When will I learn to stop inviting people

[BirdsOfPreyDave]

I warned her that I run a tight ship, and that even on vacation I make my beds, pick up everything and take out the garbage, hang up towels.... I treat it like my house. She said "yeah, maybe we should get our own room because we would drive you crazy!"

We traveled with some friends to a two-bedroom at VWL a few years ago. Their house is always so spotless when we visit, but when they're on vacation they're the type that hit the parks from rope drop to EMH. We tend to spend more time relaxing at the resort pools and doing the parks in shorter bursts.

We're like you, and like to keep the room neat and clean so we can enjoy it. I even run the vacuum on non-mousekeeping days. They stayed so busy they were always in a rush somewhere, and seemed to hit the room like a tornado.

It didn't bother me. We just agreed to keep the door to their bedroom closed. It was actually one of our most fun trips.

I couldn't help joking about their room, though. When I designed our PhotoBook, I put in a page that featured these two photos...

Our room

Their room

 

[Muushka]

What a difference in rooms!

 

[jimmytammy]

It is unfortunate that this time scenario happens so many times. It has happened to us on a couple occasions. Unfortunately, it begins to make you a little gun shy. But I think most DVCers have a giving heart and want to share their love of it with the ones they love. These type situations just toughen us a bit and make us a little more savvy when we invite others on how to deal with them upfront.

I remember this same type post coming up some yrs ago and someone wrote how we have an emotional attachment to our pts, because they cost us, plus we value them a lot more than those we invite. So we feel like others toss them aside like they are nothing while we cling to them like they are gold or our children. I just mention this because it may help to make clear why we feel like we do when others ditch us on trips and we feel stranded.

 

[Dean]

I remember this same type post coming up some yrs ago and someone wrote how we have an emotional attachment to our pts, because they cost us, plus we value them a lot more than those we invite. So we feel like others toss them aside like they are nothing while we cling to them like they are gold or our children. I just mention this because it may help to make clear why we feel like we do when others ditch us on trips and we feel stranded.

To a degree. Many have the feeling that timeshare are free once you own them so they don't see their impositions as having any real effect. We all know differently but this is how some look at it. Tie that to the fact that certain relatives are a problem unto themselves and you have a recipe for disaster.

 

[lilpooh108]

We're waiting to close escrow on our SSR points (currently non member) and I'm already trying to get my brother and sis in law to come with us on our December trip. I'm even considering paying for their cruise w/pts to show them a good time....this thread helped me remember to manage my expectations (of other people's behavior).

I do understand inviting people and getting the short end of the stick--one year, I was "in charge" of buying all of the airplane tickets for the ppl in my group from Miami to Nassau. One person "cancelled" and simply decided not to come. Guess who was stuck with non-reusable Delta "credit" which was non-refundable

I tried not to let that experience sour me, and hope that owning DVC will allow me to plan trips for my family and friends though--maybe I'm stupid but I love to share!

 

[Deb & Bill]

We're waiting to close escrow on our SSR points (currently non member) and I'm already trying to get my brother and sis in law to come with us on our December trip. I'm even considering paying for their cruise w/pts to show them a good time....this thread helped me remember to manage my expectations (of other people's behavior). ...

Do you have a reservation already? If you are buying a resale, you may have a hard time getting a December reservation.

 

[starstruck93]

We traveled with some friends to a two-bedroom at VWL a few years ago. Their house is always so spotless when we visit, but when they're on vacation they're the type that hit the parks from rope drop to EMH. We tend to spend more time relaxing at the resort pools and doing the parks in shorter bursts.

We're like you, and like to keep the room neat and clean so we can enjoy it. I even run the vacuum on non-mousekeeping days. They stayed so busy they were always in a rush somewhere, and seemed to hit the room like a tornado.

It didn't bother me. We just agreed to keep the door to their bedroom closed. It was actually one of our most fun trips.

I couldn't help joking about their room, though. When I designed our PhotoBook, I put in a page that featured these two photos...

Our room

Their room

Oh My! What a difference! Too funny!

 

[lilpooh108]

Do you have a reservation already? If you are buying a resale, you may have a hard time getting a December reservation.

