When preparing food to bring to a holiday dinner...

[china mom]

With Thanksgiving coming up, DH and I had our annual conversation about what to take to the family dinner. They can be picky eaters and don't always take to new foods. I know that none of them can tolerate spicy foods so I never bring anything with any flavor, sorry, spice.

Since the meal is traditionally very carb heavy (except the turkey) and I can't eat carbs, I suggested bringing sausage filled mushroom caps as one of our appetizers. Please note, that we usually bring 2-4 items.

DH was concerned that his family might not eat something like that. My answer was "so what?" there are plenty of other offerings so who cares if they don't like one of the many items.

We have hd this conversation many ties before. Last year, for example, I wanted to bring the spinach salad, fully assembled (except the salad dressing) but he wanted to bring five different serving bowls incase someone didn't want this ingredient or that. I won the argument because I said that the host would nt have enough room on the table for five bowls in case one person didn't like onions or bacon or mushrooms or whatever.

So, what do you all do when deciding what foods to bring to someone else's house?

 

[mjkacmom]

I try to keep dietary restrictions in mind (2 of mine have celiac). Going to a Friendsgiving Sunday and I’m bringing stuffed dates, 2 people have celiac. However, even here k will have non gluten free choices as well (hello stuffing my old friend), but try to keep most of it gf.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I think you should bring things you can eat and that some people will try and hopefully like. There are lots of choices at these things, so not every dish has to be right for every person (the exception being serious allergies, of course).

 

[china mom]

I try to keep dietary restrictions in mind (2 of mine have celiac). Going to a Friendsgiving Sunday and I’m bringing stuffed dates, 2 people have celiac. However, even here k will have non gluten free choices as well (hello stuffing my old friend), but try to keep most of it gf.

I do to... to a point. I have one BIL who can't eat chocolate (I knooow, how do you live like that). So, does that mean that all sixteen deserts need to be something other than Chocolate? I usually bring something not chocolate but I see noting wrong with bringing a chocolate pie. He has other choices.

 

[china mom]

I think you should bring things you can eat and that some people will try and hopefully like. There are lots of choices at these things, so not every dish has to be right for every person (the exception being serious allergies, of course).

Yes. It isn't like I am telling everyone else that no one should bring mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potato's filled with sugar etc, just because I can't have it. I make up my plate with some dry turkey and a heap of green beans and not complain. Now that I think about it, I hope none of them like my mushroom caps so that I will have something to eat

 

[Moliphino]

I'm on the pickier side, myself, so anything I would bring is pretty crowd-friendly. Even so, I would never try to please everyone. That's impossible.

 

[soccerdad72]

If I knew there was something that nobody at the dinner would eat except myself, I wouldn't make it.

If, however, there is something that a couple people might not eat, I wouldn't have an issue bringing that. You can't cater to everyone.

 

[Disneylover99]

I play it safe and tend to bring things I know most guests will like.

 

[disykat]

I voted other because it's kind of all of the above. We have a lot of allergies, sensitivities, and preferences in our extended family. For the peanut allergy we totally avoid since it can be an airborne allergen and keep the meal peanut free. The avocado sensitivity we avoid avocado oil hidden in dishes but will put out things that are clearly avocado and can be avoided. For the pescatarian we have some seafood and vegetarian options and make sure she is aware of hidden meat broths etc. For the gluten free dairy person, we make main dishes that fit those parameters and make sure she is aware of which side dishes she can't eat. The gluten free dairy free person is also allergic to chocolate so we try to make sure there is one dessert item she can eat.

 

[Skippyboo]

I think likes and dislikes are different from food allergies. If Cousin Sally has a nut allergy maybe not bring some chestnut stuffing. My late brother in law couldn’t have raw onions so will we give him his bowl of salad before adding onions to the rest of the salad.

There’s always normally a lot of food at Thanksgiving. Stuff mushroom caps sounds yummy. It’s not like you want to bring something like pickled pig feet.

 

[ramee]

I think of other people when considering a meal or a dish to share. I like when they enjoy the food I spend time and money on to prepare.

Edit. I haven’t posted in a while and didn’t mean for that to sound any other way than to the point.

