When you have a party...

[Micca]

You are a very generous person to be concerned about being a good host to your guests. Now with that out of the way...

90 is a big group and what you don't need is a big supply of leftover food you'll be freezing and eating for the next six weeks, or throwing it away. I'd invite people to a "Hot Dog Cookout" and explain in the invitation that you're having a picnic type party for your DDs graduation. Explain that you're providing the dogs, brats, the sides and fixins. For those who prefer something else, a red-hot grill will be provided! OK so maybe that isn't exatly Emily Post, but it's a picnic party, not a formal sit-down meal.

I'd also advise that running out of food isn't the worst thing, but running out of beer/drinks might be the end of the evening. I'd get a keg of regular beer and a keg of lite beer. Also buy several cases of bottled beer you might drink sometime in the future. If you run out of the kegs(not likely if half the attendees are under 21), then you can break-out the bottled beer which will have been iced down in the garage out-of-sight of the guests. If you don't need the bottled beer, it will keep for quite a long time (several months). This method all gives you an out if you feel like some of your guests have hit their limit(somewhat likely with college students in attendance--or me for that matter).

The main thing is your DD has graduated from college, a terrific accomplishment

 

[disykat]

I think it's just fine. I'm having a hard time fathoming how people think 2 kinds of meat, beans, watermelons, vegies, and 4 kinds of salads plus desserts and appetizers isn't enough variety.

I'm on a diet and would probably eat beans, watermelon (it's not my favorite fruit but I'd eat it) veggies, and probably some of two of the salads. That 's five things on my plate and would be more than I'm usually able to eat at events!

I recently had 30 people over and we had one kind of meat, one kind of fruit, one choice of bread, and three kinds of salad (green, pasta, bean) along with appetizers (veggie trays, chips, etc.) and dessert. It sounds like less than what the OP is describing and no one went hungry.

I feed large groups a couple of times a year, but I never would if I thought I had to provide a menu assortment of main dishes each time! I'm with the OP. I'm not a fan of little amounts of lots of stuff - I want enough so everyone who wants to can have helpings of everything. That would mean monster amounts of food if I wanted so much variety.

 

[mamacatnv]

No. My family and I get together a lot and we always cook a variety. It is just what we do.

Heck, we cook a variety at home for the 4 of us. That way we have leftovers and you don't cook the next day.

I was siding with her DH because I would have more of a variety.

I totally understand, our SuperBowl party is every single one of our favorite finger foods etc. we go way overboard and I love it but there are 10 of us not 90 and on top of me making all my fav's everyone else brings their favs it is a food orgy, but that is part of SuperBowl

We often do a variety here too, for the same reasons I get it!

I was just surprised at the accomodations people expect someone to make for a large party that has a theme etc.

 

[aprilgail2]

With 90 people I would include more choices. You menu sounds thin, sorry. I agree with your dh.

I agree to- some nice grilled chicken would certainly help that menu.

I think it's just fine. I'm having a hard time fathoming how people think 2 kinds of meat, beans, watermelons, vegies, and 4 kinds of salads plus desserts and appetizers isn't enough variety.

.

But it is all the same type of meat- processed nitrate filled things- hotdogs, brats, sausage....those are all one in the same to me. I would never limit even a cookout to just that type of item.

 

[disykat]

But it is all the same type of meat- processed nitrate filled things- hotdogs, brats, sausage....those are all one in the same to me. I would never limit even a cookout to just that type of item.

I guess to me, one type of meat is just normal. I eat it or not and figure everyone else will do the same. I'm rarely anywhere (except a restaurant) where there is a choice. Since I'm usually not real excited about the meat, I often skip it. I don't usually eat the turkey at thanksgiving, but I don't expect an alternate. I'm not a big fan of ham so Easter is the same. The same with a brat bbq. (I love brats, but can't eat them without consequences.) I just skip that part of the meal.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I think it's just fine. I'm having a hard time fathoming how people think 2 kinds of meat, beans, watermelons, vegies, and 4 kinds of salads plus desserts and appetizers isn't enough variety.

