Where are all the Gentlemen?

[Mister Incredible]

On two separate occasions, I've held the door at a Dunkin Donuts open for some older ladies who were leaving with their coffees. Not only the door they were coming through with their coffees, but I took the extra steps to open the next door leading to the sidewalk. Both times each of the women made a big deal about this little good deed. Me, I didn't or never think twice about it. Is being a gentleman a lost art? I couldn't believe the fuss they made, is this not common anymore??

 

[ScoJo15]

It's funny you say that because I get some "surprised" responses for doing the same thing....like others are not doing it anymore. When I grew up, you are supposed to get the door for the ladies and treat them properly. I have to use two sets of elevators everyday at work and get comments all of the time for allowing the ladies to enter & exit first (holding the door for them). I noticed that not too many other guys are doing the same thing.

Here's to being a gentleman, Mister Incredible!

 

[NMAmy]

I'm married to one. His mom had four boys and they're all the most polite guys I've ever seen. DH even knows really obscure things--he explained to me that the gentleman should always go last when following a lady up a set of stairs and in front of her going down a set of stairs. Apparently this is so if we should trip and fall, we'll have something soft to land on.

He opens doors for everyone and stands when a lady comes to the table and will never let me carry anything except my purse. It sounds exhausting to me but I do appreciate these little courtesies.

 

[luvmydogs]

I think that in today's society, courtesy and manners of all types are not what they used to be. There's a greater entitlement mentality, rudeness abounds, and it can be all about me, me, me... I'm generalizing, but I've found that many older people are more appreciative of the sort of kindness that you displayed--possibly because it's not necessarily the norm anymore. My father, who's 71, will still stand up if a woman enters or leaves a room--I don't even know if that's taught to young men that much anymore!

I certainly do appreciate good manners and "old fashioned" gentlemanly behavior, and would've given you a very sincere thank you. Little kindnesses can add up in a big way.

 

[DawnCt1]

I have raised some gentlemen, but just a thought. In the seventies, feminists went through a period of time where they let men know that it was "rude" to assume that women couldn't open the door for themselves. I don't think that this was a "contribution" that either men, women nor society needed.

 

[disneymom3]

I am working on my boys to let DD go first and to be polite and open doors. Right now, they either push the wrong way or argue about it to see who is going to open it first so it's not going well. DH opens doors for me, but I had to teach him to do it. (A couple of times of standing outside the car waiting while he was already in it were all it took.)

 

[KelNottAt]

I have raised some gentlemen, but just a thought. In the seventies, feminists went through a period of time where they let men know that it was "rude" to assume that women couldn't open the door for themselves. I don't think that this was a "contribution" that either men, women nor society needed.

I think this theory has a lot to do with the "generational gentlemen's gap." Most of our fathers were targets of the feminist backlash and, because of this, refrained from teaching their sons some everyday courtesies. I can't blame them, at the time it was very un-PC to assume a lady needed or wanted assistance. I think it's a shame and a pity.

Thankfully, I think the pendulum has been swinging back to center for several years now and we, as parents, have a great opportunity to resurrect good manners and raise our kids to be gentlemen...and ladies, too.

 

[alabamaalan]

Funny. To be honest, around here whoever is at the door tends to open it. Yes, I am sexist enough that I try to get there first if it is a lady but generally if anyone is at a door (male or female) they will hold it for others coming.

 

[Hercules10]

Only if the chick(s) are hot.

 

[alabamaalan]

I've held the door at a Dunkin Donuts open... I couldn't believe the fuss they made, is this not common anymore??

Oh, I missed this point. Now I get it.

They were surprised because all of the polite people go to Krispy Kreme.

 

[arminnie]

Where are all the Gentlemen?

At Gentlemen's Clubs?? (my weak attempt at humor)

On a serious note, I always make it a point to thank people who hold a door open for me because I think it is rude to just walk thru and not acknowledge the person opening the door for you.

 

[ziggystardust]

I always make an effort to hold the door open, I think that is common courtesy (I'm a woman btw). Just like giving up your seat for someone that obviously needs it.

I do have to commend my DBF, he is always(almost) a gentleman. Even to the point where if we're walking down the street, he makes sure hes walking on the outside, so he can get hit by the car .

 

[Sparx]

I always hold the door open, but lately people don't even thank me or anything. I COULD let the door hit you, but I don't. Shouldn't I get a thank you for that?

 

[mommaU4]

My husband is a gentleman and I'm trying really hard to raise my son to be one.

I agree with Sparx, maybe people stopped being gentlemanly-like because others just didn't appreciate it.

 

[leahannpen]

I don't know, but I'm teaching my son how to be one!

 

[MICKEY88]

-he explained to me that the gentleman should always go last when following a lady up a set of stairs and in front of her going down a set of stairs. Apparently this is so if we should trip and fall, we'll have something soft to land on.

:

is that what he told you...hmmmm are you sure it isn't just because he likes the view...LOL

 

[MICKEY88]

I have raised some gentlemen, but just a thought. In the seventies, feminists went through a period of time where they let men know that it was "rude" to assume that women couldn't open the door for themselves. I don't think that this was a "contribution" that either men, women nor society needed.

I was going to post that thought,,I still occassionally will have a female snap when I hold the door, I simply tell them that I was raised to hold the door for everyone, female , male, old or young,,,


I have taught my 16 year old stepson to hold doors for people and it's fun to watch the reaction of people when a teenager holds the door for them, most do a double take, thank him, then smile at me...

 

[MICKEY88]

I do have to commend my DBF, he is always(almost) a gentleman. Even to the point where if we're walking down the street, he makes sure hes walking on the outside, so he can get hit by the car .

that's a pleasant thought.....actually walking on the outside predates cars, it's to catch the splash if a vehicle runs though a puddle

 

[parrothead365]

I was raised to hold doors,carry packages,walk on the traffic side of the sidewalk ect. I am teach my son the same things mostly by example. He will never sit on a bus at Disney when there is any adult standing. The older folks usualy thank him but the younger ones mostly don't. If we want out young men to grow up to be gentlemen then let them know they are doing the right thing. You will be amazed what effect a kind word will have.

 

[Disney Ella]

I'm female and hold doors for people, male or female, and have taught my daughters to do the same thing. It's what polite people do, whether they're male or female.