Why Won't You Sit With Us?

[Babyyoda1212]

I'm super-friendly. I will talk to people in line, offer to take families pictures, or just strike up random conversations in crowds.

However, when I am sitting down to dinner I want to hear about my husband's day and he wants to hear about mine. It is "us" time and I don't want to share that with others.

 

[wizzzzzard]

For me, for a long time, it was about being shy. I got over that in the army, when I realized I didn't give a rat's behind what people thought of me. However, it was also there, that I thought that I thought along a different track than your average joe.

Now, I realize, it's probably just apathy. It's not that I don't want to sit with other people. It's that I just don't care.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I voted sit down stranger and enjoy your meal...really I think people are only strangers because they haven't met yet...I have gone to WDW decades as a solo...I love to meet people from all over the world, if you're open to talk then so am I..if not, have a nice day enjoy yourself.I have shared/traded cigarettes with people from everywhere. A few years ago I met a wonderful couple from Ireland when we did Discovery Cove at the same time..spent the day together and found out they took a cab from WDW. I drove them back & we got together every day until they left....I saw WDW through their eyes (newbies) and they had as he said Our own personal tour guide...these will be lifelong friends....how sad if that opportunity had been missed. and of course I couldn't let them go home without going to Chef Mickeys ;-)

 

[megan926]

I prefer not sharing because I am super shy!!!

If I was seated at a table with another family and they were friendly, I would be totally ok with that. I always find it hard to strike up a conversation with people that I don't know...

 

[bevgray]

Perhaps I'm hot, tired and not in the mood to hear chatter from someone I've never met. I don't like music with my meals in general so why would I enjoy hearing you yell at your 10 year old to stop teasing little sister for the 20th time? Why should I feel defensive if I'm not in a "friendly" mood and don't wish to sit with you? What some view as "friendly", I often find as rude such as asking questions that are really none of your business or telling me intimate details about your own family whom I have never met. There is a very fine line between being approachable and sharing an enjoyable experience and just being nosy and obnoxious. Many folks have not learned the distinction since some of our gentler arts of manners are no longer taught.

Those who make a living serving the public may not want to have to wear their "game face" on vacation. Perhaps they don't want to share even one precious second with the spouse just back from overseas duty with anyone else. Yes, I can hear the "buts" from here. "Well, then they should eat at one of the romantic table restaurants and not dine at the Biergarten." Maybe, but what if they became engaged at the Biergarten or love the food? Should they be denied that pleasure just because they want to sit in their own little world at the long table? Or be judged because they don't want to share every breathless word with your great-Aunt Sally who is sitting next to them?

I know in the post-60s era of "teach the world to sing in perfect harmony" that one is never supposed to admit that one is not just DYING to meet and greet every single person on the planet. However, if most of the "I LOVE to meet other people" were being honest, they'd admit that there have been occasions when they really would have preferred not to meet that particular family or group much less be seated with them at a meal. Just read some of the "rude and obnoxious behavior" posts on this board alone.

As to the "Americans keep a bigger bubble around them", so what? If I go abroad, I assume that I'll learn the customs of the land I am visiting and act accordingly (which means in certain countries accepting the fact the people will be standing next to me a heck of a lot closer). If you come to my part of the planet, I would expect the same courtesy from you rather than imply that my cultural big personal bubble is somehow incorrect behavior. We so often hear that the British are soooo reserved and the Italians are so warm and friendly. One of the friendliest people I ever met at Disney was an older woman from Yorkshire. Her excitement of Disney was genuine and so contagious it made everyone around her smile. Especially when she yelled out like a small child, "But it's MICKEY MOUSE himself!" when the characters came out. A few trips later an Italian lady made the comment that Americans were so pushy and nosy and such behavior would never happen in Florence.

Guess all I'm getting at is that polls such as this one tend to sound a little judgemental if you don't agree completely with the initial line. I mean the question itself, "why won't you sit with us", puts anyone who doesn't want to on the defensive and makes those who don't agree feel that they are somehow not behaving properly. Isn't it better to say something like "Do you prefer to eat alone or with other groups"? This topic comes up frequently on the cruise board and makes for some interesting reading.