I'm on a diet and would probably eat beans, watermelon (it's not my favorite fruit but I'd eat it) veggies, and probably some of two of the salads. That 's five things on my plate and would be more than I'm usually able to eat at events!

I recently had 30 people over and we had one kind of meat, one kind of fruit, one choice of bread, and three kinds of salad (green, pasta, bean) along with appetizers (veggie trays, chips, etc.) and dessert. It sounds like less than what the OP is describing and no one went hungry.

I feed large groups a couple of times a year, but I never would if I thought I had to provide a menu assortment of main dishes each time! I'm with the OP. I'm not a fan of little amounts of lots of stuff - I want enough so everyone who wants to can have helpings of everything. That would mean monster amounts of food if I wanted so much variety.

That is really the only part of the menu that I, personally, would not do. Dogs and Brats are almost the same kind of meat, therefore around us are not usually considered two types of meat. Both of them are processed meats made from "other" parts of the animal. Even all beef hot dogs use the parts of meat that can't really be sold as regular beef.

I love hot dogs. Give me a good Hebrew National dog with lots of toppings and I am set. But many people I know pretty much gag at the thought of eating a hot dog or bratwurst.

I have never been to just a "Dog & Brat" barbecue. It has always been burgers & dogs, with brats thrown in as adult dogs.

That is why, if it were my party, I would be serving a second completely different type of meat such as chicken wings, grilled chicken breasts for sandwiches or just plain burgers.

I also would have a green salad just because I love a good green salad. I would also have lots of corn on the cob in chafing dishes. But that is just what barbecues are all about around here - burgers, dogs, corn, beans, salad and fruit.

Op, you said you are heading to Disney 10 days after the party. What better way to enjoy getting ready than by eating leftovers and not having to worry about cooking. Then go all out dining at Disney

 

[Acklander]

I was just surprised at the accomodations people expect someone to make for a large party that has a theme etc.

I don't think anyone expects people to make accomodations for them. I know when I go to a party that I would never expect them to plan the menu around me and if there wasn't anything I liked I'd just eat a little something to be polite and go on my way. I'd never think anything bad about the hosts, I'd just chalk it up to sometimes you win, sometimes you don't when you go to a party
I was answering the question from the point of view of hosting a get together. As the host, I want to make sure everyone has a good time while at my party. So, with a group that large I'd offer more of a variety to lessen the chance of striking out as far as the menu goes. It has nothing to do with snowflakes or catering to anyone, but just with wanting to make sure everyone has the best time possible.

 

[mjkacmom]

Around here, it's burgersanddogs at every bbq. Just buy frozen, and use them as you need them. I'd also do a green salad (dress it at the last minute - people eat dressed salad way more than having to add dressing, because it's hard to mix). You menu sounds good - I actually like having less variety with large parties, and then have enough of everything for about 80%. If you have too many items, I'm sure a lot will go before everyone has a chance to try it.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I don't think anyone expects people to make accomodations for them. I know when I go to a party that I would never expect them to plan the menu around me and if there wasn't anything I liked I'd just eat a little something to be polite and go on my way. I'd never think anything bad about the hosts, I'd just chalk it up to sometimes you win, sometimes you don't when you go to a party
I was answering the question from the point of view of hosting a get together. As the host, I want to make sure everyone has a good time while at my party. So, with a group that large I'd offer more of a variety to lessen the chance of striking out as far as the menu goes. It has nothing to do with snowflakes or catering to anyone, but just with wanting to make sure everyone has the best time possible.

Exactly. I'm always reminded of a co-worker who was invited to a BBQ. She offered to bring a bunch portabello mushrooms to throw on the grill with everything else for anyone to try, as she is a strict pescatarian. Her host laughed it off, of course there would be vegetarian options! They got to the party and co-worker gazed around at the meat, meat and more meat spread. She politely inquired about the vegetarian options and the hostess said, with some surprise that it was in the crockpot. . .they had Manwiches!

