1GoldenSun
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2017
- Messages
- 2,225
I have an 11-year-old son who doesn't wear underwear. He did when he was very little and basically did what I told him. Sometime around first grade he started coming home with his underwear in his book bag. He told me that he would go to the bathroom and take it off. Even worse, he'd sometimes come home not wearing the underwear he left for school in but they weren't in his book bag either. He could never tell me where he'd left them. Eventually he just stopped putting the underwear on in the morning. He says he doesn't like the way it feels. He's not autistic or anything like that but he does have some sensory issues about clothing.
I tried getting him back in his underwear. I took him shopping and let him pick out whatever underwear he wanted, but he didn't wear what we bought. He wears basketball style shorts all the time, which are long enough that there would never be any accidental...visibility...and he wears clean shorts every day, so honestly I didn't feel this was a hill to die on.
He starts middle school this fall, plus he's going to sleepaway camp for the first time this summer. I'd like him to start wearing underwear by then.
He's countered all my arguments about hygiene and accidentally exposing himself. And since I don't really think those are a problem myself it's hard to argue. I told him that as he gets older and his body develops, sweat and body odor will become more of an issue, and underwear is kind of an extra line of defense. He said that any way you look at it he's walking around in his own sweat and whatever odors he's producing, because nobody changes their underwear multiple times a day. I said that at camp and in gym class he'll have to change in front of the other kids, and he wouldn't want to be completely exposed, and he said that he'd have to take the underwear off to shower anyway. I asked what he'd do if his shorts were to tear, and he said that first of all that has never ever happened, and if it did he would hold them together with his hand until he could change into new ones.
I really don't know how to argue my point. Of course, I could just say "suck it up, you're wearing them" and he would , but I like to be able to give a reason behind what I make my kids do. I personally find it more comfortable wearing underwear than not, but he doesn't, plus I often wear my pants more than once before I wash them, but he doesn't.
Can you think of what I can say to convince him of the necessity of wearing underwear? IS it even necessary?
I tried getting him back in his underwear. I took him shopping and let him pick out whatever underwear he wanted, but he didn't wear what we bought. He wears basketball style shorts all the time, which are long enough that there would never be any accidental...visibility...and he wears clean shorts every day, so honestly I didn't feel this was a hill to die on.
He starts middle school this fall, plus he's going to sleepaway camp for the first time this summer. I'd like him to start wearing underwear by then.
He's countered all my arguments about hygiene and accidentally exposing himself. And since I don't really think those are a problem myself it's hard to argue. I told him that as he gets older and his body develops, sweat and body odor will become more of an issue, and underwear is kind of an extra line of defense. He said that any way you look at it he's walking around in his own sweat and whatever odors he's producing, because nobody changes their underwear multiple times a day. I said that at camp and in gym class he'll have to change in front of the other kids, and he wouldn't want to be completely exposed, and he said that he'd have to take the underwear off to shower anyway. I asked what he'd do if his shorts were to tear, and he said that first of all that has never ever happened, and if it did he would hold them together with his hand until he could change into new ones.
I really don't know how to argue my point. Of course, I could just say "suck it up, you're wearing them" and he would , but I like to be able to give a reason behind what I make my kids do. I personally find it more comfortable wearing underwear than not, but he doesn't, plus I often wear my pants more than once before I wash them, but he doesn't.
Can you think of what I can say to convince him of the necessity of wearing underwear? IS it even necessary?
