Widowers/Widows and Disney

[Simba's Mom]

MerMom60, I want you to know you helped someone today, me. Thank you. DH's father died of a heart attack in his sleep at the age of 51. DH is now 63, and we try to cherish every day todgether, but we sometimes forget Thanks for the reminder. DH has been treated for high cholesterol for over 30 years, but is otherwise healthy. So thank goodness. I hope your Disney trip is mostly a good one.

 

[MerMom60_94]

I am glad that helps you, Simba's Mom. Encourage your husband to listen to his body. As it happens, I was sick the week my husband died and had called out from work the day before his heart attack. When I said I wasn't feeling well he made a quip along the lines of "welcome to the club". I took that to mean he was coming down with the same respiratory virus I was coming down with. I now think he had other things going on and didn't get it checked. My husband saw enough in his career that he constantly told DD and I how proud he was of us and how much he loved us. A week or two before he died I was panicking that I hadn't finished my Christmas shopping for him. He pulled me close next to him and told me he had everything he wanted sitting right next to him on that couch and didn't need anything else. There were some other things that in retrospect make me think he knew something wasn't right. I only wish he hadn't been too stubborn to go get checked out.

 

[Asc341]

I'm going to be following this thread closely. Dad passed away in December. Mom had always wanted to go to WDW, but Dad refused. Finally, in 2010, he got sick of her bugging him and went, just to shut her up, I think. Well, he loved it!

This is a wonderful picture! Our family of 3 lost our patriarch when he was 65, he didn't love wdw as much as mom and I did, but my memories with both my parents are still my favorite. Mom is still going strong (she is purely unsinkable!) and still makes many trips to wdw with family and friends, sometimes even solo!

 

[Derek&Ashley]

I'm taking my my 3 year old daughter in September on our first trip to WDW since my wife passed on January 26th of this year from breast cancer. She was 30. We had both been to WDW before we met, but went a lot more together. Took our first trip together while dating in December of 2004. Had our honeymoon there in 2007, and have made many many other trips. Our daughter is only 3 and this will be her 4th trip so we obviously love WDW.

I know this will be a rough trip but I'm still looking forward to it. Going back to some of our local favorite places hasn't been as bad as I expected. So I'm optimistic WDW will be the same.

 

[MerMom60_94]

I'm taking my my 3 year old daughter in September on our first trip to WDW since my wife passed on January 26th of this year from breast cancer. She was 30. We had both been to WDW before we met, but went a lot more together. Took our first trip together while dating in December of 2004. Had our honeymoon there in 2007, and have made many many other trips. Our daughter is only 3 and this will be her 4th trip so we obviously love WDW.

I know this will be a rough trip but I'm still looking forward to it. Going back to some of our local favorite places hasn't been as bad as I expected. So I'm optimistic WDW will be the same.

Oh honey, I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry for your loss. I am happy to hear you got in some happy times together as a family while your wife was still around to enjoy them with you. I hope you took lots of videos and pictures that your daughter can look at with you to connect with her mother as she grows older. God bless you.

 

[WDisneyMom]

MerMom, I'm so sorry for your loss. I think this thread will offer a little support for all of us.

Derek&Ashley, I'm sorry for the loss of your wife. I hope you and your daughter enjoy your Disney vacation. Your wife will be smiling as you revisit and create new memories.

 

[MerMom60_94]

For those of you anticipating your first trip back without your loved one, DD and I are back and are so glad we went. We did have tears and spent time reminiscing but we also laughed thinking back too. When we first brought DD to WDW she was about 6 years old. We had legacy tiles made at Epcot. While we were there we looked them up - one with her and her dad and one was of her with me. I am so glad we did that. Now DH will forever be memorialized in a place that meant so much to him in life. I felt like his spirit was all around us on this trip.

 

[WDisneyMom]

MerMom, that is beautiful. I hope you and your daughter enjoy your vacation.

 

[Disney Frenhines]

Thanks for starting this thread. I lost my DH 17 years ago when he died suddenly at the age of 30 to unknown causes. We went to WDW when we were first married in 1989 and always talked about going back when our daughter was older, sadly he died in May 1997 as were planing a trip to DLRP in August that year. I did take her in the September instead for her 7th birthday and we made many trips, but, I couldn't get the courage as a single parent to take her to WDW as DH and I planned to do until 2004, it changed everything, we were addicted and while she doesn't come with me so much I love my solo trips.
I was always a Disney addict and DH loved that aspect of me and after he passed immersing myself in Disney movies kept my sanity through the tough times. Going to WDW (and DL last year) is what keeps me going and I doubt if I'll ever get tired of how I feel when I'm there.