We're closing hopefully Monday or Tuesday (all docs/funds in, just waiting for Disney to close seller's account). I'm super flexible at this point (only staying 3 nights after the cruise)--we'll take whatever we can get

 

[Snow Shoe]

We discussed taking our friends, and kids friends before buying into DVC at BWV in 98. Well to date we've only taken our adult kids and their families, and 2 kid friends of our DD's many years ago. So far only one of our DD friends has cancled on us. It was on the morning we went to pick her up. Since we invited, we paid for her meals, airfare and 8 day parkhoppers. Her mother met us at the door and said she (mom) felt that the daughter would get homesick and chose not to let her go. DD friend was a H.S. sophmore at the time. I have no idea if that would have been the case, but I sure would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when the kid got up that morning and found oud out she didn't get to go.

We're meeting our oldest DS and his family next month for a 8 day stay at BWV. This will be thair 5th time coming with us. They understand what they're getting from us!!

After the DD's friend that backed out, we decided that if ever again we invited someone to go with us other then our adult kids, that they would have to have a financial investment in the trip as well. We thought that $50-75 per night for the room cost, and making their own air travel arangements would be fair. So far, we've asked several friends, but when they hear about our requirements, they're not so eager to go. I wonder why?

 

[toniosmom]

Her mother met us at the door and said she (mom) felt that the daughter would get homesick and chose not to let her go. DD friend was a H.S. sophmore at the time. I have no idea if that would have been the case, but I sure would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when the kid got up that morning and found oud out she didn't get to go.

OMG....how did you not lose your cool at that moment? I think I would have asked for full reimbursement from the mother. It's amazing to me that people can be so inconsiderate. I mean, she doesn't have to "get" the Disney attraction, but she knew that you at the very least bought the plane ticket! And....the poor kid, to find out that very day that she couldn't go.

 

[dianeschlicht]

We discussed taking our friends, and kids friends before buying into DVC at BWV in 98. Well to date we've only taken our adult kids and their families, and 2 kid friends of our DD's many years ago. So far only one of our DD friends has cancled on us. It was on the morning we went to pick her up. Since we invited, we paid for her meals, airfare and 8 day parkhoppers. Her mother met us at the door and said she (mom) felt that the daughter would get homesick and chose not to let her go. DD friend was a H.S. sophmore at the time. I have no idea if that would have been the case, but I sure would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when the kid got up that morning and found oud out she didn't get to go.

We're meeting our oldest DS and his family next month for a 8 day stay at BWV. This will be thair 5th time coming with us. They understand what they're getting from us!!

After the DD's friend that backed out, we decided that if ever again we invited someone to go with us other then our adult kids, that they would have to have a financial investment in the trip as well. We thought that $50-75 per night for the room cost, and making their own air travel arangements would be fair. So far, we've asked several friends, but when they hear about our requirements, they're not so eager to go. I wonder why?

Do you mean to tell us the ungrateful "mom" involved didn't even bother to reimburse you for airfare?????!!!!! That's horrible!

We always make it explicitly clear that we are only offering accomodations. In a couple of instances we have purchased park tickets too, but usually we tell guests that they are invited to share our accommodations, but that park tickets and transportation to Florida are their responsibility. We also invite them to share food in the villa, but we expect them to pay for their own restaurant meals.

 

[ajf1007]

It's really amazing I think, how people take things like free accommodations for granted and I completely agree that to those who don't have DVC, they think it's already paid for, so who cares! It is so frustrating sometimes! One of the main reasons we purchased DVC (aside from being Disney addicts) was to share the experience with our family. We don't have kids and will never have kids so we're pretty close and generous with our nieces and nephews.

Here's where my venting takes a complete turn to crazy town! So, I'm arranging a trip for my brother and his family, my husband and I and my mom and dad (obviously the grandparents). Now, keep in mind this trip isn't happening until either October 2011 or Sept 2012. So in chatting with my mom today, she decided that she didn't think they (her and my dad) could afford it. I let her know that I was saving her lots of $$$$ in accommodations and since they were driving there, they would only have to pay for gas, tolls, food and whatever else they wanted to do. I also reminded her she has atleast over a year to save! She told me they probably still couldnt afford it and if they couldn't go..(mom and dad) that NOONE could go because she didn't want to miss out on grandkids first trip to Disney.

