Will they think she's being tortured??

[DisneyAllison]

We are leaving in 9 days for Disney - I can't believe it!!!

I am doing the usual pre-trip planning / anxiety thing, and I have really been thinking about this scenario alot lately.

We are normally very consistent with DD(3) discipline-wise, and plan to be the same in Disney, of course. DD has started this major screaming/objecting when she is put in time out or if a toy is put in "toy time out", etc. ( To clarify, in this scenario, I am not talking about spanking.) We ignore the "objection" at home, and that works - the "loud objecting" usually only lasts 1-2minutes at the most. ANYWAY... here's my concern.

If this happens at the hotel (WL), in our room, if someone hears her screaming (it sounds pretty miserable! ), do you think someone will think we are toturing her, or hurting her, when actually she is just "objecting"??

Thanks!

 

[Suzanna1973]

I think almost everyone on here has had their child(ren) pitch a fit or two in their lifetimes. I think you'll be ok. And who knows, maybe the WDW magic will take over and she won't throw any tantrums!!!

Good luck, have fun!!!!

 

[jagafen]

This actuallly just happened to us a few weeks ago.....hubby was trying to bathe son in the tub at the hotel (not in WDW) and son was loudly protesting..."No Daddy No Daddy No!" or something like that. After about 2 minutes of 4 year old loudly protesting, our phone rings in the room. I answer, and caller hangs up. My guess is that caller just wanted to make sure someone else was in the room and that nothing "inappropriate" was going on.

 

[my3disneygirls]

I remember my second trip to Disney as an adult. It was a girls vacation, mom sprung for us to stay at the Floridian for the week. One night mid week me and my two girls were hanging by the hot tub with some friends of ours. Well when it came time to go up to the room my then 3 year old started screaming like she was being murdered. In the elevator she was uncontrollable. It was about 10pm and all I could think of was waking sleeping children. When the elevator doors opened I got her in a football carry, covered her mouth and ran down the hallway to our room. Thinking back if someone saw me they would have though my little one was being abducted.

Anyway a Disney meltdown is as common as high humidity. It was even worse when I took my oldest when she was two. I'd tell you about it, but you wouldn't have the time to read it all.

 

[Micka Mouse]

Isn't it funny that we get so freaked out when disciplining our own children? I know I always wonder if I am coming off as a psycho mom with a spoiled rotten child (not that it happens often ). However, when I see or hear a child having a tantrum, or hear their mom/dad reprimanding them, I think NOTHING of it !

 

[Hannathy]

As long as it isn't the hours between midnight and 6 in the morning, And it truly is only a minute. If it was 5 or so minutes I'd be calling no matter what time of day.

 

[Jen32113]

We have gone pretty often to Disney this year because of living so close and having an annual pass. When I see tantrums in the parks or in the resorts now, it doesn't even phase me because I know they are bound to happen. It's amazing though when it happens to you - you think the entire world is staring at you at that exact moment. My DS was 18 or 19 months when we last went and he threw a complete MELTDOWN in the middle of DTD because 45 minutes in the water play area just wasn't enough for him. Of course it was the worse meltdown we have had to date. I'd say it lasted about 15-20 minutes. My DS is very big for his age and I'm on the smaller side so after a while I couldn't handle his kicking and screaming. Finally I just let him do what he had to do. He layed on the concrete for about 10 minutes and screamed like someone was stabbing him. I remember I was SO freaked out about what people thought, but no one even cared. I think everyone expects one sooner or later!

 

[dcforbreakfast]

If you're a parent or spend any amount of time with little kids, you get it. I get more bothered when kids are acting like brats and the mom acts like "Oh she is just a little ornery today." and does nothing.

There is really nothing worse than a meltdown in public. You feel like yelling, I swear, I'm not a bad parent! He's usually not like this!

 

[blessedby3]

I feel your pain. We have an 8 year old who is still very loud at times when she has gotten in trouble. She just wont be quiet and screams when things dont go her way. When we tell her she will be losing something or sitting in time out it just escalates. Our other 2 kids never did this and it drives me crazy. I always hate it when I see a tantrum coming on when we are in public. I think most parents have seen these kinds of things and heard kids crying and screaming from other hotel rooms. I still feel really bad when it happens with us, but have never had anyone approach us or call our room.

 

[jetprincess]

You will screaming kids all over the place at WDW! I think what raises eyebrows is how parents react.

 

[disney6family]

I agree, the kids meltdown is inevitable (all the excitement, fears, expectations usuallly boil over at some point)
What is interesting is seeing the parents meltdown. If you can be calm while the timeout is happening then it's no big deal. Fair and consistent discipline is a necessary part of parenthood and growing up. It's the parents who scream back and get out of hand that really get to me.

