Why do some people feel the need to be nasty?

[Feralpeg]

Maybe the secret to keeping it friendly is to just turn the other cheek and not sink to the level of the person being nasty.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I also think that the Internet, being an anonymous venue, lends itself to more nastiness.

Most of the folks who post nasty, insulting or mean-spirited things wouldn't have the "guts" to say the same thing to someone's face.

Really, those type of folks should be pitied. Kind of sad not to have a backbone or the courage of your convictions, but instead to have to hide behind anonymity.

I think this happens a lot.

I also think there is this strange phenomenon that happens on Dis (and places like it) when you agree with someone they are your "friend" when you don't, your enemy. This is not how life works. Many of my "friends" I don't agree with (or them with me.) Just not agreeing with someone doesn't make then against you either.

I don't know why it is so easy to takes things so personally on the internet too. Sometimes I need to just walk away.

Also I have noticed (in real life and interent) that some times when we think we are disagreeing with someone, we just aren't understanding them well, or expressing ourselves well. Communication is work.

Oh and I have to say, thank God for smilies. Sometimes I can't type with out them. I have been known to cut and paste them into my emails.

 

[DMRick]

I think this happens a lot.

I also think there is this strange phenomenon that happens on Dis (and places like it) when you agree with someone they are your "friend" when you don't, your enemy.

I also notice a lot that if we agree with the OP (on any of the threads, not meaning this thread..not that I'm saying I don't agree with the OP of this thread..well, you know what I mean), and someone else doesn't, they then get upset and say you are friends with the OP and that's why you agree. Heck someone just has to check out a few other posts and they can see..nope, I didn't agree with them the last time they posted LOL.
I also find it interesting when someone gets nasty, they often say.."ok, this isn't getting anywhere (or maybe they should say, no one is agreeing with me), this is the last time I'm posting on this thread..and gee, just a few posts later, there they are again ..but they aren't any nicer LOL!
But my biggest pet peeve when someone gets nasty, is that they didn't read the OP, and are trying to argue what the post isn't even about. Those types of posts usually end up locked.

Just as an aside..I may not agree with you, but I also seldom remember who you are I don't agree with. I don't take not agreeing personal, and I'll be happy to chat with you on the next post. So if you think I'm being nasty because I don't like you..heck, I don't even remember who you are

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think you are a boring housewife. Least...that's what I hear...

Yeah, I heard that, too!

Don't ever play the tell me what you really think game. My Mom & her friends got me with that game

MAKmom, I think there's a story there.

 

[MAKmom]

Yeah, I heard that, too!




MAKmom, I think there's a story there.

Late 1980's on the bay in Sea Isle. Girls weekend drinks & board games.

Mom's BFF has a sister you could slap. Topics I remember, hair color, career, education, choice in men, trying to save the world.

Mom lets BFF sister push her around. I don't....as Mom says I have a mouth on me.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Having a mouth on you is a good thing! It's how a person uses the mouth, of course, that can get them into trouble, but people shouldn't let themselves get walked on, either. Like the song, "You've got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them..."

 

[grinningghost]

So the bottom line here is this - when a person is rude to someone else for no good reason, I just wonder why.

Personally, I don't give a rip if they're rude to me on an internet message board - it won't ruin my life - but I'm just interested in why they do it?

I guess I'm being a little too deep.

And I guess the answer lies in a world far, far from here - (to paraphrase a Joseph/Dreamcoat tune).

And since we can't seem to figure out why they do it, let's just say it's a mystery never to be solved.

 

[cardaway]

Why "they" do it. Still going with the idea that there is some small minority that is ruining it for everybody?

I can tell you why I speak my mind, likely resulting in me being seen as one of the nasty ones by others. Most of the time I'm responding to something I find equally as nasty or rude. One doesn't have to use naughty or harsh words to be vulgar or nasty. I've seen many the long winded (but clean) post totally dressing and talking down to the person they are responding to. I've even seen the mods doing this in their last words before closing a post.

I think it's a site wide problem, one I feel is in the mods hands, not something that somebody is going to make better by claiming it's everybody else. I think I saw somebody mention once again that they should bring back the debate board. I couldn't agree more. When the "nasty" ones all go there the CB can go back to being the exchange, game, and fluff board that a different group of people read every day. But like before, there will still be locked threads because not all the nasty ones are who people think they are.

 

[grinningghost]

cardaway, "speaking your mind" is one thing, but doing so in a nasty way is quite another. I agree, you are one who speaks your mind, but I wouldn't classify you as nasty, just outspoken. Big difference.

Nasty would be something like this:

OP says "I don't like watermelon. It tastes really bad."

Next poster says - "Posts like this are stupid. If you don't like watermelon, don't eat it."

Now the next poster COULD have said something like "I love watermelon, it's my favorite fruit". There is absolutely NO reason to include the "Posts like this are stupid" line. No reason. That's the kind of thing that puzzles me. Disagreeing is one thing, but doing so in a way that attacks someone else boggles my mind.

 

[cardaway]

Now the next poster COULD have said something like "I love watermelon, it's my favorite fruit". There is absolutely NO reason to include the "Posts like this are stupid" line. No reason. That's the kind of thing that puzzles me. Disagreeing is one thing, but doing so in a way that attacks someone else boggles my mind.

So is it the word stupid? I don't disagree with you completely but I would disagree that the use of one word makes something nasty. I see plenty of posts that are just as nasty where somebody has pulled out their thesaurus on took two pargraphs to say essentially the same thing.

IMO this whole feeling people are getting (and I do feel it too) is because people are vocally disagreeing rather than just hitting the back button and keeping the disagreement to themselves. I don't see it as just people being short and using harsh language though. Just as many people are doing the same thing, with more wordy posts, and then pointing fingers at others.

