When were you last victim of a mommy driveby

[npmommie]

I think we all do what we are comfortable with.
I try to avoid public bathrooms at all costs

 

[diznygirl]

I'm in the Better Safe Than Sorry camp. If something bad happens I don't want to play the coulda/woulda/shoulda game.

 

[NHdisneylover]

In real life the last time I had a parent drive by was about a month before we moved out of the US--so about 13 months ago. I had taken the kids into work with me for my 4 hour shift at our small town library. They too ksome money and their cell phones and walked down to a local deli for lunch (and to bring some back for us librarians). It was a 5-10 minute walk which involved crossing only one street (our sleepy downtown, 25 MPH Main street with crosswalks) which took them past the police station and several stores whose owners we knew.
An accquaintance who had literally driven by them called the library concerned that I might not know my kids were out in town "all alone." I confirmed that they were behaving themselves and walking where they should have been and then asked her what the issue was
BTW the kids were 12 and 10 at the time.

I don't run into this at all here in Germany where most kids are very independent. However, I have been villified on the DIS a number of times for various parenting issues.

You sure do run into these kinds of parents a lot don't you? I think it was you who got yelled at for singing Trent Resnor sons with your DD also. Am I right? (BTW--I was one of the parents on that thread who does not censor music). Anyway, how i handle this in real life is generally just to either totally ignore the person or to calmly tell them that their concern is sweet but I am comfortable with my parenting choices while smiling at them. Kidness seems to disarm most people like this.

For the record, both of my children were using many public restrooms alone by the time they were four. I personally couldn't imagine sending them to school (they both started kindergarten at 4) if they could not handle a public typical public restroom on their own. As far a "busy" restruraunt is concerend--I actually think it is SAFER somewhere busy (with lots of witnesses) than in a quiet and isolated area.

 

[BillSears]

DP and I were at dinner at a crowded restaurant last night. DD, 6, had to go to the bathroom and we let her go on her own.

A mother came by our table and spouted off that she could not believe we would let a child as young as our DD go to the bathroom by herself. She went on to spout all these "what if's". DP and I looked at her and told her that we do not live our life on what if's and told her basically to go pound sand.

DD came back proud she had gone by herself and for remembering to wash AND dry her hands.

Hates mommy drivebys.

Good for you!!!! There are too many overprotective parents out there. Kids need to be able to do things on thier own!

 

[monkeybug]

I've never been victim of a mommy drive by, or done a mommy drive by, but I've witnessed one!
My neighbor and I were having a yard sale, and a mom came with two of her kids. One was small (maybe 3 or4) the other older (9 or 10). Well the older one was very obviously developmentally disabled. Mom was trying to look and she was running around grabbing everything and knocked a few things over. The mom would start to look, see her daughter was getting into something and go grab her hand and lead her away. After a few minutes, she just sighed and said "It's been a long day for her, I think she is over garage saleing right now"
She apologized, and we said we completly understood, no problem at all! (because we did! We've all been there with our kids, they are just usually at a younger age)
As she was trying to leave her daughter threw a fit! (mom said she couldn't have something she wanted)
A woman walking up the driveway witnessed the girl throwing a tantrum (the kind a toddler might have) and had probably seen the girl running around a bit before she got out of her car. Well she laid in to that poor mom. Telling her she couldn't believe she would allow her child to behave that way, how she needed to be disciplined. She said it was disgraceful, and went on for a good few minutes. Well the girls mom (who I'm guessing had dealt with this sort of thing before) handled it like a champ. She just smiled and told the woman to have a nice day, then took her daughters hand and walked to the car.
After they had left the woman turned to my friend and I (we were speechless, in total shock and on the verge of tears. We just felt sooo bad for that mom.) and said "Can you believe that?"
My friend explained that the girl was developmentally disabled, and that even though she looked 10, mentally she was like a preschooler. The woman said "Well that's just no excuse! Children should never be allowed to behave that way, both that child and her mother need a swift kick in the...
I don't know who I felt more sorry for, that poor mom who probably has to deal with ignorance like that on a regular basis, or that woman who was so bitter and prideful she couldn't find it in her heart to have a little compassion for a disabled girl and a mom who was obviously doing her best!

 

[jrmasm]

don't you love it when your kids are so proud of themselves??? They just beam

Another one here who lets my child go to the bathroom by himself.

Me three.


My dh did a mommy drive by at Walmart and got thrown out of the store.

 

[Nik's Mom]

So how old do your kids have to be before they go into a bathroom alone?

You will probably get hundreds of different answers to that question. It depends on the individual child and the parent I guess.

I have 2 autistic children, so I'm sure my answer will be much different. My sons are 7 and 10 and I would not send them on their own yet. It's really hard for me to go some place with the kids when DH isn't with us.