Co-worker ate salad and veggies and left as soon as was politely possible.

Been there, done that. If people don't linger at your parties and politely decline future events. . .there might be a reason.

It isn't the responsibility of the host to cater to every need, but it is not the responsibility of the guest to show up at future events if they don't feel welcomed either.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I guess to me, one type of meat is just normal. I eat it or not and figure everyone else will do the same. I'm rarely anywhere (except a restaurant) where there is a choice. Since I'm usually not real excited about the meat, I often skip it. I don't usually eat the turkey at thanksgiving, but I don't expect an alternate. I'm not a big fan of ham so Easter is the same. The same with a brat bbq. (I love brats, but can't eat them without consequences.) I just skip that part of the meal.

Ah, I see the disconnect! WE EAT MEAT.

The guys will wolf down a few brats as an appetizer and then eat burgers and chicken.

For dinner dh and I cook at least 2 meats. Usually steak and fish or chicken & steak. I rarely do brats and I never cook hot dogs. I don't care for brats.

It is just an odd combo to have all processed "meat" for your dinner. Normally it is burgers and brats.

 

[minkydog]

Exactly. I'm always reminded of a co-worker who was invited to a BBQ. She offered to bring a bunch portabello mushrooms to throw on the grill with everything else for anyone to try, as she is a strict pescatarian. Her host laughed it off, of course there would be vegetarian options! They got to the party and co-worker gazed around at the meat, meat and more meat spread. She politely inquired about the vegetarian options and the hostess said, with some surprise that it was in the crockpot. . .they had Manwiches!

Co-worker ate salad and veggies and left as soon as was politely possible.

Been there, done that. If people don't linger at your parties and politely decline future events. . .there might be a reason.

It isn't the responsibility of the host to cater to every need, but it is not the responsibility of the guest to show up at future events if they don't feel welcomed either.

Exactly. This has happened to us a few times. My DD17 eats a little fish, eggs, and cheese, plus veg/fruit/grains so she's really not that hard to feed. Unless we go to someone's house for dinner and they cooked all the veggies with meat. Then it's a fruit & salad night for her.

We would never make a big deal out of our dietary needs. I'm allergic to pineapple and cranberries, which seem to be in everything these days. I either avoid the dish if I'm suspicious, or I'll ask if it has those ingredients. DD never complains(and neither do I) but it really is nice when our hosts *ask* ahead of time so they can be sure they have a least a few things we can eat.

 

[yoopermom]

Grilled chix breasts can be done up largely ahead of time, and freeze beautifully. When defrosted they can be used in tons of things, and wouldn't go to "waste" like a more single purpose meat like hotdogs/brats might.

I don't want this to turn into a "leftovers/no leftovers" debate, but I don't think that freezing most of those items and eating them later would be that big of a deal...

Terri

 

[mamacatnv]

Ah, I see the disconnect! WE EAT MEAT.

The guys will wolf down a few brats as an appetizer and then eat burgers and chicken.

For dinner dh and I cook at least 2 meats. Usually steak and fish or chicken & steak. I rarely do brats and I never cook hot dogs. I don't care for brats.

It is just an odd combo to have all processed "meat" for your dinner. Normally it is burgers and brats.

Now see, last weekend we went camping the menu one night was Brats, Italian sausage and Hebrew hot dogs. We also had chili, grapes and green salad, I would never think to mix up burgers with that, we had the burgers the night before and the chicken the night after.

I know some things are regional and customs vary depending on where one is.

To answer the OP's original questions, I am siding with her, I think her menu is fine just up the quantities a bit

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Now see, last weekend we went camping the menu one night was Brats, Italian sausage and Hebrew hot dogs. We also had chili, grapes and green salad, I would never think to mix up burgers with that, we had the burgers the night before and the chicken the night after.