 

[Brer Brandon]

I think after a beer or two at Biergarten, the shyness rolls away from everyone!

 

[Pugmalion1]

Never. If I see that a restaurant is family-style seating, I will not eat there unless I have a group large enough to take up the table. I don't talk to other people when on vacation, and I have no interest in doing so, aside from common pleasantries.

I am there to spend time with those I want to spend time with, whether it's just my girlfriend and me or other friends and/or family, and even then, it's nice to have our alone time. I can and do talk to plenty of new people all the time in my everyday life, but on vacation, it's all about us and no one else.

 

[Dizzyworld]

On vacation, we like to be with our family and friends. Although on a cruise, the kids like to be at a bigger table to include other people. We've never had bad table mates and have always had a lot of fun.

We have had a few occasions at WDW when we were sitting with an unknown family to have to listen to the family fuss at each other or just not talk at all. Awkward. It's times like this that make you want to be in your own space.

 

[Jennasis]

Because we are not censoring ourselves for anyone else. Our sense of humor is bawdy and occassionally infantile (fart jokes aplenty). Likewise, since we cannot choose our table-mates atthose restaurants, we do not want to share a table with either rude adults or any children. So we don't go to those restuarants.

 

[kmk1180]

Respectfully, that's awfully judgmental about someone one doesn't even know and who may not even be aware they're doing something 'offensive' (chewing with mouth open). It may well be the judging person or a member of their party with the bad habit or percieved (or preconcieved) "personal hygiene" issue... and by doing so, they may miss out on meeting a truly amazing person or family.

Respectively, this is more rude.
Just because someone wants a little privacy and time with their family doesn't make them rude.
Being in a public place like WDW doesn't mean everyone in the public wants to hear what you think.
I personally find it more rude for someone to butt into our family time.
You might get tons of time with your kids but not everyone is that fortunate and a family vacation is a great time to connect with your kids
They might want to enjoy what time they have to hear what their own kids think over a stranger you'll never see again after that meal is over.

In truth, we prefer the absolute most private table we can get in any restaurant. Booths are preferable. We aren't anti-social, but we don't need to hear your conversations just like you don't need to hear my kids laugh themselves silly over fart jokes. Meals with my family are important- I don't really want to give a mini-bio with each meal. (Whatsyernamewhereyafromwhatchado?) If you catch me on a Disney bus/monorail/bathroom line? I may just talk your ear off.

Agreed and well said.
Except I really don't want to my kids fart joke either.

 

[PSUGuy]

We've had 2 dinners at Biergarten and 4 at Teppan and we're 4 for 6. Two meals at Teppan stand out. During one, we were seated with a couple from Holland and another from Indiana. The entire meal, the Holland hubby bent the ears of the Indy couple on the most minute, boring details of his import/export business, you could tell they just wanted to be left to their meal, they couldn't enjoy the show the chef put on, we were happy to be at the other end of the table, out of range.

The other meal featured us paired up with a family from La., hubby, wife and several kids in the teen years who were obviously embarassed to be seen with their parents. The hubby was outgoing and we exchanged pleasantries with him, the wife seemed to be mentally tallying up the cost of the meal the whole time and said nothing to us, the kids were stone statues.

In short, we enjoy meeting diners who enjoy meeting others themselves, but sometimes you get dealt a bore or stick in the mud, the bores are worse, so we don't do these seatings unless our extended family is along and we dominate or completely fill a table.

Bill From PA

 

[burberryplaid]

My husband is extremely shy and I have a fear of being judged.

 

[Uncleromulus]

This will sound funny I know.
Mrs U and I eat dinner at the bar in every restaurant where that's possible. Yet--we're not fond of sitting with others at places such as the Japanese and German restaurants.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

No offense to anyone but I prefer to spend my vacation with my family and friends, not making small talk with strangers.
DH and I are not shy at all. We just don't find dining with strangers enjoyable. Some people do. Different strokes.

