While I do believe that an 85th birthday deserves special attention I see no reason why it should come from Disney. Why can't it come from her family? Have a fruit basket waiting in the room for grandmom. Can't cost that much and what a small price to pay for an 85th birthday. As for parents wanting a kid's birthday special, order some balloons and have them waiting in the room. If the kid is that special then the parent should be falling all over themselves to make the day special. For my little girl I wanted to surprise her with a gift left from Minnie Mouse. I placed it in the room when she wasn't around. She got her gift and I didn't have to ask anyone for it. It was extra special because it came from someone who loves her. I still think it is tacky to mention it while making reservations, PSs or anything else. If the occasion is so special then by all means buy something for the person. 
