Wish me luck -updated..sort of resolved

[tw1nsmom]

Today I have to go to DS's annual review CSE (committee on special education). It isn't going to be a fun one. Last week, one of his teachers decided to tell him he was a cheater and she was disappointed in him because he was taking extra time and fixing his handwriting on times math facts tests.

The problem? He isn't supposed to have timed tests. He gets extra time, alternative location, and handwriting clarified on all tests per his IEP. She also knew he was currently in treatment for anxiety and his greatest fear is appearing different and/or disappointing his parents/teachers.

He had multiple meltdowns over the weekend that included him calling himself a cheater, bad and hitting himself. He now refuses to use his computer at school or take extra time because he doesn't want to be a cheater.

If you see a big dust cloud from the direction of upstate NY this afternoon, it will be my head exploding!

 

[laurie31]

 

[RadioFanatic]

Lots of hugs and good luck mom - you go get 'em!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Oh, my! I would be livid.

Good luck!

 

[Becky2005]

Good Luck!!! I have my share of those meetings.

 

[mom2travel]

Good luck!

 

[Brit17]

... Good Luck ! ...

 

[daughtersrus]

Wishing you the best. I would definitely bring up what was said to your DS and how it's impacted him at the meeting!

I've had my share of these type of meeting with my youngest DD. Funny how things change once they know that you know what your rights are. Things have even gotten a bit better for me now that they know that my oldest DD is a SpEd teacher.

 

[parrothead365]

good luck

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Been there, done that and, oh boy, can I sympathize with you! Good luck at your meeting and don't be afraid to do whatever you have to do for your child. It's totally worth it!

 

[Maryr1]

I feel your pain!!!! One of my daughters special ed people called me to talk about her reading and the Wilson program...........ummmmmmm-my daughter isn't a Wilson student. Never has been. No wonder her progress is "slow".....yes, I know you only see her once a week, but it is March.....and while I agree that Mondays aren't all that great for you, seeing her in the hallway and asking her about her weekend really doesn't count as a session.........it's spring-IEP's are right around the corner for us too. I can't wait..................

 

[MnMomtoboys]

I hope her head is rolling now. I can't believe how people can do this.

We had ours today too. It went ok expect on one of their outings they tested the kids and all but one of kids went with the stranger. It just shocked us since our son is so careful about staying with us. It will now be a part of his IEP that they will work on. And something we will now work on with him at home.

Don't give up. This teacher needs to learn how wrong she was. If you can it helps to video tape one of the meltdowns so they can see what goes on at home.

 

[tw1nsmom]

Well, it's kinda, sorta over....for now. We had to table most of the issues in the IEP since the school psychologist is out on medical leave. The teacher in question didn't have the guts to show up. Actually, the principal told her it would be better not to come. Because she provides him with math instruction and reading remediation those areas had to be tabled as well. The CSE chair tried to say that extended time didn't apply to timed math tests. I told them that that wasn't true or acceptable.

I'm so sick of all of it. The vast majority of teachers are fantastic and at minimum well intentioned. It only takes one or two pathetic administrators and one or two crappy teachers to really screw a kid up though. The principal admitted that the teacher handled things badly but she also said she was upset with me for "coming on strong" and writing an email summarizing my feelings and sending it to the team and district administrators. I told her that I couldn't even begin to understand that attitude. That we run a business and if we mess up we will definitely have a client on the phone and in email giving us an earfull. It is then our responsibility to admit whatever mistakes we're responsible for and to try to fix it. She tried to pull the line that we at least could fire a client but teachers can't. I told her that was bull. When we fire clients, we don't get paid. Nobody likes being told they messed up, but grown-ups and professionals admit and fix their mistakes.