I know we probably get dirty looks behind my back when I go into a restroom with my 10 year old, who is my height. But if there is no companion restroom, I have no other choice. So if any of you ever see a stressed out mom going into a public restroom with 2 boys, it's probably me. Say hi!

 

[smschex]

My dh did a mommy drive by at Walmart and got thrown out of the store.

Okay, we need details!

 

[Myothername]

Hi. My name is Jane and I am a bad mother.

When DS was about 10 we were at Outback Steakhouse. We were waiting for our table which you know takes a long time on the weekends. DH, DS and I waited at the bar for our table. DH and I had a drink and DS got a Shirley Temple mainly because he loved the cherries. Well a driveby mommy said very loudly that you should not have your child in a bar. I am sorry but I don't consider this a bar. Yes you can get drinks but there are tables and booths all around it with children sitting and eating. We were not even eating at the bar. Just waiting for our table. DH and I still laugh about it. Now when DS was 4 or 5 we used to take him to this one bar to hear bands play. They played outside in the back but we would sometimes eat inside. When he learned to read we had to put a stop to it. I bet you can figure out why.

 

[bumbershoot]

I wouldn't do what is being called so condescendingly a "mommy drive by" (or what I would call "expressing one's concern for the safety of a child, based on what might be actual knowledge of what goes on in bathrooms at that establishment, perhaps bringing to your minds that it's not a pollyanna lovely beautiful world out there"), but I would definitely be concerned in my head and heart.


I've started letting DS go to the men's room at the YMCA, alone, while I'm on the elliptical. But I can see the door to the bathroom, I can see who goes in and out. He feels alone and independent, but he's also watched.

There are plenty of years in his life that he will go to the bathroom alone...he can wait a couple more to be entirely and totally independent on his trips to the men's room.

 

[jrmasm]

Okay, we need details!

I don't remember the whole story but basically he saw a women smack her kid across the face. He told she shouldn't slap her 2 year old across the face. Woman goes crazy, causes a scene and he gets tossed out.

Morally of the story, it is acceptable to smack your 2 year old at Walmart. It is not acceptable to tell someone not to do that at Walmart.

 

[monkeybug]

I don't remember the whole story but basically he saw a women smack her kid across the face. He told she shouldn't slap her 2 year old across the face. Woman goes crazy, causes a scene and he gets tossed out.

Morally of the story, it is acceptable to smack your 2 year old at Walmart. It is not acceptable to tell someone not to do that at Walmart.

I'm a big advocate of not telling any one else how to raise their kid, and I try to keep an open mind, but if I saw someone smack a 2 year old across the face, I'd be getting my mommy drive by on!!!!
Is that even legal? (the smacking)

 

[NikitaZee]

Uh oh...here it comes.

How you doin' ToC?

Checking in to say hi as well!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...Morally of the story, it is acceptable to smack your 2 year old at Walmart. It is not acceptable to tell someone not to do that at Walmart.

It was none of his business, but why would WalMart care?

 

[jrmasm]

Seriously?

 

[npmommie]

It was none of his business, but why would WalMart care?

why was it none of his business? because it was a child? what if he had witnessed said person smacking another person across the face? what if they were smacking their grandma across the face in walmart?

 

[Kit'smommy]

I have never been the victim of a mommy drive by...

I month ago I did my first (and hopefully last). We were in AK and a woman kicked her 4 year old or so boy for acting up a little. She got him right on the hip and sent him sprawling. I was looking at her in horror and she made the mistake of asking me what my problem was.

Normally, I don't make comments to others about their parenting, but that was just, wow... I still can't believe what I witnessed.

 

[tinkntraining]

I have never been the victim of a mommy drive by...

I month ago I did my first (and hopefully last). We were in AK and a woman kicked her 4 year old or so boy for acting up a little. She got him right on the hip and sent him sprawling. I was looking at her in horror and she made the mistake of asking me what my problem was.

Normally, I don't make comments to others about their parenting, but that was just, wow... I still can't believe what I witnessed.

Love that line!

 

[surfergirl602]

I let my two older DD's go together, they are 7 and 9, but I won't let them go by themselves. Places around here are just too crouded, and we're never seating within direct site of the bathroom area. It's usually on the other side of the restaurant, around a corner and down a hallway. They go together.

 

[npmommie]

help "doing their business" isn't why they need someone else with them.
there are just too many pervs and weirdos out there. i don't even like to let my dd11 go alone! at least a friend or sister goes. at least just to make sure no one else is in there already, or to be there if someone comes in before she's out. UNLESS this is a 1 person bathroom, then even little ones can go on their own.

completely agree with this entire post