Where do you stand on this?

[cabanafrau]

An airplane is not a diner or fast food restaurant. Even if it is available, there is no POS system, credit card terminal or pricing to buy first class meals a la carte. Despite her claim that she offered to pay, it seems that she was relying on there being an extra meal provided for free. I understand that she tried to get her daughter to eat on the layover because she knew there could be issues if she became hungry on the flight. Why then play roulette and board the flight, knowing it will be 4.5 hours or more before hot food would be available and that there are negative consequences to the daughter becoming hungry or thirsty. Yes, she should have made arrangements in advance. And then also, knowing that she didn't, they could have chosen to request a later flight before leaving Houston.

Why are you making that assumption? Not that it matters either way. The mom behaved poorly and then had to deal with the consequences.

Exactly, I had similar thoughts upthread. The mother gambled and everyone lost out. Vegas couldn't stay in business operating on that theory.

One of my coworkers just pointed out that the mother could be considered in neglect for proceeding with no certainty her daughter's needs could be met. Would be interesting if protective services paid a visit and opened a file, not that I think the resources should be used to do so, just an interesting consequence.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

It seems to me that the culture in the US, and perhaps many other non-"backwards" countries, is very accommodating to the needs of those of different disabilities. This notion that every demand must be met is pathetic. It seems some don't want equal rights and accessibility, but more rights.

The culture in the US is very accommodating to non-disabled, neuro typical people. The world is designed for that group. If you fall into that group, you have been accommodated since the day you were born.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I'm gonna need to check my white guy neuro privilege now, right? Such a busy, busy day and now this.

 

[Luvchefmic]

As a white female I am one step beneath you so don't feel too badly Goofy_Disney_Dad

neuro typical I DESPISE that term

 

[cabanafrau]

The culture in the US is very accommodating to non-disabled, neuro typical people. The world is designed for that group. If you fall into that group, you have been accommodated since the day you were born.

I think every person, neuro typical or not, feels shortchanged in some area or another -- the grass is always greener syndrome. Wallowing in that mindset doesn't make it easier to solve anything or improve prospects for the future. Delineating and labeling groups as "other" with that kind of attitude serves no one.

 

[gwynne]

.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

Why are you making that assumption? Not that it matters either way. The mom behaved poorly and then had to deal with the consequences.

The primary reasons:

It obviously depends on the airline and route, but first class passengers usually get at least two meals choices, making duplication somewhat necessary. Not all first class passengers will want the meal. Not all first class passengers originally scheduled for the flight will be on board.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Just a few generations ago, special needs children were routinely sent to institutions. Often as infants. Many never saw a family member ever again. Many never saw beyond the walls of their facility ever again.

When you know better, you do better. Those facilities are not the ideal place for special needs children to reach their full potential.

There have always been and always will be people with special needs. Despite how things were "back in your day" special needs children are now growing up in the same society and environments as you and your NT children.

Get used to it. Special needs children will be in the grocery store, school, mall, WDW, and everywhere else you normally find children. This generation of parents will not be locking their children away like sending an unwanted pet to a shelter.

The number of children on the spectrum is on the rise, especially in little boys. There is no consensus on why this is happening, how it could be prevented, or even the best treatments.

If you don't like it, please feel free to rent a private jet, or better yet move to some backwards country where people with special needs are still locked up, abused, and ignored.

<<<<------- Mother to a child with special needs that is cognitively impaired, has sensory issues among other things.

I agree with what your message is but that has nothing IMO to do with this thread or the people posting on it. The issue is not that this child was out in public, nobody is saying that she should be locked away etc. The issue is with the MOTHER and her attitude and lack of prep work. She expected the airline to do her job and threatened them if they didn't. Not cool IMO.

I adopt the popular mantra in our "community" of parents which is "Prepare your child for the world, don't prepare the world for your child." This holds true for all parents but it especially hits home to "us". I have never and will never expect others to do for my child when I am unprepared "or else". I don't expect unreasonable things to be done. I prepare my child to go out in the world and this includes preparing him day to day by making sure he is ready, he is fed, he is comfortable and I as his primary cargiver am as prepared as I can possibly be. I also don't put him into situations that would push his buttons unless I am fully prepared to deflect in whatever way is necessary.

