Why do parents insist on bringing gifts when the invite says "No Gifts!"

[clh2]

I'm curious - is your DD turning 16? (My DD's 16th b-day is coming up - and I just checked out the melting pot website. That sounds like fun!!! But I LOVE chocolate!!!)

From a parental stand point - the "no gifts" makes perfect sense. I followed the specific invite directions where "no gifts" was requested, and DD was the only one with no present for the birthday child. I am not ever going through that again. (It probably didn't help at this party that the mom let the b-day boy open the presents at the party.)

We did get a family invite for a nephew - ~10 years ago - and the parents also requested "no-gifts". We adopted an animal from the zoo for 1- year for my nephew, and him and his family got to go to special "adopter" nights at the zoo. That was the perfect compromise. The animal we adopted was definitely something my nephew could relate to - some sort of a musky or other type of fish that is native to Wis. (My BIL and nephew are hunter/fisher people.)

 

[Bluestars]

I took my child to a birthday party once where there was something stated in the invitation that all the gifts were going to be donated to charity. The birthday boy opened all of the gifts, but didn't get to keep any. It was kind of sad for him, but I guess the parents were using it as a teaching moment for the child.

There was another party held for two kids. The parents had rented a room and held a dance with a dj. They stated that all gifts were going to be donated to charity and requested that the gifts be given unwrapped. In this case, the birthday kids didn't open anything. All the gifts were put in an area off to the side of the room. The entire grade was invited to this party, so I can see why the parents wouldn't want their kids to have all these gifts.

My kids have never been to a birthday party where there was a request for no gifts. I think that a request being made for no gifts for a children's party might make the guests feel a bit awkward.

 

[testifyoncruises]

I'm curious - is your DD turning 16? (My DD's 16th b-day is coming up - and I just checked out the melting pot website. That sounds like fun!!! But I LOVE chocolate!!!)

No she is turning 7 and two weeks later we leave for Switzerland to visit the cow we are leasing for the season.

So our DD is definitely not for want.

 

[N.Bailey]

I've never been one to invite the whole class to birthday parties when my children were younger. We always just invited the kids that my children played with all the time. For the most part, we knew who their parents were, so when I'd write no gifts on the card, the vast majority knew I did that as to not hurt the feelings of the kids that couldn't afford it (there are a lot of families in my area who don't have much).

In all honesty, I don't ever recall receiving an invite saying don't bring a gift. Again though, my kids wouldn't be attending parties for every child in their class. They only attended those of their closest friends. Since I am 100% aware that we are more fortunate than many others in our area, I enjoyed sending these kids gifts for their birthday.

Had it been requested to not bring a gift, I probably would have picked up the phone to speak with the child's parents (again, I know most of them) to see why they didn't want gifts at the party. If it was to shield the children that couldn't afford a gift, I'd have asked if it would be ok for me to give the child a gift outside the party circle. If it was because they didn't want anymore crappy junk in their house (and we all know this is true), I'd have probably done something special with the child. Perhaps taking them out to dinner, then to see a movie.

 

[Bluestars]

No she is turning 7 and two weeks later we leave for Switzerland to visit the cow we are leasing for the season.

Say what?

 

[N.Bailey]

I took my child to a birthday party once where there was something stated in the invitation that all the gifts were going to be donated to charity. The birthday boy opened all of the gifts, but didn't get to keep any. It was kind of sad for him, but I guess the parents were using it as a teaching moment for the child.

There was another party held for two kids. The parents had rented a room and held a dance with a dj. They stated that all gifts were going to be donated to charity and requested that the gifts be given unwrapped. In this case, the birthday kids didn't open anything. All the gifts were put in an area off to the side of the room. The entire grade was invited to this party, so I can see why the parents wouldn't want their kids to have all these gifts.

My kids have never been to a birthday party where there was a request for no gifts. I think that a request being made for no gifts for a children's party might make the guests feel a bit awkward.

This reminded me of one of my children's friends. When he turned 16, he had a party (actually threw it for himself if you can believe it). On the invites, he asked everyone to bring a toy that would be donated to Toys For Tots. That was pretty impressive coming from a teenager.

 

[BelleWDW]

Only on the DIS
Here is a Mom complaining about kids BRINGING a gift...



And on this thread , a Mom complaining that they brought a USED gift

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2374545

 

[Bluestars]

N.Bailey, that is impressive coming from a teenager. I thought it was a great idea for the party for these two kids. They were able to collect a lot of toys.

 

[testifyoncruises]

Say what?

You can lease a cow in Switzerland for a season and pay to go visit your cow, care for your cow and depending on the package receive up to 30 KILOS of cheese the milk from your cow produces.

