Why are you a single parent?

Discussion in 'Disney for Single Parents' started by ophelia2002, Jul 7, 2015.

  1. ClaraBug

    ClaraBug DIS Veteran

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    I won't go into a lot of details but my late husband passed from cancer in 2013. I have two wonderful daughters who are my life. I have read all the stories and we have all suffered in some way great or small, but it is nice to know there is a place to see that.
    I do have a question.......have any of you gone on a trip (anywhere) and see all the other "happy" familes with two parents and then you look at your little "broken" family and then hurt or cry a little?
     
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  2. leshunlenese

    leshunlenese DIS Veteran

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    Yes I do!
     
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  4. Single mom in Canada

    Single mom in Canada Earning My Ears

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  5. luvmy2babies

    luvmy2babies DIS Veteran

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    Usually hits me when I see a little boy yelling, "Daddy! Look at that! or Daddy, come here!" My husband died when my son was 2 months old and I find myself thinking about how I would never hear my son say those things.

    I do remember our first trip to Disney and my daughter saying there were times it felt like someone was missing. It was 8 months after dh passed. It took her about 10 months to feel like we were still a family. We've been on this road 5.5 years now. It's still the toughest part, them not having a father anywhere.
     
  6. Tiffylv

    Tiffylv DIS Veteran

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    Last edited: Jan 26, 2016
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  7. JaxDad

    JaxDad DIS Veteran

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    Yes. I think it will always hurt a little. But like me, you have two great children, and that is a true blessing!
     
  8. Iheart3

    Iheart3 Earning My Ears

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    It does hurt but where I work there are kids in foster care who don't have parents so I try to focus on the positives that my child has at least one (actually two, we're just not together) that thinks she's awesome!
     
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  9. catmom46

    catmom46 Mouseketeer

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    And while I'm not a religious person, you're in my prayers, too! I'm so sorry you and your son had to endure that terrible time. But you will be there for him when he learns the truth and help him through the pain. Although I totally get your concern - hopefully it's something he won't dwell on and instead appreciate how lucky he is to have you in his life.
     
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  10. jamnmom

    jamnmom Mouseketeer

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    I love that everyone is feeling so comfortable about sharing their stories here. I understand so many of you as our stories are very similar. Unfortunately, if it's not like my own....it's a lot like one of my kids'. As I've already shared, I have 4 children - 3 are grown with kids of their own and all 3 of them have gone through some very abusive relationships (resulting from PTSD and ending with arrests); and abandonment (my son's wife went to work and just never came home; leaving him alone with a 2 year old little girl). There's something about being on a Disney focused board that makes us all feel 'ok' about sharing these things. On the upbeat side, my DS 15 and I are really excited about our upcoming first ever CRUISE!! We know that our travels would not be possible had it not been for his father's death - which is really weird, but true; but we are a family and we enjoy our time together as a family - even if it is just the 2 of us!!
     
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  11. Tiffylv

    Tiffylv DIS Veteran

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    Last edited: Jan 26, 2016
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  12. catmom46

    catmom46 Mouseketeer

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    I also think it's great that people can tell their stories here, although not sure if it's a Disney thing, as the "other" Disney board doesn't get this personal. Or at least I haven't seen much of it on the threads I've read. If anything, people on that board seem to look down upon those who provide too much personal info on an online forum because we're all technically strangers and you never know who is actually reading everything. While there may be creepers from time to time, it seems like most of the people here are genuine. :-)
     
  13. Disnewbie_N_MO

    Disnewbie_N_MO Mouseketeer

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    Not seeing a lot of Single Dads on this thread. I met the woman of my dreams, she had a 9 moth old baby girl whom i adopted when she was 4. We had 2 more boys together. I thought we'd be together forever. I truly believed she was my soulmate. after 13 yrs of marriage and being together 15 years she told me she didn't love me anymore.We were divorced in May of this year. I saw no signs and thought we had a great relationship. I was crushed. We were the couple that everyone said "made them sick". Because it was so sudden and I thought I was doing everything right, it's been hard for me to even think about getting back out there and date again. I've been alone for almost 2 years now. It's no fun I tell ya. I miss being with someone, but until I figure out where I went wrong, I won't ever be able to be with another woman. My kids have been my rock. They keep me busy and that's all I can ask for. Our trip this spring to Disney will be our 1st back there without there mother. I just hope it doesn't bring back to many memories, because it was a great trip as a family. Sorry I just realized I wrote a book.
     
