Who's going to need a stiff drink ( or 8) to get thru the holiday and why?

[Grumpy's Gal]

Going to need many drinks this holiday season. We are now a family of 3. We leave for Florida tonight, it will be a long drive , but we are in no rush .

It may sound like corny advice, as I have had my share of in-law drama, but just take a deep breath. Never in a million years did I think my life would pan out this way. I would give anything I had to go back in time, and not have this life sentence.

 

[leebee]

Going to need many drinks this holiday season. We are now a family of 3. We leave for Florida tonight, it will be a long drive , but we are in no rush. It may sound like corny advice, as I have had my share of in-law drama, but just take a deep breath. Never in a million years did I think my life would pan out this way. I would give anything I had to go back in time, and not have this life sentence.

OH Mommasita... I think of you often with love. I can't imagine any of this- and yet, it happened. Try to find little things over this holiday season to bring some lightness into your lives. Please always remember that you have the love and support of all your friends here on the DIS. I know that won't change anything... but we are here for you.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I'm sure there will be a few drinks consumed during our holiday celebrations. Luckily all my family and in-laws live near us, but we still have 7 different holiday celebrations to attend between the 23rd and the 26th. It's just a ton of go go go.

 

[PollyannaMom]

DS's Guinea pig may be sick, and he (the pet) is five, which is not young for a Guinea pig. If something bad happens at Christmas, we will all be a mess, and yes, I will need a drink.

(We do have a vet appointment today to get him looked at - and hopefully feeling better.)

 

[ronandannette]

Well, I did not see that coming. DH’s younger sister died completely unexpectedly yesterday. They were not estranged but also not close in any meaningful way. She was single and childless though so he will certainly have to step up and handle the affairs now.

Their older sister very much “calls the tune” as to how the siblings relate to one another in what has always struck me as a very weird dynamic. (There were originally 6, now 3 remain.) DH is grieving and churning through bitter-sweet memories of their mostly unhappy childhood. We’re waiting this morning to hear what’s expected of us and all other holiday plans have immediately been put on hold.

 

[design_mom]

I'm not usually a drinker, but I might have to start. SIL/BIL are driving me insane. Their 2 kids are similar in age to our two kids. All four of them are pretty good kids -- decent people, good students, and reasonably talented at their chosen activities. However, none of them are Ivy League bound nor even the best athletes at their school, let alone state/national level.

However, BIL/SIL think their kids are the most popular, smartest, most beautiful/handsome, talented kids on the face of the earth and brag about them excessively. Most of what they say is an exaggeration and some of it is a flat-out lie. However if you even slightly question their story, they turn it around so you're just being mean. (And the kids are OK themselves, albeit somewhat spoiled. It's not their fault that their parents are jerks.)

We spent some time with them this weekend and I am already sick and tired of hearing about how amazing their kids are. They have always tried to 'compare' and/or keep the focus on their kids since they were babies, but they seem to be getting worse... or my patience is getting thin. (And, I think the average outsider would conclude that my kids are at least equally smart, handsome, talented etc as theirs (and maybe more so), but there is really no point in discussing their accomplishments at all because niece and nephew are somehow always "better," even if it's just in their parents' minds.)

 

[design_mom]

Well, I did not see that coming. DH’s younger sister died completely unexpectedly yesterday. They were not estranged but also not close in any meaningful way. She was single and childless though so he will certainly have to step up and handle the affairs now.

Their older sister very much “calls the tune” as to how the siblings relate to one another in what has always struck me as a very weird dynamic. (There were originally 6, now 3 remain.) DH is grieving and churning through bitter-sweet memories of their mostly unhappy childhood. We’re waiting this morning to hear what’s expected of us and all other holiday plans have immediately been put on hold.

I'm very sorry for your husband's loss. Sometimes I think the "what if" kind of losses are the hardest.

 

[leebee]

Well, I did not see that coming. DH’s younger sister died completely unexpectedly yesterday. They were not estranged but also not close in any meaningful way. She was single and childless though so he will certainly have to step up and handle the affairs now.

Their older sister very much “calls the tune” as to how the siblings relate to one another in what has always struck me as a very weird dynamic. (There were originally 6, now 3 remain.) DH is grieving and churning through bitter-sweet memories of their mostly unhappy childhood. We’re waiting this morning to hear what’s expected of us and all other holiday plans have immediately been put on hold.

I am SO sorry to read this! I understand the "not estranged but also not close" thing, as that describes my relationship with my mother. Still, it is so incredibly difficult when you lose someone with whom you've shared a past, memories, experiences, happy or not. Please accept my condolences, and pass them along to your DH. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

I'm not usually a drinker, but I might have to start. SIL/BIL are driving me insane. Their 2 kids are similar in age to our two kids. They are all pretty good kids -- they are all nice kids, good students, and reasonably talented at their chosen activities. However, none of them are Ivy League bound nor even the best athletes at their school, let alone state/national level.

However, BIL/SIL think their kids are the most popular, smartest, most beautiful/handsome, talented kids on the face of the earth and brag about them excessively. Most of what they say is an exaggeration and some of it is a flat-out lie. However if you even slightly question their story, they turn it around so you're just being mean. (And the kids are OK themselves, albeit somewhat spoiled. It's not their fault that their parents are jerks.)

But we spent some time with them this weekend and I am already sick and tired of hearing about how amazing their kids are. It has always been somehat like this since they were babies, but they seem to be getting worse... or my patience is getting thin.

Right? I have a friend like this and it's just so tiring to hear how amazing her kids are, and how much better than mine. I've pretty much stopped telling her anything about DD's accomplishments, because I know her kids have had more, better, bigger. Unfortunately, my not talking about my kid hasn't stopped her from bragging about hers. Sigh... you deserve the drinks; here's one to get ya started!!

