Why do the holidays bring out the worst??

[ajwomic]

Why does this time of year bring out the worst in families? My mother informed me today that she would not be coming to Christmas this year because she has decided that she does not love her mother, my grandmother, and never has and that she is tired of putting on a happy face. I just get frustrated because she always references stuff that happened 40 years ago. For example, she will say, my mother slapped me when I was 18. Or she sent me to school with mono. The problem I have is that she slapped me when I was a teen and I when I remind her of that she says, "well that was different." She can cut off my grandmother if she chooses, but I just resent that her reasons are things she did to me and worse. (she continued to date someone who was molesting me). I have forgiven and try to mend that relationship even thought I know we will never be close, but I just hate being put in the middle of my mother and grandmother. I know there are times when people may need to cut someone out of their life, but there is also a time to grow up and get over yourself!! Good grief ! Thanks for letting me vent!!
Alicia

 

[MAKmom]

Why does this time of year bring out the worst in families? My mother informed me today that she would not be coming to Christmas this year because she has decided that she does not love her mother, my grandmother, and never has and that she is tired of putting on a happy face. I just get frustrated because she always references stuff that happened 40 years ago. For example, she will say, my mother slapped me when I was 18. Or she sent me to school with mono. The problem I have is that she slapped me when I was a teen and I when I remind her of that she says, "well that was different." She can cut off my grandmother if she chooses, but I just resent that her reasons are things she did to me and worse. (she continued to date someone who was molesting me). I have forgiven and try to mend that relationship even thought I know we will never be close, but I just hate being put in the middle of my mother and grandmother. I know there are times when people may need to cut someone out of their life, but there is also a time to grow up and get over yourself!! Good grief ! Thanks for letting me vent!!
Alicia

Your mother is a skank you are better off having no relationship with her.

Your mother's job was to protect you her child. She did not do that.

 

[cruellababy]

Your mother is a skank you are better off having no relationship with her.

Your mother's job was to protect you her child. She did not do that.

Have to agree w that! And you have no reason to stress over her issues-enjoy your hoidays w your loved ones; and leave the drama by the side of the road.

 

[Mom2Nick]

Sounds like a blessing in disguise. Enjoy your Christmas

 

[ajwomic]

Well, we are still going to her house, so it is not that. I just hate the way they bicker to me about each other. I Have chose to forgive and live my life at peace with others as much as it is up to me because bitterness will destroy ME! So I get frustrated with others creating drama and dredging me into theirs! Thanks for the support!
Alicia

 

[MAKmom]

You can forgive & let go without having a relationship with someone who abused you.

 

[ajwomic]

It is a choice. She is regrets it and I forgiver her. The only reason I mentioned it is because I have a hard time with her judging her mother so much for MUCH lesser offense. You would think that one one forgiven much would forgive much in return.
Alicia

 

[MAKmom]

I see your point.

You know when you have a really dysfunctional family your level of weird changes.

everytime something bizarre happens it makes the next bizarre thing seem ....normal.


It is a very hard thing to change so generation after generation has what I call high drama lives. Break the cycle.

 

[Stacerita]

It is a choice. She is regrets it and I forgiver her. The only reason I mentioned it is because I have a hard time with her judging her mother so much for MUCH lesser offense. You would think that one one forgiven much would forgive much in return.
Alicia

Are you sure there are not others reasons that your mother has not told you? There could be something more that she isn't letting on to. Not that I am siding with her, its just something to think about is all.

I have to give it to you though. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. Not all of us have it in us.

 

[teacups]

Dont make her problems your problems.

Merry Christmas!