Why would you ask if someone is pregnant....

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I'm always afraid to ask...you never know.

 

[HerdOHuds]

I was working at a mothers of multiples garage sale so I guess it was an appropriate place to ask. The girl who asked was pregnant and just assumed that most other folks would be too, I guess.

I am fat. I know it. I look in the mirror and wonder when I am due! So when she asked me I laughed and told her I have quadruplets and they (were) 2 years old. She didn't really get embarassed and frankly I wasn't either. But then she asked another mom who didn't look pregnant AT ALL and that mom got extremely huffy.

I figured if the gal couldn't take the hint the first time, she was not socially sensitive enough to understand why that might be offensive!

 

[MerMom60_94]

When my DD was probably about 6 I was asked. I was at work, slouched in a chair chatting with a couple of the other managers. One of my cohorts brought around a new employee to introduce her to everyone. The girl looked at me and said something like "Ooooh, you're having a baby! When are you due?" I cracked up and told her "six years ago"! The poor thing was horrified. I thought it was pretty funny, actually. I knew I was fat. I knew I hadn't worked on my shape since before my DD was born, so actually, I did look pregnant. She looked embarrassed every time I saw her for months after that. I think she took it worse than I did. Also, well after I had given birth, the neighbor out back asked my DH if I was pregnant again. Really, if I look back at videos from then I looked pregnant. It wasn't only that I was heavy but it was my shape. I had a c-section so my stomach hadn't flattened at all and it retained the shape of my pregnancy.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

I was working at a bank as a teller in Cincinnati, OH. The girl next to me was a little overweight and carried it in her stomach (she also had had a child a couple years before). This older lady comes in and starts clapping her hands and shrieking "Congratulations!" to the girl beside me. Neither of us knew who this lady was and we were both confused. The lady said "On the baby! I just love pregnant women. They're so beautiful" So my co-worker looks at her and says "I'm not pregnant" and the lady says "Yes you are! It's so obvious! Congratulations sweetie" I felt so bad for her and she was so upset after the lady left (she has low self-esteem anyways).

I don't understand why anyone feels it's their place to say anything about anyone else. I've had grown people (I was a teller for 8 years before I had my wonderful non-customer service job that I have now) tell me it's time to pluck my eyebrows, time to dye my hair cause my roots are showing, tell me when I looked like I was getting pale (I had decided to stop going to the tanning bed), tell me when the skin on my face looks dry, tell me what they thought about every new hair color or hair cut, what they think about my outfit, tell me when I've gained weight, etc. And I didn't even know these people! And it wasn't one or two, it was very frequent. There's many people in the world who have NO problem saying whatever it is they want to say, whether it's considerate or not.

 

[XYSRUS]

a few years ago, I was heavier ( 5'11'', size 18/20), but I didn't look pregnant...I had a rude woman in the office I worked at, bring in a bag of maternity clothes...and tell me I could have them. I said I wasn't pregnant...she said, "well, you're a big girl, and I was your size when i was pregnant...so I figured you could use these."

I think I would have dumped them over her head! I've been asked if I was pregnant before too. I'm big and all my weight is in my stomach-4 kids will do that to some women! It always happens when I'm in my scrubs at work. Plus I think people have seen me pregnant for so long they think I'm always pregnant. My husband has whispered stuff to me about other women and I am like keep your mouth shut! That question can ruins a girl's day/week/month!

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

Last summer I was in Home Depot returning some stuff for DH and the clerk asked me when I was due. She was mortified when I told her I wasn't pg. She just kept apologizing to me. Like other posters I carry most of my extra weight on my stomach and the new "baby doll" style shirts really don't help. I put one on last night that I hadn't worn for a while and DH told me it looked like a maternity shirt. I told him that now days if I was pg I'd be wearing the tightest shirts possible to show of my "bump".

 

[MainStMandy]

I was in an elevator once and one woman reached over and physically rubbed the other woman's belly and said when are you due? She had the baby 6 months prior

I would never ever ask!!

 

[elgerber]

This has happened to me a couple of times. The last time was a couple years back at work. A sales rep for one of our investors was in the office. I was wearing my huge red Mickey Mouse sweatshirt. Yes, it's big and baggy, but it's warm and comfy and it gets darn cold here in the winter. She asks me when I'm due, and I tell her I'm not. Her respsonse is "oh. that sweatshirt is so horibbly unflattering" LOL. Nice cover!

 

[suejai]

I have asked someone once....and trust me once was all it took. I will NEVER ask someone that question.

I was a receptionist at the time and someone had come in to meet with someone in our office. I called the person to let them know she was there and he said it would be a few minutes. So she was sitting there waiting and that is when I asked. Yeah then he was like another 10 minutes coming to get there so we sat there in a VERY UNCOMFORTABLE silence waiting for him to come get her from my office area. It was one of the most embarrasing things I have ever done.

