Who else is burnt out on hosting Thanksgiving?

[disneydreamer1980]

I host for around 25-30 people (we’ve got a huge family) every year for about ten years now. My mother passed the torch to me. Id love to use disposable plates but we have my grandmothers China she got as a wedding present in 1949 and my oldest DD always insists on using it but it sucks because it’s not dishwasher safe. So that’s A LOT of hand washing. Luckily for me though since I cook I don’t clean up, that’s the rule around here. I started some things today (cranberry sauce, pie crusts, cake pops) and will make a lot more things that can be made ahead and reheated tomorrow. Busy week.

 

[Disneylover99]

To those of you hosting and feeling burnt out…..I get it. It can be overwhelming. And if you’re working full time and you’ve got young kids, it can seem impossible to get things done.

Over the years I’ve tried different things to make my life easier and feel less stressed. One of my favourite things to do is to ditch the turkey and order party size trays of Chinese food. I don’t do it every year, but when I do, everyone loves it!

If it’s the stress of tidying up your house, hire a cleaner. I’ve done that a few times too.

 

[focusondisney]

Just like gift exchanges as adults sometimes people are just over it entirely and wish to do something different.

This is me! I’m over most holidays & now enjoy quiet days with just my husband & myself. My adult son & daughter spend most holidays with their in-laws, which is fine with us. On Christmas & Mothers & Fathers Day, they start their days with the in-laws, then come here for dinner. No grandkids, so it’s all quiet & low key. I see my daughter regularly & we’re going to WDW with our son & DIL December 2nd. So I don’t worry that we won’t have Thanksgiving dinner together.

When I was growing up, holidays were huge, raucous days with a lot of extended family. In fact, Christmas lasted a week as we went to a different family member’s house every night between Christmas Eve & NY’s Day. As an adult, the major holidays were with my siblings & our families, mostly at my parents with everyone pitching in for food & clean up. I tried to do Thanksgiving at home when my kids were little. But my oldest sister had everyone else at her house so we finally started going there. Over the years, it got to be too chaotic for my tolerance. Her house is an old 40’s style with smaller rooms. I love all my siblings & their families dearly. But 30 + people at 3 different tables with 4 or 5 of us trying help sister to finish up the meal & clean up after had another sister & me saying “no more” more than once. The pandemic gave us a reason to finally just stay home. Two of my sisters now go to their kids homes. My oldest sister still hosts our brother & the other sisters family. She’d love it if the rest of us still came. But my husband & I are perfectly happy watching football at home with our own little meal.

 

[john7994]

First time in about 20 years we haven't hosted and I couldn't be more ecstatic - and by Saturday - we'll be in WDW.

 

[Disneyland1084]

- and by Saturday - we'll be in WDW.

PLEASE PLEASE stuff me in your suitcase and take me with you. I haven't been to WDW since 2017, and REALLY want to go again!!!!

 

[ronandannette]

No, quite the opposite in fact. I miss hosting huge extended-family feasts, which I did for many years at my elderly DMom's house in our hometown. It's 500 miles from where we live and since my parents are now both gone and the homestead sold, there's no longer a central gathering place so we don't go back near as often as we used to. Now when we stay home, I occasionally host friends but just as often we're invited as guests somewhere else. It's OK, but I love cooking and offering hospitality. It's a privilege for me, not a chore.

 

[tvguy]

This is my 12th year hosting Thanksgiving, and needless to say, I'm burnt out. The amount of people that come have dwindled over the years. My sister hasn't come for Thanksgiving in a few years. She lives a 4 hour car ride away and is on call for her job a lot. DH's parents are both gone. It's only my family, SIL, and my neighbor, her DH and son. My parents house is too small.Why doesn't my neighbor ever host? She's from Costa Rica, and although she's an excellent cook with recipes from her country, she admits she's not that good with standard American food. My SIL works too much and is lucky if she gets any holiday off. I use to cook everything from scratch, this year I'm buying some of the food already made. I'm doing my bread rolls from scratch, only because I would NOT be forgiven otherwise . No, I'm not complaining, seriously. Sometimes I just miss the holiday meals my MIL would make, and the ones my other SIL did. She moved to Idaho several years ago and we only see her in the summer. Anyone else feel like me?

