Will they think she's being tortured??

[merrywether]

Dh and I decided to take our dd's for a walk tonight on a nearby trail. I placed both girls in the jogging stroller, brought a blanket (very cool tonight) and was super excited . Ten minutes into our walk, dd2 pulled dd5's hair. 5 complained about 2, then pulled back. I finally get them settled, when dd2 had her leg too close to dd5 (are you KIDDING me????). Dd5 starts to scream. BTW, the trail is so quiet that you can hear crickets and frogs. Now all you can hear is echoed screaming!

I turned the stroller around and COMPLETE MELTDOWN !!!! DD5 lost it. I was in complete shock . I made the biggest mistake by saying "you're embarassing me". Her response? "You're embarassing ME".

I picked dd2 up and carried her the rest of the way to the car, while dh pushed the stroller. dd5 didn't say another word, and fell asleep on the way home. I have to admit, I am angry . I could say that the only reason I'm mad is that she behaved the way she did, but I know that real reason I'm so mad...I could've handled the situation better. I shouldn't have gotten flustered. Also, I usually have raisins or the aqua doodle pads with me to distract them.

All I wanted was a nice peaceful walk with my family. Instead, I have a really sad memory and tons of guilt .

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better now that I got it out

I can totally relate - last week my 3 yr old told me that he didn't love me (very first time and probably not the last!). It was devastating! I almost cried, and he knew he had gotten to me. Then I was mad that I had taken it to heart, knowing that it was said in anger and wasn't true. It's amazing how these little guys can wrap us up in knots sometimes!

 

[northriver]

celerystalker, Books are great when you need advice, but don't always think about what the books say to do, most of the time you just have to listen to your heart and do what feels right. The "right" thing is what works for you and your child. You'll figure it out! Within one family what worked for the first child might not work for the second, what works for the author of a book certainly you can't expect to work for your family, kwim? And foster children/adopted childern have different needs as far as attention goes, so be sure to read up on those specifically.

I travel with my 2 yr old once a month - only a 3 hour drive each way but we usually do it Sat then return Sunday. Both my kids are great travelers. Sometimes they fuss, and singing silly songs usually works for us to regain calm in the vehicle, I only make one stop and they know that. For entertainment they have books mostly and some toys. I've never done electronic toys or movies in the car and my kids have aways been just fine. Food is a great distraction, I stock healthy non messy (at least non staining!) foods - pretzels, small chesse cubes, grapes cut in half so there is no choking hazard and carrots quartered lengthwise again so no choking hazzard. I dole the food out slowly, we can get 30min-1 hr out of a small bag of pretzels. I keep plenty of water handy too. When possible, plan stops where kids can run off steam, playgrounds or those fast food places that have the indoor playgrounds. Hope that helps.

 

[Whosemom]

Well said!

I've got a weird parenting question for you all. I'm going to be a foster parent soon (4 to 5 months), so I've been doing a lot of reading just because I'm an obsessive planner.
Anyway, the books say that you should comfort your child after they hit, bite, throw a tantrum, etc.

Fostering is a little different than parenting. I haven't done it, but taught a special ed class that ended up having alot of foster kids in it, and have watched friends who were foster parents. The kids have been in unstable environments, at the very least. And maybe there is a real need for a physical reminder of unconditional love, because they probably haven't been getting it. Not saying reinforce bad behavior, but I'd really talk with some other folks who are already "in the trenches" as it were.

 

[rmjkharrisfam]

I think meltdowns are expected - it's all about how you handle it.

Couple of stories - When DS was 3 (he's now almost 5) we were at Sam's Club. DS had a trantrum about something. DH picked him up to carry him to the check out and DS was yelling "Somebody help me". Both of us cracked up and DH just kept walking. We did get a few looks though

We went to Disney in May and stayed at ASMu. Overall both DS and DD2 were great - no major meltdowns except for one morning when DS got out of bed on the WRONG side. It was about 8:30 in the morning and he didn't want to put his shoes on. So he sat on the bed SCREAMING at the top of his lungs for at least 10 minutes. Luckily we had a corner room and there was no one in the room next to us. DH and DS headed down to eat breakfast and I waited until DS was done with his tantrum. Normally I would have stopped him - redirected or calmed him down. But we had been going hard for 3 days - he was really tired. But 10 minutes later my nice calm smiley boy was back and we didn't have any other tantrums that day.

After a trip to the bathroom with DS at Magic Kingdom DH said "You think your kids are the worst behaved in the park....until you walk into the bathroom"

I put myself in my kid's mind - we talked about Disney sooooo much but how do you really explain to a 2 or 4 year old what they are about to experience? It's so completely overwhelming to a little one that they are bound to melt down a little. Just be prepared for it and have a plan - snacks worked wonders for us

 

[mimif1]

Last year, my DD2 had a tantrum on the bus. She has sensory issues, and it was hot and crowded and that was the time she decided to completely melt down. She was also going through a phase where she would pull out chunks of her hair and try to eat it . Then she would sit there drolling spit while she screamed. I had to hold her in restraint throughout the entire bus ride (which went on and on and on) so she wouldn't kick or hit the other people on the bus. My other DDs and DH just acted like they didn't know us. It was really awful, but the bus did finally arrive at the hotel and I could wrestle her off the bus. Needless to say, we drove to every park from then on. Some people weren't kind and we got lots of dirty looks, but that's life! They eventually got to escape us! Thankfully, she's out of the hair pulling/eating phase and tantrums are getting better. She had a tantrum in all four Disney parks that trip, but we also have some of the sweetest memories of her during that trip too! There is nothing like seeing that 2 year old sense of Disney wonder.

 

[RUDisney]

We're also planning on almost all early nights and naps at the resort every day. I also bought one small gift for each day to combat the "give me's!" in the park.
Any other suggestions for the parks?

Set a budget for her. If you tell her how much she will have to spend, and force her to make decisions about buying things based on her allotted budget, she'll make better choices.

OP, the thing that worked for us the first time we took our kids (6 & 7) to WDW was my mother telling them that everyone who works in the park has to report back to Mickey. They watch out for kids who aren't behaving and if they see a child who is behaving badly, that child might get a letter from Mickey telling them that they cannot go back into the parks for 10 years. This worked like a charm for our first trip. Whenever one of them would start to break down, we'd remind them that CM's were watching for Mickey. They'd be back to themselves quickly. If only this worked on our second trip! By then, they were older and more "worldly." They didn't believe me the second time around. The kids were 8 and 9 then.