If the question is whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. I say good. I wouldn't (didn't) read the CB if (when) there was a lot more one sided discussions.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

We're not talking about Sylvester, if that's who you mean. It's someone else--honestly.

That is what I thought you meant.

Now I'm clueless! Again, not the first time!

I didn't know there had been a debate board. But have often thought they should start a "fight board" where people could fight stuff out. Sounds like a good idea to me!

 

[disneymom3]

I still trying to figure out who was disrespectful to women. I can't figure out who that was. ????? Maybe my mouse buddy will let me in on that...

Patti, I know you aren't seeking these responses but, I think you are very nice!!

Me too! I never catch onto these changed poster names. Apparently I am just a ditz cause I always assume it is some new obnoxious person.

I agree that tolerance has reached a new low on the DIS lately. There seem to be an abundance of attacking posts on threads that not only start out light hearted but those that are seeking information. Two very recently on the Family Board which were asking about babysitting etc, brought out those folks who feel the need to tell you you are a bad parent if anyone else ever spends time with your children. If you don't have an answer to the question, don't answer! I don't get the point of belittling other people. It's not like they were putting their children in danger and asking if people thought they should bring them when they go out to get drunk and then drive home.

 

[grimley1968]

I said earlier that a "bad moon is rising." I think it is in full view right over the DIS currently. There is a thread in Resorts today, where the OP asked why people feel the need to "bash" on the Contemporary so much. I agree it is bashed to a degree, but I posted that it's not bashing the CR if your opinion is that it's just ugly, which happens to be my opinion. I then said that I'd never stayed there, so I don't know much about the rooms, but I couldn't imagine they'd be that much better than any other Deluxe resort rooms to offset how unappealing I find the looks of the CR to be.

Well, the OP did NOT like that at all. The OP said (while quoting me) that I was "bashing the rooms" at CR, which I never did. I just criticized the exterior of the resort. The OP then went on to say that "it's people like you I hate" (bold emphasis mine). I responded back, basically telling the OP to read the posts he/she was incorrect in attributing thoughts to me which I had never posted. And I did confront the "hate" thing. I could not believe someone would post on a public message board that he/she "hates" people who criticize a resort.

A moderator deleted the "hate" part of the OP's post, for good reason, I guess. However, the OP is quoted later on by me and others, so the original post is still there for all to read.

It's unbelievable how personally people can take a simple disagreement over architectural style, such as what the Contemporary inevitably will trigger.

I've been told by people they "hate" me before, but a) it hasn't been since I was about 12 years old and b) never for a reason so ridiculous as saying I think the Contemporary is ugly.

 

[luvmydogs]

That is what I thought you meant.

Now I'm clueless! Again, not the first time!

I didn't know there had been a debate board. But have often thought they should start a "fight board" where people could fight stuff out. Sounds like a good idea to me!

I miss the DB a lot. It was convenient having all the debates in one place, and you knew what you could possibly be in for if you posted there (I was nothing but a lurker there, tho'!). It's just the nature of the beast for debates to get heated, and to a degree it's expected. When the DB was nixed, there were some who didn't like the DB "regulars" bringing the issues to the CB, and people complained. I never minded that there are debates on the CB--it's just they were so much easier to find and follow when they were all grouped together as one.

I bet you would've really enjoyed the old DB.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

I bet you would've really enjoyed the old DB.

I don't do political debates. Eek.

But I jump in a lot when the old, "Christians are evil as well as stupid" thing comes up. And, when they're going after GAY PENGUINS!!!! Can't have THAT, now can we?

 

[luvmydogs]

I don't do political debates. Eek.

But I jump in a lot when the old, "Christians are evil as well as stupid" thing comes up. And, when they're going after GAY PENGUINS!!!! Can't have THAT, now can we?

Although I read it everyday, I never once posted on the DB as I suffer from Thin Skin Syndrome...But if someone were to go after the Gay Penguin Contingent! Oh, yeah, baby--I'd be all over 'em like white on rice!

 

[azgal81]

I think that because there are so many different people here alot of people have different opinions about what is offense or not. I think it's easy to blow things way out of porportion on here as well. I know I have said some things that other posters haven't agreed with but not everyone is going to have the same opinion as everyone. I also think if you don't want someones honest opinion and get hurt when they give it you not you just generally you shouldn't ask for it.

I try not to be nasty to people on purpose that's not my intention things just get blown out of porportion alot. I also think that if you dont' agree with someone your comments are considered mean some people think their opinion is the only way to go.

It's all part of the disboard experience!

 

[grinningghost]

Really then, what it all comes back to, is the loss of the Debate Board. I can't even remember how long it's been since it was here - jeez, has it been 3, maybe 4 years now?

I miss the DB too. I enjoyed it, because when you ventured into that territory, you knew to wear your suit of armor, but you shouldn't feel the need to wear it to the CB.

But, for as long as the DB has been gone, the request has been put in to bring it back. Repeatedly, the answer has been "no", and I suspect it will stay that way. So I guess we must learn to endure the hurtful remarks or don't bother posting at all.

I, for one, am not afraid to take the hits, I just feel bad that they even have to exist on a friendly little Disney board.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I, for one, am not afraid to take the hits, I just feel bad that they even have to exist on a friendly little Disney board.

Me, either, but how about on the DIS?

 

[bananiem]

I don't think it's due to the loss of the Debate Board. the person I've been nasty to the last few days, well...Lots of others have been just as nasty if not more so. But we're trying to get her to see the damage that she's done to her son. That they need help. It's not a topic that would have been on the Debate Board.