at least twice a year. We are so busy with our jobs and the girls that we have a hard time finding alone time. I truly believe that many couples today drift apart due to work commitments, school work with kids, extracurricular activities, etc. It's important for the well-being of your marriage to take alone time. That said, we are taking DDs to DW in October and my husband and I will probably be going back for our anniversary in November! My DDs would be upset that we are going without them...but my husband and I work very hard and I think we deserve a retreat. I can understand feeling guilty, but that usually doesn't last too long for me! I don't usually feel guilt...I just start missing my kids. But, another way to look at it is to think of how much more ground you could cover at DW without kids so that you could probably see everything you want to in less time so maybe you wouldn't need quite as long of a trip as with the kiddos!

Go and enjoy yourself!

 

[ssjerauld]

I think you should take this wonderful opportunity to spend some quality time with your husband in a place you both enjoy. You will still get to have a couple of shorter vacation trips with all of the kids, so they won't be missing out on a family vacation. Go--ride rides WITH your husband, hold hands, enjoy some romantic meals, kiss underneath the fireworks (discreetly, of course); I have found that much too often "we'll do that later" never comes.

 

[Maukey]

Go Alone!!! I went to Disney for the first time with my wife alone in 2005, and it was the BEST vacation I've ever had. Disney is great with the kids, but without them, you can experience parts of Disney you can't with the kids (Pleasure Island ). It's also nice to be able to enjoy other marital benefits as well .

I say 100%, go with the husband. It will be magical in a way that it hasn't been before. Just make sure you research things to do at Disney for adults.

 

[wildviper]

What would you do? Would you go alone, or take the kids with you?

Close your eyes.

You are riding on the ferry boat to MK. As the ferry gets closer your excitement grows. Brimming with excitement you walk accross the ferryboat landing under the monorail onto the brick walkway. Without looking down you know there are names frozen in time in the legacy bricks. After entering through the security gate, you continue walking past the "Mickey" flowers that welcome all, finally you emerge from the tunnel under the WDW Raliroad and gaze upon Main Street U.S.A. which is filled with onlookers, both first timers and veteran visitors, who now stare in wonder at the single most enchanting monument dedicated to dreams coming true: Cinderella's Castle.

Now open your eyes. Who was with you?

 

[ShirleyH]

My husband and I like to try and have a holiday alone once a year for a week because its nice to have time together doing things that the kids would just moan about however we normally go somewhere where the kids wouldn't want to go because they would think it was boring (we usually go to a hotel which caters more for adults somewhere in Europe). I don't think I could go to Disney without them. I would feel too guilty.

 

[dhcoffey]

I say go without your kids this time. My husband and I try to go at least once every couple of years without our two, 14 and 9, girls. They understand that we do this and know that we'll go back with them, too. Mom and Dad need some time also.

Heather

 

[carmiedog]

Take the kids....you may be lacking couple time right now because you and dh work opposite shifts, but that means you are lacking family time as well, and the kids would appreciate it.

agree 100%

also, my 2yo dd is in my lap right now and I would never leave one that young for that long. Not even if I won a free trip. My 5yo, either. If dh and I do WDW by ourselves (and believe me, we want to!) it won't be until our kids are a little older.

are you close enough where the grandparents can take the kids for just overnighters?

 

[Rayner]

Go with the kids. You'll have plenty of years to take vacations with just your husband once your kids are gone, but only a few chances to make memories with your kids. I say take the kids and get a sitter for a night so you can have a date with your husband.

My kids are 19, 22 & 24. I just went to Disney for the first time with my partner and without my kids. With all due respect to people who say you will have plenty of time later to go alone with your husband, no one can guarantee that. I now have an incurable cancer and do not have all the time in the world with my partner. We are trying to do as many of the things we want to do together as we can but there is no guarantee on time after the kids grow. Do not neglect your relationship with your spouse now for the promise of time later. You can divide your time between your children and your spouse so there are no regrets later. Family time is wonderful but so is time alone with spouse.

 

[mrsltg]

Hubby and I have gone without kids 3 times. Each has been wonderful! Yes, we missed the kids but we loved the time we had together. We've also done lots of trips with the kids. I say go on your own and bring the kids next time.

 

[mrsmom]

Go and enjoy yourselves! We left our four kids a couple years ago and believe me, you come back a better parent after a little break.
Kim