I've done the same thing. I've never been so embarrassed

 

[starann]

Last Oct when we were getting on the Safari ride in AK, the man loading the cars told my neice (who is 13!!!) she had to ride upfront...the back is not good for pregnant women! Now she is not one of the thin rails of a 13yo, but looks nothing like she is pregnant...she had on a tank top, so it wasn't like her clothes were baggy either.

She was so upset for the rest of the day...making remarks like "I better not eat, it will make my belly even bigger!"

 

[WDWAurora]

I got asked all the time after I had an early miscarriage and gained about 30 lbs right in the gut. We were dealing with that and infertility so it was horrible. I started saying I was just fat or I wish. In themeantime I've lost weight and don't get that as much.

 

[RitaZ.]

I learned my lesson years ago. I was paying for a purchase at a local store and was just trying to be friendly with the cashier. She was a thin girl with a noticeable belly. To me, she looked about 6 months pregnant. Well, the moment she said that she wasn't pregnant, I wanted to die. I apologized profusely, which only made me look worse. She said that she had a medical condition that caused the protruding belly and that she was used to being asked that question. I walked out of the store feeling awful.

Never again.

 

[sunlver]

I must be the strange one.. I have never asked somebody if they were pregnant or when they were due if I didnt know the person to begin with
I guess because I have been fat most of my life, and would die if somebody asked me when I wasnt pregnant.

Like why is it such a big deal to know how much a pregnant lady gains I never understood that either.

 

[si-am]

I've been asked this a few times when I'm wearing the empire waist baby doll tops that are so in style. I suppose they DO look like maternity tops!

 

[IDoDis]

I asked someone once and I will NEVER ask anyone again!

I was at a friend's house for some kind of home party like Pampered Chef or something of that nature. While I was in line to get some food, I noticed the woman in front of me had on a smocked shirt which made her look pregnant, so I thought she was.

We struck up a brief conversation about the party and then casually I asked, "So, when are you due?" She looked at me and said, "When am I due?" She was very surprised, and I could tell by her reaction that I had it all wrong. My heart starting pounding really fast, but I had a great comeback when I said, "No, I said, 'What do you do? What do you do for a living?'" She took a deep breath and said, "Oh, I do xxxxx."

I'm still not sure if she knew I had messed up or if she thought she heard me wrong. I know I'll never ask anyone that question again though!

 

[MaumeeMom]

I asked someone once and I will NEVER ask anyone again!

I was at a friend's house for some kind of home party like Pampered Chef or something of that nature. While I was in line to get some food, I noticed the woman in front of me had on a smocked shirt which made her look pregnant, so I thought she was.

We struck up a brief conversation about the party and then casually I asked, "So, when are you due?" She looked at me and said, "When am I due?" She was very surprised, and I could tell by her reaction that I had it all wrong. My heart starting pounding really fast, but I had a great comeback when I said, "No, I said, 'What do you do? What do you do for a living?'" She took a deep breath and said, "Oh, I do xxxxx."

I'm still not sure if she knew I had messed up or if she thought she heard me wrong. I know I'll never ask anyone that question again though!

Nice Save!!

 

[NCRedding]

Several years ago, I was wearing a dress that had a tie back to church. (I never understood the trend several years ago to put tie backs in almost all plus sized dresses). Anyway, the woman behind me in church started commenting about how happy she was for me. When I acted confused, she pointed to my stomach and asked "when are you due?" I told her I wasn't, I was just fat, but she acted like she didn't believe me. Our sermon that morning was on why God gave us two ears and one mouth: that we should listen twice as much as we speak. I keep wanting to turn around and ask the woman behind me: are you getting this???

 

[HeatherFeather]

I'm an ultrasound tech and I NEVER EVER mention pregnancy until I see a Dr.'s order for an OB ultrasound or a fetus is on my screen. I have learned from other people's mistakes. This is one I don't feel I need to make for myself......

 

[krcit]

I always say unless I see a head emerging from someones body, I will never ask 'When Are you due?" I've seen people do it and it's so embarrassing for everyone involved.

I can't believe that people ever comment on someones weight gain either. Years ago when I was a receptionist, a guy came in and said to me"oh, you put on a few pounds, huh?" I hadn't and was actually thin but I was so mad. I let him have it! He honestly didn't understand how rude he was until I explained it to him. My MIL is the type that will say stuff to people without regard to how rude it is. She saw my friend at a party last month and kept insisting that my friend had lost weight(she hadn't) and then when she was leaving she said to her"Now, don't lose anymore weight...I mean, unless you think you look good or something."

 

[Disneylover79]

Thank you all for sharing your stories...