 

[ncc1701]

In our family we check with the host. Ask what do they need.Cuts down on too many apps not enough sides or desserts. After that it pretty much anything. Unless we know there is an allergy or something no one else would like.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Marie almost always brings 2 or 3 dishes that everybody wants her to bring. One is a Mexican dip with chips that she makes and another is a tray that some prople use that new 'in' name for, that chatcuteriere (sp?) thing. Those two are musts! And I usually bring a bottle of wine.

 

[_19disnA]

If your gathering is for a large number of people, it makes sense to help spread the work/cost around to some of the guests so the host isn't stuck doing all of the work. Host should make suggestions (or ask if this is your first time attending) on what to bring so everyone doesn't bring a side dish or dessert. Having 4 people all bring a pumpkin pie wouldn't make a lot of sense either. I would try to pick something you think the majority would like (but doesn't seem to be one of the survey choices).

 

[TipsyTraveler]

My answer is kind of a balance of all your poll options.

I have two friends who don’t like onions, one who detests celery, a FIL who can’t handle even a smidgen of spice, two vegetarian cousins, one with an egg allergy, a gluten-free SIL, and another SIL who is picky about food in the childish way of “Ew, vegetables.” Add to that, my immediate family of five is vegan. If all those people were going to be at the same dinner table, I would do my best to accommodate them all. Not necessarily with one dish that hits all the marks, but more likely I’d take a couple of things and let them know “This one is spicy and has onions, this one has gluten…” If I were hosting the meal, I would make sure there’s something for everyone. If I’m just bringing a couple sides and somehow can’t accommodate everyone with those, oh well. My primary concern would be taking something that works for my immediate family and I’m least concerned with accommodating the picky eater. You can put on your big girl pants and eat a few things you don’t love for one meal. In fact, that’s more or less what Thanksgiving dinner is for me with the extended family — eating a bunch of bland, unappetizing food that I don’t love but eat with a smile. Then I go home and make a second Thanksgiving meal of the foods we do love in the next few days. Win win.

 

[unrequited23]

We tend to request/assign items when doing the holidays. It can be as broad as whatever vegetable side you want to share or as specific as "please, oh please, make those oreo cheesecake brownies again".

If you bring several items, I don't see anything wrong with bringing a few items that you are excited to have. Last year, I served lasagne for Christmas Eve dinner with DH's fam because I was craving it and knew there would be ham (again) on Christmas day at my mom's.

 

[jo-jo]

If you bring 2- 4 items. , I’d bring a few I could eat and something you are known for.

My DH would love those mushrooms. I’d eat a roll instead.

I only ask my DIL to bring pancit.

I stopped asking the rest of my family to bring stuff cause they would forget it at home or if I asked for a salad, they would bring the items, then ask me for a knife,a bowl, a cutting bowl……..

 

[KPeterso]

I get guidance from the host/hostess on what is needed or what I should bring. For Thanksgiving, our group is typically about 20 or so people. And everyone brings something at least, so there is always enough food for at least double the number of people. And there are always things to love and things I skip every time. We typically bring stuffing and a red cabbage dish. Our hostess also makes a stuffing, but hers has sausage and I honestly do not care for it, so I eat ours and she eats hers! And it works for all involved. Of course, there was the year my aunt told the hostess (her DIL) that she could skip mashed potatoes because no one likes or eats them. I heard that and told my mom to plan to bring mashed potatoes as I would not go with no potatoes on the table. Us and another older relative brought them and that dish was empty. Guess I was not the only one who wanted them.

 

[mjkacmom]

If you bring 2- 4 items. , I’d bring a few I could eat and something you are known for.

My DH would love those mushrooms. I’d eat a roll instead.

I only ask my DIL to bring pancit.

I stopped asking the rest of my family to bring stuff cause they would forget it at home or if I asked for a salad, they would bring the items, then ask me for a knife,a bowl, a cutting bowl……..

Lol my cousin’s wife is from the Philippines, their boys were picky and she always brought pancit to family gatherings, my kids LOVE it!

 

[mumto3girls]

I’d shoot for a happy medium. Probably wouldn’t take something only I would enjoy, but also would be okay taking something that some people couldn’t/wouldn’t eat. My dad can’t eat raw onions, oldest DD is vegetarian, DH and younger daughters have varying levels of pickiness, most of one sister’s family is gluten free, one nephew is picky beyond what my family is, another sister doesn’t eat poultry. And so on. If every dish had to please everybody, we wouldn’t eat.