This will be our 41st year to host Thanksgiving. All of those on the Saturday after Thanksgiving because Thanksgiving was never a day off work for my wife and I. We're retired, but our daughter has to work and it is easier for our two friends that come from 150 miles away on Saturday than on Thanksgiving. Most we ever have had is seven, we will have 5. We have slowly but surely simplified the menu.

 

[Disneyland1084]

This will be our 41st year to host Thanksgiving. All of those on the Saturday after Thanksgiving because Thanksgiving was never a day off work for my wife and I. We're retired, but our daughter has to work and it is easier for our two friends that come from 150 miles away on Saturday than on Thanksgiving. Most we ever have had is seven, we will have 5. We have slowly but surely simplified the menu.

41 years??? Wow! Good for you.

 

[Wendy31]

I've turned into somewhat if a Grinch in recent years. Used to love the holidays but I'm really over doing the work. My favorite days are the days after holidays now.

Yes, this is me too.

I‘ve gotten to where I just really don’t like this time of year at all.

We host Thanksgiving, & it’s just a lot.

And, while we go to the beach now for our own family Christmas, all the stuff still has to be done - presents purchased, meals/dishes planned for family get-togethers... and there’s always family drama on both sides .

(CONFESSION TIME: I didn’t much mind the year of lockdowns when it was just our immediate family of 5 for all the holidays.)

Oh, & funny story - last year, for Easter, we were hosting, so I decided to do a brunch w/ a start time of 11:00 am, & people did NOT leave until after 7:00 pm.

 

[tvguy]

41 years??? Wow! Good for you.

My wife likes to cook. Her mom did not nor did my mom. And once we had kids, it's sooooo much easier for them to be at home . Both our moms are gone now, so we really are the only option. Our daughter really doesn't have room at her house, and she is a vegetarian so not sure it would be fair to make her cook a turkey!

 

[disneychrista]

I have never hosted. But I am burned out on traditional holiday celebrations in general.

 

[disykat]

We often spend holidays with friends and we trade off. While I like when it's my turn, I admit I'm relieved not to be doing it this year. Taking turns and spreading out the work makes a big difference. We bring side dishes and help with cleanup too. All of our houses are open concept or small enough that everyone is involved in prep and clean up.

Make sure you get the dishwasher run and empty before guests come so a load of plates and glassware can go right in after dinner. If that runs on a short cycle while rinsing and stacking, I can usually get another load in before people leave. With the exception of the roasting pan and a few serving dishes that the host deals with later, we're usually pretty well cleaned up before everyone leaves. We have it down to a science.

 

[john7994]

PLEASE PLEASE stuff me in your suitcase and take me with you. I haven't been to WDW since 2017, and REALLY want to go again!!!!

Even throwing in one day to see the Grinch at UO … it’s our first ever holiday at WDW/UO - so excited to be away and not need to worry about prepping for Thanksgiving. I did learn that the Christmas tree needs to go up before we leave though …

 

[MIGrandma]

We don’t get together for Thanksgiving, not to have a meal anyway. DH and I are going to our daughter’s house later in the afternoon for pie and coffee. When my parents were alive they took us out for dinner on Thanksgiving, then after Dad passed we took Mom out. After she passed we just did our own thing.

Now about Christmas, I’m very burnt out on hosting. We have hosted the family Christmas gathering since about 1980. I’m more than ready to pass it on but the kids don’t want to take over. We do rent a hall for the day, so it isn’t at our house anymore so at least that helps. And everyone brings food so that part helps too. A lot of the details still fall to me though.

 

[NYCgrrl]

We don’t get together for Thanksgiving, not to have a meal anyway. DH and I are going to our daughter’s house later in the afternoon for pie and coffee. When my parents were alive they took us out for dinner on Thanksgiving, then after Dad passed we took Mom out. After she passed we just did our own thing.

Now about Christmas, I’m very burnt out on hosting. We have hosted the family Christmas gathering since about 1980. I’m more than ready to pass it on but the kids don’t want to take over. We do rent a hall for the day, so it isn’t at our house anymore so at least that helps. And everyone brings food so that part helps too. A lot of the details still fall to me though.

It’s hard when you are ready to pass the baton and no one is there to catch but in part it’s just a testimony to how good a hostess you really are .

