Who witnessed your birth? And your children?

[disykat]

My hospital has an open policy.........

So did mine. It was very upsetting to get very bad news in my 27th hour of labor and have 15 people cheering at every labor pain in the room next door. The nurses finally quieted them down, but I was so relieved when that baby was born.

Alexandria674, I hope for you that you come to see your soon to be husband as your safe place that you want with you - inexperienced or not!

 

[akayek31]

When I was born back in 1972 my mom said she was passed out and my dad was not in the room.

DS was born in 1992 and my Best friend/DS godmother was in the room.
DD was born in 1996 and my male BFF/DS godfather was in the room. My female best friend was at work and couldn't get there in time and was angry she missed it lol. Both were C-sections.

 

[englishteacha]

I'm the youngest of 8 children, and I'm the only one my daddy was allowed to be there for! He was in the father's room for all the others. We don't have children, but if we do, I would want my DH there, and maybe my mom.

 

[blana]

My birth: Daddy was in the waiting room.

My kids: DH was in the room with me. Looking very carefully away from the area where anything was going on. With DS, my parents were standing just outside the door to the room, against my wishes. Momma cried because she didn't want me to hurt. I couldn't have dealt with that in the room with me. (She was a normal 1970's mom who was doped up beyond belief during labor & couldn't understand why I didn't get an epidural....)

 

[mjkacmom]

He and I had already discussed it. He and I feel that at that event, there would be not much he can do and personally I would just feel more comfortable with my mother because I know that she has a lot more experience in these matters (she has had 5 children) and would help me a little bit more then the fiance would. Maybe later we will change out minds but for the time being I just want my mother. The fact that he did not see the child come out of me does not hinder him from being a part of the child's life. Its just at that moment while giving birth I know the only person who can calm me down and help is my mother.

Couldn't they both be there? Honestly, the only woman I know who's DH wasn't there for the birth was SIL, because her DH was in the military. It's kind of a big moment in a couple's life.

 

[Banshee]

I was born in 72 so my dad was allowed to come in, my mom said he was in the scrubs all ready to go then he chickened out at the last minute! Beign the youngest of 6 my mom said my birth was a much more pleasant experience she was coherent and the Dr. actually actually laid me on her chest instead of whisking me away. My DS 13 my DH was there 2 nurses and they asked if two highschool Vo-tech nursing students could come in. I said sure well these 2 girls stood against the wall behind the Dr. and saw the whole thing!!! They just stood there slack jawed it was so funny they got the best birth control that day!!! Ds 7 was Dh he was an emergency C-section. And DD 2 was my DH she was premature 7 weeks and was also an emergency C-section. I would have liked my mom to been there but DS 13 was born 15 minutes after I got to the hospital!! My poor parents didn't make it in time.

 

[MIGrandma]

When I was born my Dad waiting in the "father's waiting room."

When my DS was born they were just beginning to allow father's into the delivery room. In fact, my doctor talked quite extensively to my DH about it, and said that since he was a hog farmer he would "probably be okay" to come in. He also came in when our DD was born 2-1/2 years later. But no one else was there.

When my DD had their son they asked me to be in the delivery room, and it was an amazing experience to be able to be there. And when their DD was born they again asked me to come in. I was so grateful, again, to be able to share that with them. It was awesome both times!

 

[staley7580]

When I was born, my dad was there. I was born in 1980.

With my first... my sons father, my best friend, my doctor.. who barely made it in time! and a couple of nurses. My mom stood in the hallway crying.. and my dad was down the hall in the waiting room.

With my second... it was just me and my husband. My parents had Alex down the hall in the waiting room.

With the twins.. I was very lucky that they let me deliver in my room, and it wasnt mandatory I deliver in the OR. Most hospitals require that. Anyways.. My kids were supposed to be there. My 7yo had begged to see the babies be born since we found out about them, and I was very confident that he could handle it. He had watched birthing videos, and for a seven year old boy was very interested in the whole pregnancy! My mom wanted to be there for it, which meant that my 3yo would be there. I was a little nervous about that, but if anything happened my mom would take them out.

As it turned out, they were born at 11:51pm and 12:01am... Middle of the night so it was just me and DH. And a whole slew of medical folks. I even got to hold my baby boy right after he was born, and before his sister came out! I wasnt expecting that at all. I thought they would take him right away so they could deliver my little girl.

I know its seems crazy, but my twins birth was by far the easiest of all. Probably because they were both just under 7 pounds.

 

[PinkRhombus]

I am not pregnant yet but I was thinking about it and I have realized that I would want to see my mom there in the room. Not my fiance (he'd be my husband by then)but my mom would know more about calming me down. I don't think I want anyone there except my mom.

I wouldn't be for sure about your mother going along with that. You're her child and all, but unless your husband said "hell, no, I'm not going to be in there", no one in their right mind would go along with that scenario.

And he may just be saying that to appease you now, but men change when they're actually in that situation.

My husband is my heart and soul and I just cannot imagine doing that to him. You MUST leave the option of being there (or not) TOTALLY up to him or he's going to resent you for a long time.

You could have them both in there, by the way.

 

[islandmum]

I've had 2 c-sections, DH only present, 2nd one was emergency so I was knocked out but I know DH was there throughout.

If I had had natural births would there have been anyone else there like my mom - hell no! During labour maybe for chats etc.. but definately not for the birth.

Cant understand these people who have teams of fmaily and friends in the room for that amazing moment - sometimes there are parts of our lives we should keep for just us as a couple, its not a rule your whole life should involve everyone else!