 

[belleatdisney]

I am estranged from much of my family. I know the pain of those of you seeking something to help get through the family drama. It used to be like that for me. Now that I don't see them at all I do not dread the holidays. Hope you all get through it.
So sorry to those who lost someone this year.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Well, I did not see that coming. DH’s younger sister died completely unexpectedly yesterday. They were not estranged but also not close in any meaningful way. She was single and childless though so he will certainly have to step up and handle the affairs now.

Their older sister very much “calls the tune” as to how the siblings relate to one another in what has always struck me as a very weird dynamic. (There were originally 6, now 3 remain.) DH is grieving and churning through bitter-sweet memories of their mostly unhappy childhood. We’re waiting this morning to hear what’s expected of us and all other holiday plans have immediately been put on hold.

 

[pigletto]

Edited to erase whining..

I am so sorry for those of you who have lost people in this thread. This will be the first Christmas for dear friends of ours without their 13 year old who died this summer. My 20 year old dd lost a friend in a car accident last week.

My ungrateful butt just got a reminder to stop whining. I don’t have problems.

 

[ronandannette]

Edited to erase whining..

I am so sorry for those of you who have lost people in this thread. This will be the first Christmas for dear friends of ours without their 13 year old who died this summer. My 20 year old dd lost a friend in a car accident last week.

My ungrateful butt just got a reminder to stop whining. I don’t have problems.

Thank you, and although I am also big on "reality checks", the thread still has room for other less profound hardships, especially if they're funny! It never hurts to laugh a little, it's actually a blessing in the face of tragedy.

 

[leebee]

Edited to erase whining..

I am so sorry for those of you who have lost people in this thread. This will be the first Christmas for dear friends of ours without their 13 year old who died this summer. My 20 year old dd lost a friend in a car accident last week.

My ungrateful butt just got a reminder to stop whining. I don’t have problems.

I read your original post, and all I can say is, eyes on the prize, the 27th will come! And you are right... we are mostly complaining about the petty challenges. Most of us haven't faced the worst there is, although a few have and I cannot fathom being in their spot. My whines and grievances are surmountable, thankfully, even if it does take a glass of wine to get there. Family and friends are blessings, for sure, and I am thankful to have them, and have "challenges" that are minor. Happy Holidays to all!!

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

Well, I did not see that coming. DH’s younger sister died completely unexpectedly yesterday. They were not estranged but also not close in any meaningful way. She was single and childless though so he will certainly have to step up and handle the affairs now.

Their older sister very much “calls the tune” as to how the siblings relate to one another in what has always struck me as a very weird dynamic. (There were originally 6, now 3 remain.) DH is grieving and churning through bitter-sweet memories of their mostly unhappy childhood. We’re waiting this morning to hear what’s expected of us and all other holiday plans have immediately been put on hold.

I am so sorry! I was just thinking about you this morning - thinking I was going to pop on here and try to find you to say I just got all the ingredients to make your fudge. But I am sending instead.

 

[Micca]

@ronandannette I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. And for everyone else who faces some kind of family drama

 

[ronandannette]

I am so sorry! I was just thinking about you this morning - thinking I was going to pop on here and try to find you to say I just got all the ingredients to make your fudge. But I am sending instead.

You'll love the fudge - everybody does. I may do some baking myself today as we sadly don't have anything better to do.

We've just been informed by DH's older "boss lady" sister that she's already arranged for the direct cremation of their younger sister and there will be no services because she doesn't wish to deal with the extended family.
Ugh - after being so smug about not having family drama, here this comes out of left-field. I'm humbled and DH is hurting.

 

[mommy2mrb]

This will be our 8th Christmas since my DH passed. Our families (including FIL AND BIL) have been estranged in different ways ever since.

To add salt to our wounds last Christmas Eve my mom and older brother had a huge argument and she refuses to forgive him to this day, even though she brought it on and won’t admit to it. They are not invited to family get together, but we are having a separate Christmas with them, they were the only ones who have 100% emotionally supported us these past 8 years.
This will be my DD and mine last Christmas with the family as we are moving to MA this summer. Plan on flying below radar when with estranged family and enjoying my DD and older brothers family during our separate celebrations.

Wish everyone here a peaceful Christmas and strength to get through the hard moments.

 

[gillep]

You'll love the fudge - everybody does. I may do some baking myself today as we sadly don't have anything better to do.

We've just been informed by DH's older "boss lady" sister that she's already arranged for the direct cremation of their younger sister and there will be no services because she doesn't wish to deal with the extended family.
Ugh - after being so smug about not having family drama, here this comes out of left-field. I'm humbled and DH is hurting.

I am so sorry for your loss, it is so hard to see a loved one hurt in that way. It is coming on the 5 year anniversary of my husband's mother's death, she passed just after Christmas. I think sometimes it is easier to think about the little annoyances that come up for the holidays, and helps to just vent a bit about those things, while still being able to keep ones blessings in perspective, or at least that's how I think of it for myself when I am complaining over the little things.

 

[scrhsa]

Well, I was hoping to not have to post on this thread But, my cat came in not being able to walk on his front, right leg. Took him to the vet, he sent him to another vet and Yeah Me! I get to spend 2000 dollars to plate a broken leg. I don't drink( hate the taste) so I'm drowning my misery in diet coke and a vat full of peanut M & Ms

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I'm just thankful to have my 92-year old dad with us, and in reasonably good health for another Christmas. I'm also looking forward to having my college boy home for several weeks!