who wants to trade family members for the holidays?

[funkychunkymonkey]

ill give up one nagging aunt. nothing is ever good enough for her, or quiet enough. Ill keep her husband though (we all like him). shes just a PITA and thinks her daughter (who were blessed is broke and not comming this year) is better than me just because miss holyier than thou has a university job.

Im at a loss for my grandma. Her hair lady dosent do gift certificates. Grandma wants no more plants, blankets, lighthouses. She gets very upset when we pay her bills. I did get her a new 8by10 of me for her wall and a nice 5 by 7 of the family so she could update her wall. We all hate the wall. for some reason she chooses the most embarsing photos for it. My current photo is me doing the tuttie ta dance at work. Oh and of couse the wall is right accrossed from the door.

 

[No.17CherryTreeLane]

Wow, I would definately give her knockoffs of everything on the list. Vera Bradley bag?? nahhh, I would go for the Mira Hadley bag, Nike??? not when a perfectly good pair of Mike's is a third of the price. Ugg's??? not when Walmart has Muggs for a fraction of the cost... I would have bunches of fun with her.

Drew

A Mira Hadley bag...I LOVE it!!!

 

[twooley2]

She also honestly believes that her children OWE her for being born. Yeah, we don't get along very well AT ALL! LOL

Oh I have a family member that thinks this too. I am told this is the old way of thinking when people had values. Go figure...

 

[momtosam]

Just reading the title of your post made me laugh. Thank you for starting my day off right . BTW, I have one mother for trade!

 

[Virgderon]

"So while I hate to say it, I'd do anything for a "normal" relationship with my mom (never had that, don't know what it's even like) and to not be going though this at all, let alone at the holidays and even worse when time is literally running out. "


MickeyMom I've got nothing , but hugs. You past experiences I'm sure make you a much better, more empathatic mom. You know what not to do, which is sometimes just as valuable as knowing what to do.


I was going to trade my stepson who mooches off of DH and hasn't been able to find a job for a year (probably because he is not trying and would rather play video games), but I realized he might be better than most of the people offered for trade here!

 

[punkin]

Hmm...not a lot of actual trading going on in this thread. It seems to be mostly donations.

 

[Bearshouse]

(Also, if anyone has a budget idea for a good gift for grandparents who have everything........I'd like that too!)

So each year we make the grandparents a present. One year it was painted boxes from Micheals with homemade cookies in it, we have also done painted ornaments, handprints in cement (also at Micheals), coupon books for things they like to do with the kids and the list could go on.


Btw I will just keep my family since I know what to expect and can control the way I react to them.

Bearshouse

 

[snowywhite89]

For a fee I will take each of them. I will put them all in a padded room and let them fight it out. I will even video tape the entire event.

 

[marie1203]

I will trade a SIL! She always wants us to have very expensive "share" gifts for her parents, for this gifts she "borrows" money from her grandparents that she never pays back. In every family event we have ever been a part of everyone has to be super careful to what they are saying because any minimal joke that might be about her or if someone is not paying enough attention then she will throw a huge tantrum. Oh yeah never ever go out to a restaurant with her unless you want to be embarrassed about saying the wrong thing and her yelling in front of everyone about it! All this an more if you want a great holiday with my sister in law just wait until she drinks everything times 10!

 

[neatokimmo]

Hmm...not a lot of actual trading going on in this thread. It seems to be mostly donations.

I'd like to trade for a 4 person extended family who looks happy when they see me. Not inconvenienced or irritated that I showed. I'd like a hug or a kind word at the holidays. I'd also like a bucket of positive vibes to sprinkle around the room.

What I can offer is two old people who don't give a d*mn, and two people that you can't have a conversation with without one of them getting jealous you are doing something more fun, or bought something better, or you save better etc.

Next!

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

Oh my gosh - what a clever idea!

Unfortunately, I got nothing..

Wait! That doesn't mean I have to take 2 others - does it?

Darn! I should have read the "rules" better before I posted..

don't worry! We won't leave you out just because you can't donate a person to the game. We'll make sure you get someone! It should be easy because some people are donating TWO!

 

[No.17CherryTreeLane]

You have to be kidding. That's really obnoxious. WOW.
Don't you dare get her anything on that registry. Please look for the tackiest thing you can find and give that instead. Promise me you will

Oh no, I'm not buying anything on that registry. The only person I shop for at Macy's is me!

I actually bought her a set of mixing bowls from JC Penneys back in September. They were on clearance. I hope the poor girl survives the trauma.

This thread is so funny! Especially the posters who will give their family members away and want nothing in return.

 

[Secretmagic]

I've found my own way to cope. A few years ago, I sat myself at the kids table (I'm 50). This is where the fun is! I ate their vegetables, we told secrets, nobody bothered us. Now I'm the "cool" aunt. Try it, no pressure at the kids table! A glass of wine helps too!

