why is middle school so hard on kids?

[RitaZ.]

But then magically just before they head into the 9th grade they begin to remember who they are and who their parents are. It is the most amazing sight to behold.

Tara, I'm holding you to this...

This year has been rough for DS and us. This is the first year that he really has had to study and he isn't liking it. DH insists on having the right environment in order to study, so he takes DS to the library on the weekends to teach him study skills, it really does work.

The social pressure is great; one day a kid is your friend, the next he isn't talking to you anymore. I think it's worse for the girls though, they are very cruel to one another. My DS has asked me several times why some girls are such snobs. There is one girl in one of his classes that is used to getting her way. She is verbally abusive and will intimidate others to get her way, she has no respect for the rights of others. Boys have to be especially careful how they interact and respond to her, I can see this girl claiming sexual harassment or something along those lines. One time, she was screaming so loudly at DS that she spit on his face. When he told her what she had done, she said "So?" I told DS to stay away from her. Unfortunately, the teacher is turning away from the problem.

I can't wait for this year to be over... to think that he has 2 more years of this and I have 2 younger children that will experience MS in a few years.

 

[sharbear]

This has been a tough year, I have a DD in the 8th grade. Girls can be so cruel. And it's been hard academically also, I wonder if the social problems are spilling over to the school part. I have an older son and it didn't seem to have as hard of a time socially.

 

[Cindy B]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
my 6th grader has been having issues with some of her formerly-very-close friends. they've been ignoring her for the last two days. I guess that's better than open hostility.

older dd just finished a very complicated negotiation regarding who was going to sit in which seat at lunch.

open hostility is very very common as well as ignorance.
Middle school is a very scary place espeically for 6th graders.

My 6th grade students were so cute and innocent.. and then they changed...

 

[antbritt]

Well I guess that this thread tells us that we as parents are not alone. Sometimes I think that the kids need to feel the same.
I just sometmes wonder what the parents of the people who are nasty think about their kids??? Are they aware of what their child is doing??? Did they let them run the house and think they were the only person who mattered???
I know that my DD' s " friend " haha has always been nasty to her mom. And had the run of the house.
There seems to be a group of girls that think that they are better then others/ I myself never went to Middle school (private school) and I did not experience this stuff.
Well you know the old saying ........ " What does not Kill you makes you stronger""" I guess some strong people are formed in Middle school!!!!

 

[Kitty 34]

Junior High can be a vicious zone. That's why I love subbing 6th thru 8th......I always try to offer a safe haven for the conflicts that especially go on out in the hallsways between classes and at lunch.

 

[elgerber]

My son starts middle school in the fall, and I am terrified. He is small for his age, and had ADHD and he's gifted, so he already doesn't fit in. My dd is only in second grade and she already has girls in her class that have formed cliques. Her teacher said it's the first time she's ever seen that in girls so young. Kids can be so cruel it's awful!!

Erika

 

[bobcat]

Why do you think I teach middle school! It's cheap therapy for all the h*ll I went through in Jr. High myself. LOL

Hormones are key here. At this age everything is a drama. Makes life interesting for sure! My DD starts Jr. High next year and I know what's coming. I've been able to hold of the worst of it so far but I am really dreading the change that will happen next year. It's like having some split personality child that you hope will revert to their sweet self before they leave home for good. It's so much easier to deal with other people's kids.

 

[ShuisFan584]

I hated middle school and thought it was part of the worst years of my life. I wasn't very popular and well liked by other students. I was teased and had people gang up on me, mostly at the bus stop and on the bus. I also lost a couple friends in middle school. All the teasing unfortunately affected how I felt about myself all through high school. I'm pretty much better now, but I really wish I never had to go through the whole middle school experience. Some kids are just very immature at that age and feel it's necessary to pick on others to make them feel better about themselves, or to make them feel more popular.

 

[Dancind]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
my 6th grader has been having issues with some of her formerly-very-close friends. they've been ignoring her for the last two days. I guess that's better than open hostility.

Actually, it's worse. Girls become masters at hidden bullying at this age. Shunning, rumors, note passing, whispering, clever disses, are all part of the game. My DD went through hell in 6th grade at the hands of her "friends". At least if it's overt bullying, you can do something about it. This is more devastating and impossible to do anything about. One consolation, girls in mid-school are popular because they're mean. By High School, it usually doesn't work anymore. DD is in 7th grade now, and by some blessing, she has no classes or lunch with any of her former friends. She has new friends now, and they are much nicer.

Diana

 

[chadfromdallas]

I loved middle school

Class clown here kindergarden to 12th grade

Those were the days....

So easy....

No job...

