When To Have A Second (Or Third, Fourth, etc) Baby?

[Rock'n Robin]

I am 4 years younger than my sister and we fought a LOT. We have more in common than we would admit--the same evil look (according to DH) and we are both loud altos. However she is athletic and I am NOT.
My kids are 3 years apart--born in 3/92, 4/95, and 6/98. We are pretty darn fertile and thank God we became pregnant the first month trying each time. I also timed them to make the most of my summer vacation as a teacher with the maternity leave. I also only wanted one in diapers at a time.
As for the decision about #3, only you can make that one. My older two are girls and my youngest is a boy, my little sweetheart that just turned 5. My BIL and his wife have 3 girls and they stopped there. But I have a friend who was trying for a third child and ended up with 4--"baby #3" was twins!
Robin M.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

My Sister and I are 2 years 2 months apart and we fought like crazy! Only since having our own children have we become really close. Something to bond over I guess. My Brother is 4 years younger than me and sometimes I feel like I don't know him that well. We were just at completely different stages growing up. Plus he is so laid back and my sister and I are, well, not! LOL!

DH and I are trying for #2. I always wanted about a 2 1/2-3 year age difference.

Has anyone ever read the book about Birth Order by Kevin Lehman? It was SO fascinating to me. It described myself and my siblings to a tee! It explains how our Birth Order shapes us as human beings. A really great read! Helps to explain your kids a lot also.

 

[poohandwendy]

Has anyone ever read the book about Birth Order by Kevin Lehman? It was SO fascinating to me. It described myself and my siblings to a tee! It explains how our Birth Order shapes us as human beings. A really great read! Helps to explain your kids a lot also.

YES, I loved that book! It also nailed my 4 siblings and I perfectly. And also my children. It also talks about who should marry and how to deal with your own children...

highly recommend this book, totally fascinating

 

[wdwnutze]

My DS is 19, my DD is 10 and my other DD is 4(yes, one father). They are too spread out and they fight like crazy. The oldest fights with both girls. The girls are usually pretty good together. It's just the way things worked out for us. I would have them closer if I could do it over again. I'm dealing with my son in college and my youngest in preschool. I wouldn't trade any of them though!

 

[Jenzebelle]

There is 4yrs 10mos between myself and my brother, and then my brother and my sister.

My parents didn't plan it that way - it just happened. We're not close at all. Partially because we're different people and don't have much in common, but I think the age gap plays a big part in it. My little sister is 18 and she grew up in an entirely different family than I did. And the fact I left home when she was 12 also makes a difference.

I wish I were closer to my siblings, but at this point we just don't have much at all in common. Hopefully that will change.

 

[binny]

well Cam was 3 1/2 when Kate was born and I loved that spread! He was big enough to help out ( get diapers, wipes etc) yet small enough to not be bratty lol. He still WANTED to help


On the other hand Kate was 11 months when Karissa was born DONT do that!!! that was brutal! ( She was surprise )


My oldest brother is 11 years older than I am and I have very few memories of him from childhood he was always working etc. then gone to college.

So I guess you have to find a happy medium for yourselves lol.

 

[zurgswife]

My kids are 17month, between DD and DS, then 13 months between DS and DS and then 36 months between DS and DD...Total 4 kids in 6 years....It was hectic but I'm glad I had them close together....wished number 4 had been a little bit closer in ageto the older 3 but alas I didn't have control over that....

 

[mrsmom]

My kids are 5 ,9 11 tomorrow, and almost 17 , i think if i waited to have kids when the time was right, i wouldn't have had kids, because something always comes up to change your mind.
Kim

 

[palmtreegirl]

Our kids are 4 years apart and I LOVE it! everybody told us..4 years is too far apart, 2 years is the best...blah, blah, blah. lol.

I just didn't feel ready to have another till DD was older. Our kids are 4 years and 1 month apart and I wouldn't change a thing. They're really close and will play all day together. For some reason people always seem shocked by how well they get along, I don't know why.

I guess my point is people will tell you all kinds of stories but when it comes down to it just do what feels right and take opinions with a grain of salt.

 

[MerryPoppins]

My son is 3 years, 10 months older than his sister. They don't always have a lot in common and they fight like cats and dogs. Still they love each other a lot. He is protective of her and she looks up to him. I asked them for their thoughts and this is what they told me.

DD says she likes that her brother is generous, kind and helpful. She doesn't like the fact that he sometimes talks like he is her parent or when he invades her privacy. He tends to barge into her room when she has the door shut!

DS says he likes that his sister looks up to him. That makes him feel good. He also likes that she likes to impress him. She is usually a good listener. He doesn't like the fact that she is bossy and likes to have her own way. He also thinks she is lazy and doesn't like to do her share of the work. She also likes to follow him around and can be annoying. She doesn't like to listen to him when she knows he is right.

I think that there is no right age difference between siblings. The differences between my children would be there if they were 2 years apart or 6 years. Too far apart and they have less in common, but too close together and they don't have as long to be a baby/toddler. It's all a trade-off. The four year span worked for us. Some siblings are comptetive. Mine aren't so much. I think they will be close as adults.

By the way, my brother and I are 4 years apart. We didn't have a lot in common as kids and I thought he was mean. He thought I was a pain, spoiled and had to always have my way. We are close now. I mean, we don't talk every day but we have a lot in common. If you lay down a firm love foundation, I think it all works out in the end.

 

[Spinning]

My kids are 26 months apart and I love it! They play great together. It wasn't hard when they were babies. My dream was to have 4 kids, 2 close together and then take 3 years off and then have 2 more right away. Unfortnately it didn't work that way but I love the kids being close in age