 

[cherjp]

All you america folks could talk to me all day long, i just love listening to your accents. Love to chat to people in the queues, my kids will say do you know those people? hahahaha ! As I love to talk, but sometimes i am aware that you dont understand my accent ( Scottish ) and often get mistaken for Irish or the worst sin which is ENGLISH !

 

[prttynpnk]

MNy husband is very gregarious and will take your pictures, offer advise, let you know your shoe is coming untied in line, yes, the ears will be talked off your donkey- I on the other hand am pretty shy and prefer a corner seat with good people watching, but I think the family style seating adds to the experience, so hey, pass that platter.

 

[cbg1027]

As to the "Americans keep a bigger bubble around them", so what? If I go abroad, I assume that I'll learn the customs of the land I am visiting and act accordingly (which means in certain countries accepting the fact the people will be standing next to me a heck of a lot closer). If you come to my part of the planet, I would expect the same courtesy from you rather than imply that my cultural big personal bubble is somehow incorrect behavior.

I didn't imply it was 'incorrect' behavior. Simply observing the differences between cultures and how they interact with one another.

I think it's mostly just a cultural difference. Most Americans see sharing your restaurant table as weird and an invasion of space and privacy. I'm not saying that's wrong - just pointing out why I think it is.

 

[PlutoLuvr]

All you america folks could talk to me all day long, i just love listening to your accents. Love to chat to people in the queues, my kids will say do you know those people? hahahaha ! As I love to talk, but sometimes i am aware that you dont understand my accent ( Scottish ) and often get mistaken for Irish or the worst sin which is ENGLISH !

See, now? I love listening to Scottish accents. I'd love nothing more than to be seated at Biergarten with a group of Scots and enjoy a flight together.

You know how there's the fridge swap here and the dining cancel areas of the boards? There should be an area for "communal seating ADRs" here, too. Those of us who like to sit with strangers can check the dining dates and sign into a "group" and once the number hits eight, book for Biergarten. We can even have subcategories: Lushes, Kids, Seniors, etc.

On arrival day, meet at the pretzel cart in front of Germany, and once everyone's there, go check in.

At least we'd have a pretty good chance of sitting with folks who like communal seating.

 

[Harlie]

I don't mind people sitting with us. I am more shy and take longer to warm up and I suck at finding good conversation topics. IE i will say exactly "soo ahhh how about that local sports team" really ackwardly and grin and then try to follow up with "Have you ever heard the gastronomical bean story" or some random usless fact

My DH rocks at making conversation with random strangers so I just let him My kids too are talkers and strike up conversations with people at restaurants or standing in lines.

We tend to wear our Rider gear when on vacations, we find it makes us approachable lol!

As for us sitting at a table that already has people sitting at it, That I find SUPER uncomfortable. I feel like I am intruding on someone elses territory. So if we are there sit away but we likly will not ask to sit at a table with someone else already there.

 

[Luvchefmic]

All you america folks could talk to me all day long, i just love listening to your accents. Love to chat to people in the queues, my kids will say do you know those people? hahahaha ! As I love to talk, but sometimes i am aware that you dont understand my accent ( Scottish ) and often get mistaken for Irish or the worst sin which is ENGLISH !

Love it ! Well actually YOU are the ones with the accents okay I have one too Brooklyn NY all the way....FWIW my maternal Grandfather was born in Glasgow & if I hear the accent I gravitate to you..

See, now? I love listening to Scottish accents. I'd love nothing more than to be seated at Biergarten with a group of Scots and enjoy a flight together.

You know how there's the fridge swap here and the dining cancel areas of the boards? There should be an area for "communal seating ADRs" here, too. Those of us who like to sit with strangers can check the dining dates and sign into a "group" and once the number hits eight, book for Biergarten. We can even have subcategories: Lushes, Kids, Seniors, etc.

On arrival day, meet at the pretzel cart in front of Germany, and once everyone's there, go check in.

At least we'd have a pretty good chance of sitting with folks who like communal seating.

Great idea PlutoLuvr ! Start a thread