The mother was wrong IMO. I have no sympathy for her at all in this situation.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

I think every person, neuro typical or not, feels shortchanged in some area or another -- the grass is always greener syndrome. Wallowing in that mindset doesn't make it easier to solve anything or improve prospects for the future. Delineating and labeling groups as "other" with that kind of attitude serves no one.

There is a big difference between feeling short changed and having a disability. For some people, the grass IS greener. A change in attitude is not enough for someone disabled. The ADA exists for a reason.

 

[SMD]

The primary reasons:

It obviously depends on the airline and route, but first class passengers usually get at least two meals choices, making duplication somewhat necessary. Not all first class passengers will want the meal. Not all first class passengers originally scheduled for the flight will be on board.

What disability causes a person to turn down the hot food options in the airport terminal, the hot food option that her mother brought on the plane and the sandwich option offered to her. And also makes all of the other food options in her booked fare class unacceptable. And at what point does it become the airlines responsibility to come up with a 4th or 5th option? And who is responsible for the consequences of not accommodating these requests? If it's the airline's responsibility, it's clear that their accommodation is an emergency landing and to book the person on another flight.

 

[aaarcher86]

There is a big difference between feeling short changed and having a disability. For some people, the grass IS greener. A change in attitude is not enough for someone disabled. The ADA exists for a reason.

It does. To make it equal for the disabled, not better.

For whatever reason, many parents feel it entitles them to anything they feel would be helpful.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Yes, someone did say the mother used Autism as a threat. In capital letters. I really don't want to involve that poster in this discussion, so perhaps reading more carefully would help you better understand as well.

That was me, in response to your prior post. The one and only threat that occurred in this whole situation was the mother threatening that her daughter would possibly harm others if not provided with a hot meal right then and there--and she used the fact that her daughter has autism as an excuse to make this threat.

So, yep, in a way the threat was "big scary autism thing" will happen if you, the airline, do not do what I demand right now. Not cool. Not right. And not an accurate or fair image of autism to put out there either. It feeds a lack of understanding of the complexity and range of issues and personalities that autism entails rather than fostering understanding and acceptance.

 

[ez]

I have a child with autism and when I read the story I thought that the pilot really didnt have a choice if the mother was threatening her daughter may harm people. It's been a long time since we've flown with my son but that being said he doesnt really have behavioral issues and I think he would do fine. I took him on a train from Florida to NY last summer and he LOVED it wants to do it again.

 

[cabanafrau]

There is a big difference between feeling short changed and having a disability. For some people, the grass IS greener. A change in attitude is not enough for someone disabled. The ADA exists for a reason.

Obviously the ADA is necessary. It does not apply to the circumstances of the flight this family took in this thread. A change in attitude would indeed have made the difference for this family -- a change in the parent's attitude. Let's not overlook that this family has, by their own admission, been privileged to travel quite extensively. That same level of privilege does not exist for all neuro typical people, which is an inequity caused by many factors. Where is the uproar about that?

No amount of accommodations offered can remove the disability. No one likes that answer, but no one is to blame for it either. Life is not fair. It's bound to be a whole lot more unpleasant if one regards everyone else with hostility and resentment, likely increasing feelings of disadvantage -- a psychological factor that crosses the neuro typical boundary.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

<<<<------- Mother to a child with special needs that is cognitively impaired, has sensory issues among other things.

I agree with what your message is but that has nothing IMO to do with this thread or the people posting on it. The issue is not that this child was out in public, nobody is saying that she should be locked away etc. The issue is with the MOTHER and her attitude and lack of prep work. She expected the airline to do her job and threatened them if they didn't. Not cool IMO.

I adopt the popular mantra in our "community" of parents which is "Prepare your child for the world, don't prepare the world for your child." This holds true for all parents but it especially hits home to "us". I have never and will never expect others to do for my child when I am unprepared "or else". I don't expect unreasonable things to be done. I prepare my child to go out in the world and this includes preparing him day to day by making sure he is ready, he is fed, he is comfortable and I as his primary cargiver am as prepared as I can possibly be. I also don't put him into situations that would push his buttons unless I am fully prepared to deflect in whatever way is necessary.

The mother was wrong IMO. I have no sympathy for her at all in this situation.