 

[DMickey28]

When I was born in 1978 it was my mom and dad. My dad was busy taking pictures but forgot to put film in the camera!!

For DS, when I was in Labor and pushing it was my mom and DH. Then I ended up with a c-section and it was just my DH. My parents where in the hall waiting. They remember my OB with such fondness because on his way into the OR he stopped, introduced himself to them and asked if they were ready to have a baby ... they were so impressed that he cared about them too. I MISS MY OB ... The struggles I have had with with pregnancy, I wish I was still with him. Traveling to Florida would have been too much though!

 

[Darsa]

My dad was afraid to be in the room when I was born in 1970. When my DD was born in 95, my mom and my husband were there, and my poooor brother, who got "trapped" by the doctors and nurses, and didn't want to try to get by them. He stayed in the very front corner where he couldn't possibly "see" anything, lol. Once labor started it was a fairly short procedure anyway; I was too impatient to worry about screaming and giving little girlie pushes Water broke at 6AM, DD born at 11:17AM, done!

 

[mjkacmom]

I've had 2 c-sections, DH only present, 2nd one was emergency so I was knocked out but I know DH was there throughout.

If I had had natural births would there have been anyone else there like my mom - hell no! During labour maybe for chats etc.. but definately not for the birth.

Cant understand these people who have teams of fmaily and friends in the room for that amazing moment - sometimes there are parts of our lives we should keep for just us as a couple, its not a rule your whole life should involve everyone else!

One of my fondest memories is the excitement on my mom's face when my children were born. It meant more to her than any gift I've ever given. She didn't ask - I offered. My OB even allowed her in the OR when my twins were born via c/s (which wasn't as much of a moment as the natural births I had).

 

[sbell111]

Our little girl is due in November. My wife and I have mutually agreed that I will be the only one witnessing the birth.

I would be very hurt if she chose to have her mother or sister in there instead of me.

Also, they are both kind of 'high drama', so having them in the room is not the best idea.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

One of my fondest memories is the excitement on my mom's face when my children were born. It meant more to her than any gift I've ever given. She didn't ask - I offered. My OB even allowed her in the OR when my twins were born via c/s (which wasn't as much of a moment as the natural births I had).

I completely understand this. My husband was more like a deer in the headlights, while mom was coaching me, urging me on and, at times, was my drill sergeant who make sure I didn't "lose it". I told her, if you let me scream once, it's all over. She made sure that didn't happen. She was there for me when I needed her, both supportive and strong, and kicking my butt when I needed it. I'm thankful my husband knew and acknowledged that he wouldn't be able to do what I needed of him. He had eye surgery as a child and is petrified of hospitals. He was more than happy to be there in small increments, and also happy he had the ability to walk away when it got overwhelming, and know I still had someone there to help me. I'm forever thankful they were both there to see my DD born. It meant the world to my mom, as I'm an only child, who has an only child.

And FWIW, I did not witness the birth of my daughter, per se. The doctor asked if I wanted them to wheel a mirror over so I could watch. I told him "It's bad enough I have to be here, I don't need to see it too!"

 

[islandmum]

One of my fondest memories is the excitement on my mom's face when my children were born. It meant more to her than any gift I've ever given. She didn't ask - I offered. My OB even allowed her in the OR when my twins were born via c/s (which wasn't as much of a moment as the natural births I had).

I can understand mums being there, for me no, but for others I get it.

I just dont get the sisters, brothers, fathers, friends etc etc ....

 

[binny]

other than Drs and nurses no one but DH! my policy was if you werent there when the baby was made you dont get to be there when the baby comes out!

 

[sunnyday123]

other than Drs and nurses no one but DH! my policy was if you werent there when the baby was made you dont get to be there when the baby comes out!

totally agree! It's not a Broadway show for pete's sakes, and there will be no beverages served! I was really not up to entertaining during labor and only my then DH was there.

 

[sunnyday123]

He and I had already discussed it. He and I feel that at that event, there would be not much he can do and personally I would just feel more comfortable with my mother because I know that she has a lot more experience in these matters (she has had 5 children) and would help me a little bit more then the fiance would. Maybe later we will change out minds but for the time being I just want my mother. The fact that he did not see the child come out of me does not hinder him from being a part of the child's life. Its just at that moment while giving birth I know the only person who can calm me down and help is my mother.

He wouldn't be able to do anything for you?? If he's your husband or even the father of your child, he should want to be there whether or not he feels he can "do" anything for you or not. He can hold your hand, talk to you or even sit in the corner and be quiet. If the only person who can "calm you down and help" is your mother, what are you going to do once your married?

 

[GJM]

My DH was there and honestly he is the only one I wanted there at the time.

Originally Posted by alexandria674 View Post
He and I had already discussed it. He and I feel that at that event, there would be not much he can do and personally I would just feel more comfortable with my mother because I know that she has a lot more experience in these matters (she has had 5 children) and would help me a little bit more then the fiance would. Maybe later we will change out minds but for the time being I just want my mother. The fact that he did not see the child come out of me does not hinder him from being a part of the child's life. Its just at that moment while giving birth I know the only person who can calm me down and help is my mother.

Why wouldn't you want your DH there - isn't he going to go to Drs. appointments with you, see the ultrasound. Even if he can't "calm you down" as you say - wouldn't he want to see the birth of his child? Even if he is just in the room, does he really want to just be sitting in the waiting room?