When were you last victim of a mommy driveby

[cheermom1]

at least walking them to the door, isn't interfering with their ability to go in pee, and wash their hands on their own, then you are there to see that they get out no problems.

watching out for our kids is not hindering them in any way.

a 6 yo has a tiny butt, what if they are in there and have a problem??
who is going to help them?

of COURSE I watch them go in and come out

 

[cepmom]

while I think it was rude for someone to say something to you, I would not have let my DD go alone either. Too many weirdos out there for me to feel comfortable doing that, unless I could see the entrance to the single restroom from where I was sitting. Some guy grabbed my DD9 the other day at a public skating rink...no way am I letting her go into a bathroom where I can't see who else could be in there with her

 

[DSNY4ever]

I don't have kids, so I can't really say. But I worked at a summer camp for many years and we were not allowed to let kids 5-9 go to the bathroom by themselves when we were on field trips. It became a pain sometimes because the whole group would have to stop, but I understood. There were some shady people that would hang out at places where we took the kids- zoos, museums, theme parks...weirdos hang around where the kids are!

 

[4nana]

Had I been in a 'crowded' restaurant and saw a 6yo in the bathroom alone, I admit, I probably would have thought her parents are too trusting in today's society . However I would not have done a mommy driveby ! I had my 8yo DGS out to lunch the other day - he had to use the BR. I asked him if he used 'the men's or ladies',
he said 'men's'. So I stood by the door till he came out. Had he not been out in a timely matter, I'd had no problems opening the door and calling his name.
Yeah, ya darn tootin', I'm a fierce helicoptering Nana bear when it comes to my grandbabies. IMO better safe than sorry!?!?!

 

[tinkntraining]

I guess it all depends on what part of the country you are from. I'm originally from California, where all you hear are tragic stories of kids getting kidnapped or raped. I certainly would not let my child go to a public bathroom alone at that age. I remember several years back, a 12 year old boy was murdered in a public restroom. His aunt walked him to the door and let him go in alone. She had no idea that there was some maniac in there who was waiting for a victim so he could slit their throat. I think this happened in San Diego. Now, I know that the chances of that happening are slim, but that story was so horrific that I know I wouldn't send my kid in a restroom alone unless I had no other choice.

It seems like the worst stories come out of California. I can tell you about a 5 year old that was kidnapped, raped and murdered. When she was kidnapped, she was playing in her own front yard. I could go on and on with these type of stories. There are some sick and twisted people out there.

Now that we live in Kansas, I see little kids playing outside and walking home from school all alone. It's rare that you hear stories of kidnappings, etc around here, so parents don't give it a second thought. But I certainly wouldn't pounce on that parent and lecture them. It's their kid and their choice.

Now to answer your question as to when I was a victim of a drive-by parent. I don't think I ever have been approached like that. That parent had a lot of nerve to approach the op. Like I said, it's your kid and your choice.

I remember that case -- it was absolutely horrifying.
I grew up in MD. One day, two sisters were walking home from the local mall. The never made it home. And despite all the years and the efforts of several different investigators, their bodies were never found. I was the same age as the youngest Lyon sister.
When it touches so close to home, I think you are a bit more over-cautious than some.
But, I'm not sure it's an "age requirement" so much as a maturity level requirement regarding determining our child's independence.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Is there anything more annoying than a "perfect" parent who just has to impart their "wisdom" on everyone, whether asked or not?

 

[HelenePA]

a 6 yo has a tiny butt, what if they are in there and have a problem??
who is going to help them?

Do you help your kids go to the potty at home at 6? what about at school

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I have always let my children go to the restroom when we were in safe places. Publicity about the few times there are problems make the whole world seem unsafe.

 

[Mickey527]

Another who would never let their son's go to the bathroom alone. I took them into the ladies room until they were about 5 or 6 but then tried to let them go into the men's room together. My boys are 31, 30 and 27 now but when they were younger they went together and were taught to make a stink if anyone came near them.
As they got older I would stand outside the door and have them singor whistle if they were alone, or talk to each other so I knew they were ok.
My 31 now year old had a little friend in nursery school who was molested inside the Burger King bathroom when he was 4 so I know it does happen. The guy told him to be quiet and took him into the stall and held him up on the seat while he did what he wanted. The mother called in and the guy told him to say he was ok. She said he sounded funny but she never questioned him because she didn't see anyone go into the bathroom so she thought he was alone and pooping/straining.
I now have a grandson who is 4, he won't be allowed in a public bathroom while he is with me. He likes his privacy so I let him go in the stall alone but I stand outside the door. He goes into the men's room with his dad but never alone.

And I never thought of kidnapping since I waited outside the door for them, but I could see the possibilites of it happenind.