I agree with your general message. I do agree that this mother (and all parents, really) should have done her best to plan for her child's needs. I disagree with other posters in that I don't think every situation can be forseen and planned for. Even though this child has apparently flown successfully many times, many people do not think she belongs on an airplane.

I understand the philosophy behind preparing your child for the world, as-is. But if someone hadn't stepped up and said the world isn't doing enough for my child and those like him, would we have mainstreaming in classrooms, assistive devices, wheelchair ramps, ASL, etc? No one is falling over themselves to make accommodations out of the goodness of their hearts, they had to be forced. So someone has to be "that person" or "that parent". There have always been and will always be those who: blame the parents for the disability, are jealous of the accommodations, think any extra help is "entitled", etc. It's a good thing some people don't care about naysayers

 

[cabanafrau]

The primary reasons:

It obviously depends on the airline and route, but first class passengers usually get at least two meals choices, making duplication somewhat necessary. Not all first class passengers will want the meal. Not all first class passengers originally scheduled for the flight will be on board.

You've listed "reasons" for your opinion, but I don't see much in the way of evidence or logic or reason to back them up.

 

[morgan98]

I know I am late to the game posting on this topic, but the behavior and the demands from the mother are ridiculous. Anyway who flies at all these days should know that a plane on a few hour long domestic flight is not a flying restaurant. Heck, usually you are lucky to get one of those bags with 10 mini pretzels or 10 peanuts in them, let alone a hot meal. Even first class does not get a hot meal unless the flight is a certain length. I am thrilled when I can get Biscoff Biscuits on Delta on my snack (which is not that often).

The mom should have purchased something for the child in the terminal or made her child eat in the terminal. She should never demand special food or anything from the stewardess. And yeah, I don't think saying the daughter will scratch if she does not get her way was the right way to approach it at all.

No one is saying the daughter should not be allowed on the flight. However, flights are in such close quarters and since 09/11 there are so many "rules" about behaviors in flight, etc. the mom was completely out of line for not dealing with the situation ahead of time.

 

[Magic Band Defender]

You've listed "reasons" for your opinion, but I don't see much in the way of evidence or logic or reason to back them up.

I gave logical "reasons" behind my assumption. Unless you can prove me wrong, I don't see how your assumption is more valid or reasoned than mine.

 

[cabanafrau]

I agree with your general message. I do agree that this mother (and all parents, really) should have done her best to plan for her child's needs. I disagree with other posters in that I don't think every situation can be forseen and planned for. Even though this child has apparently flown successfully many times, many people do not think she belongs on an airplane.

I understand the philosophy behind preparing your child for the world, as-is. But if someone hadn't stepped up and said the world isn't doing enough for my child and those like him, would we have mainstreaming in classrooms, assistive devices, wheelchair ramps, ASL, etc? No one is falling over themselves to make accommodations out of the goodness of their hearts, they had to be forced. So someone has to be "that person" or "that parent". There have always been and will always be those who: blame the parents for the disability, are jealous of the accommodations, think any extra help is "entitled", etc. It's a good thing some people don't care about naysayers

No one has helped out of the goodness of their heart? No one put in their own time, effort, creativity to create assistive devices, build wheelchair ramps for those who need them, learns ASL on their own volition, etc., etc., etc.

Those kinds of ridiculous absolutes render any validity in your message silent.

 

[NewRVLady]

The primary reasons:

It obviously depends on the airline and route, but first class passengers usually get at least two meals choices, making duplication somewhat necessary. Not all first class passengers will want the meal. Not all first class passengers originally scheduled for the flight will be on board.

New details-well lookey here-the flight attendants DID get her TWO DIFFERENT meals.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/mother-chides-united-removing-autistic-teen-plane-30985175

The conflict came May 5 on the family's flight home to Portland from a trip to Disney World.

snippet-"The girl had refused to eat at a layover in Houston and had turned down nuts, raisins, a granola bar and Juliette's favorite blue Jolly Ranchers that the family had packed, Beegle said.

Beegle said Juliette wanted a hot meal, so Beegle bought a chicken sandwich on the plane and asked the flight crew to warm it in a microwave. The crew refused, she said, telling her the sandwich would get soggy.

Beegle said she told flight attendants that her daughter was about to have a tantrum, and that she could scratch someone.

After about 40 minutes, the mother said, the crew got the teen a hot serving of jambalaya from first class, "and she was perfectly happy."