When someone dies your age

[C.Ann]

Because of health issues that have come to light over the course of the past two years or so, yes - I do think about it.. Every day - but not in a negative way.. Until a few months ago it was really dragging me down, but I've learned a lot since then (through CBT) - which thankfully allows me to look at the situation differently now... It's no longer a heavy weight on my shoulders and I can see things in a more positive light.. My affairs are in order - my immediate family knows what I want and don't want - so there's no reason to dwell on "when" it will happen.. It's more important to focus on the "here and now" and surround myself with things that make me happy and people who make me happy - my family and friends.. There are things I want to accomplish while I still can and as long as I have the ability to do that, I'm okay with facing my own mortality..

As the old saying goes, "None of us get out of here alive.."

 

[Aisling]

I never really thought about my mortality before. I think it's because I didn't feel "old". But now that Michael Jackson has did, all of a sudden I realized that he was in my age bracket (I'm 47), and that I'm sort-of old after all! Where the hell did life go? I've realized that I'm now on the down side of the hill.

 

[powellrj]

I told my Dh today I am rethinking this being 50 thing, first Michael Jackson and then Billy Mays and then to make matters worse, my bank teller announced to everyone at the bank that since I was one of their valued senior customers.... Did the whole bank really need to know that??????

 

[DMRick]

Anyone feeling their own mortality?

No, I'm really not. I know where I'm going when I'm gone and that has always made me comfortable.
I just try to enjoy life to the fullest now and so I hope to have no regrets. I've finished my bucket list (or will come December..two more things on it that I'll complete in October and December), and that was always my goal (along with having just enough money to finish out my life). Any time I have left now, it's just gravy.

 

[kellyg403]

I am with everyone else I am increasingly more depressed about my mortality as the years go by. Not that I am afraid to die, but that there are so many things left to do and see and be a part of. Like others my mom was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, and right after her treatments she ended up with kidney failure and on dialysis etc. I thought I had come to terms with the fact we are terminal from the moment of birth...I guess not!

I am a few years younger than Michael Jackson, not much, but yes, it felt like we grew up together. Now he is gone...and actually I never really thought about the fact he would die. He has been around so long and sensationalized so much it just 'felt' like he would be here forever. So, yes this week every little ache/pain and discomfort makes me think twice. I had three people in the last two weeks mention how great I look and how much weight I have lost I immediatly thought 'crap, unexplained weight loss..cancer' enough to run home and hit the scale and find out it must have been my clothes because I weigh the same. Or everything has fallen so far south I look much slimmer?

Yeah...defintely a hard week.

Kelly

 

[georgina]

The sudden deaths certainly serve as a reminder that any of us can go at any time. Sobering thought; I would like to be around to help my children grow up.

 

[Feralpeg]

I know it's NATURAL to feel empathetic when someone dies your age or your parents' or children's ages... but for some reason this week has shaken me to the core.

I feel good, I feel vibrant, but I am 3 years older than Billy Mayes AND MJ!

All of a sudden my aches and pains and the fact that I fall all the time makes me realize that I'm not going to be here forever. I don't concern myself for me but my child is so young and he ONLY has me. I lost nearly my whole family in the past few years.

Anyone feeling their own mortality?

I am older than both my parents were when they died. Yes, it does get to me at times. I try to live my life to the fullest because you just never know.

 

[4nana]

No, I'm really not. I know where I'm going when I'm gone and that has always made me comfortable.
I just try to enjoy life to the fullest now and so I hope to have no regrets. I've finished my bucket list (or will come December..two more things on it that I'll complete in October and December), and that was always my goal (along with having just enough money to finish out my life). Any time I have left now, it's just gravy.

GREAT outlook DMRick!

So many heartbreaking losses recently ~ makes one stop and think how much we really do take for granted . DH and I are really enjoying our golden years, our family, sweet grands, and often count our blessings how everything seems to have fallen in place as we anxiously continue on to complete our bucket list.

However, sadly at this age, we have witnessed so many relatives and close friends get sick and pass the last few years . It indeed is reminder we never know what tomorrow will bring, we really need to enjoy each day we have with loved ones, living life to the fullest and not sweat the small stuff! I believe altho our earthly journey may be brief, our souls will journey on forever.

to all who are fighting serious health issues and have lost loved ones.

 

[Planogirl]

Billy Mayes' death rattled me a bit. He always seemed so exuberant and full of life that it just didn't make sense when I heard about it.

I love the idea of a Bucket List, now I just need a rich Jack Nicholson character to help me fullfill it.

 

[Feralpeg]

They are saying that Billy Mays may have suffered a head injury during a rough landing the night before. Apparently, a tire on the plane blew and things flew out of the overheads. He said he was hit on the head. His wife told reporters that she thinks that he had a head injury. There will be an autopsy performed on Monday.

 

[starwood]

Same here - I am 52 and DH is 53. The father of one of DS's bowling team mates just died 2 weeks ago and he was only 50.

