When to make unwilling kid ride?

[cakebaker]

In our family, if you are tall enough and a ride doesn't make you sick (of course!) you ride! No one person, big or little, is in control of the agenda and we all do things we don't like for each other.

For us, someone not riding something isn't controlling the agenda. We don't have to have the entire family ride every ride.

We're on vacation and we each want the others to have a great time- so we're flexible. Ride what you want, sit out what you don't want to ride. In my grandson's case, we're lucky now- if he's tall enough he wants to ride it. But when and if he balked at something before, he got to sit out. We took turns with who waited with him and if rider switch was available- yay! bonus rides!



I hate RRC- it doesn't make me sick but I don't like it. I don't like Everest either. My daughters hate the teacups, I don't mind them. My grandson loves them. So we switch in and out and do what we need to do to insure everyone is having a great time without being miserable riding things they don't want to ride. And if the grown ups can skip things they don't like without having to provide what the others think is a valid excuse, I see no reason to hold a child to a higher standard.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

I think there is absolutely a place in life for some fear, especially for teens and twenty-somethings. They tend to think they are invincible. I want them to stop, reflect as they make decisions in all walks of life. Some decisions have permanent serious consequences.

You are getting fear confused with consequences. Fear has no place in the life of anyone. It does not help us make good decisions - it hinders that process.

 

[gwynne]

You are getting fear confused with consequences. Fear has no place in the life of anyone. It does not help us make good decisions - it hinders that process.

Nope. Not in the least confused.

Fear-an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

I still stand by my belief that some fear and understanding of danger is a good thing. Teens and young adults are sometimes very quick to minimize risk in dangerous situations.

Of course, YMMV. One can parse words as they choose. And, I suppose, one can teach the meaning of those words as one chooses.

 

[walker0829]

I would show her a u tube video for the ride. This way you are taking away the unknown factor about the ride. Getting the free DVD Disney video might be good to watch, too.

We did this with our DS3 who was 2 at the time. Must have watched Disney Sing Along Songs about 100x leading up to our trip. The entrance to HM had him a little scared but with a little coaxing he was fine. Just had to remind him about the show. He loved POC as well.

By the time we got to Universal he was riding the kids roller coaster's with a big smile on his face. Luckily he has my sense of adventure.

 

[MischaOz]

Well, this is getting pretty far off topic, but how can you say fear has no place in anyone's life? It is a natural response to perceived OR REAL threat or danger. If my daughter is afraid when she sees a creepy person lurking in a dark alley, I absolutely want her to trust her instincts to walk away. When she feels afraid because she's standing too close to the edge of a cliff, heck yeah I want her to take a step back.

Obviously, there is a balance, and as parents we don't want our children to have excessive or irrational fears. But to teach a child that his or her fear is invalid and that it is something to be suppressed or ignored is a dangerous and slippery slope.

 

[Jennasis]

While I'm sure nobody HERE has ever been that parent, it's the ones telling bald face lies to sobbing children in line (it's not fast/scary/it's just like Pirates etc) or worse, yelling at them to shut up/quit being a baby/you're ruining the trip etc that I have a problem with. The rest of the world shouldn't be subjected to your traumatized crying, begging child shrieking through the stretching room, or the library or in the TT car etc.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

Nope. Not in the least confused.

Fear-an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

I still stand by my belief that some fear and understanding of danger is a good thing. Teens and young adults are sometimes very quick to minimize risk in dangerous situations.

Of course, YMMV. One can parse words as they choose. And, I suppose, one can teach the meaning of those words as one chooses.

 

[kamik86]

Honestly it depends on how scared they are. I remember being a "chaperone" (I was still in high school and the kids were around 5th or 6th grade... there were real adults in the park but most groups just had high schoolers directly with them unless we had an issue) and I did prod the kids a bit to all go on a log ride... (Note we somewhat picked our groups and I specifically told the kids my group was for those that didn't want to do coasters and wanted to spend most of the time on all the water rides - even the bigger slides)

This is how it happened...
Some kids: I want to do that ride
Me: Yeah that ride is awesome lets go
Other kids: Oh but look how high it is
Me: Yeah but its ok its just like a water slide your just in a boat instead of a tube.
Kids: Ok

3/4 of the way up the ramp they slowly pull you up
Kids: OMG this is so high... if we don't die I'm never trusting you again!!!