 

[dis-happy]

Cue the music...
"It's the MOST wonderful time of the year....!"

Has anyone else noticed that this song seems to be blaring at the most ironic times during your holiday season? Or is it only me????


Anyway, I'll toss in Holiday Accomodations for trade. Nothing like a mandatory stay at my aunt's house, sleeping on a hideous fold-out sofabed that puts your back out, a freezing cold room with no heat (the cheap UIL--uncle in law--detached the thermostat from that room), and worst of all, the filthy bathroom that no one bothers to clean for your stay. My poor sister spent the better part of a day trying to clean that bathroom to make it fit for humans the last time she was there. Oy vey!

 

[Planogirl]

Can I throw in my DH's whole family? They have made it clear that they are only somewhat interested in DH and not DS or I. Last year DS and I went to see them because DH had to work and it wasn't fun. It was your typical duty visit and I don't think that they cared that we were there one bit. If I hear the term "just an in-law" from one of them one more time I might just show them what an in-law can do.

Anyway, can I work it off or something?

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Hmm...not a lot of actual trading going on in this thread. It seems to be mostly donations.

'Tis better to give than receive...

I'll throw in 3 of my sisters and my MIL's stack of gifts. I don't want the sisters back (that's a whole other dysfunctional thread) but I'll keep the MIL (LOVE her!). She's wonderful but she somehow finds THE tackiest gifts and all from QVC. Luckily this year we found the wish list and managed to add a few things to it before she did her annual shopping in JULY! I kept warning my DDs to get their wish list items on it or face the random gifts. They didn't listen and at least one of them is now getting the singing Taylor Swift doll.

 

[richmond282]

Awesome topic!

Would anyone like to borrow my niece for the Holidays?

She is horrified with the prospect receiving gifts that are "sub-standard". So this year she, her husband, and her two precious daughters are registered at Macy's.

That's right...registered...as in "Are you kidding me, I thought that was for weddings and baby showers?"

Of course, she did this as a favor to the rest of the family - to make our shopping experience easier and to avoid those pesky feelings of awkwardness which arise from giving gifts that are .... disappointing.

See how thoughtful she is?

Someone take her....please.

Wow, I would definately give her knockoffs of everything on the list. Vera Bradley bag?? nahhh, I would go for the Mira Hadley bag, Nike??? not when a perfectly good pair of Mike's is a third of the price. Ugg's??? not when Walmart has Muggs for a fraction of the cost... I would have bunches of fun with her.

Drew

Go out and find the most God-awful, ugliest piece of knick-knack unusable trash you can find, go to Macy's and get an empty box for it, wrap it in beautiful paper, and when she opens it, smile beatifically and tell you that it wasn't on the registry, but you saw it and immediately thought of her and how well it would go on that table in the family/living/kitchen/bedroom of her lovely home. Then, if you ever go there, mention how much you're looking forward to seeing your gift in place as you picked it specially for her!

Oh, and don't forget to tell her that you lost the receipt, and it's a discontinued item to there are no returns!

I'm laughing so hard, my sides ache!!!

 

[dallastxcpa]

Wanted: One big, giant family. Even at our fullest, we've always been a small family and these days, we're down to just 3. I've always wanted the gigantic family experience where there are 40 people at grandma's house for Christmas and there are card tables and a million kids running around and a drunk uncle, chaos, and drama.

Oh the good old days. When I was a kid we always went to my Grandparents. My GP had 6 kids so their were 6 different families there with a total of 17 cousins. It was great. Everyone got along and their was hardly any drama. Not that there weren't issues I think everyone just put them aside out of respect.

Fast forward to today. I do not spend the holidays at my parents because of my siblings. So I am offering up a 40+ year old brother who's kids I am raising and who lives off Mom and a 40 something sister who completely ignored her kids when they were growing up and is now paying the piper (so to say). She left her DH a couple of years ago and has been through a slew of men since each one weirder than the next and she always feels compelled to bring them to family functions. For 11 months last year I planned a big family vacation to Disney in July. Over and over she talked about how she couldn't wait to go but never booked her accomodations. Well, about two weeks before we were about to go she informed me that there was no way she could go a whole week without seeing her current beau. I told her that if she brought him to Florida that was her business but I was not going to spend my vacation having dinner with a total stranger and was not adding him to the reservations.

I am also offering up a step daughter who is always too busy to bother with calling, texting, or making any kind of plans with her father. She normally calls the day of and says will be over in a couple of hours.... Forget the fact that we might have had plans. And then she shows up for two hours and leaves because she has other more important things to do. I guess it's too much to ask someone to spend a few hours with their family.

 

[tlbwriter]

'Tis better to give than receive...

In that case, I'm going to throw my narcissist sister and her nasty little mini-me teenager daughter. A matched set! Who wants 'em? I don't need anyone in return!

 

[deide71]

This is without a doubt the funniest thread I have ever read on the DIS.