Why Are Some Women So Desperate For Male Attention?

[AKL_Megs]

I have a friend that I can only describe as an "Attention..." (and I think you know what I mean ). I just got off the phone with her, and upon hanging up, I had myself quite a laugh.

My friend is married, and although on the OUTSIDE she seems VERY happily married, of course, I have no idea if she is truly happy or not.

With that said, I don't think you can blame her happiness or unhappiness in marriage on her attention-seeking behaviors, because then, wouldn't EVERY unhappily married woman be out there seeking the attention of men. It MUST be something specific to the individual WOMAN, but what?

My friend is married, has two great kids, doesn't "have" to work (again, I don't know the inside and outside of their finances, this is from what she tells me), has a nice house, nice cars, nice vacations... But still, she seeks the attention of any man that will pay her some.

She has a VERY part-time job because she "needs to get out of the house". She works on Friday and Saturday nights at a sports bar in an outfit that I would compare to that of a Hooters employee. Coincidentally, her DH works weekends, so she ships her kids off to a nanny every weekend night. She LOVES the attention she gets from the men at the bar, and it seems everywhere we go, she runs into or knows a man. It is bizarre and annoying. FWIW, her DH tells her to quit OFTEN (she complains about aspects of the job), and I know she hates leaving her kids, but I KNOW she stays because she loves the attention.

I remember one evening, I was at her house and one of her male neighbors was outside having a conversation with a visitor (another man... Someone she said she didn't recognize) in his driveway. My friend proceeded to run over and interrupt JUST to see who the new person was. It was the rudest thing!

And today, I was on the phone with her, and she was complaining about how the UPS man delivered her package, but didn't wait for her to answer the door, he just rang the bell and left. She was upset. It was straight out of Desperate Housewives! She had been waiting for that UPS man!

So... Why are some women so desperate for male attention?

 

[morethananyonex]

Why are some women like that? It's just who they are. I've seen it with one of my friends, no matter how happy she is in a relationship she needs the male attention, regardless of who it's from. I chalk it up to how she was raised, her mother is the EXACT same way.

TBH, it isn't exactly easy to be around someone like that, especially when they vent about relationship problems.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

maybe she is working up the courage to cheat?

 

[AKL_Megs]

maybe she is working up the courage to cheat?

I've thought that, but I REALLY don't think she would take it that far.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Why are some women like that? It's just who they are. I've seen it with one of my friends, no matter how happy she is in a relationship she needs the male attention, regardless of who it's from.

I just can't imagine living like that.

 

[topolino]

Sounds like she has low self esteem. Male attention probably doesn't come to her on its own as often as she'd like, so she seeks it out.

And the fact that she is married leads me to believe that she isn't getting much attention from her husband. Or maybe she is, and she doesn't want it.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I've thought that, but I REALLY don't think she would take it that far.

the trouble is, you really don't know if she would,people have different 'thresholds" on what they would, or would not, do.

like a lot of things, you might not be seeing the whole story. there COULD be something wrong in her marriage and you are only seeing one side of the effect.


OR she is feeling like she is aging, so she needs some positive re-enforcement that she can still attract men..

now if she hangs around pirates.....

 

[java]

low self esteem.

 

[dngnb8]

So... Why are some women so desperate for male attention?

Im not sure, but can you introduce me?

 

[AKL_Megs]

now if she hangs around pirates.....

Well, if there was one around, she probably would!

 

[*JoGo*]

I also have a married friend like this. Always telling me stories about this guy that came into her work and said *whatever* - she's hinting that he was hitting on her w/o outright saying it. Or this guy she went to high school with (over a decade ago) making an inappropriate comment on fb - while she smiles.

I think they are insecure. That they measure their self worth by how many heads they can turn. Also, I've been out with her, and she truly ATTRACTS men to her - and she's just an avg. late 30s housewife (no cleavage, no ridiculous make up, jeans and tshirts, etc). I mean, these were bar men, so nothing to write home about, lol.

I've thought about maybe daddy issues, but I think it's more an individual personality trait, b/c MY dad died when I was young and I was never like that.

 

[MinnieFan4ever]

lYou could be describing a friend of mine. I just don't get it

 

[wdwmom2]

i think they are insecure. That they measure their self worth by how many heads they can turn.

mte!!!!!!!!

 

[FireDancer]

It could be low self esteem but, on the other hand, some people are just flirts. As long as it doesn't go past that I don't see it really as a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good and be noticed for it. I don't think once you are in a relationship you have to all of a sudden not want to be seen as attractive or notice attractive people of the opposite sex. It sure beats completely letting yourself go and no longer caring about how you look just because you are married IMO.

Without witnessing it myself I can't really know if it is low self-esteem or high confidence. Often the two are mistaken.

 

[mickeyinthehouse]

I'm not sure why your friend acts the way that she does but she is not alone. What I do wonder is how she would act if her husband acted that way...would she still think it was acceptable behavior?

 

[nmmom95]

Without witnessing it myself I can't really know if it is low self-esteem or high confidence. Often the two are mistaken.

I agree with this. I think it's especially true if she was a head turner in her younger days.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I'm not sure why your friend acts the way that she does but she is not alone. What I do wonder is how she would act if her husband acted that way...would she still think it was acceptable behavior?

This is what makes me feel sorry for the whole situation... She does it in front of her DH, and he doesn't do anything! We were out to dinner with them a while back, and she ran into men she knew TWICE, and proceeded to have a flirty conversation with each one while we stood off waited. I worry about the example she is setting for her DS and DD. Will her DD think it is acceptable to dress skimpy and tramp around for men? Will her DS think it is okay for his wife to engage other men in that manner?

 

[Buckalew11]

I also wonder about women like this. In fact, I had this type conversation with people the other day. It was interesting.
In my business, I see it all the time--less with clients and more with co-workers. Oh, let's cut hair in a midriff top with cleavage hanging out because when you pay for them you might as well show them off! Ack! And the men seemed to love it! There is a reason the show has "Desperate" in the title! :O

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

This is what makes me feel sorry for the whole situation... She does it in front of her DH, and he doesn't do anything! We were out to dinner with them a while back, and she ran into men she knew TWICE, and proceeded to have a flirty conversation with each one while we stood off waited. I worry about the example she is setting for her DS and DD. Will her DD think it is acceptable to dress skimpy and tramp around for men? Will her DS think it is okay for his wife to engage other men in that manner?

Is it possible that her husband is very secure in his relationship with his wife, so is completely unaffected by this?

 

[AKL_Megs]

Is it possible that her husband is very secure in his relationship with his wife, so is completely unaffected by this?

Perhaps he is, but it still doesn't make her behavior right, does it? I don't know.