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  14. JaxDad

    JaxDad DIS Veteran

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    Disnewbie, my story is VERY similar to yours. Like you, my kids have been my rock, and our time together, especially our vacations, continue to make life truly special. I know the memories can be painful, but you are making new ones everyday.
     
  15. firepuppy

    firepuppy Mouseketeer

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    Disnewbie, I think for most of us our kids have been our rocks. Sometimes taking a vacation is not easy, but seeing our kids faces as we get close to leaving makes it worth everything. My son has told me so many times I have always been his rock and we will make it no matter what. I'm sure your kids feel the same about you.
     
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  16. PghPixie

    PghPixie Mouseketeer

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    First off, I'm sorry for your loss.

    And to answer your question: Yes, I do. My son recently started playing baseball and I can't seem to make it through a single practice without crying behind my sunglasses. Just watching the other dads get so involved in coaching, etc. while my son is on his own (I do what I can but I am NOT a sports person, so I'm virtually useless). His dad is still in his life, but far from an active participant in the everyday stuff.

    It doesn't help that my ex is now having a baby with his new girlfriend and is an active parent to her other two kids. It sucks to see that even he gets that "happy family". I can't help but feel like I'm cheating my son out of a real family.
     
  17. catmom46

    catmom46 Mouseketeer

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    But you are your son's real family, and it's your ex who is cheating him out of having a father. While it may be difficult for your son to not have 2 parents and I understand your guilt (and pain), you being there for him, caring as much as you do, means so much. You are NOT useless!
     
  18. MsMamaBear

    MsMamaBear Mouseketeer

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    Before our first Disney trip I did. I was so worried it'd just be a bunch of "happy" families and we'd stick out like sore thumbs. I worried for no reason. I did feel sad when I saw a dad and daughter. My parents were married until my dad died and we always went on family vacations. I hate she'll miss out on that and the relationship like I had with my dad. Sucks even more my dad isn't here to be grandpa. I try not to think about it though.
     
  19. MommyMeNDisney

    MommyMeNDisney DIS Veteran

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    Awww, that's so sweet! I LOVE a good mother/son bond! Boys LOVE their moms! I'm so glad I have a son! :)
     
  20. Txjedi

    Txjedi Earning My Ears

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    I was never married but am a single dad. I never met the girl of my dreams and probably wanted to be a father more than a husband. Tried dating but the old I got, the harder it got. I adopted my son 4 years ago when he was 9 and it has been the most wonderful journey ever. Sure it has it's ups and downs, but all in all it has made us both better men and we are both thankful for each other every day. Sure, sometimes it gets overwhelming and lonely but all in all we are doing great and I love it! Disney is one of our bonds we look forward to every year, it is the one time I lighten up on rules and structure, I think that is why he enjoys it.
     
  21. Mommaof3

    Mommaof3 <font color=darkorchid>I have a wet noodle and I'm

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    I have just finished reading all of the stories. Thank you to everyone for sharing your pain and your strength. It gives me comfort to hear similar feelings because I still feel alone and scared sometimes. I am divorced after 33 years of marriage. I knew he was cheating, but we had 3 children and I wanted to keep the family intact until they were grown. My ex is living with a women 30 years younger than him. She is the age of our children and has the same name as me. It is just a bit creepy. He is taking me back to court to change our divorce agreement. It just opens wounds for me that I have worked so hard to heal. Disney is my happy place. As soon as the divorce was over, I gathered my children and went. We all needed that time to laugh and feel some happiness. I am just looking for peace and happiness. I would love to think that there is a kind man somewhere that I could have a loving relationship with. But for right now, I am learning about myself and healing myself and helping my children to heal. I fear my ex left a wide path of destruction and looks to be determined to widen the path rather than take responsibility for his actions. Again, thanks to all. It really does help to read your stories. Love and prayers to all.
     
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