At the bottom after the splash:
Kids: OMG that was so cool lets go again

there was no line and we literally stayed on for another loop

Since I knew all the kids loved water slides and the only reason they thought this was scary was that it slowly pulls you up and gave you more time to see how high you were (they walked quickly up the stairs at the slides and didn't look around much, compound that with being shorter with the rails and I think it just never clicked) I knew they would be fine and no one was REALLY bad besides on the ride itself.

However a kid that was really scared I could understand

 

[PrncessA]

My son does not like things that he has never experienced before, so we often push the issue with rides and have never regretted it. He didn't care for Tower of Terror (although that one we did not push him on, he wanted to ride it after seeing the YouTube video many times), so he won't ride it again. He is TERRIFIED of roller coasters until he rides them and then they become his favorite ride. On our trip last week to Disneyland he did not want to ride California Screaming, but it was his favorite part of the entire trip.

One of our funniest experiences was at Winterfest at Navy Pier in Chicago. DS refused to ride the Himalaya, although we made it to the front of the line 3 times, because he said he wanted to ride. Finally we forced him on the ride. I felt like the worst parent in the world. The photos leading up the ride were him freaking out in the seat next to me, bawling. The ride started and his behavior changed instantaneously, he LOVED it. He rode it 4 more times after that and it is still one of his favorite rides. If I hadn't pushed him he would still be afraid.

Only you know your child.

 

[kamik86]

Our rule is that each trip, we all try each ride once. We started this when the girls were 6 & 8. The older daughter "claimed" to hate roller coasters. Yes, we made her go on them. Now she is almost 12 and she loves roller coasters. If we hadn't forced her to go, she never would have given them a chance.

I'm guessing you never had someone ride a ride and absolutely HATE it and never want to go back? Last trip to disneyland I was working on getting over a fear of heights. DH wanted to do the ferris wheel. Did the none swinging cars and I was fine (I'm not really scared of heights... I"m scared of failing those feel secure I was all set) then he wanted to try the swinging ones.

I cried. I hated it.. I was freaking out... and that is all before the ride broke didn't let us off when it should have and we watched them clear out the line as it moved even more erratically around a third time with us (and sometimes when backwards for a bit etc).

Honestly if you told me the choice was that I had to ride this or I could never go into a disney park again I would never go back to disney.

 

[thr33boys]

The other thing I don't understand is trying to get them to ride rides that they REALLY don't want to ride because it's something YOU want to do.

That's not always the case. Truth be told, I wouldn't be vacationing at Disney if it weren't for my kids. I would be quite content to never go on another ride. It was great when I was younger, but I'm not into it anymore. However, we go because all of our kids are into theme parks and rides. We are doing it for our kids. If we were doing something I wanted to do for vacation, my kids would be bored.

They do not have to go on every single ride and if they choose to not want to ride something that's fine but we strongly encourage them trying it first. I know from past experience my kids enjoy thrill rides. I want them to keep an open mind and trust my judgement if they're unsure of something.

If we didn't push our kids somewhat to get over their fears, I know my boys probably wouldn't know how to ride a bike. That scared them more than anything but we told them to trust us and when they finally got it -- they couldn't have been prouder or happier.

I understand it won't work for every child but parents have a pretty good idea of what their kids can handle. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't but it's definitely not because it's what I want to do.

 

[MickeyWaffles]

Never. It could ruin them for life. I dragged my unwilling sister on Splash Mountain at 5yo and she was ruined. 19 years later, she still won't ride it.

 

[jtowntoflorida]

My son does not like things that he has never experienced before, so we often push the issue with rides and have never regretted it. He didn't care for Tower of Terror (although that one we did not push him on, he wanted to ride it after seeing the YouTube video many times), so he won't ride it again. He is TERRIFIED of roller coasters until he rides them and then they become his favorite ride. On our trip last week to Disneyland he did not want to ride California Screaming, but it was his favorite part of the entire trip.

One of our funniest experiences was at Winterfest at Navy Pier in Chicago. DS refused to ride the Himalaya, although we made it to the front of the line 3 times, because he said he wanted to ride. Finally we forced him on the ride. I felt like the worst parent in the world. The photos leading up the ride were him freaking out in the seat next to me, bawling. The ride started and his behavior changed instantaneously, he LOVED it. He rode it 4 more times after that and it is still one of his favorite rides. If I hadn't pushed him he would still be afraid.

Only you know your child.

ITA with this.