I know some things are regional and customs vary depending on where one is.

To answer the OP's original questions, I am siding with her, I think her menu is fine just up the quantities a bit

She can do what she wants, it is her party. I am happy to not have to plan it. My dd graduated last yr.

It doesn't matter in the end as long as they have fun.

 

[daughtersrus]

First thing first... can I have this recipe please? Pretty please? I beg you! LMAO. I love cucumbers and have 4 plants so I will have my fill this summer!

I honestly don't have a recipe but I can tell you that I start with 1 cup white sugar, 1 cup white vinegar and 1 cup of water. To that, I add very thinly sliced peeled cucumbers and onions. (several months ago someone here suggested using a mandolin to slice them with and I got one for Christmas. It's cut the slicing time down enormously!). I usually start with 3 large cucumbers and 2 large onions. I stir it really well and let it sit in the refrigerator for a few hours. Then I have DH taste test them. He'll tell me if it needs more sugar, vinegar or a little more water.

I make these at least 2 days ahead of time. I will warn you that I have a special cucumber bowl because no matter what, I can't get the smell out.


The pasta salad that I'm making is very similar. Here is the recipe if you'd like. Of course for this many people, I will make several batches of both.

1 box mostaccioli noodles
¼ c oil
¾ c vinegar
¾ c sugar
1 4 oz jar diced pimento (drained)
1 bunch green onions chopped (total stems)
1 green pepper finely chopped.
1 cucumber peeled and finely chopped
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
2 tsp Dijon mustard
2 Tbls parsley

Boil noodles and drain. Rinse under cold water. Coat noodles with oil. Mix vinegar and sugar and set aside. Add remaining item and mix well. Pour vinegar/sugar mixture over and mix well. Refrigerate for 2 days for flavors to blend. Shake/stir salad twice a day.

 

[daughtersrus]

DH, DD and I discussed the menu quite a bit today. We've reached a compromise. I've agreed to add chicken breast to the menu and DH has agreed that we won't have 1 1/2 of every meat per person. That way, those that want something besides brats and hot dogs should be able to have chicken. DD's only concern is that we have the cucumber pasta salad and bacon potato salad.
For now, we're keeping the rest of the menu as it is. We know everyone that is coming very well and no one is a vegetarian but I do appreciate hearing the concerns from those that are. I do try to take into consideration diet restrictions of my guests when planning a meal. My DSIL can not eat garlic so if I make anything with it, I always tell her.

Our last big party like this was for DD#2 two years ago. Pretty much the same people were invited. I insisted on getting a 1/2 barrel and DH wanted cans/bottles. We ended up returning the barrel with at least 1/3 left inside. This party, I'm agreeing to can/bottles. The only debate will now be how much of each variety. I know that we'll have Miller, Bud, Point and some kind of light beer. Since I'm really not a beer drinker, DH will pick out at least one other brand. I know that any leftovers will not go to waste.

I have a Margaritaville machine so there will be margaritas, daiquiris, lemonade... for the adults and those under 21 can have frozen virgin drinks. All of DD's friends are over 21. The only ones under 21 will be here with their parents. We'll have pop, lemonade and bottled water as well.

Again, thanks for the suggestions. I really appreciate them.

Keep them coming!

 

[Mickey's Minion]

DH, DD and I discussed the menu quite a bit today. We've reached a compromise. I've agreed to add chicken breast to the menu and DH has agreed that we won't have 1 1/2 of every meat per person. That way, those that want something besides brats and hot dogs should be able to have chicken. DD's only concern is that we have the cucumber pasta salad and bacon potato salad.
For now, we're keeping the rest of the menu as it is. We know everyone that is coming very well and no one is a vegetarian but I do appreciate hearing the concerns from those that are. I do try to take into consideration diet restrictions of my guests when planning a meal. My DSIL can not eat garlic so if I make anything with it, I always tell her.

