Who feels like a Thread-Killer? Part 6

[Cruisin]

Hi Uraken

Robin, what's the link for the ticker that does the days?

Here ya go Cally.


http://v50.net/

Enjoy

 

[PrincessaC]

Here ya go Cally.


http://v50.net/

Enjoy

ty

 

[Cruisin]

Yeah she is all smiles everyting is hunky dorey around us - and I truly recognize the need for her to do the "poor me" thing she is 14 and I understand the "woe is me" and when they don't get their way then it's because we are mean and hateful people (parents that is) - I called my mom and asked her if I hated her this much if I was this unhappy - she said "Yes" so I told my mom I love her and I am sorry that I behaved that way (ah now I get it!!!) so do I chaulk this up to Teenage Agnst or do I delve deeper into the problem and find out if she is REALLY that unhappy being here and offer to send her packing.....DH is really PO'd (sorry for the abusive language) he told me that he is "not here to win a popularity contest and no matter the outcome it is a win-win situation - she either becomes a better person or she goes away and we save money" callus I know but that is DH - very black and white - I am the emotional one....

Anyway I ramble.....thanks

And this too shall pass.....

You could try just very casually dropping something into a nice conversation to try and get your answers without getting her back up. I always found it easier to talk in the car. Things have a way of coming out when you are driving somewhere together.

Something like .......... You know Elizabeth, I've really enjoyed having you here. It's been nice to have another girl around this house, especially with all these guys running around. I hope that you like being here with us too.

Just a thought. Maybe she will talk to you about things if she gets the chance and feels comfortable. Maybe she won't

 

[Cruisin]

ty

I see you got it to work okay.

 

[PrincessaC]

I see you got it to work okay.

Yep

 

[ophie]

Good afternoon TKers!

 

[TKERBELL]

Cruisin - Thanks for the idea about the car -

Cally - Southwest Ding last night for the tix - now to work on getting the rest of it to fall into place.....

 

[tiggerwannabe]

I use "car time" to talk to my kids as well...

It is more private, they also have nowhere to run

Remember that she came to you disgruntled, it is NOT your fault~

I like how Robin put your conversation opener as well...kids get their backs up very easily if they feel threatened in the slightest.~

My kids also have a myspace, is she on your "friends" list yet? Would you go so far as to try to add her (moreso she knows your out there and doesn't feel like you are spying on her.)

I hope she opens her eyes to see you are there to help her

I'll check back later...just snuck in before leaving work

TTFN,
~cj~

 

[Cruisin]

 

[TKERBELL]

TW - thank you for the hugs and for the humor and yes she & I are on each other's friends lists.....

BTW - if anyone is on MySpace here is my link http://www.myspace.com/tkerbell


So she came home from school I started the conversation with asking about her day which she gladly shared in detail then I began my quest to find answers - I began with the breakup between her and "the boyfriend" and my concern that she was very unemotional about it considering she "cared so much" about him I would venture to say that she even mentioned loving him...once we finished with that I told her that I was very proud of the grades she has been getting in school and I reminded her that it was one of the rules from the beginning and I reiterated the others - which segweyed into me saying " I want you to know that I was checking out your new layout on MySpace and I came across some distrubing issues" and the tears began to fall - I went thru in great detail how hurt I was that she would tell her "friends" how horrible Jeff & I are and all the other things as well - I explained to her that I generally do not ask a question that I don't already have the answers to so please don't make a fool of both of us by lying to me - straight up "are you happy here?" "are you regretting the decisions you made?" "are Jeff & I REALLY that bad?" - 4 hours later and we all realized that this was indeed a good thing for her - she understands that Jeff & I love her very much and we want to see her happy - and that we are here to help her - all of this will not be resolved in one night but will need to be nurtured just like any good relationship - It is hard to put in to a post the all the details of 4 hours - I think the outcome was positive and we are all working to make it better - Jeff & I want to trust her and as time goes by she will gain the freedoms that come with getting older - right now she has to understand "he who makes the gold also makes the rules" aka "my house my rules" she does not have to like them but she does have to live with them - she did agree that our house rules are not all that bad and that we really do these things out of love and concern for her and for her safety and the the same rules also apply to my boys.....