Girls, notes, skating ring....

Back when a the words "I'm late" was something heard in class...

Anyways...continue with yalls thread

 

[poohandwendy]

I agree, MS is horrible. I think the hormones, the growth differences etc...MS is just an awkward transitional age for most kids, IMO. I really think HS is easier on most of them, for a few reasons (at least in my area):

For one, in HS, kids usually have leveled out somewhat on the hormone front. They tend to have matured a great deal, which helps them not only cope with the stupid disagreements, but cause less of them too. They also have more opportunities to branch out and expand their group of friends outside of school (due to driving and part time jobs). This gives them to be less dependent on the drama of the school goings-on. Many kids (but not all) seem to be less bothered or involved in the 'popularity' junk. Their activities and busy schedules leave less time for all the BS.

And last but not least, when they start to pair of in opposite sex relationships....they tend to have less constant (attached at the hip) interaction with their buddies. (may not sound like a plus, but IMO it is)

I know these things aren't true for all kids, and HS still has it's share of problems. But, in my experience (and talking to the teachers I know in MS and HS) it does seem to get a little bit better....ESPECIALLY the last few years of HS where they have really matured and are thinking more about the future than petty things.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Originally posted by Dancind

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
my 6th grader has been having issues with some of her formerly-very-close friends. they've been ignoring her for the last two days. I guess that's better than open hostility.

Actually, it's worse. Girls become masters at hidden bullying at this age. Shunning, rumors, note passing, whispering, clever disses, are all part of the game. My DD went through hell in 6th grade at the hands of her "friends". At least if it's overt bullying, you can do something about it. This is more devastating and impossible to do anything about. One consolation, girls in mid-school are popular because they're mean. By High School, it usually doesn't work anymore. DD is in 7th grade now, and by some blessing, she has no classes or lunch with any of her former friends. She has new friends now, and they are much nicer.

Diana

I'm sorry that your daughters are struggling with mean friends this year. Seems to me though that some of these girls carry their meanness right on into adulthood.
I didn't enjoy the shunning, rumors, note passing, whispering and clever disses as a young teen and I don't enjoy them as an adult.
My thoughts are to teach your daughters how NOT to be victims of the bullies because they're gonna run into them everywhere, not just in school.

At least with summer coming along, your daughters might get a break to be away from the snotty girls.

Best of luck to you and them.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am sorry that most of you are having a rough time in Middle School. My dd (7th) has finally found her niche. She can't wait to do to school everyday.

I wonder if it is because of the school? The teachers, principals are "in charge" and are great!

Do you think it is the school atmosphere that makes a difference? or is it the kid?

 

[antbritt]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
my 6th grader has been having issues with some of her formerly-very-close friends. they've been ignoring her for the last two days. I guess that's better than open hostility.

Actually, it's worse. Girls become masters at hidden bullying at this age. Shunning, rumors, note passing, whispering, clever disses, are all part of the game. My DD went through hell in 6th grade at the hands of her "friends". At least if it's overt bullying, you can do something about it. This is more devastating and impossible to do anything about. One consolation, girls in mid-school are popular because they're mean. By High School, it usually doesn't work anymore. DD is in 7th grade now, and by some blessing, she has no classes or lunch with any of her former friends. She has new friends now, and they are much nicer.

Diana
----------------------------------
Boy I try to teach my DD that in the end if she holds her head up and keeps her mind focused that she can overcome anything ,But when she gets upset about al the vackstabbing and yes undertomed BULLYING by these so called friends it is so hard to have to be a bystander in her life! I have told her that these mean people will no make TRUE friends and everntually that they will have no one but each other to stab in the baclk. My DD is bright and does quite well academically but she is so shy and introverted that she becomes the target. Her real problem stems from this 1 girl who is by my DD 's accounts mean to everyone yet for some reason the kids stand by her ( I guess they dont want to be the target of her meanness more then they are). It is hard for her not to be around the kid as she lives down the block so she is on the bus and since she knew us before she moved here her mother went to the school and requested she be in my DD 's class!!! Well she is not in her class buit is in her section of the school and eats lunch with her and is every wheree my dd goes!! So she cant avoid her. A few years back her mother evven sent her to the same camp!! and once again requested she be in the same group!! So funny is all this that this kid treats my daughter like she is junk and yet she keeps trying to be in her life!! I dont get it. I wanted to go to the school and have my DD switched to a different section of the school but that is not the answer either as she has to learn that people like this kid are everywhere in life ( unfortunately) ... I just wish that she did not have to learn it this way by being hurt by someone that pretends to be ur friend when it suits them.

 

[BobbinWeez]

One word...puberty...it screws everything up