when the invitation says NO GIFTS, do you take one anyway?

[Grumpy's Gal]

Invitation to an anniversary party -- says the couple request no gifts-- do you take one anyway? something small?

 

[marybet]

I wouldn't. It said no, not small. If you need to take something than buy a card.

 

[Michie]

NO. and I think it is rude to do so.

 

[Princess Mindy]

I'd probably take no gift either. A card would be appropriate though, I agree

 

[Stacerita]

Nope. They said no gift and I'm going to do as they requested. Plus, its one less thing to do on my "to do" list.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

No means no.

 

[lulugirl]

NO. and I think it is rude to do so.

I agree.

 

[Becky2005]

If it says no gifts, they mean no gifts. We did that for my parents 60th combined birthday party and some people still brought gifts. It did make it kind of akward as we weren't planning on any gifts, since we had said no gifts. My parents have no room in there house for anything else & don't want anything. They are to the point of if they really want something, they will go out and buy it themselves.

Now I suppose if you feel you *have* to bring something -- a card is fine or I do know one person brought a small vase of flowers. I wouldn't feel obligated to though as weird as it may feel to show up empty handed, they are considering your attendance the gift.

 

[scrump]

No, I wouldn't bring a gift.

 

[momrek06]

NOPE..."please no gifts...your presence is our gift"...as one invite I received recently!!

 

[DebbieTN]

I would think that just a card would be fine. If you really thought that people might bring gifts, you could always get a gift card from some place that you like to shop. Take it with you but don't put it in the unsealed card. Then if other people bring gifts, you could put it in the card and seal it up. If not, then you could go and spend the gift card on yourself.

 

[Beth76]

Ugh, the last time we were invited to one of these, we didn't bring a gift and guess what? Several people brought gifts. We felt like such cads.

 

[Becky2005]

Ugh, the last time we were invited to one of these, we didn't bring a gift and guess what? Several people brought gifts. We felt like such cads.

That's why I agree with the others that think it's RUDE to bring a gift when it says NO GIFTS!

I felt really bad for the other people who actually did like we asked when we said no gifts. I knew they were not feeling too good arriving empty handed after some showed up with gifts but that is exactly what we wanted them to do, WE didn't think of them badly. We appreciated the fact that they believed us when we said no gifts. It's almost like those that brought gifts thought we were lying on the invitation that we really didn't mean that we wanted no gifts (umm...yes we did!).

I'm sorry it happened to you, but you were in the right by honoring the invitation (even if it didn't feel very good at the time).

 

[jenr812]

I agree.

Totally OT but OMGosh your siggie pic is freaking pee my pants hilarious!!!!!!!!! Is that your cat?

 

[disykat]

This thread is going very differently than it would have here a year or so ago. Does anyone else remember when there used to similar threads and everyone said take gifts anyway?

I think the DIS does change minds! I agree with the consensus - no gifts is what they desire and you should honor that. If someone really wants to give a gift (like if they made something for them), then they should do it discretely at a different time.

 

[mimif1]

If the invitation says No Gifts, then that's what I bring! On the other hand, I have given a card with a letter letting the other person know what they mean to me and what joy they have brought into my life. I loved the anniversary party that said No Gifts but requested letters to give to the couple. They made a great scrapbook including all the letters from the friends and family. It was great!

 

[LBelle]

We will honor the request of 'no gifts', though I must admit that bringing nothing DOES make me feel very weird!!!

 

[NMAmy]

This thread is going very differently than it would have here a year or so ago. Does anyone else remember when there used to similar threads and everyone said take gifts anyway?

I think the DIS does change minds! I agree with the consensus - no gifts is what they desire and you should honor that. If someone really wants to give a gift (like if they made something for them), then they should do it discretely at a different time.

I started a thread about this last year! I was incredibly annoyed because DH and I had a vow renewal party at our home and specifically wrote "Please, no gifts" on the card. So many people brought gifts anyway. We needed nothing and then I had to write thank you cards and people that didn't bring something felt bad. Please, just honor the invitation and don't bring anything. Cards are great but no gifts.

And, you're right, disykat, most everyone on my thread said they'd bring a gift anyway.

 

[jel0511]

If you REALLY feel that you need to get something, since they said "No gifts", I'd make a donation in their name to a charity that is near and dear to their heart. Place it in a card and give it to them.

 

[annegal]

If the invitation says No Gifts, then that's what I bring! On the other hand, I have given a card with a letter letting the other person know what they mean to me and what joy they have brought into my life. !

I think this is a great idea!
Also, if the party is for elderly folks, copies of old photos might be a very nice and inexpensive "gift" to slip in the card.