 

[Disney Frenhines]

I find (and found) WDW good therapy but I don't know about a complete surprise. Be prepared to roll with either 24/7 attention or giving her complete "space" as required. (We all handle loss differently.) If it were me in her shoes I would want to spend some time remembering then turn the page to something new. Maybe some time at BC or BW then the Grand Floridian for some pampering.

It's the best therapy for me. It bugs me that people in my home town make the comment 'Disney again?' it sure beats taking pills and getting away from those people is a bonus.

 

[Donald&Tinkerbell]

I lost my dear wife in Jan 2014 about one week before our trip to WDW and 20 days before our 35th anniversary. I went to WDW for the last week of Star Wars week ends and I'm glad I did. I was there for a week and had a ball for the most part. The hardest part of my trip was going to the Magic Kingdom, with out her. You see that was our very first true date in 1979 and it brought back so many memories of our time together. But I will keep going for as long as I can.

 

[D23Ry]

I lost my dear wife in Jan 2014 about one week before our trip to WDW and 20 days before our 35th anniversary. I went to WDW for the last week of Star Wars week ends and I'm glad I did. I was there for a week and had a ball for the most part. The hardest part of my trip was going to the Magic Kingdom, with out her. You see that was our very first true date in 1979 and it brought back so many memories of our time together. But I will keep going for as long as I can.

Some beautiful stories here. I'm sorry for everyone's loss, but really beautiful stuff here at the same time. Love everyones strength

 

[TheLittles]

I came across this thank goodness. I am a widow and have been to disney twice since becoming a widow. My husband was a Marine and was killed in Feb of 2012 in a helicopter collision in Yuma, AZ along with six other Marines. I was 24 yrs old and three months pregnant at the time. I ran my very first half marathon to raise money for surviving families of military at last yrs Wine and Dine half marathon. I am coming in September and bringing our daughter for her very first Disney trip (first of many) to celebrate her second birthday. Her name is Corey. She is named after her Daddy.

 

[Goofcoaster]

I came across this thank goodness. I am a widow and have been to disney twice since becoming a widow. My husband was a Marine and was killed in Feb of 2012 in a helicopter collision in Yuma, AZ along with six other Marines. I was 24 yrs old and three months pregnant at the time. I ran my very first half marathon to raise money for surviving families of military at last yrs Wine and Dine half marathon. I am coming in September and bringing our daughter for her very first Disney trip (first of many) to celebrate her second birthday. Her name is Corey. She is named after her Daddy.

Ive been reading some of these, they are tough to read as some of these have brought tears to my eyes.

We often think about our soldiers giving their lives while serving their country, but sometimes its forgotten what they leave behind.

I want to Thank You for the service your husband did for country, I'm terribly sorry for you and your daughter.

 

[Disney Frenhines]

I came across this thank goodness. I am a widow and have been to disney twice since becoming a widow. My husband was a Marine and was killed in Feb of 2012 in a helicopter collision in Yuma, AZ along with six other Marines. I was 24 yrs old and three months pregnant at the time. I ran my very first half marathon to raise money for surviving families of military at last yrs Wine and Dine half marathon. I am coming in September and bringing our daughter for her very first Disney trip (first of many) to celebrate her second birthday. Her name is Corey. She is named after her Daddy.

My heart goes out to you, as a fellow Military Widow, my Darling DH was Search and Rescue Helicopter Aircrew and Diver (equivalent to the US Coastguard). I was left to raise a young daughter too. Well done on you first half marathon and for the wonderful fundraising too. Hope you and Corey have a wonderful time and Corey has a fantastic 2nd Birthday.

 

[jillyb]

I'm so glad I found this thread. So many sad stories but happy ones too from the memories we have of our loved ones.

It's been a tough couple of years for me, my DD and stepDD. My DH and I separated in May 2012 when our DD was 9. After some bumpy patches early on in the separation, we were able to settle into an amicable relationship. I filed for divorce in June 2013 but due to his work schedule he was never home when the Sheriff came to serve him.