Our last big party like this was for DD#2 two years ago. Pretty much the same people were invited. I insisted on getting a 1/2 barrel and DH wanted cans/bottles. We ended up returning the barrel with at least 1/3 left inside. This party, I'm agreeing to can/bottles. The only debate will now be how much of each variety. I know that we'll have Miller, Bud, Point and some kind of light beer. Since I'm really not a beer drinker, DH will pick out at least one other brand. I know that any leftovers will not go to waste.

I have a Margaritaville machine so there will be margaritas, daiquiris, lemonade... for the adults and those under 21 can have frozen virgin drinks. All of DD's friends are over 21. The only ones under 21 will be here with their parents. We'll have pop, lemonade and bottled water as well.

Again, thanks for the suggestions. I really appreciate them.

Keep them coming!

Your pasta recipe sounds delicious. Everything else sounds wonderful too. You sound like a great hostess for thinking about your guests.

When and where do we show up?

 

[Planogirl]

DH, DD and I discussed the menu quite a bit today. We've reached a compromise. I've agreed to add chicken breast to the menu and DH has agreed that we won't have 1 1/2 of every meat per person. That way, those that want something besides brats and hot dogs should be able to have chicken. DD's only concern is that we have the cucumber pasta salad and bacon potato salad.
For now, we're keeping the rest of the menu as it is. We know everyone that is coming very well and no one is a vegetarian but I do appreciate hearing the concerns from those that are. I do try to take into consideration diet restrictions of my guests when planning a meal. My DSIL can not eat garlic so if I make anything with it, I always tell her.

Our last big party like this was for DD#2 two years ago. Pretty much the same people were invited. I insisted on getting a 1/2 barrel and DH wanted cans/bottles. We ended up returning the barrel with at least 1/3 left inside. This party, I'm agreeing to can/bottles. The only debate will now be how much of each variety. I know that we'll have Miller, Bud, Point and some kind of light beer. Since I'm really not a beer drinker, DH will pick out at least one other brand. I know that any leftovers will not go to waste.

I have a Margaritaville machine so there will be margaritas, daiquiris, lemonade... for the adults and those under 21 can have frozen virgin drinks. All of DD's friends are over 21. The only ones under 21 will be here with their parents. We'll have pop, lemonade and bottled water as well.

Again, thanks for the suggestions. I really appreciate them.

Keep them coming!

This sounds really nice to me. You certainly do have a big variety of drinks and it sounds like it will be fun.

 

[mjkacmom]

Our last big party like this was for DD#2 two years ago. Pretty much the same people were invited. I insisted on getting a 1/2 barrel and DH wanted cans/bottles. We ended up returning the barrel with at least 1/3 left inside. This party, I'm agreeing to can/bottles. The only debate will now be how much of each variety. I know that we'll have Miller, Bud, Point and some kind of light beer. Since I'm really not a beer drinker, DH will pick out at least one other brand. I know that any leftovers will not go to waste.

I have a Margaritaville machine so there will be margaritas, daiquiris, lemonade... for the adults and those under 21 can have frozen virgin drinks. All of DD's friends are over 21. The only ones under 21 will be here with their parents. We'll have pop, lemonade and bottled water as well.

Again, thanks for the suggestions. I really appreciate them.

Keep them coming!

Well, since you asked... My DH loves beer - microbrew, standard - doesn't really matter (although if you had a keg of newcastle or anchor steam, he's be a happy man), but I rarely drink beer, or sweet cocktails, and prefer a glass of wine.

 

[MoniqueU]

Well I have only had one party that big and got giant pizzas of all kinds and chips and dips. I can't cook well and am super picky. This was for my sons 16th birthday and all teenagers like pizza I think.

I can't stand picnic food, thats just me. I am super picky and nothing on your menu would I eat. I think you need some more plain jane things.

One year at my husbands grandmas house she made a huge batch of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. That is about the only picnic I enjoyed.