 

[tinkntraining]

while I think it was rude for someone to say something to you, I would not have let my DD go alone either. Too many weirdos out there for me to feel comfortable doing that, unless I could see the entrance to the single restroom from where I was sitting. Some guy grabbed my DD9 the other day at a public skating rink...no way am I letting her go into a bathroom where I can't see who else could be in there with her

OMG! What did you do?

 

[cepmom]

OMG! What did you do?

I wasn't there...SIL took my kids and her kids to the frog pond in Boston to skate. From what I was told, DD9 and her cousin were skating side by side while DD12 and younger cousin were nearby. Some guy comes up from behind and between DD9 and her cousin and started to pick DD up. DD12 and younger cousin yelled out her name and the guy put her down and skated away. SIL did not see it happen. DD12 tells me that a similar incident happened to her friend at the same place a few weeks ago so we are working with Boston police on it.

 

[tinkntraining]

I wasn't there...SIL took my kids and her kids to the frog pond in Boston to skate. From what I was told, DD9 and her cousin were skating side by side while DD12 and younger cousin were nearby. Some guy comes up from behind and between DD9 and her cousin and started to pick DD up. DD12 and younger cousin yelled out her name and the guy put her down and skated away. SIL did not see it happen. DD12 tells me that a similar incident happened to her friend at the same place a few weeks ago so we are working with Boston police on it.

Thank God she was okay.

 

[dislaney]

While I wouldn't have let my six year old go to the restroom -in a crowded restaurant- by herself, I wouldn't have said anything to you about you letting your child go alone. Different parenting styles.

 

[cepmom]

Thank God she was okay.

no kidding! When I got home from work and heard the story I just about died. The things that go through your head

After hearing about DD's friend's incident, which is very similar,
I have to wonder, if it's someone that's mentally disabled and just doesn't know that it's not okay to do that, versus someone with evil intentions. Either way, it should be stopped

 

[ccgirl]

No, I have never done the mommy drive by. Oh wait a minute..I did once (sort of). We were at a mall and I had my DS next to me. I peered down for a moment to see the price tag. My DS walked off. Some mom brought him back to me and began to lecture me about how you should never take your eyes of a child....well....she apparently took her eyes off her own child because they walked off as she was lecturing me. I kept my eye on her DD to make sure she was safe. When she was done, I calmly said "people that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones; do you know where your daughter is?" If you could have seen her face. I then told her what store her DD was in.

In a bathroom, I would not let my DD7 go in alone. I always go in there to see who else is in there. You never know what kind of weirdo is in there waiting for a little child alone. I know we teach our children to scream and not to talk to strangers but when they have a knife or gun held to them they might behave differently. I have escorted her in the bathroom and left if nobody else was in there and then just watched very carefully. The minute anyone else walked in there I did too.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

While I wouldn't have let my six year old go to the restroom -in a crowded restaurant- by herself, I wouldn't have said anything to you about you letting your child go alone. Different parenting styles.

I agree with this totally. People parent differently.

For me, I wouldnt allow either of my DD's 10 or 8 go in by themselves. They are perfectly capable of handing their own matters. What would worry me is who is doing what already in the bathroom and who else is going in. These days, you never know. I worry when my ex-Dh takes my girls. If he can find a family bathroom, both girls go in together and he waits outside. If that isn't possible, he makes sure that both of them go in together, they come back out to tell him that thinsg look ok and he stands outside and waits. These are my kids and I am not willing to take anychances that could be prevented.

 

[Metsfan520]

While I wouldn't have let my six year old go to the restroom -in a crowded restaurant- by herself, I wouldn't have said anything to you about you letting your child go alone. Different parenting styles.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[ginna74]

there was a little girl that was taken when she was 5 some years ago and that is the same age that my son was. I really got over protective of my kids as we lived sooo close to that and it was a small town. I mean I don't regret it persay cause they are alive and well, but I was super protective. At that age there was always supervision but I would not talk to a stranger and chew her out for not doing as I would do persy. My kids joke around about how protective I was but at that time (I think my illness didn't help me much either) I was so scared and thought if it could happen to small town america then it could happen to us as well. My youngest is 12 and I give him some space but I still have that mom eye on him and I guess I always will. I hope I made some sense.

 

[MidgeD79]

So how old do your kids have to be before they go into a bathroom alone?

 

[npmommie]

Do you help your kids go to the potty at home at 6? what about at school

of course i help them if they need help, why in the world wouldn't I help them. no they don't always need help , hardly at all, but sometimes there is a "situation" that needs some help
they don't go to school
and what I meant about the tiny butt,is some of those public toilets are way big, and I could envision a tiny bottom slipping in potentially

no kidding! When I got home from work and heard the story I just about died. The things that go through your head

After hearing about DD's friend's incident, which is very similar,
I have to wonder, if it's someone that's mentally disabled and just doesn't know that it's not okay to do that, versus someone with evil intentions. Either way, it should be stopped

I agree it should be stopped! that is scary. and upsetting