My Nana thought up the best way to “break it to us gently”. Over a year every time the older granddaughters visited she gifted us with one (or more) of her cooking and baking utensils. The recipient always felt extra special as if she could now conquer the world. All was well until the next holiday came along and she was asked what time we should come over. She announced she wasn’t cooking as she’d given away all the needed pots . Smart cookie

 

[tony67]

I think there was a similar thread recently but yeah - we are done now that both my parents passed.

We pretty much only did most holidays for their benefit, not the rest of the moochers who think brining a paper plate with cheese and crackers is good enough. Wish I had a photo to show just how bad it was.

We are talking a paper dixie plate - not even themed to the holiday - maybe to a different holiday like fourth of July because it was 90% off. And its not like this guy was broke - he made six figures and lived with my parents.

Also had some friends who came over a few times. He made crazy money and they would bring the cheapest bottle of wine - thunderbird would be better. One time it was a chocolate wine that was 3.99 a bottle.
They would also bring leftover desserts from the church - I really don't want leftover deserts from a dessert table at the church - no idea who made them etc.. (im talkin pudding and jello - even ice cream once btw)

In the last few years it was worse as we had to cook all the stuff - bring it to my parents house and then reheat it all to serve. Was not going over there to cook - that would be even worse.

So yeah - we were burnt out and are done with it. Those friends are always hinting that we should take turn hosting holidays - no thanks.

 

[_19disnA]

The whole day truly is a group effort.

I think that is a big key to making Thanksgiving (or any large gathering) successful. Even preparing the turkey can be simple/complicated and generally the results won't be that much different. One person doesn't need to plan/cook/bake/organize/setup the table/etc. and do all the work themselves. Thanksgiving can be as simple or complicated as you choose to make it. If hosting at your house, ask each guest to bring a side dish/dessert/snacks to spread around the prep work/cost. If you are invited to someone else's home for Thanksgiving, offer to help with setup/cleanup. Don't just sit in the living room expecting the host to wait on you.

Doubt most people need/want 12 side dishes that take hours to prepare. Figure out what is reasonable to serve and eliminate unpopular dishes few ever eat. I doubt anyone will leave hungry. Agree on some sort of rotation for the various holidays as to who will be the host so no one person is always stuck with the work.

 

[wvjules]

This is my 12th year hosting Thanksgiving, and needless to say, I'm burnt out. The amount of people that come have dwindled over the years. My sister hasn't come for Thanksgiving in a few years. She lives a 4 hour car ride away and is on call for her job a lot. DH's parents are both gone. It's only my family, SIL, and my neighbor, her DH and son. My parents house is too small.Why doesn't my neighbor ever host? She's from Costa Rica, and although she's an excellent cook with recipes from her country, she admits she's not that good with standard American food. My SIL works too much and is lucky if she gets any holiday off. I use to cook everything from scratch, this year I'm buying some of the food already made. I'm doing my bread rolls from scratch, only because I would NOT be forgiven otherwise . No, I'm not complaining, seriously. Sometimes I just miss the holiday meals my MIL would make, and the ones my other SIL did. She moved to Idaho several years ago and we only see her in the summer. Anyone else feel like me?

Stop hosting.

 

[HopperFan]

Not just the hosting but many years having to attend big extended family (and some friends) meals. Meals where I had to cook multiple dishes and be expected to spend most my day there with a crowd, and work at cleaning (as I should to help the host).

Finally decided to pack a bag and be gone out of town. After a few years no one expected us so we could stay home and do something small if wanted. For about 6 years straight we headed to beach but this year spending at DD with brand new grandbaby. Next year likely back to the beach.

I always hated these holidays where I spent a couple days cooking, cleaning and setting up ... serving ... and cleaning again. It is NO HOLIDAY for me.



ADDED: Well today is the day .......... I am baking pies, making from scratch stuffing, boycotting green bean casserole by making broccoli cheese casserole, two appetizers, packing a cooler of drinks, bringing a specialty cocktail (apparently there is a contest), bringing chargers for the tables (there are 200 leftover from a wedding), passed on the Kroger Cranberry Delight since they DOUBLED the price and I'm supposed to be there at noon for a five pm dinner ....... let's eat.

 

[hrhdhd]

Id love to use disposable plates but we have my grandmothers China she got as a wedding present in 1949 and my oldest DD always insists on using it but it sucks because it’s not dishwasher safe. So that’s A LOT of hand washing.

For your DD, I hope. The one who insists can do the washing.