Why can't everyone just get along?

[kate0305]

I don't know what the 'moral's police' or 'trolls' are but I sure see a lot of this, and it does not come across as very nice. I have no illusions that I am the keeper of others morality- I'm a social worker so I see all types and deal with all sorts of stuff on a daily basis. I just know that when someone writes something that seems to intentionally put someone or something down, I get so frustrated with peoples' lack of tact or kindness.

Like I have soapboxed before, there is no need to be rude or nasty just because we disagree on something. I read the DIS to get my mouse fix in the time between WDW trips, or to get some helpful advice about how to save a few cents, or get some free samples to take to WDW. I would much rather read and enjoy, then feel like I should act like a mom and tell people how to get along.

Lots of things would be better in the world if people would just make an effort to be KIND. Not to agree, not to force change, but just be a kind person. And help out the person who needs it-be it advice on how to find something, or whatever else.

Scoot over OP on that soapbox, I'm right up there with you.

 

[jennifer293]

I know what you mean....I have noticed it here and at home. My family was hit by a dune buggy last Saturday while watching a parade and myself and my daughter were injured. We have needed pretty much around the clock care because I cannot do for us at this point. Dont'cha know in times like these someone has to get greedy, jealous what have you and my mom and DH's mom have been at it. Fighting over who gets to take care of us. It is driving me insane. DH had to go back to work finally so I had to choose who I wanted here and of course I pick my mom because she is MY MOM, and his mom got all hurt feelings and upset... I cannot wait till I am better and don't need anyone's help, but it is just a headache to deal with injuries and mothers at this point!!!! I am just so thankful to be alive and they want to be a pain in the rear!!!

I need some serious MICKEY time right now...nothing like some Disney Magic to cure my aches and pains!!!

 

[Hannathy]

Because real life isn't a Coke commercial! (you have to be older to understand this)

 

[kaytieeldr]

I have noticed the same as well. There are times I want to reply to certain threads but think better of it and hit the back button.

Or you can do what I (try to) do: Type your response in an e-mail or Word document, then delete it. You get to say what you want, but you don't add to the controversy

 

[mickeyfan2]

that it's so darn HOT everyone's STEAMIN'

I also think that people don't really want your opinions they just want to hear they did the right thing or that it's OK if they do what they want or WHATEVER.....so unless you are going to agree, there will be a debate. EVEN IF they ASK FOR OPINIONS....you give yours, then you get SLAMMED. And then enablers rush to the defense 'it's ok...there there....kiss, kiss.' Why do you ask and push other threads aside?? How about if you don't want to hear dissenting views either a)don't ask or b) put in your tag line "ONLY WANT TO HEAR FROM THOSE THAT AGREE WITH ME'...please don't put 'Is this ok?' or what have you.....and GET UPSET when you hear 'no, it's not ok'.....

BUT...THAT SAID...Those that DON'T AGREE should be kind in their reply....not 'You Dumb #%@! What th $#^ were you thinking?' That wouldn't be CONSTRUCTIVE.

And I think that the anonymity of a board makes people feel free to say it like it is without the tact we usually use at say a social gathering....that PLUS the fact that you can't HEAR the tone of voice so sometimes things are taken wrong when they were not INTENDED that way [same trouble with email].

Everyone just needs to crank up the AC, grab a beer and RELAX. Pretend the people posting are friends and take it with a grain of salt. ALSO, use the IGNORE button whenever NECESSARY.

DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE MY OPINIONS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO AGREE.



Trish

HA HA I do agree.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I don't think the boards have changed much.

There are certain topics that have always and will continue to become heated.

Pool hopping, resort mugs, politics, religion, WDW vs. US, fastpass, lap children on airplanes, lying about kids ages, going over the resort room occupancy limits, and yes accepting government assistance while budgeting for a vacation.

What I don't get is why people feel the need to post about things that they know will cause a debate?

If you are not going to buy a park pass for your 3 year old, do you really need to tell the world?

If you're staying offsite, why post that you plan to spend one day of your trip at the Poly pool?

If you're receiving foodstamps, WIC or whatever, why post that you're planning a trip to WDW or DCL or a Disney wedding?

Of course these things are going to annoy people. Not everyone will respond with smilies and pixie dust.

I agree responses shouldn’t be nasty and/or rude. However, I don’t see anything wrong with people posting their opinions.

I don’t think it’s nasty or rude to say if you can’t afford to feed your family you shouldn’t be paying for trips to WDW.

