Who doesn't like weddings and showers?

[cgcw]

I always send a gift but rarely attend a shower unless it's immediate family. We attend most weddings we get invited to.

 

[siouxsieQ]

I do NOT like showers or weddings. That is the reason we eloped. It was the smartest thing I've ever done.

 

[grinningghost]

Originally posted by siouxsieQ
I do NOT like showers or weddings. That is the reason we eloped. It was the smartest thing I've ever done.

You are so right. DH and I didn't elope, but we did get married at City Hall by a judge. The only attendees were my best friend as a witness and my DD. It was heaven. No party, no frills.

The reason I think weddings and showers are phony (at least all the ones I've been to) are probably too numerous to name - but I'll give it a shot:

1. We are not dressy people. We are horribly uncomfortable dressing up, and find that we need to go out and BUY something to wear because we don't own dressy clothes (another expense).

2. Our extended family is quite diverse. None of us really blends well with the others. When we must be in the same place, it's always a huge effort to find conversation that's comfortable.

3. I've yet to meet a bridesmaid that LIKED her dress. That includes me. Yet they must act like they love it, for fear the bride will be offended.

4. The food is often cold and terrible, yet everyone says things like "mmm, this is delicious, did you try it?" You just know they can't REALLY be serious.

5. The whole clinking of the glasses so the couple will kiss. Yuck - just tacky and stupid.

6. The bad wedding songs that get played at every wedding - "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang, The Hokey Pokey, you get my drift.

7. Getting sat at a table where you know NOBODY. You have zero idea how to start a conversation, so it always starts with something like "the bride looks really pretty, doesn't she?" or "the decorations are really nice" - and in reality, the bride might look pretty, but the decorations are uglier than toilet paper.

And there's alot more, I just don't have the time to type them, I have to go buy a shower gift and a dress for the weddings.

 

[tkyes]

wow - I guess I didn't realize how much people dislike weddings and showers.

I enjoy attending both. I'm invited to showers and weddings for a reason, I love and care for the guest (s) of honor. I can only think of a couple of weddings that I've been invited to that were for coworkers.

I'm just slightly speechless about the strong reactions from people on this one. I'm not trying to be mean, but some people sound bitter about attending these.

I hope people didn't dread coming to my wedding.


Tamie

 

[RUDisney]

I like weddings but I HATE showers. The only good shower is your own. I like weddings because it is one of the only times you get to see your extended family. I really think that I hate showers because I can't go to them with my DH. I really enjoy going out with him. If I have a choice to stay home and do the yard with him, or dress up and go to a shower with just the ladies, I'll pick staying home with him.

We were at a wedding a few weeks ago and sat at a table of strangers. We had the best time! I am a complete extrovert, so talking to new people doesn't bother me at all.

I like to dress up and go out, whether it's to a wedding or just out to a fancy dinner. I love the chicken dance and electric slide. I love to clank my glass to get the couple to kiss. The wedding is about love, and who doesn't like seeing the love that the couple has for one another. The food at the weddings we attend is usually very good. You get to know the places that have good food and those that don't.

I don't necessarily think that weddings are fake or phony. The party is what the bride and groom choose that it should be. If they want glitz, it's their perogative, if not, so be it.

I'm not trying to criticize your viewpoints. I think that all of them are relevant. I'm just trying to show you the opposite end of the spectrum is where my reference point is.

No one can work a room better than my best friend from high school. I strive to be as good at it as she is. Weddings are usually a good place to practice this art, IMO.

 

[Gette88]

Love weddings, showers - not so much.
As for my showers, wedding shower was a surprise and so was 1st baby shower. 2nd baby shower not a surprise and that was much better. I don't like surprise parties.

 

[katerkat]

Originally posted by grinningghost
3. I've yet to meet a bridesmaid that LIKED her dress.

I was about to say HEY!!! My girls loved theirs! Then I read....

Originally posted by grinningghost
Yet they must act like they love it, for fear the bride will be offended.

No, really, my girls loved theirs. The selection is getting better. Really! The only person who was slightly unhappy was my older sister, who didn't like the color. And she dyed it after the wedding and has worn it since. I even had a bridesmaid wear her dress before the wedding to a formal!

 

[mtemm]

I love weddings and showers, as long as the showers aren't too big. I prefer small house showers, which is what I had for both my wedding shower and my baby shower.

I really think my bridesmaids liked their dresses. Of course, I didn't go the traditional bridal store route. I went to Lord and Taylor/May Company and picked out a Liz Clairborne Night dress. Nobody needed alterations, they just needed to go buy their size. It was reasonably priced, I think my bridesmaids were even able to use a sale coupon. I took my bridesmaids into consideration when I chose the style and the color. 4 of my bridesmaids were redheads, 1 was brunette. No way was I going to put them into colors that I prefer...I chose one that looked good on all of them. Kind of an eggplant...looked pretty on all of them, and perfect for a fall wedding. I let them choose their shoes, not buy dyed ones. I told them to just get any black patent leather pump and it looked great with the dresses. some chose higher heals than other. They've all told me they liked the dresses. They would be easy to wear at another dressy function...they weren't fussy or typical bridesmaidy.

We had a smallish wedding...only 100 people or so. It was perfect for us, and everyone who attended seemed to really want to be there.

One of our last single friends is getting married this fall...already I'm looking forward to attending! It will be outside of Philly...we'll need to spend money on travel and a hotel. And I can't wait! Hmmmm...what dress shall I wear....hmmm...

 

[Keli]

I like all weddings, love to attend them and usually cry if I know the couple well (dispite my promises to myself that THIS time I won't cry, lol, I just can't help it) and I enjoy buying a gift for the happy couple.
But I'm not so fond of showers. I've been to good ones that I really enjoyed but I've been to more of them that I felt bored or out of place. That is usually at large showers. I would much rather go to a small shower that includes a lot of guests I know. I think brides should have a few small showers that don't overlap guests rather than one large one that includes lots of people that don't know each other.

