When to make unwilling kid ride?

[gwynne]

I was forced on rides as a child. I did what was expected, faked a smile. It wasn't a fun experience in any way.
When I became a parent, I chose a different path with my kids. I was always positive, but no pressure. None. They rode what they wanted.

 

[AlixaLock]

In our family, if you are tall enough and a ride doesn't make you sick (of course!) you ride! No one person, big or little, is in control of the agenda and we all do things we don't like for each other.

That said, I would never drag a screaming child on any ride. That's just not fair to anyone. This works for us, but it might not work for everyone. We all find our own way!

 

[ravenclawtrekkie]

My parents' rule when I was a kid was that I had to ride everything I was tall enough for at least once.

 

[BigMommaMouse]

Op- We never thought about asking our children. As soon as they were tall enough to ride we went on. I assumed they would like all the rides. The only one I never took DS on is TOT, because of the ambience. This trip coming (DS14) I said shall I FP+ this year, he said no.
At a water park again we assumed DD would want/like all the water slides. She went with DH on that really tall on. Came off saying never again, it hurt and she thought she was going to fall off.

 

[itchin2go]

I think the title of the thread is problematic: when to MAKE an unwilling kid ride. And I think that's why you've gotten a lot of "never" answers. I think PPs have offered ways of CONVINCING or PERSUADING kids to ride, but just forcing them to do something they don't want to do - something that's unnecessary and supposed to be fun - is what's rubbing people the wrong way.

My daughter is on the bubble about Everest on our next trip. I've shown her youtube videos and let her read what others have said about the ride, but the decision is ultimately up to her. I don't want her to miss out on something she might like, but the truth is - it's no big deal if she wants to skip it.

Interesting PP about escalators and elevators. My daughter hates escalators. She and my husband went on a trip to Peru. She was 11 then, I think. I knew she'd encounter escalators in the airports and it was a tour group, so freaking out and finding another way might not be feasible or comfortable. So in the days leading up to the trip, I took her to the mall and we rode escalators. I promised her a Starbucks drink after each "session". She still dislikes escalators, but she wanted to practice each day because of the Starbucks drink. Long story short, she got over her fear enough to make the trip go smoothly, though she still marveled at the other kids on the tour who would ride up and down the escalators for fun. LOL. Just not her thing.

Anyway, I think that's different. I do think conquering fears is important, but riding a roller coaster is just not a necessary part of life.

 

[Fiddysmum]

We struggled with what to do because we don't want to split up and we have one kid who likes roller coasters and one who doesn't (ages 10 and 8). We are surprising the kids with the trip, so I couldn't show her you tube videos.

Ultimately, we believe that there are enough fun rides that won't spook our less adventurous child that we can all enjoy!

 

[Jennasis]

WDW is supposed to be vacation...fun time. Save MAKING your kids do things they don't like for home.

 

[ArwenMarie]

I think the title of the thread is problematic: when to MAKE an unwilling kid ride. And I think that's why you've gotten a lot of "never" answers. I think PPs have offered ways of CONVINCING or PERSUADING kids to ride, but just forcing them to do something they don't want to do - something that's unnecessary and supposed to be fun - is what's rubbing people the wrong way.

My daughter is on the bubble about Everest on our next trip. I've shown her youtube videos and let her read what others have said about the ride, but the decision is ultimately up to her. I don't want her to miss out on something she might like, but the truth is - it's no big deal if she wants to skip it.

Interesting PP about escalators and elevators. My daughter hates escalators. She and my husband went on a trip to Peru. She was 11 then, I think. I knew she'd encounter escalators in the airports and it was a tour group, so freaking out and finding another way might not be feasible or comfortable. So in the days leading up to the trip, I took her to the mall and we rode escalators. I promised her a Starbucks drink after each "session". She still dislikes escalators, but she wanted to practice each day because of the Starbucks drink. Long story short, she got over her fear enough to make the trip go smoothly, though she still marveled at the other kids on the tour who would ride up and down the escalators for fun. LOL. Just not her thing.

Anyway, I think that's different. I do think conquering fears is important, but riding a roller coaster is just not a necessary part of life.

I think this is the key. Rides are optional in life. You never have to ride rides in your entire life and could live a perfectly full life. Other fears about things that aren't optional need to be worked on gently like you did with the escalators.

 

[luvsJack]

I don't like thrill rides myself. I know that they are safe enough. I know I am not going to fall out or whatever. But its still a very real fear. Dh doesn't understand that and tries to convince me. I hate that. I have ridden RnRC and Thunder. Didn't change a thing.

For that reason, I wouldn't try to convince anyone to do anything as far as rides if I knew they have a real fear.