I was never particularly reckless as a child myself, but now being a parent of not one but TWO kids who will automatically say no to any new experience (my 5 year old initially refuses to even try SWEETS he's never had before!), I know that we would literally have never set food on any ride at Disney had we not "made" them ride at least once. Because they just don't like to try new things, but for very different reasons, neither of which really involves true fear. My oldest has a lot of discomfort with the unknown and likes to analyze any new experience to death first (she is one where the ride videos are a benefit), talking it through and planning out in her head how things are going to go. My youngest is just super stubborn and likes to be in control of all things at all times. So yeah, he got "forced" a lot, because a lot of times he's just (1) testing boundaries; and (2) absolutely says no to everything single new experience in life, no is his default position and he's so stubborn that without pushing, he'd never give any other answer.

Now, we're lucky that we've been to Disney so much in the last 4 years, and we know our kids. So we know what real fear in them looks like vs. their personality quirks. The rides they're truly scared of (HM for our son, Space and EE for our daughter) and they aren't forced on them, ever. But if our son balks at Peter Pan or Pooh...yeah, I'm rolling my eyes and telling him to suck it up because I know he's just being a pill whose testing limits and isn't really scared. And that's the difference, but to an outsider, I probably look like a mean mom forcing my kid to ride something they don't want to ride.

 

[AlixaLock]

And if the grown ups can skip things they don't like without having to provide what the others think is a valid excuse, I see no reason to hold a child to a higher standard.

Awesome! All that matters is that we all find what works for our families and it sounds like you have a great rhythm! I just wanted to add that I totally agree with the above! We absolutely believe that the adults are held to the same standard as the kiddo. I have a burning dislike of Winnie the Pooh and the Jungle Cruise but I ride every time because my daughter and husband love it!

 

[juliekzp]

Could it be that your DD has been permanently traumatized. It's not okay to force a child that's not willing to ride. A child will get there eventually, but doesn't need a kick in the A** to get there

Uh, no, she has not been permanently traumatized.

 

[Grmnshplvr]

For me, I feel like forcing a very scared child on a ride is down right dangerous. You don't know what they'll do in a panic, stand up on the ride? try to get off? You never know. I make my kids go to the dentist, sleep in their own beds etc. but a ride? No

 

[juliekzp]

I feel like I've seen reports on here of CMs stepping in when parents were trying to force their kids on things. Just FYI.

I'm not talking about physically shoving a crying child into a ride car, so I can't see this being an issue.

 

[deidre74]

Never. The rule in our family is if you are tall enough and can find someone in the group to go with you (this is if its your first time going as a child) then by all means you can go on the ride. If you don't want to ride then you better not complain about how long its taking while waiting for the other people who wanted to ride to get off. I have actually tried to talk my niece out of a ride. She was around 5 and it was her first time in Disney World and she is a daredevil when it comes to rides....she wanted to do Stitch...I tried everything to keep her out of that as i knew it was not something she would like at all...heck I tried to keep everyone in my group out of that but she wanted to....lo and behold we exit the "ride" and the poor kid is shaking from fear...my mother goes to the nearest CM and explains the situation and asks the CM what is the calmest thing for us to take her on to let her calm herself from her fear....CM says Monsters Inc (none of us had done this and didn't know what it was)...CM explained and after 5 mins of explaining to my niece she finally agreed to go in. To this day (she is now 13) when we are in WDW she will start out the first MK day asking if we can not go on Stitch at all while we are there.

 

[juliekzp]

If I never told my daughter she had to do something she was scared to do and didn't want to try, she would be missing out on so much that she now loves -- dancing on stage, eating cotton candy, playing soccer, riding on POC and Star Tours, going to a friend's house by herself, riding a two-wheeler, water skiing, meeting Mickey Mouse. Some kids need a nudge. And no I'm not going to ruin my vacation or hers by forcing her sobbing body into a roller coaster, and I'm not making her do anything that I know she would find truly terrifying (e.g., SP, RnR, TOT, EE, HM, to name a few). We split up a ton on our trips, because my son loves all those, and I get to ride on them plenty, so this is not about whether I get to ride. Rather, it's about what's good for her, and trying new things is good for her, even if she's a little scared. And if she still hates it after one try, then she doesn't have to do it again (well, maybe not until the next trip, when she's a little older and braver....)

 

[Eandbmom]

My DD was scared to try Soarin (she HATES heights) so we told her to try it and she could hold my hand, she started with her eyes closed, I did convince her to open them and she loved it! It is on her list for next year