Anyway - thank you all again for just being there and for listening (reading) and for offering whatever advice you had - this thread really is the BEST group of people I never met in my life!!!!

Well gotta go and check some things out for my kiddos - I will check back later

 

[tiggerwannabe]

Anyway - thank you all again for just being there and for listening (reading) and for offering whatever advice you had - this thread really is the BEST group of people I never met in my life!!!!

ABSOLUTELY!!!

Know Why? Know Why?

We are the friendliest axe murderers and threadkillers in the nation



***[size=-2]the "know why" is actually a quote from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory (Johnny Depp version.) While on our cruise, we watched it probably six times that week and Stefanie picked up on the one thing Willy Wonka said when he was messing with one of the brats...Know Why! Know Why! [/size]

I'm on myspace too but theey're having server issues right now. I am CMarie, you'll be getting a friend request from me in the next day or so.

I am so very glad for all of you that you are able to have an open and honest conversation. The tears are because you care so much...the hugs are too

TTFN,
~colleen~

 

[KimRaye]

" I want you to know that I was checking out your new layout on MySpace and I came across some distrubing issues" and the tears began to fall - I went thru in great detail how hurt I was that she would tell her "friends" how horrible Jeff & I are and all the other things as well - I explained to her that I generally do not ask a question that I don't already have the answers to so please don't make a fool of both of us by lying to me - straight up "are you happy here?" "are you regretting the decisions you made?" "are Jeff & I REALLY that bad?" - 4 hours later and we all realized that this was indeed a good thing for her - she understands that Jeff & I love her very much and we want to see her happy - and that we are here to help her - all of this will not be resolved in one night but will need to be nurtured just like any good relationship - It is hard to put in to a post the all the details of 4 hours - I think the outcome was positive and we are all working to make it better - Jeff & I want to trust her and as time goes by she will gain the freedoms that come with getting older - right now she has to understand "he who makes the gold also makes the rules" aka "my house my rules" she does not have to like them but she does have to live with them - she did agree that our house rules are not all that bad and that we really do these things out of love and concern for her and for her safety and the the same rules also apply to my boys.....

Sounds like a LOT was accomplished! (I was going to suggest everything that Robin & Colleen suggested anyway, so there you go! )

 

[KimRaye]

I use "car time" to talk to my kids as well...

It is more private, they also have nowhere to run

ITA, and with my kids, they know I can't reach them and SMACK! them!!! Safe for all involved I guess!

 

[Cruisin]

ABSOLUTELY!!!

Know Why? Know Why?

We are the friendliest axe murderers and threadkillers in the nation

Janet, I'm glad that you've gotten off to a good start towards resolving your issues with Elizabeth.


Kim ~~

 

[KimRaye]

Thanks for the 'legwork' Betsy on NF! I look forward to more info.

Congrats U!

Everyone!!!!

Robin, glad we're on the same page!

 

[Cruisin]

Enjoy whatever is left of your evening Kim, I'm off to try and get some sleep.

I have to drive Liz to her hospital placement for 7:30 in the morning so I'll be up early.

Alex is doing his ambulance ride-alongs right now. He is spending time with one paramedic and working alongside of him for the next few months. Whatever hours the paramedic has, that's when Alex goes. He just did 2 7am-7pm day shifts and is finishing his 4th 7pm-7am night shift, with no days off between them. Then he is off until next Monday.

And so I'm off.

 

[Cruisin]

Thanks for the 'legwork' Betsy on NF! I look forward to more info.

Congrats U!

Everyone!!!!

Robin, glad we're on the same page!

I agree with Kim, thanks Betsy for all of your research time you've been putting in for us.

Kim... me too

 

[KimRaye]

Nitey nite Robin. Thanks for everything!

Sweet dreams!

 

[ophie]

Nite nite all!

Tomorrow morning I'm off to WDW to pick up my Passholder goodies from EE (at the

broccoli park) then it's off to So.Fla for some quality time with the man I love. Oh... and maybe an interview or two. But that's really secondary, isn't it?

 

[tinknutt]

Such BIG smiles - looks like y'all had a great time

Susan, did you say if 010707 was an option for you?

I'm workin' on that one....since I got DH on Alaska cruise......give me some time!!