 

[golfgal]

I have to admit when I heard MJ was 50 it freaked me out a bit. Since I don't really keep up on celebrity ages, MJ seemed like he should be about 35. I know he is older then I am but it was still a "wow" moment.

 

[John VN]

I am very much at ease with my mortality. Next month I will be 59 and that means most likely I have lived much longer than what I have left to live. I accept that.

As far as a bucket list, not for me. If I don't get to go somewhere or do something before I die, I am pretty sure that it will not bother me after I take my last breath.

My wish is that I just wake up dead one morning having been no burden on any family members.

 

[Patch'sD]

I think I will turn my thoughts to that part of the population of the United States, Centenarians, estimated at 96,548 on November 1, 2008.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

When people my age die by abusing their bodies with drugs and/or alcohol
it doesn't make me feel vulnerable or old.

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[DisneyBlonde]

I know exactly where you are coming from! I'm truly sorry to hear about your mom. My MIL died at the age of 45 from uterine cancer, my mom died at the age of 65 from pancreatic cancer, and my dad was just diagnosed with lung cancer. I am turning 46 on Wednesday and although I don't think about it everyday, I am so fearful of getting cancer. It's a terrible feeling, especially once you witness someone you love go through it. I have made a decision just recently to exercise more and I am going to try to eat healthier.

I have been too depressed and shocked to be proactive, until recently. The fog is lifting a bit and I've started to empower myself to do something besides have a pity party!

So sorry for your loss.

DH and I both had friends die recently but from different causes. Both were in their mid-30's. It really shakes you up when someone your age passes away.

That's so young!

 

[Imzadi]

I had been feeling old for quite some time, getting perimenopause, feeling no physical energy, bones creaking more, memory going, being listlist, yada. Then Natasha Richardson died and that really rattled me. She's just a couple years younger than me and I thought, "She had a whole half of a life to live!"

I know she already had, what seemed like a full, great life. I'd give anything to have a hubby who loves me the way it was obvious Liam Neeson loved her. She had a family, an established career. Was going to work on a Broadway play with her mom. She was actively supporting an AIDS charity. Still, I think she could have contributed so much more.

I had to take a good hard look at the fact that: how could I think she had a good half a life ahead of her, and I was/am feeling OLD. Don't I have a good half a life ahead of me in which I can still do something great with and contribute?

I think I will turn my thoughts to that part of the population of the United States, Centenarians, estimated at 96,548 on November 1, 2008.

Yes, I heard over a decade ago that Centenarians, people who turn 100 are the quickest growing population in America. That one day, Willard Scott will need a whole hour on The Today Show to wish everyone in America, Happy Birthday, one day.


I was actually reading a book in which the main character just turned 40 and she was complaining she was "middle aged." I went, "Whoa! I don't think of 40 as "middle aged." Women, particularly, are living to about 90 now. So 45 is "middle age." (Yes, as you get here, each year counts. ) Even so, by the time a person now 45 reaches 90, science & health will have so improved in the next 45 years, that people then will be living way beyond 90. And not as an old, creaky, bag of bones.

I now break my life up into thirds, if I'm expecting to live to 90. I consider the 40's to be part of my "mid years." That (for me,) is way different from a "middle aged," bury me in the ground, type of mentality.

Even Jane Fonda, at 71, in her recent autobiography, says she's in her third act.

Still, MJ & Farrah dying rattled me. I grew up with these two.

 

[Robinrs]

No, I'm really not. I know where I'm going when I'm gone and that has always made me comfortable.
I just try to enjoy life to the fullest now and so I hope to have no regrets. I've finished my bucket list (or will come December..two more things on it that I'll complete in October and December), and that was always my goal (along with having just enough money to finish out my life). Any time I have left now, it's just gravy.

You sound like my Mom the last days of her life. She was on the phone telling an old friend that all of her kids are grown and doing well and she had done EVERYTHING she had to do so she was ready to go...

She lived her life to the fullest, too with no regrets. AND she had the chance to say goodbye to everyone she loved. She fell asleep and went to heaven, it's the only way to go.

If not for Michael I would LOVE to go be with her. At this point in my life I don't want him to feel what I felt when I lost MY mom. It's all about him.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

Absolutely! A couple weeks ago a childhood friend of mine died suddenly in his sleep. Since then, I have had several nights where I had a very uneasy feeling as I was falling asleep. I'm only 36, he was only 34. To me, the fact that somebody that appears completely healthy can die in his sleep at such a young age scares the bejeesus out of me! We are awaiting the autopsy results to hopefully learn what happened.

since then, I have learned about SADS, which is basically SIDS for adults.

I've never heard of it before, but I Googled it and it is real. http://www.sads.org/

About a year and a half ago, the same thing happened to a childhood friend of my brothers', and she was just in hear early-mid twenties. I've recently heard that since they never found a cause of death with her, they think it was probably something like SADS.