First, my children are not ADHD, but I would like to learn a little more about this subject.
My great nephew (10) has been on medication for years for ADHD. He has had what I would call a rough home life. My sister (his grandmother) was raising him for a couple of those years. He's now back with his mom, but they're both going to move back with my sister in a few month (when boyfriend goes to jail). His mom has had issues with drugs and drinking and my sister isn't much better. No surprise, but he is a troubled kid. He is mean talking, self absorbed, has daredevil behavior, physically mean to others, and has to be the center of attention. He does fine in school but started school a year late due to behavior concerns. He plays soccer and is pretty good at it, however, he has no friends AT ALL. He was like this prior to meds and is like this after meds.
Let me also say that he has very very little discipline at home. There is NO consistency. And he gets whatever he wants whenever he wants it. He always has to have better and more than my kids.
He is "active" but is able to sit and watch TV or sit and play video games. He will also read or play with
Lego's. He seems to have difficulty sitting when it's something he doesn't want to do.
Is this normal ADHD behavior?
I have to admit that there are many times that my DH and I think that the ADHD medication is an excuse for his mom. She admits to giving him extra doses on occasion to get him to "chill out". Yes, for him, he zones out, like a zombie, when given double meds.
They're actually her right now, in our pool, because the mom "didn't want to deal with him today". When they're home alone, he's in his room "playing" ALL DAY LONG. He also has a TV in his bedroom and watch whatever he wants to. To me, he seems to just "go wild" when he's given some freedom.
Here's the thing, when he is at our house BY HIMSELF and UNDER SUPERVISION, he is fine. Still not exactly the most likeable kid, but I chalk that up to his homelife. One thing is for sure, at our house, rules are rules, no matter who you are. He seems to be able to deal with that and obide by that (as long as we're watching). He can even play boardgames with us (but he HATES to lose).
I sincerely don't want to affend anyone with my post and I truly believe that any reasonably good parent would always do what's best for their child. I'm just puzzled over the inconsistent behavior.
Is this what ADHD looks like? Is it normal to be able to focus on some things and not others?
I know several other kids on meds for ADHD (through a kids program my DH and I are involved in). They have loving and caring parents that didn't "rush" into any decisions for meds. I'm not questioning that there are many children benefitting from ADHD meds and therapy.
I'm just wondering if my DH and I are WAY off base in questioning my nephew being medicated. Oh, they have adjusted the dosage up and down, so I don't think it's a case of him needing a higher dose. Honestly, I think it's a case of needing some consistent, caring, discipline and ATTENTION (especially for positive behavior).