 

[Brygida]

We are normally very consistent with DD(3) discipline-wise, and plan to be the same in Disney, of course. DD has started this major screaming/objecting when she is put in time out or if a toy is put in "toy time out", etc. ( To clarify, in this scenario, I am not talking about spanking.) We ignore the "objection" at home, and that works - the "loud objecting" usually only lasts 1-2minutes at the most.

I would come up with a plan B... other than waiting it out.... and incorporate that at the airport. You have heard about the family who was put of the plane because they couldn't get there toddler to stop the tantrum?

Try re-direction or just giving in. At the airport there are NO jokes and NO tantrums allowed. My "No No No" is also 3 years old (a boy, who is taller than most 6 year olds!), so I fully understand how hard it is.... but you have to have another option other than to wait it out.

Some re-directions that have usually worked:

• ... would you please help Mommy carry this? and then hand him something, amazing how often that one has worked.
• if the child is hitting, slapping, kicking, ask him if he would like to pat you instead? I take his hand and show him how I would like to be patted on the arm. This often turns into a hug for me. Maybe the hitting was a sign of needing some physical contact?
• and of course, on the plane bring small books, coloring books, card games, and a present. Tell him about the present ahead of time and solicit their cooperation. Make it clear that if they cooperate, he will get the present. Then, at the first sign of antsi-ness, give it to him. Make a big deal out of it... what a good boy you have been! etc.

 

[bumbershoot]

As long as it isn't the hours between midnight and 6 in the morning, And it truly is only a minute. If it was 5 or so minutes I'd be calling no matter what time of day.

I'm trying to figure out who you would be calling, and for what purpose? The front desk to have them find out what is happening? Or the front desk to get them to make it stop?

And those hours are PRIME time for kiddo problems, especially kids who might wake up out of the excitement of it all but be overtired at the same time. Also primetime for adults to have loud problems, too.



To the OP, my guy turned 3 just after moving into a new apartment, and like clockwork he started the SCREAMING protests against the simplest of things. I still feel embarrassed when he starts it (we've been here over a month). And, honestly, if he's doing it and I know nothing can be solved, I'll just stand near our doorway and calmly talk to him loud enough so if someone were standing outside they could hear me narrating what is happening. And really I do that anyway, I don't want him to feel alone in his enormous 3 year old feelings, I just don't normally stand next to the door while doing it.

Anyway, I'd do that in a hotel room, too.


To the PP who mentioned the "no daddy no" thing...OMG my son has been doing that too. Bathtime and tooth-brushing are mainly DH's jobs, so we've got DH talking about the things that have to be done during those innocent activities, but with the overlay of "no papa no" and all the other things a kid might say while objecting to a toothbrush, or hairwash, etc...it sounds SO SO BAD. I stand near the door then, too, "projecting" my voice while talking about bathtime or toothbrushing, etc.

I think maybe I'm too paranoid.

 

[Jen76b]

I always smile when I see a kid throwing a fit and think "been there, done that". While my DS never fell down on the ground screaming,he has gotten loud.

On a side note, when my DS was about 2 or 3 he was sitting in the seat part of the shopping cart having a fit b/c i wouldn't let him out to walk. This nice old lady came over and starting talking to him. It really calmed him down. I have always wanted to do that, but didn't know if someone would think I was rude for interferring. Sometimes it's that little distraction that helps, but I haven't had the courage to do it yet.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm trying to figure out who you would be calling, and for what purpose? The front desk to have them find out what is happening? Or the front desk to get them to make it stop?

And those hours are PRIME time for kiddo problems, especially kids who might wake up out of the excitement of it all but be overtired at the same time. Also primetime for adults to have loud problems, too.

If a child was screaming so loud that it was disturbing me in my room at 2 AM I would be calling the front desk! No one has the right to disturb their "neighbor" in a hotel in the middle of the night. You make a point in your own house not in a hotel. I don't mean a minute but if it was going on for 5-10 minutes you bet I would be calling.

 

[northriver]

I always smile broadly when I see/hear a child throwing a fit too, only I'm thinking "Thank gosh I don't have to deal with that!"

We are early to bed early to rise Disney travelers. Last trip our neighbors in the next room had 3 screaming boys very close in age - the mother was struggling and the father didn't seem to help. They seemed to be out quite late and had trouble getting their kids down at night. The noisy kids didn't bother me one bit though as long as they didn't wake my toddler up which they didn't. I only react to the sound of my own kid screaming, I tune others out. Now, childless adults I'm sure feel differently!