 

[jsmla]

Or you can do what I (try to) do: Type your response in an e-mail or Word document, then delete it. You get to say what you want, but you don't add to the controversy

I do this, kind of. Sometimes I get disturbed by how mean spirited and judgemental others can get, especially when they don't even know the person involved. I type up a snarky reply, read it and delete it. Makes me feel better and this way I don't end up involved in a big ole DIS board mess.

Stuff that really bugs me:

Replies that have nothing to add to the discussion except a spell and grammer check of a post someone objects to. I can't see any purpose in this except to embarass people. Why, because they don't agree with you?

Posters that spend quite a bit of time researching every single post that a person has ever submitted in order to find and point out little discrepancies of fact or opinion whether they have anything to do with the topic at hand or not.

Posts that treat a newbie like an idiot because they're not familiar with either Disney World or the stated or unspoken rules of the world of the DIS. There's no better place to gather information for your Disney trip than DIS but sometimes I feel like I'm back in junior high when I read some of the things written here. It didn't used to be like this.

Okay, I typed this and, you know, I think I'm going to acutallly submit this time!

Jennifer

 

[mrsklamc]

I
And let me just say if you are against certain forms of government aid, great. But know that b***hing and moaning on a message board isn't going to change anything...grow up and go vent on your family if you're upset! lol

Or better yet, vent on your congressman! Your family can't do anything either!

 

[eliza61]

I
* Since when does a cell phone take priority over the live person in front of you that you are talking to? I understand emergencies happen or you are waiting for a callback from your kid to pick them up or whatnot but working in retail I am helping a customer when there cell phone rings and they feel they can either multi-task and talk to me and their friend at the same time or they expect me to read their minds and know what they want while speaking to some person on the phone. Excuse yourself if you must take the call and come back into the store when you are ready or let the call go to voice mail.

One of the colleges (Harvard, I think) actually did a study on this. It seems since we have become attached to our cell phones, our social skills have been in rapid decline. Evidently we begin to treat the outside world (when we are on the phone) as invisible. So if I'm on the phone while I'm at a check out line the natural tendency will be to treat the cashier as if she is not there.

 

[Passions71203]

I don’t think it’s nasty or rude to say if you can’t afford to feed your family you shouldn’t be paying for trips to WDW.

I agree 100%!!!!

 

[Amber74]

Even if you feel that way about what someone is able to afford or not you shouldn't post it because it just starts conflict unnecessarily. It feeds the frenzy going on around here lately. What do we as mothers say to our kids all the time.....If you don't have something nice to say then keep your mouth shut. I just don't think it will make that person stop doing anything you don't agree with so why upset them or anyone else about it. Just my thoughts on all this.

 

[Passions71203]

Even if you feel that way about what someone is able to afford or not you shouldn't post it because it just starts conflict unnecessarily. It feeds the frenzy going on around here lately. What do we as mothers say to our kids all the time.....If you don't have something nice to say then keep your mouth shut. I just don't think it will make that person stop doing anything you don't agree with so why upset them or anyone else about it. Just my thoughts on all this.

I would not post it unless someone is asking what we (disboard people) thought of the subject.

 

[kate0305]

I agree 100%!!!!

I agree too that nasty or rude would not apply. . .if it was said in such a way. However, "what are you freaking insane paying for WDW when you feed your kids government cheese" could be reframed a little bit. I am just making that statement up, I have not read any threads about social issues ever since one made me come out of hiding as a lurker- it made my blood pressure shoot up a million points. But I still think I did a pretty good job of saying my opinion in a tactful way (minus the ambulance chaser comment).

I like to disagree, goodness knows my DH and I practice enough! I just think there is a way to do so without hurting people's feelings. No, I am not one of those warm and fuzzies that think there should be no grades so kids don't 'fail'-heck yeah they need to learn life lessons and fail if they deserve too. They should also have to work to get things-my mom refusing to pay for my Guess jeans (which were 'required' in the mid eighties) caused me to get my first job at 16, and I have worked steadily ever since- to pay for what I want- such as WDW- not what I 'deserve'. I firmly believe that there should be consequences for actions and rewards for hard work. I just get frustrated with out and out ugliness.

Someone posted about the spelling check thing. . .I totally feel that one. Someone corrected my capital/capitol thing in a way that I interpreted to be condescending, and I immediately typed up a heated response about making people feel dumb on purpose. . .then corrected it to do what my momma always told me--kill them with kindness. So I just said thanks for helping!!! I am such a sweet southern thing!