 

[ChibiJones]

I don't mind going to wedding ceremonies, but I hate going to wedding receptions for two reasons.

1. I absolutely hate dancing. I'm no good at it and I don't care to practice to get better at it. There is no way I'm making a fool out of myself in public.

2. I don't drink either. I have tried various alcoholic beverages over the years & haven't liked a single one. Beer, wine, champagne, etc are all yucky to me.

So, that about covers 90% of what you do at a wedding reception.

We plan to elope to WDW after I finish school. The plan is to get married & then go have fun in the parks.

 

[cdnmickeylover]

Had to laugh at this thread. Don't particularly like weddings or showers but have been to a number of them over the years. Am at the point where I pick one thing from each and make it humourous so now talk about the "swordfish wedding", the "food wedding" etc. It somehow makes it all more bearable.

I'm also not fond of 1st birthday parties.

I eloped so did not have a wedding shower, did have a baby shower which was ok but didn't like being the centre of attention and did have people suffer through the 1st birthday party thing for my DS -- I apologize for all those that had to attend including my ex-MIL.

My brother and SIL's wedding was the longest year of my life. The planning went on and on and on and the cost was high --- I had to buy a wedding gift, shower gift, bridesmaid dress ( which I did like and have worn since but still $400???), shoes, and then had to rent a tuxedo for my DS who was in the wedding party also -- did not realize how expensive that was $125!!! (He was 10 at the time) And this was 1997.

Since then there's been 2 baby showers -- is it only me that doesn't consider a stroller, highchair, rocking chair and other big ticket items shower gifts??? My SIL got all of the above plus crib and changing table and chest of drawers for the first baby shower. My gift of a handmade baby blanket (I knit) seemed inadequate. Did the same for the second baby shower.

Not bitter about attending these events by any means just don't enjoy them all that much.

Cdnmickeylover

 

[suzannen]

If I'm close to the bride and groom, I love weddings. If I'm not that close - a cousin, etc., where you don't know many people, then not so much.

I've never liked showers. When I got married, I told my friends and family to please NOT throw me a wedding shower or a baby shower. For wedding showers, I've heard way too many people complain that they resent being "hit on" twice or more for gifts with engagement parties, showers, plus wedding gifts. I had a small wedding (65 people) and my DH and I were given truly beautiful, unbelievably generous gifts that touched my heart. As far as baby showers, I became superstitious after two friends lost their babies in their 8th and 9th months of pregnancy and then had the pain of having to return everything from the shower. I told all my friends, if they felt like they wanted to give a baby gift, to please wait until the baby was born and we knew everything was okay. Once again, people were so kind and generous. I never missed not having showers.

But, that's just me. My mom loves all that stuff!

 

[BWVDenise]

Oh, good, I'm not alone. I don't like them either!! For all the reasons you stated and then some!

 

[MomE@Home]

I learned from other peoples showers (bridal & baby) and weddings how mine would not go:
No games
No multiple showers
No chicken dance at reception
No garter toss
No open bar
No strip clubs
No lingerie shower(who in their right mind needs 15 pairs of crotchless panties ?)

 

[RUDisney]

Originally posted by MomE@Home
I learned from other peoples showers (bridal & baby) and weddings how mine would not go:
No games
No multiple showers
No chicken dance at reception
No garter toss
No open bar
No strip clubs
No lingerie shower(who in their right mind needs 15 pairs of crotchless panties ?)

Without a chicken dance and open bar... was there any fun?

 

[Luv2Roam]

Thank goodness I am past that stage.

 

[MomE@Home]

Hi again RUDisney ! LOL, yes we really did have fun at our reception-just not as many people blasted out of their minds dancing like chickens !

 

[Luckymommyx2]

Thank goodness I'm not alone!! I can't stand showers or weddings! My husband's side of the family and all of his friends have done it to me! I'm sorry but when the same sister has three consecutive showers wanting new things for every child that comes along, it gets expensive quick. All of the registering here and registering there, and might I add we want top of the line merchandise?! I'm not a cheap skate by any means but there has to be a point. I would not want to put that kind of obligation on anyone. I try to get out of them at all costs and just send a gift. Things get out of hand quick.

 

[grinningghost]

Please don't take it as me being bitter or hateful toward people that DO like weddings and showers, I just don't like them. I was just thinking about the two weddings that are coming up. Both of them are for my male cousins. Here's the stressful part for me. I see my cousins at weddings and funerals, that's about it. Obviously they have loads of friends that not only see them more often, they KNOW them much better than me. So that kind of leaves me feeling like an outcast. Thankfully, my parents and DH will be there and we can sort of hang out together. But that's the way it will probably go, the four of us, sitting together, talking together, eating together, which we can do at home for ALOT less money, and in our jeans and t-shirts.

 

[goofygirl]

Perhaps I'm the only one, but I really don't like going to showers (baby or bridal) or weddings. I just think they're so phony. I have a shower coming up and two weddings. I feel like I'm sentenced to the gas chamber. Please tell me I'm not the only one

You are NOT alone!
I hate wedding showers. I just get the feeling that they set women back many decades as they open up various appliances and go "ooohh!! aaaahh!" Ugh! I expect June Cleaver to show up! And why should the women have something SO BORING while the men go live it up as a bachelor party?? I think the idea of a bachelorette party is much better than a shower.

Baby showers- hate those too since I don't like babies and don't think everything to do with them is "cute".

Weddings- the ceremony part bores me, I am more into the reception- if there's good music, dancing and an open bar (LOL!) I will have a BLAST!!