 

[a1tinkfans]

OP: I hear your pain and I agree with the fact that any educator be that teacher, nurse or hall monitor at school, have a HUGE impact on our kids and can truly cause undue heartache for all involved. What that teacher did is unacceptable and uncalled for and if accurate (I have no doubt it is) , deserves to be questioned and reminded of Your childs rights and Her duties as a teacher to Your child! Only those that Walk in your shoes can understand the "day in day out" impact simple everyday interactions have on kids with challenges
Gosh, my head spins when I think back to elementary school and what we were put through due to honest to goodness "ignorance" (I'd rather think that then uncaring and inconsiderate).
Boy, Middle school was like a Breathe of fresh air and the transition to High School was even more amazing.....I am so proud of all my childs accomplishments, he is truly one amazing, creative very smart kid if I do say so myself,
So , I say continue to Be your Childs Advocate and continue to demand what is needed, required and deserved. Best of Luck to you and your child....There ARE really good people out there (we had one teacher that really "got it" and was a Godsend for us!) those few bad ones can sure ruin days and nights Those days are Long gone!
Again,

 

[tw1nsmom]

I am now seething!!! I am still working things through on a district level, but the teacher in question has refused to speak to or email me.

At the beginning of the year this teacher invited all of the children in her classes to her wedding (the ceremony) I thought it was odd that she didn't run it by the parents first, but I told a very excited DS that we'd see. She and the children have talked about the wedding all year. As time has gone on I knew I wouldn't be taking DS but he is so excited and is having a hard time grasping that we aren't going.

He must have mentioned her wedding to her today, because this afternoon i got a call from the principal saying that this teacher felt it would be better if my DS didn't come to her wedding.

I know some will say so what, you weren't going to take him anyway, but now all the other children are invited (many are going) and the one child whose parents she is having a dispute with over his IEP has been uninvited. This is a child who has never hurt anyone and falls in love with everyone he meets.

I've requested that DS be moved out of her class. I've yet to hear a reply, but this about to get a lot nastier.

 

[Motherofboys]

I am now seething!!! I am still working things through on a district level, but the teacher in question has refused to speak to or email me.

At the beginning of the year this teacher invited all of the children in her classes to her wedding (the ceremony) I thought it was odd that she didn't run it by the parents first, but I told a very excited DS that we'd see. She and the children have talked about the wedding all year. As time has gone on I knew I wouldn't be taking DS but he is so excited and is having a hard time grasping that we aren't going.

He must have mentioned her wedding to her today, because this afternoon i got a call from the principal saying that this teacher felt it would be better if my DS didn't come to her wedding.

I know some will say so what, you weren't going to take him anyway, but now all the other children are invited (many are going) and the one child whose parents she is having a dispute with over his IEP has been uninvited. This is a child who has never hurt anyone and falls in love with everyone he meets.

I've requested that DS be moved out of her class. I've yet to hear a reply, but this about to get a lot nastier.

Wow, how incredibly unprofessional! Since when is your personal life and your wedding something you need to be talking to kids about during the school day?

What grade is this? How long has this person been teaching? Her principal has no problem with this?

I would be ticked if a teacher refused to talk/email with me. That is part of their job! It's situations like this that give teachers a bad rap, IMO.

Talk about immature! Un-inviting a child from a wedding! Good grief!

I hope your son doesn't take it too hard, I feel terrible for the poor little guy. Hopefully next year he gets a grown up for a teacher!

 

[tw1nsmom]

He's just turned 10...4th grade. But, he has developmental issues that make him much more naive and trusting.

adding: I have no intention of letting him know he's been uninvited. I'll take the rap and tell him we just can't go because we're too busy. If she tells him she better take a looong honeymoon because I'll blow!

 

[Wishing on a star]

OMG, I am SO sorry that you are going thru this!!!!

Your poor son!

Just unbelievable.

As you probably remember, I have been-there-done-that with my son who was on an IEP...
I feel your pain.

 

[Motherofboys]

He's just turned 10...4th grade. But, he has developmental issues that make him much more naive and trusting.

Oh I have a 10 year old boy too, they are still very sensitive at that age. I can't imagine how upset he would be if a teacher rejected him like that.

I don't blame you one bit for going to war on this. I would be in the principal's office so fast and you can bet they would be answering to me about how they feel this is appropriate behavior for a teacher to engage in.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

So sorry you have to go through this.

My oldest son has Asperger's and had a 5th grade teacher that just hated him. It was strange because all the other teachers liked him so much because he was quiet and did his work, never caused any trouble. She just told me point blank that she didn't have time to worry about an IEP!

I really wanted to strangle her. Karma though - this is a parochial school and we had four schools close and merge into a regional school and she wasn't re-hired!

If it makes you feel any better my son is now 27, graduated college and doing just fine. Good luck.