Why do I bother?

[Hippychickali]

My point being is that the Bride and Groom can invite anybody they wish and exclude anybody they wish for any reason whatsoever. This is especially true if they are paying for the wedding themselves, and it is true for anybody throwing a party of any sort. Furthermore, hosts don't have to explain their reasons for not inviting someone to their party.

If a host doesn't want to invite someone for X reason-then that is really nobody's else concern. You get the final word when you pay

I see what you're saying, however, I agree with the OP. Not inviting someone to your wedding because they have HIV is cruel, in my opinion. And seeing as I am planning a wedding right now, I am well aware that the bride and groom can invite whomever they want. There are plenty of people we're not inviting but it has to do with cost and wanting to keep the wedding intimate not because of some of the ridiculous reasons that people write about on those wedding boards. It's just a difference of opinion but I think both of our opinions are very relevant to the thread at hand.

Ali

 

[phillybeth]

I thought a wedding was about celebrating a special occasion with family and friends, not excluding people on the basis of a habit.

 

[katerkat]

Ahhh, the wedding boards. Lovely places, huh? Honestly, I posted on one board when we were allowed to have journals to track our planning. I met some of my closest friends on there - in fact, one of them was the one who pointed me to the DIS. And I went to her wedding in WDW and we're going to DL together this fall. We're still posting on another (pay) site which cuts down on the trolls.

I went back to the wedding boards recently to find out something for my sister...and it's just bad. I sincerely hope I was not this selfish and self-centered when planning my wedding!! It seems like the most recent crop of brides is a lot more immature than when I was planning. (Generalizing, of course! )

 

[Tasha+Scott]

This thread just makes me glad once again that we decided to have a small, simple wedding! We have never regretted that decision and neither has our bank account...lol!

As far as the issue of whether to invite a smoker or not...well, my grandpa came to my wedding and he was the only smoker there. Of course we only invited family so that is why, but anyway, we just didn't let him smoke inside. Problem solved.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I know someone who didn't invite any "fat" people because she was afraid they might get into the pictures. Marriage lasted less than 2 years.

(fat to her was size 12 +)

A size 12 is "fat" ???



Wow. What planet does this woman live on???

Seriously, some people are just crazy. I knew people who so concerned about how their wedding photos would turn out, that they never even stopped to enjoy the actual wedding. It's sad.

The anti-HIV thing would have made me mad too. What is wrong with people?? Does this lady even know how HIV is spread? Last I checked, it's not spread through sitting next to someone at the reception or standing next to them during the Electric Slide.

 

[totalia]

*nods* i realize that it is the Bride and Grooms wedding and they can invite whoever they want. But sometimes they take things too far. Not everything is ok just because its your day. And purposeful cruelty is not ok.

And if she thought that was ok to do, then why post to an etiquette board asking about it? Obviously, she knew it was wrong.

As for the smoking issue, smoking was banned at my first wedding and will be again for this one. I hate cigarette smoke. Cigarettes killed my mother. But I wouldn't bann someone just because they smoked just like I wouldn't bann someone just because they were sick.

I think the Disney boards here are the only wedding boards where I haven't felt like smacking the selfish brides silly.

I don't understand why its even allowed on other boards. Some people really need to be told off. But gods help you if you actually say anything to them because the mods will jump on your back.

I'm not much of one for etiquette. I don't believe such a thing exists and that, so long as you don't do anything cruel, almost everything is ok.

I don't see the problem with including registry cards in invitations for example.

But when you do something that really is cruel, that's when you cross the line. And this is crossing the line.

 

[ballroombelle]

Sadly, the knot is NOT a new bulletin board and just as the DIS is privy to trolls, the knot will get PLENTY of its share of trolls eager to rile many a sensitive and on-the-edge bride with controversial and disruptive material.

That isn't to say the post you saw wasn't legitimate. I'd take it with a grain of salt and I'll bet lots of brides were outraged by the post. It's hard, but you've got to have faith that there's more good than bad out there. That's my humble viewpoint, anyway.

 

[totalia]

It wasn't on The Knot. I won't post the name of the site. Frankly, there are probably some people on here that are on that site and it may cause more problems than its worth.

Thanks though. I've calmed down about it since then. It still shocks me but I'm not angry any more. Perhaps it was a troll. Even the mods had a problem with the idea of not inviting someone just because they were sick so I don't feel so bad anymore.

 

[princess pooh]

I'm glad I didn't read about the anti-HIV bride myself. That kind of thing would have troubled me too

Totalia, did you try the weddingbells.ca board? I haven't been on there a lot but the posters seem to be a lot less bridezilla-ish

 

[totalia]

I was on there when I had my first wedding but I haven't checked it out this time. Thanks for the suggestion though, I think I will do it. Maybe it won't be so bad.