When going to a party/cookout, do you.....

[sherry7]

Just curious. When going to a party/cookout, do you bring food or drink, even if it wasn't specifically asked for?

Friends of ours recently had a large pool put in, and they've had 3 pool parties so far this summer. The hostess never asks us to bring anything, but I always do. For example, this weekend I brought a 30 pack of cupcakes, a 12 pack of beer, and a 12 pack of bottled water. Even though she doesn't ask for contributions, she always thanks those that bring something.

We were some of the first to arrive, and out of the 15 or so families that attended, I noticed that only 4 (including us) brought anything at all with them. Of course, they were all eating and drinking beer.

Maybe it's just my upbringing, but I'd feel really odd if I showed up to a party/cookout empty handed. How about you?

 

[lovesmurfs]

Just curious. When going to a party/cookout, do you bring food or drink, even if it wasn't specifically asked for?

Friends of ours recently had a large pool put in, and they've had 3 pool parties so far this summer. The hostess never asks us to bring anything, but I always do. For example, this weekend I brought a 30 pack of cupcakes, a 12 pack of beer, and a 12 pack of bottled water. Even though she doesn't ask for contributions, she always thanks those that bring something.

We were some of the first to arrive, and out of the 15 or so families that attended, I noticed that only 4 (including us) brought anything at all with them. Of course, they were all eating and drinking beer.

Maybe it's just my upbringing, but I'd feel really odd if I showed up to a party/cookout empty handed. How about you?

Agree. I'll always bring something, and make it so that if they don't want to serve it, they can save it for another day. If I know something's being catered, I'll bring a flower arrangement or something I know they'll like (ex. one couple collected dragonflies, and I had found a classy ornament that I brought for a Christmas party).

 

[CJBaby]

I would never come empty handed to a pool party, get together, BBQ, dinner, or party at someone's house. I'd at least bring a bottle of wine!

 

[Saphire]

Just curious. When going to a party/cookout, do you bring food or drink, even if it wasn't specifically asked for?

I do. I don't like to arrive empty handed. Like lovesmurfs, I will most likely bring something that can be used at another time.

 

[Cinderella94]

We've gone to a cookout/party every day this weekend and have one more today. We always bring a cucumber or potato salad, or something like that, or a dessert.

 

[disneyismyname]

I always bring something. I was brought up that way. Even a bag of chips and dip if I didn't have time make anything.

 

[disykat]

I always ask. If they said no, I'd probably still bring some drinks unless it was a formal affair. Here, it's pretty much a given that casual parties are a pitch in affair.

Today I'm taking potato salad, a dessert, and some soda for the cooler.

 

[marcemc]

We always bring something & also call the host the day after to say thanks!

 

[AustinTink]

Never arrive to a gathering empty handed. It's just good breeding. A side dish or dessert is usually my go-to.

And, if it's a catered affair at someone's home we bring wine and a hostess gift.

 

[Kellydelly]

Did you offer to bring something when you got the invite? I had a bbq yesterday and 3 of the 6 ladies (I consider the ladies the ones who will be covering food options usually, guys will always bring beer) asked what they could bring, the other three, one brought jello and a fruit dip tray, one brought tortilla chips and salsa and the 3rd was a no-show. I always bring something, I have a large family (6) and know we will eat a good amount of food. I usually bring something I know I will like in case the party has gross food .

 

[tink_n_pooh]

It really depends on the event. If it's a large party then yes I bring something. If we are just getting together with friends then normally we do not. We often get together with a group of friends/family (10 or so of us) and none of bring anything but then again we get together so often that it's just what is expected.

 

[Poohforyou]

I bring something but not always food. Sometimes I bring a new pool toy or something else for the kids to play with. Today I'm bringing a salad, cookies, glow sticks and bubbles. Having something for my DD to share with other kids she may not know is a great ice breaker for her.

 

[Ceila]

I always ask, and if given something specific we'll bring that. If the host/hostess is vague or says not to bring anything, we'll usually still bring a bottle of wine or a case of beer. I usually try to keep a couple of boxes of brownie mix on hand for last-minute invitations, lol.

I've never noticed whether other guests bring anything or not, even when I'm hosting. I always thank those that do bring something, of course, but I don't keep tally of who did and who didn't.

 

[mjkacmom]

Always. I usually ask if they want me to bring something specific, or offer to bring something specific (usually a salad, because dd has food allergies, and I like to know there is something she can eat).

 

[pigletgirl]

Yes, I always do. Feels like im a moocher if I dont bring anything.

 

[pandora174]

I always bring something if it's family or friends. But I've also learned to ask if I don't know the host/hostess that well & follow their requests

Here is what I recently learned in one ex.. DS 8's soccer team ended their season before school let out. One of the mom's invited the whole team for a pool party/end of season party at her home.

I really didn't know this mom other than "hi etc". I offered to bring something & she politely told me that they were providing all the snacks & drinks including planned activities & did not want anything "outside" brought, just our company.

I felt weird not bringing anything but since we were e-mailing & I wasn't the only one who asked & was politely told not to, I decided just to bring DS to the party.

Day of pool party, a few of the other mom's brought snacks & juices & one a pool toy (they also got the same message I did) & these were politely returned/refused on arrival by the host mom. Turns out the mom is very big on organic, no preservatives , no violent play etc. So the Capri Suns, cupcakes & water cannon toys were promptly rejected. I felt bad for these moms because they were embarrassed.

But from now on if I don't know you, I ask & listen

 

[mommytotwo]

Yes we always bring something, especially if it is a get together at a family or friends house.

 

[Katieinwonderland]

Always! I was always taught it was incredibly rude to show up empty handed

Even if the host says they have too much food or drink and not to bring anything, I'll at least bring flowers or something.

 

[Ceila]

Day of pool party, a few of the other mom's brought snacks & juices & one a pool toy (they also got the same message I did) & these were politely returned/refused on arrival by the host mom. Turns out the mom is very big on organic, no preservatives , no violent play etc. So the Capri Suns, cupcakes & water cannon toys were promptly rejected. I felt bad for these moms because they were embarrassed.

As a hostess, I never would refuse someone's gift or contribution. I feel that I would be rude in doing so. Even if she didn't want her child to have the "junk," the other children could have had it. I could see asking not to use the water cannons if she felt strongly about the non-violence thing, though, especially since it was at her home.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

We always bring something. I once found a bunch of beach towels for a couple of bucks one year so the next year I would give those away to the hostess. That ended up being the best thing I could ever give them. A friend will give them a drying rack if she knows they don't have one.