Now, I know they are my parents and I love them dearly...but I really am at a loss. I probably shouldn't have shared this on here, but I'm really really at a loss.

Ok, vent over - I'll have to put on my big girl panties and just put my foot down.

 

[Snow Shoe]

We got zip, nada, zero, nothing, goose egg! The only thing that was usable were the park tickets for next years visit. We haven't spoken to that family since. As far as loosing my cool over it all, at 3am in the morning (we were driving to DFW for an 7:30am flight to MCO) I just didn't feel the need at the time. However as the time went by I got madder and madder. Thankfully I was 1000 miles away and my wife kept the phone with her.

 

[jjbescher]

We invite people a lot for our trips. I do not know if DW and I had a trip by ourselves except for a few.

We have invited of our best friends, before and after they had kids. They know the commitment that we need so we do not lose our points. They take about a week after we invite them to make sure that they financially can do it and he can take off work. They have told us no before, but never after they committed to it.

We also invited friends we have met on the Disney Cruise. We knew they would not back out on us, since we have booked a cruise together and they have come to visit us at Disney other times.

This last trip, I was getting worried it was going to be just my DW, I and DD. We invited both of my SILs. THe middle SIL got pregnant and due 6 weeks before the trip. The other SIL had issues with her job. Her company got bought out and they were not going to give her time off(This was after she got permission and agreed to go). If either of them backed out, I would have understood. It ended up being a great trip for both of them and I am very glad that had fun.

My philosophy when traveling with friends or family. I will handle making all the Dinner reservations and the breakfast or lunch for places that they want, since DW and I have been a lot we are not too picky. I will tell you what parks I am going to go to and when I am going to go. If you would like to join me, then be ready when I am leaving or I will meet you at the park. If you do not want to eat at the restaurant I am going to go to, then let me know and I will book you a different ADR. If there is a day I have absolutely no plans and they want me to go with them, then I go on their schedule. I do not change my trips because of them. I did end up cooking a lot more the last trip because we were at the THV and I know it would be a pain to get to restaurants.
If they give me a list of rides that they WANT to ride, I will tell them what to do or go with them if they tell me and I planned my days. I have found that this has worked best for me because I am not in charge of making their stay. If they want to get stuff done and see all the parks, they normally wake up early and are out the door with me.

jon

 

[dianeschlicht]

We got zip, nada, zero, nothing, goose egg! The only thing that was usable were the park tickets for next years visit. We haven't spoken to that family since. As far as loosing my cool over it all, at 3am in the morning (we were driving to DFW for an 7:30am flight to MCO) I just didn't feel the need at the time. However as the time went by I got madder and madder. Thankfully I was 1000 miles away and my wife kept the phone with her.

I assume that was some years ago. Too bad folks don't understand how much their actions effect others. I'd have sent them a bill for the unused airfare!

 

[Snow Shoe]

It was about 8-9 years ago. When we got home from Disney, I really did think about sending them a bill for the nights and airfare, but my wife just didn't think it would have been a good idea.

 

[Jen_in_NH]

We went this past December with my parents, my sister, DH's cousin and her family. We didn't own DVC yet, so we were renting points. I was VERY specific up front with DH's cousin, as she can be a bit flaky about stuff, and is generally a bit tight on money. I made sure she completely understood that once the reservation was made, there was absolutely no way to cancel it. They were going to have to confirm in January that we were going in December.

I would totally travel with them, now that she understands pretty well how the DVC thing works. My parents get it - they actually bought the membership with us.

 

[dvcbnd]

We purchased our DVC in 1997 and our HGVC in 2002. We have always taken family with us, with the exception of our trip in 2008. That was our first and only trip so far with just my dh and our three children. I am longing for more vacations like that!

Don't get me wrong, we have made some wonderful memories over the years travelling with family. We have also had alot of fun, but I need a break.

Last year was our first negative experience in inviting extended family. We had invited my cousin (it would have been her first trip with us) & my sil (it would have been her second trip with us). The offer was extended a year in advance and I had to push them two months prior for a definite answer. All year they seemed undecisive but would not give me a definite "yes" or "no" answer. It was driving me crazy! I felt like they were waiting to see if something "better" was to come along for their summer plans.

Anyway, that was an eye-opener for me. It's time that my dh, and our dk's enjoy our DVC and HGVC alone for awhile.