To reduce tantrums, I've found with my own kids that food and sleep are the answers - in preventative form, KWIM? I make ADR's so we don't have to wait in long likes and make sure to eat at off times for counter service so we don't have to fight crowds. I keep snacks in my bag and feed kids that start to whine, we eat early and often, take a nap/break mid day, and go to bed early. If you can't get back to the hotel room, switch parks, take a nice sit down meal mid day either in the park or at a monorail resort, or take a little rest in a quiet place within the park. Even a nice serene ride without a line sometimes works, Tommorowland Transit Authority at MK or Spaceship Earth at Epcot for example. When we do late nights at the parks, we take the next morning off. Hope that helps some. My kids are so overwhelmed that often the carrot and the stick approach don't work "If you behave we'll do XXX" because there is so much going on they can't really look into the future if you know what I mean - so it is ME that has to be prepared to modify MY behavior asap to keep the kids even keel, and really pay attention to their fussy cues before they blow up.

 

[MaryKLady]

I think almost everyone on here has had their child(ren) pitch a fit or two in their lifetimes. I think you'll be ok. And who knows, maybe the WDW magic will take over and she won't throw any tantrums!!!

Good luck, have fun!!!!

My thoughts, exactly.
Try not to over stimulate her...hard to do in Disney, I know. We'll be in the parks for six days. We'll get there for 8am and will leave no later than 1pm. If she's having a tough time one morning, we'll stay at the resort pool. If we miss smething, we'll just have to go back next year!

 

[Tikicampers]

If a child was screaming so loud that it was disturbing me in my room at 2 AM I would be calling the front desk! No one has the right to disturb their "neighbor" in a hotel in the middle of the night. You make a point in your own house not in a hotel. I don't mean a minute but if it was going on for 5-10 minutes you bet I would be calling.

Just remember that you really don't know what's going on. DS has night terrors. We never know when or if he will get them or how long they will last. We have spoken to our Ped. about them, and there is really nothing you can do, as the child is not really awake, and if you try to wake them, it will get worse. His record is about 15 minutes. I can assure you that if a child is screaming at 2am, his or her parents are just as upset about it as you are.

To the OP, lots of kids have meltdowns at WDW. Just handle it as you would normally. Many times, children will test their parents in new situations. The best thing about Disney, is that there are so many distractions. It's fairly easy to get your child interesting in something else to stop a tantrum.

 

[AMaloy314]

I agree with the poster who suggested having an alternate back up plan, whether it be redirection, distraction, or just plain giving in.

Before I get flamed, I should say that at home I am the Queen of Consistency. WDW is a different story. Adaptation and compromise are required for the good of everyone involved.

We were going through a difficult bedtime phase during one trip and while we normally have let DS 'cry it out' at home that just isn't fair to other hotel guests. We would leave the TV on or rock him to sleep each night for that vacation. Not only would it save the evening for us and our 'neighbors', but it saved the next day as well since he would get his sleep.

I think you are going to have to be prepared to take into consideration (and by posting, it is obvious you already are thinking about it) the other people around you. Yes, we've all had kids go through temper tantrums, but it isn't right that you have to suffer because my kid is having a meltdown. I'll do my best to remove them from the situation and take them to a more out of the way place. And I'll do my best to get them under control. Sometimes, in the heat, over stimulation, and over excitement of WDW it is just too much to ask of a small child. (Heck, sometimes it is too much to ask of some adults I've seen there!) Is it worth it to you to sacrifice hours of your vacation for this?

Most of us are only at WDW for a week or two at most. The kids are already out of their regular routine and environment. It is almost unrealistic to think that we aren't going to have to be more flexible with them. At worst, it will take a couple of days to get back to 'normal' when you get home.

My best advice is to try to prevent melt downs from happening by sticking as close to a regular routine as you can. (Same sleep schedules, meal times, diet) Absolutely do not skip breaks or naps, as that is just asking for trouble.

Kids will be kids. Even the best planning and intentions don't always work, so try to have a plan in place so that you have a great vacation. Then when your child totally rejects that plan, have another.

 

[Huntava]

We have twin 4 yr olds, just took last trip to Disney in February. They certainly had their moments at Disney, but we would just try to keep them active, either at the parks, or at the pool at the hotel they typically went to sleep within a half hour of being put to bed. They seemed to throw their worst fits between 2 and 3 yoa, one plane trip was particularly bad with our 2 yr old son crying through much of it, after we deplaned a male passenger approached me and said "I have 3 kids, and I prayed for you", at least you know there are people out there that understand what you are going through.