White woman sues sperm bank after she gets wrong color baby

[wilkeliza]

I wonder if they thought "hey, how bad can it be? We're lesbian and getting by just fine." Then, after two years, they realized the difficulties were more than they anticipated. Personally, while I think some of their complaints are "silly" (specifically the hair one), IMO, they do have a case against the clinic. On the other hand, if they knew 5 months into the pregnancy, what steps were taken then? Obviously they couldn't "return" the sample, but did the clinic at least offer the procedure for free or at a discount, or something?

The clinic gave them a refund according to what I read. However they are suing for damages so we will see what comes of this. It really depends on if they signed anything when they got the refund.

 

[Gracie09]

The clinic gave them a refund according to what I read. However they are suing for damages so we will see what comes of this. It really depends on if they signed anything when they got the refund.

They offered a refund for the one vial that "took" not the other vials used in failed attempts.

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm shocked that anyone here would say to just focus on having a healthy child. Well, OF COURSE they are happy to have a healthy child.

How would you have felt if you had a baby that got switched in the hospital? Even if it was healthy and you had grown to love it, someone would need to take responsibility for such a life altering mistake.

 

[Allison]

They label the sperm vials . That is how you would know you have the wrong number specimen. They should have verified the number. The bank may have sent the wrong order, but it surely had the correct label on it.

Why are you making assumptions about labeling and such?

 

[Shmily1]

I didn't feel it was so much that they were wanting alot of money frivolously but that they were trying to bring attention to this and hopefully prevent it from happening to another family. If the company had to pay a large sum, they are more likely to come up with a new plan to keep from messing up like that again, where as with just paying out the refund, it didn't hit them hard enough to make them do anything. I hate it for the family because when they are going through all the racial stuff with her, I would hate for them to be thinking "this wouldn't have happened if they'd given us the right vial". It is sad for them all.

 

[Gracie09]

I wasn't going to post but I have a unique perspective one this situation. Having used donor sperm to conceive, isn't ways this situation is horrifying. The bank we used had several checks before we placed an order. We would call, give the number we wanted, the type ( there are different washes depending on the type of insemination) and of course payment and shipping information. Before anything is processed we get an email to confirm all the information in writing. After it's shipped we get a packet of information about the donor (most we already had from when we choose him) but we can also verify the identity. Then our doctor would call when it arrived and read us the numbers of the vials. Then before we start the procedure we are given paperwork with the number of the vials to verify. We are asked right before insemination (or in the case of ivf when my eggs were harvested) the id number for our vials. Then we were shown the empty vial or a photo of them (with ivf since we can't be in the actual lab) with the number of the vials. It may be overkill but at any point if there is doubt we pause the whole process and verify. I can understand how if they were repeatedly told 830 right instead of 880 they could get confused and think that was right.
As for a white couple raising a mixed race child, we are adopting a mixed race child and it some ways it is more difficult than raising my white daughter. A lot of people are pooh poohing the hair issue, but hair, especially in an African American community is very important. How a child's hair looks reflects on her parents. The hair styles are different. The texture is different and requires different care and products and yes, a specialist to cut and style it. I tried bringing my dd to a curly hair specialist at my normal salon and it was a disaster. The way African American hair reacts to cutting and styling is different than caucaisian curly hair. It took over a year to find a African American hair salon that was accepting of both her and me. She will grow up in a world where she will not quite be black enough and not be white enough. It is an issue that can greatly effect these kids self esteem and self worth and sense of belonging. We have taken extra steps to insure that our dd sees families that look like us. We belong to a multi-racial family meetup group, we have identified a therapist to help us deal with the unique challenges we will face as a family and she will face growing up. Most of the time there are no overt issues but even in my progressive town racism rears it's ugly head, like at the town pool when a tween looks at my dd and says what is the black kid doing here. In a manner that says she doesn't think a black person can live I the same town as her.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Are you the parent of a mixed race child? I am. The mother's comments are spot on. She did not make any racist comments. She spoke of the realities of having a mixed race child. There is plenty of racism directed towards children who are of mixed race. A lot of it is not overt. She did not create the racism. She did not choose to have a mixed race child, but she now has to deal with having a mixed race child.

No, but I have a mixed race relative and friends with mixed race and even 100% different race adopted children. They wouldn't be caught dead saying the things she has about her child.

Her conduct appalls me and clouds her legitimate claims.

She is behaving racist towards her own child. Her attitude is of her own making.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Are you the parent of a mixed race child? I am. The mother's comments are spot on. She did not make any racist comments. She spoke of the realities of having a mixed race child. There is plenty of racism directed towards children who are of mixed race. A lot of it is not overt. She did not create the racism. She did not choose to have a mixed race child, but she now has to deal with having a mixed race child.

I'm not sure why she chose to mention the fact that she'd never encountered black people before college though.