With that said, my oldest always liked to see what he was riding before he rode it. Not easy at wdw all those years ago. So while he wasn't convinced or made, it helped to describe the ride to him.

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

Part of being a parent is helping a child overcome fears. Would we say 'never' if the question was about helping a young child overcome the fear of sleeping by themselves in their own bed? What if a child is scared of escalaters? Do we always go out of our way to find an elevator? What if elevators scare them too? Do we keep them on the first floor of a building at all times?

There is a fine line here. Children should not be forced to go on a ride, but backing down the first time they show a little uncertainty is not the right approach either.

I think having them watch the exit and observe other children their age getting off the ride smiling, laughing, and being excited works very well. Let them know it's just not adults that can enjoy the ride. If that doesn't work, then offering encouragement, support, and maybe even a little reward are perfectly acceptable.

Bottom line is that dragging them on kicking an screaming is not the answer, but 'never' is not the best approach either.

Excellent post. In my case my daughter had already ridden some of these rides and just couldn't remember. Imagine if I had backed off the pool slide. I'm not even kidding when I say it was like she was on a track going again and again after I got her on it. Her confidence was palpable. I also knew she had been practicing the seven dwarves coaster, watching videos, pretending her scooter was a roller coaster, etc. I know she was working through her fears and I want to help her do that not let them get the best of her. She also asked to sleep with us instead of with her brother in the pullout at the GF villas because she didn't like the smoke detector light because it blinked red. we said no way and we helped her find a way to make the pullout acceptable by switching sides with her brother.

There are rides I KNOW she would hate so we don't push it at all. ToT, BTMRR, EE, I don't even try. I tell her what's in them and when she says no it's fine. But I know the ones she can do. I talked her through splash mountain, she tried it and didn't like it and we told her that was fine. She was very good on the ride because she knew what to expect. I would never lie about what the ride was actually like just to get her on. That would destroy her trust in my opinion on anything.

 

[LivingforDisney]

As long as you don't do what some parents did when we rode TOT, a little boy around 7 was crying and saying he didn't want to ride the whole time they were in front of us in line, which was about 30 minutes.
Was doing my head in really, just take the poor kid and leave the line, but no
Right near to when you on the ride, he got quite hysterical and the mother turned around and said to him. If you do not go on the ride, we are leaving the park and you will not ride anything else! And with that they all went on.
I was flabbergasted, that a parent would do that, heck my 14 year was outside holding our bags, cause he didn't want to ride it.
I thought about that little guy all day, cause they were in the car before us, I don't know if he liked it or is maybe scared for life!
But each to their own I guess. Your kids do as you please.

 

[phillymummer]

I know my daughter well and if I know she will love the ride, but is just fearful of the unknown, I will make her ride. I made her do the Sooper Dooper Looper at Hershey Park (PA) because it is a great introduction to a loop (there is only one!). She loves coasters, but was just scared of going upside-down. She whimpered and whined the whole time in line. I had to nudge her forward a few times. I got the "stares" but I didn't care. She LOVED it afterwards. She told me she felt silly for being so scared. Next, I made her ride in the front seat. Again she was scared and whimpering, but now she loves the front seat. Now, she is more confident with new rides (maybe a little too confident!) and now i don't have to "make" her do anything. She loves coasters and all thrill rides.

My daughter's best friend is another story. She gets so freaked out and upset by just looking at the drops on a coaster. Even though she liked the rides we did make her go on, she still couldn't get over her fear of different coasters. In her case,she just doesn't like coasters and it is not beneficial to make her ride.

You know your daughter. Use your judgement. Does she like coasters in general? Does she ride them at home? If not, then maybe coasters just aren't her thing and you shouldn't make her ride.

I think showing her the YouTube video is a great idea. Good luck!

 

[oceanmarina]

I have NEVER made my kids ride a ride.....I have willingly left a line near the very front of Space Mountain when my son panicked because I wanted him to know that he always had the choice not to go, and if the others came back saying how great it was and he wished he had gone, he would have learned the lesson that perhaps he should have tried it. But that's because I know my kids. If I push, they'll dig in their heels. When they're ready to do something, they will.

I would strongly agree with nduckles above.

 

[Aliceacc]

There are some scary things I have to force my kids to do for their own good. Vaccinations? Sorry, I'm not giving you a choice. The dentist? Ditto.

But a ride at WDW?? Absolutely different.

If they live their entire lives and never try Space Mountain, it will be fine.

This is THEIR vacation too. The point is to have a wonderful time together as a family, not to force them to do something that terrifies them.

 

[Eastern]

I would never force anyone. Going on something once does not guarantee everyone liking it.