 

[aclov]

I usually don't reply to the controversial threads, even if I don't agree. But why would anyone to come on a discussion board to say your business when you know your going to get rude comments. You know people are going to stray away from the real topic

It seems like people are having bad attitudes everywhere. I was called a B**ch by some crazy woman at CVS a few weeks ago that was yelling at her daughter to push the cart faster. I didn't say anything to her I just looked her way to make sure I was out of her kid's way and she called me that and said some other rude remarks. You can't even go to the store or leave your house at that if you have awful neighbors, without running into mean people. Geez...

 

[crisi]

I LOVE the hypocrisy.

"I'm going to criticize some posters for being critical of other posters." Honestly, this may be my #1 favorite type of post on the internet.

You don't get to control the discourse. The internet is one big open cocktail party - and the guy standing next to you may be a racist homophobe - but your choices are to argue with him or walk away - you don't get to control what he says or how he says it. Not everyone here is nice - and some people here may be much nicer in person than they choose to be on the internet. Some people are using your personal problems for their own entertainment - and if you don't like that, you may not want to post your personal problems out in public.

 

[jsmla]

I LOVE the hypocrisy.

"I'm going to criticize some posters for being critical of other posters." Honestly, this may be my #1 favorite type of post on the internet.

You don't get to control the discourse. The internet is one big open cocktail party

But the DIS is not an open cocktail party. It's a party with chaperones. I have no problem with difference of opinion on the DIS. I couldn't possibly care less about 99% of the controversial issues here. It just seems that many of these disagreements have of late disintegrated into personal attacks and jabs intended for little reason other than to hurt and, yes, I'm very critical of that sort of post.

Jennifer, the hypocrite.

 

[bellarella]

Even if you feel that way about what someone is able to afford or not you shouldn't post it because it just starts conflict unnecessarily.

I don't think it is always unnecessary. Along with the general decline of civility, I think there is also an increase in the belief that support must equal agreeing with someone. Neither extreme is good. People asking for advice are often enabled into poor decisions for "fear of offending." Sometimes the best way to support someone is to point out the obvious. Hugs and pixie dust and "you go for it"s are not always the best way to support someone. Now if some of these ridiculous post where people go on and on about how they can't afford the necessities of life then go on to ask about how to have a 10 day deluxe vacation at WDW were met with deafening silence, that would be one thing. But inevitably the enablers come out of the woodwork and talk about how you only live once, yadda, yadda. Then, lest the OP really think the whole world shares this skewed (and unhelpful) viewpoint, the nay-sayers come out. Things can be phrased more or less delicately, but much is lost in text over speech.

 

[crisi]

But the DIS is not an open cocktail party. It's a party with chaperones. I have no problem with difference of opinion on the DIS. I couldn't possibly care less about 99% of the controversial issues here. It just seems that many of these disagreements have of late disintegrated into personal attacks and jabs intended for little reason other than to hurt and, yes, I'm very critical of that sort of post.

Jennifer, the hypocrite.

This board isn't an open cocktail party, but it IS one with hosts who determine the appropriate level of discourse. If the chaperones have a problem with the behavior, they will throw the offender out. There is no need to become a junior moderator - as far as I know the DIS does not have such a function.

 

[bellarella]

What's up with all the ethics police as well?!?!?!?

If you are going to post to a public forum that you are planning on breaking known rules or steal, etc., then you get what you deserve, IMHO. We don't live in a vacuum and peer pressure can be a positive thing. If blind-eyes weren't turned to so many infractions, our society would run much smoother and in a much more civil way.

I think back to when I spent a semester in Europe. I was truly embarrassed to be an American much of the time. When I looked around, it was the Americans who were trying to break rules right and left. So much was done on the honor system -- you would stamp your own public transit ticket and very few times would anyone ever check, for example -- and it worked. People native to those countries wouldn't dream of not doing the right thing just because they weren't likely to get caught. It was so different from what the culture here has become -- here it seems as long as you aren't likely to get caught you are foolish for doing the "right thing" simply because it is right. It seems it is becoming OK in peoples minds to pick and choose the rules they are going to follow on the basis of the likelihood of getting caught.

In an ideal world, people would do the right thing because it is the right thing. In the absence of that, I have no problem with the ethics police making a point.

 

[Amber74]

Time for me to unsubscribe from the all getting along thread.