Where do you make friends?

[Sthronds]

Where did you meet your close friends?

I have a hard time making friends. I don't trust very easily and so most people give up on me. I have 3 really close friends. One lives in England, one lives 4 hrs. away and I just found out that my only local friend is moving to Colorado. I have friends at work but I don't socialize with them and the same goes for church. Where can I go or what can I do to make new friends that I can socialize with? It's getting pretty lonely in my world. Any suggestions?

 

[icebrat001]

I have one friend a 6 hour drive away whom I haven't seen in 2 years. Then I have my SO, but we live together and that doesn't count.

I don't have any other friends.

The people on the Dis are my friends.

 

[clarabelle]

A big part of church for me is having something in common with the fellow church goers. We tend to have some similar beliefs and that makes it easier. If you get involved in the small groups at church (maybe you already are) or start doing some kind of "job" at church that is a good way to meet people

Also volunteer work is a good way to find people you might have something in common with
If you are an animal nut volunteer at a shelter. If you like to be outside maybe habitat for humanity. Museum Docent or tour guide maybe.

Another thought is if there is a sport you like. My cousin met his wife at a running club. I cycle and there is kind of a camaraderie among riders (we all wear those silly tight shorts and talk about bike stuff all the time).
Good Luck!!

 

[mickeyboat]

Where did you meet your close friends?

I have a hard time making friends. I don't trust very easily and so most people give up on me. I have 3 really close friends. One lives in England, one lives 4 hrs. away and I just found out that my only local friend is moving to Colorado. I have friends at work but I don't socialize with them and the same goes for church. Where can I go or what can I do to make new friends that I can socialize with? It's getting pretty lonely in my world. Any suggestions?

It's hard, isn't it? My mother didn't have a lot of adult friends. I don't know if she just didn't like to socialize, or if my dad didn't like to. Now that they are divorced, she seems to have several good friends.

I relate that because since I didn't see a good example of having good friends, I really struggle, now. My best friends are people from work, and I think the relationship is maintained because my friends work hard on it. I don't feel I contribute that much. I mean, I am friendly with other people, and can always find something to talk about, but I am not making real and lasting friendships, just acquaintances.

Here are a few suggestions: Reach out to the people you already know. Invite someone and their family over to dinner. Join the PTA and make friends with your kids' friends. That's what I am trying.

Hope it works for you.

Denae

 

[FreshTressa]

I honestly think it is part of our culture...ppl are too busy for friends.

I have two close friends that I don't see very often since i moved, and my mom is a good friend.

My problem is that all of my interests are in very male dominated fields and my husband does not like me to have male friends.

I don't get along well with women...I'm too direct and pragmatic.

 

[Just2554]

You know, I have alot of friends, but not alot of close friends. I mean, I can sit down at school and someone will always find me and come and talk. But outside of school, I don't see alot of people.

I have my best friend who I've known since sixth grade. We go to different colleges now, but we both live near home, so we're only about ten minutes apart. I have my boyfriend of course. And I have my sister...now that we're getting older, our 6 year age difference doesn't seem so big and I'd easily consider her one of my best friends.

Other than that, there's not alot of people haha. I think it's mostly because I'm so much of a homebody...I would rather be at home on a Friday night watching a good old movie in my pjs than out at a party. I go to a party maybe once a month...and usually because my best friend makes me. And I would rather spend my breaks at school curled up in an armchair in the library reading a good book than socializing. It doesn't really bother me though...I like who I am and my lifestyle, so I really don't give it much thought.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

I only have a few close friends--Jess, who i have known since 6th grade and goes to college 2 hours away, Brad who lives an hour away, Kristen who lives almost 3 hours away, and Jess who i go to college with...
But i would rather have a few close friends that i could go to no matter what..than have a ton of friends ..

I kinda have the same problem as Just2554---I am a 21 year old college junior but i am not a big party person--i cant drink because of the medications i am on..i dont mind staying home relaxing on the weekends...Im happy with my life, although some times i wish i were more outgoing, but this is just who i am

 

[disykat]

I have some dear old friends that I keep in contact with, but my local friends are from my Mom's group at church or people I got to know through working with them in PTA. Small groups or volunteer stuff where you have to have meetings and work closely together has worked for me.

One of you does have to take the risk and suggest getting together outside of the group though. It's almost like "dating" at the beginning because you have to risk rejection when you invite them to tea or whatever! For me, asking if they want to meet me for a walk (for exercise) has worked really well. Most people are trying to put exercise into their schedule so it's a great way to socialize.

 

[AMcaptured]

I have had the same close friends ( I can count the friends that matter to me on one hand ) for over 20 years now, since college. I would have NO idea where to go to find new ones.

Its funny, my daughter has a lot of friends and their mothers will always say, lets go get some coffee, etc but I always have something else to do and to be honest with you, I have no desire to get "chummy" and socialize with them. Its nothing against them, I'm just to busy dealing with my own life and family ( I have three sisters with families that live in town) that I don't want to hear about all the crap going on in anyone elses.

However, if all my friends lived that far away I would feel the same way you do. Perhaps you could go to one of those knitting groups that have started up all over the place??? I think I could tolerate a sewing/knitting circle. I just don't want to have to start entertaining...

 

[Tigger&Belle]

What types of activities do you enjoy? Do you go to religious services? Do you have children? If so, how old? Do you have any hobbies?

 

[Sparx]

My best friend I've known my whole life. I don't know what I'd do without her.

My other friends I just meet. I'm hte kind to talk to random strangers, so I just start a conversation, and I make friends that way.

I say just talk to people. You'll be surprised how much you have in common with the every day stranger.

 

[rt2dz]

I wouldn't say I have very many close friends, lots of casual friends. I meet people through my kids--school, playgroup. I belong to a couple of clubs that interest me. I volunteer at church. After awhile, some of those casual friends are just people you start seeing more and more and they become closer friends.

Good luck!!

 

[Ladyhawke10]

I met a lot of friends through a local mother's club when I first had my baby. I make friends fairly easily but oftentimes you don't build that bond with new people unless you see them on a regular basis--in the mother's club we met weekly so after six months or so we were all best friends. Now that I've moved away from the area where the club was, I've made a couple friends with moms that wait to pick up their kids at the same time as I am after school. I also talk to people at work (though it's mainly been superficial so far since I've only been there a few months) and maintain connections with my old friends. I'm fairly aggressive with looking up old friends and reuniting with them, which is usually pretty fun and beneficial to both of us. Also, I meet people through my freelance jobs as well--so it might be beneficial to try volunteering since that situation would be a little similar to the way I meet people through freelancing public relations projects. One job I have now is doing the promotion for a film festival, and there are lots of opportunities for that type of volunteer work as well (renaissance faires, wine festivals, food festivals, spa expos---we just had one of these in our local outdoor fashion center--very fun and classy!). It takes a little work to get yourself out and keeping getting out, and making the effort to start and keep connections, but it becomes more familiar and then the connections build on themselves.

Have fun!