 

[Bluestars]

You can lease a cow in Switzerland for a season and pay to go visit your cow, care for your cow and depending on the package receive up to 30 KILOS of cheese the milk from your cow produces.

You sure have entertaining posts.

 

[testifyoncruises]

You sure have entertaining posts.

Do you think I am kidding or something?

Click on Packages

http://www.kuhleasing.ch/deutsch/kuhleasing/fr_main.html

Translation:

http://babelfish.yahoo.com/translat...sing/fr_main.html&lp=de_en&btnTrUrl=Translate

This will be our third year leasing a cow, but the first time we are going to visit her.

 

[luvmy3]

I would bring a small token gift because I would not feel right showing up empty handed.

 

[Buckalew11]

You can lease a cow in Switzerland for a season and pay to go visit your cow, care for your cow and depending on the package receive up to 30 KILOS of cheese the milk from your cow produces.

This is probably the strangest thing I have ever read on the DIS.

 

[Bluestars]

Do you think I am kidding or something?

No, but I have a hamster you can lease in the good old U S of A.

 

[MAH4546]

I personally think its quite rude to say "no gifts." It's snobby.

Ask for a donation in lieu of gifts, or expect gifts. I would bring a gift when an invitation says "no gifts." It's common courtesy.

I also don't understand why somebody would put "no gifts" for a child's birthday party. Seriously? The gifts are part of the fun. They are kids for crying out loud - let them enjoy some gifts.

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

You sure have entertaining posts.

ETA: We lease some of our land to a cattle rancher. Maybe we could get a double lease thing going here and rent out the cows. Of course, they wouldn't produce Swiss cheese.

 

[testifyoncruises]

I also don't understand why somebody would put "no gifts" for a child's birthday party. Seriously? The gifts are part of the fun. They are kids for crying out loud - let them enjoy some gifts.

Well DD has presents from last birthday that have never been opened or played with, presents from Festivus 2008 that were never played with or opened.

If you cannot understand it, I won't bother explaining it to you. The party is her gift and having her friends spend a special girlie day with her are part of that gift. We don't need material things to show we care for a person or that we are cared for.

DD will be getting plenty of gifts from DP and I and we see no need nor we want gifts for our child. We are not about to say please donate to this charity. We happen to believe donation to a charity is a personal choice and we will not presume what charity is important to us is important to another.

 

[disykat]

There are people who refuse to believe people don't WANT the gifts. If someone brings a gift when asked not to, it should be immediately hidden away and not be opened at the event.

I can't for the life of me see why people would refuse to honor someone's request.

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

Well DD has presents from last birthday that have never been opened or played with, presents from Festivus 2008 that were never played with or opened.

If you cannot understand it, I won't bother explaining it to you. The party is her gift and having her friends spend a special girlie day with her are part of that gift. We don't need material things to show we care for a person or that we are cared for.

DD will be getting plenty of gifts from DP and I and we see no need nor we want gifts for our child. We are not about to say please donate to this charity. We happen to believe donation to a charity is a personal choice and we will not presume what charity is important to us is important to another.

Well, I hope DD (and you) will graciously accept what is given, if anything, and you can choose to donate or pile it up with the rest of them in private.

We can't choose what other people do, but we can choose how we react.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I think this happens for a variety of reasons. A few possiblities:
1. They were raised to always bring something and feel uncomfortable not doing so.
2. They/their child saw something they genuinely felt your DD would love and wanted to give it to her--and a birthday is about the only excuse to do that.
3. They know it is technically rude to state a preference for or against gifts in an invite and were so put off by your rudeness they figured they would ignore it.
4. They wrote the party date/time/location on a calader a few days ago andforgot that you requested no gifts.
5. They figure this is the parents' wish and not that of the almost 7 year old and feel it ok to take it upon themselves to see that the 7 year old has their ideaofa fun party.
6. The figure others will bring gifts and do not want their childto be the only one left out.

Do you think I am kidding or something?

Click on Packages

http://www.kuhleasing.ch/deutsch/kuhleasing/fr_main.html

Translation:

http://babelfish.yahoo.com/translat...sing/fr_main.html&lp=de_en&btnTrUrl=Translate

This will be our third year leasing a cow, but the first time we are going to visit her.

You may or may not be kidding about actually doing this and going to visit your cow, but I for one honestly do not beleive half of what you post. I am not one to take notes on posters, but you post such outlandish stuff I can't help but remember it. I am 90% sure your DD is the one who drinks entire glassses of wine at dinner and dances the strip tease from Little MissSunshine and you are currently posting on another thread you started about how you and your DP used to do "things" for a webcam for money. All of this has been posted in the last month or so--it is alot of public "out there" stuff in a very little time. Too much to be believeable to me. But it is kinda fun seeing you get people all riled up