In August 2013 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Not knowing what was to come, I had my attorney file a dismissal of the divorce complaint. DH was there to hold me when I was crying in fear and despair over what this meant for me and our family. He went with me to my first appointment with the surgeon and oncologist, as well as subsequent appointments. He took me to chemo and he was with me when I had surgery in February of this year (had to cancel my first, solo Disney cruise in January due to diagnosis and timing of my surgery) and was happy when I completed radiation in April. He teased me when I was completely bald from chemo because he finally had more hair than me lol. Bottom line, even though we were no longer together as man and wife, he was my best friend and we still cared very much for each other. Due to chemo, surgery and radiation, I am cancer free and my prognosis is very good. I've been getting herceptin (a cancer drug) since last December and will be finishing that this coming December and I just started taking Tamoxifen (hormone therapy drug). Life was good.

On May 13th I received a call at work from the local police department asking if I was his wife. I said "yes" and from there my world came crashing down. My DH had committed suicide in the early morning hours in the backyard of the home he was renting. It's been almost 3 months and I still can't believe that he did this. He has a 16 year old DD from his first marriage and our DD was 11 (just turned 12 in June). He loved those girls so much and I just can't fathom how he could leave them. I also have a 10 year old granddaughter (I have an older DD from a previous relationship) whom he also loved. The girls and I are heartbroken and devastated. We'd been together for 14 years and married for 10.

We only had 2 trips to WDW as a family. The first was for our DD's 6th birthday. I fell in love with WDW on that trip as did DD! DH liked it but didn't understand my "obsession" as he called it lol. Our last trip was for Thanksgiving 2008. That was such a great trip! DD, stepDD and I want to go back to WDW. My granddaughter has never been and I'd like to take her too. I'm hoping that we can go in 2016. It will be a bittersweet trip for sure.

I'm just trying to take one day at a time right now. There are so many "first" coming up and a couple of "firsts" already passed. Our DD turned 12 on June 12th and then, of course, Father's Day. That was a tough one. The girls and I went to a movie and then had dinner. Stepdd turns 17 in a couple of weeks.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is having a walk in October (4 days after what would have been his 46th birthday) and I've got a team together to get donations and to walk in his honor/memory.

to everyone who is grieving and missing someone.

 

[tdizzle]

God bless you, Jillyb and may you find peace. It will come I promise. It was very brave of you to put that out here and I commend you for doing it.

 

[jillyb]

God bless you, Jillyb and may you find peace. It will come I promise. It was very brave of you to put that out here and I commend you for doing it.

Thank you tdizzle. Things are a little better since my post. Just taking it one day at a time.

 

[annmorr]

I have been very impressed while reading this thread - it really emphasizes the strength and resilience of the human spirit.

My own story is similar to many others, except that I have been widowed twice.
My first husband and I married very young, and I was pregnant with our second baby when Tom was diagnosed with incurable leukemia at the age of 24. He died on December 3, 1965.

10 years later I finally met a man who would become my second husband and we formed a happy family, & had another child. We spent a few vacations at Disneyworld with our children, and then a few more vacations when grandkids started to join us.

Very sadly for all of us, Bob was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 57, and died shortly afterwards on Dec 6, 2001.

So the first week of December has always been a rather emotional time for me, facing all of those sad memories.....

So this year I have decided to replace those sad memories with happier ones. I will be at Disneyworld solo
that week, having the time of my life, and remembering how lucky I am to have been loved twice in my lifetime by two remarkable men.

I wish you all peace and joy!

 

[MerMom60_94]

I have been very impressed while reading this thread - it really emphasizes the strength and resilience of the human spirit.

My own story is similar to many others, except that I have been widowed twice.
My first husband and I married very young, and I was pregnant with our second baby when Tom was diagnosed with incurable leukemia at the age of 24. He died on December 3, 1965.

10 years later I finally met a man who would become my second husband and we formed a happy family, & had another child. We spent a few vacations at Disneyworld with our children, and then a few more vacations when grandkids started to join us.

Very sadly for all of us, Bob was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 57, and died shortly afterwards on Dec 6, 2001.

So the first week of December has always been a rather emotional time for me, facing all of those sad memories.....

So this year I have decided to replace those sad memories with happier ones. I will be at Disneyworld solo
that week, having the time of my life, and remembering how lucky I am to have been loved twice in my lifetime by two remarkable men.

I wish you all peace and joy!

I love your attitude. I tell myself all the time there are some people who never know love. I was blessed to have been loved by a good man for so long. I just cannot imagine how December must be for you. I hope you find peace in your travels and know that your husbands are looking down upon you wanting you to be happy once again.