When teens are GF and BF.........

[noseybuddy]

I don't get how the OP could be arguing whether or not it's sexist either. That much is obvious.

She could argue until she's blue in the face (fingers?) that the sexism is justified, but I can't see how you could make a case for it not being sexist in the first place.

Me, thinking a male should pay for a date is not sexist, it is old fashioned, that's how I was brought up and I never paid while on a date, even offered but they never took my money.

 

[noseybuddy]

Actually, it's even worse because she thinks his parents should pay for her daughter, since the boy doesn't have a job. For all she knows, the parents might not want him to work, it might not be an indication that he's lazy.

Never said the parents should pay for my DD. I just thought that maybe he would want to save some of the money once in awhile and treat his girlfried instead of always spending every penny of it on himself.

 

[PlainJane]

I guess I live under a rock, because pretty much every couple I know of the guy pays for the majority of things. Even my guy friends sometimes pay for girls they aren't dating including myself, even though we protest. I will on occassion pay for dinner for my BF, but come up with some form of an excuse so he can't fight me on it. I've never had a guy expect anything in return for his generosity, as some have suggested on this thread.

 

[tedhowe]

Me, thinking a male should pay for a date is not sexist, it is old fashioned, that's how I was brought up and I never paid while on a date, even offered but they never took my money.

I don't think that there's any question it is old fashioned... but it is old fashioned and sexist.

If men and women are equals (and I believe they are) then there's no good reason that he should HAVE to pay.

It's going back 20 years for me now, but I always offered to pay when I was just starting to date someone. When I was dating my steady girlfriend at age 17, she wanted to pay her own way... I agreed.

I think the biggest sexist part I see is that your DD wants to pay for herself and you are against that.

 

[battricia]

I stopped reading this at pg 4 but I just wanted to put this out there:

maybe he's not that into her? maybe she's initiating these 'dates' and he's just going along because they're somthing to do... why would he pay for her then? The not even getting a birthday card thing makes me think she's more into this relationshp than he is, and frankly i'm not that surprised. That's the way most of the 16 yo boys I knew were when it came to having girlfriends.

Also, I agree w/ some posters about the fact that if she is paying for herself she is not going to be as likely to feel like she 'owes' him something, if you get what I mean, and that is something you should be happy about.

tricia.

 

[MadameLeota]

I think it makes sense for teenagers to go dutch most of the time after they become a couple.

My high school boyfriend was a true loser (a very nice boy, but one of the most unmotivated people I've ever met). We dated for 3 1/2 years - he never had a job, never got his driver's license, barely graduated from high school. He ended up joining the Army and dumping me. During that time, I worked 2-3 jobs, paid for EVERYTHING, drove him around everwhere he needed to be, graduated from high school 9th in my class, etc. It was such a nice change when I started dating now DH - he drove and paid the first few dates, then we always took turns depending on who had more money, etc. It worked for us.

your highschool relationship sounds like mine! 3 years off and on....he could never keep a job, almost dropped out of highschool, became an alcoholic and druggie....joined the navy...man arent highschool relationships great!

eh, I think that at first he should pay, just to prove that he wants to be with her...thats what i think...after awhile then they should split costs on some things...now if he sets up the date and then expects her to pay... nope not happenin i think!

 

[rie'smom]

If it's a date,then,IMO,the guy pays. When my DD starts dating,the guy will be expected to pay for the date and NOT expect payback, KWIM. We live in the south and it may be sexist where y'all live but down here it's considered good manners.

 

[tiggersmom2]

If it's a date,then,IMO,the guy pays. When my DD starts dating,the guy will be expected to pay for the date and NOT expect payback, KWIM. We live in the south and it may be sexist where y'all live but down here it's considered good manners.

Yep, I NEVER paid for any of my dates. If a guy asks a girl out....he should pay, imo.

 

[MadameLeota]

Good ol'fashioned Southern gentlemen....that's what everyone needs!