I've gone on Space Mountain 2x, Everest once, a loop de loop rollercoaster at SixFlags once: hated them all. Never want to go on any of them again. I went on SM the second time because I wasn't sure if I was remembering it correctly. I was.

 

[oylerfam1]

Never! Tried it once at another park near home. I knew and still do if my DS tries it he will like it. But, It ended up being a miserable day for all of us. I vowed when we went back to Disney I would not do it. As long as the kids have a smile on their face I'm happy. I know my DD would LOVE Splash. But I will not force her to ride it. IMHO it is just cruel.

 

[loves to dive]

Part of being a parent is helping a child overcome fears. Would we say 'never' if the question was about helping a young child overcome the fear of sleeping by themselves in their own bed? What if a child is scared of escalaters? Do we always go out of our way to find an elevator? What if elevators scare them too? Do we keep them on the first floor of a building at all times?

There is a fine line here. Children should not be forced to go on a ride, but backing down the first time they show a little uncertainty is not the right approach either.

I think having them watch the exit and observe other children their age getting off the ride smiling, laughing, and being excited works very well. Let them know it's just not adults that can enjoy the ride. If that doesn't work, then offering encouragement, support, and maybe even a little reward are perfectly acceptable.

Bottom line is that dragging them on kicking an screaming is not the answer, but 'never' is not the best approach either.

I agree with your first paragraph, there are times in life when one must conquer their fears but when it comes to entertainment I don't think that is one of those times. As you can tell by my screen name, I'm a scuba diver, so is my DS and my DH. The first time we were going to do a wreck I took one look inside, it was dark and there were jagged edges and I just didn't feel confident. I shook my head at DH and he signaled fine and we swam over the wreck. Now this was an easy wreck, wide open really but I'm afraid of the dark since I'm totally night blind, I'm talking walking into trees outside night blind. After the dive DH asked me why I didn't want to go in, I explained it just wasn't comfortable, he was o.k. with that. Next dive, same wreck our instructor was right there, held my hand and when we got to the opening of the wreck asked if I would go in with him. I was still uncomfortable but knew if I had any problems he would back me out and so I did it. I'm a master diver, certified stress and rescue, certified cavern and wreck diver now but would not be any of those things had DH not backed out without question that first wreck dive. The rule in diving is you never do anything that you are uncomfortable with, its dangerous. DS is not good with enclosed spaces so caves and wrecks aren't his cup of tea, he'll do caverns as long as he can see light and doesn't have to squeeze himself into any tight spaces (grown up adult, ex Navy). We don't force it, he stays behind in the safe areas and explores if we do anything he doesn't like, I feel the same about anything recreational. It's not worth anyone getting worked up about if it's supposed to be fun.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

A key concept that I have taught my children is that fear is not real and should never be allowed to control your decision making. It is harder to teach this concept to young children, but as they get older it becomes easier - especially if the mantra is not new to them. This extends to every aspect of their lives, including rides.

I have also "forced" my boys to ride a few rides, and while it always ended well it was generally not worth the drama. I would probably choose differently now, but forcing my boys to do some of these things in their lives has produced teens who are relatively fearless compared with many of their peers.

 

[texasroni75]

Be patient. I refused to go on most coasters and "scary" rides until I was 32!! Once I decided to try them (my oldest daughter convinced me to go with her), I discovered I LOVE them.

For my own kids, if they are tall enough for the ride, I try to convince them to ride it "once" and if they don't like it they don't have to go again. DS(11) only cried on one coaster when he was 8 - but it was already in motion when the crying started. If he cried in line I wouldn't have made him go. Like others mentioned, show videos of the rides and let them make the decision for themselves.

 

[PoohsFan1]

For my kids (mainly my youngest because my oldest will try anything and everything), I never made her go on a ride, but rather coaxed her a little. I would do this by explaining the ride to her and show her videos on Youtube. If she still showed anxiety over it, we made plans to do something while DH and our oldest went off and did the ride. Now when she got a bit older and I knew that she would love a ride (especially RnRC), I told her it was like any other roller coaster that she had gone on, except that we would go upside down. She was a little hesitant, but she did end up wanting to try it out since her sister always talked about how fun it was. The only thing that she didn't like seeing, as we were in line, was watching the cars zoom off, instead I would direct her attention to all of the details that were in line. After her first ride, she loved it and couldn't wait to go on it again. And as for ToT (something I would never make anyone try since I don't even ride it myself), however, the summer before she tried ToT for the first time, she was at a Six Flags and went on one of those drop towers and was fine. I simply explained that if she could do one of those, then she definitely could do ToT....let me just say that she has loved ToT since then.