She paid for X & got Y. The business definitely failed to live up to their end of the bargain. She's received a refund. I guess she's owed more under the circumstances, but I'm not sure she's gone about it the best way.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm shocked that anyone here would say to just focus on having a healthy child. Well, OF COURSE they are happy to have a healthy child.

How would you have felt if you had a baby that got switched in the hospital? Even if it was healthy and you had grown to love it, someone would need to take responsibility for such a life altering mistake.

My focus would be that they gave me a baby that I didn't birth--not the difficulties of raising a child to another race. Apples and oranges.

Wrong vial should be the focus--not how hard it is to raise a biracial child. By focusing on the latter, it comes across very poorly. But if they live in a racist town as she claims, it would indeed make her case stronger of why this is so bad.

But any medical procedure mix up is bad because due diligence should always be taken.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm not sure why she chose to mention the fact that she'd never encountered black people before college though.

She paid for X & got Y. The business definitely failed to live up to their end of the bargain. She's received a refund. I guess she's owed more under the circumstances, but I'm not sure she's gone about it the best way.

Agreed.

 

[robinb]

daughter should sue the clinic for giving half her genes to lesbian parents...

Nice. SMH.

 

[declansdad]

No doubt it's a medical error, but complaining about having to travel to have her hair done seems to be such a trivial complaint. My word, can't she learn how to do the little girl's hair?

So out of this entire issue, this is what you focus on? Give me a break!

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I feel bad for the kid.

I'm sure they love her but they HAVE to realize that what they are saying is going to have an effect on her!

I'm interpreting her comments as, "Now that I have a mixed race child I am inconvenienced". I can only imagine how the kid feels.

That said, I do feel like they are within their rights to sue.

 

[declansdad]

I would be thinking I am lucky to have a healthy child. People adopt children who have no similar appearances to themselves all the time. What guarantee did they have that their "order" would be correct?

Are you serious? This was a medical mistake; wouldn't you complain about a medical mistake?

 

[declansdad]

I am sure the clinic that the woman was inseminated at had her sign/initial that she was receiving the correct specimen. I think she may have some culpability in accepting the wrong specimen. I would be very surprised if she wasn't asked to verify before the insemination was done. They don't just walk into the room and shoot you up with the sperm and not double check. It doesn't work that way . Or did they have the sperm delivered to their house and they did it themselves ? There's a lot of details missing.

 

[Sabeking]

I feel bad for the kid.

I'm sure they love her but they HAVE to realize that what they are saying is going to have an effect on her!

I'm interpreting her comments as, "Now that I have a mixed race child I am inconvenienced". I can only imagine how the kid feels.

That said, I do feel like they are within their rights to sue.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I feel bad for the kid.

I'm sure they love her but they HAVE to realize that what they are saying is going to have an effect on her!

I'm interpreting her comments as, "Now that I have a mixed race child I am inconvenienced". I can only imagine how the kid feels.

That said, I do feel like they are within their rights to sue.

Agree on all counts.

 

[declansdad]

To those of you complaining about her hair comments in the article. I can pretty much guarantee there were more issues discussed in the interview but the writer decided to put the point about the hair in the article knowing the reaction it would cause.

 

[Kogo Shuko]

To those of you complaining about her hair comments in the article. I can pretty much guarantee there were more issues discussed in the interview but the writer decided to put the point about the hair in the article knowing the reaction it would cause.

I'm going to have to agree with you.

I read an article in a local newspaper here in Canada, and the only point they make about race being an issue is that the child will possibly be singled out and bullied at a predominantly white school, once the time comes.

And that really IS an issue. I have an adopted cousin who is Chinese, and when she was first introduced to the school system, in a predominantly white neighbourhood, she was seriously bullied for being different.

 

[nugov2]

I feel she is well within her rights to sue. As far as the couple of comments that people are upset about.....who knows why she said them. Maybe the interviewer baited her to say these things and they were just a couple of comments that were poorly phrased out of a ton of wonderful things she said about her daughter. Good journalist know that controversy sells. They also know how to bait people to say things and an inexperienced person wouldn't know how to be more cautious in choosing their words. I am sure we have all fallen victim to a foot in mouth moment, but are just lucky enough to have not been recorded and on the record. I have seen the pictures of them with their daughter and you can't fake that kind of happiness. I believe they are over the moon for their daughter, but when filing a case of this nature they are going to be asked difficult questions and it is possible her comments are not reflecting her true feelings.

I disagree she will look back on that and not feel wanted. Like a pp who brought up children switched at birth...should those parents not have fought to find their birth child and because they did does it mean they loved the child they raised any less? Does an child who is adopted love their parents because they seek out their birth parents? I am sure while doing it, if interviewed some of their answers would make it seem as though the people who raised them aren't good enough, but the reality is that is not the case at all.