When does it start to set in?

[MickeysMommy]

The grief I mean. Dad has been gone 2 weeks and I still don't feel like it's real. I mean I know he's not here but it's not set in yet. I'm an only child and the typical Daddy's girl so shouldn't I be a basketcase? I have my moments. I cry. I talk to him every day but I don't feel him around me. I want to feel him around me and I want him to be with me every single second...but I don't know. Is this all part of the whole grieving process? Will it hit me on day and I'll be in bed for the next two weeks or will I just go on like I am?

 

[kdibattista]

 

[kaylajr]

My FIL will be gone 3 years this Nov and some days it still doesn't
seem "real"

 

[Tigger_Magic]

It took several months for my dad's passing to "sink in." It's been two years now and I still have some difficult days. Grief is a process one has to work through at your own pace. I hope your memories of good times together will help you through the rough days ahead.

 

[luvwinnie]

The one thing I learned about grief is it is so unpredictable. It's a rollercoaster. Just when you think you are doing "ok" something will trigger that all-consuming pain again. Just remember there is no such thing as "normal"...we all grieve differently. My mom passed July 2004 and I STILL have times where I cannot believe she is gone. Hugs to you. PM anytime if you want to talk.
ALso, I recommend a book called Transcending Grief.

 

[ReggieB]

It took several months for my dad's passing to "sink in." It's been two years now and I still have some difficult days. Grief is a process one has to work through at your own pace. I hope your memories of good times together will help you through the rough days ahead.

I totally agree. My Dad died in 1993, it's not that it gets easier, but that you get used to the grief. Does that make any sense? I can still get upset sometimes when I think of him.

 

[NMAmy]

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

I think it's different for everyone. My dad was in the hospital/nursing home for several months before he died. I did a lot of my grieving sitting right beside him, holding his hand, which made it easier for me in a lot of ways when he actually died. Although he had difficulty talking, he was able to communicate right up till the last week or so. Knowing how much he hated being incapacitated and how much pain he was in made it easier to let him go.

I really am sorry, Stacey.

 

[4greatboys]

I dont know. My mom has been gone a little over 6 years and it still seems very surreal to me.

 

[Maleficent13]

I know it isn't what you asked for, but here's a anyway. My grandmother died 29 years ago and my mom still cries on occasion. I agree with what others have said; it's a process and it's individual to you. Nothing you feel is wrong.

 

[Freyja]

I´m so sorry for your loss. I think it is very individual how long it takes. I think usually it takes a couple of months. I lost my mother 4 years ago and throughout the whole first year, I still had days when I had to remind myself that she was gone. To this day, some days are still very "raw" and it seems to hit me all over again, whilee other days it feels as if she´s been gone for ages.

 

[CathrynRose]

The grief I mean. Dad has been gone 2 weeks and I still don't feel like it's real. I mean I know he's not here but it's not set in yet. I'm an only child and the typical Daddy's girl so shouldn't I be a basketcase? I have my moments. I cry. I talk to him every day but I don't feel him around me. I want to feel him around me and I want him to be with me every single second...but I don't know. Is this all part of the whole grieving process? Will it hit me on day and I'll be in bed for the next two weeks or will I just go on like I am?

I dont know - My mom died a month ago and mine comes in waves. I think everyone is so different - I dont know if you'll get a concrete answer... know what I mean?

Im so sorry for your loss. Im an only child too - and I wish I had amazing words to comfort you, but Im feeling like you - am I gonna *snap* one day and drive off a cliff? It does come in waves though. I was sitting at work last week and just started BAWLING for no reason. Your mind works it out on its own.

Feel better.

 

[CathrynRose]

And I wanna post this again - this site - reading all these wonderful amazing stories and experiences made me so HAPPY for where she is at. And realize it's *us* here, the ones left behind, who suffer. Those who pass-on are finally "home" again.

http://www.near-death.com/index.html

 

[Rajah]

It took me about 2 months for it to even start to seem real.

Took the first major holiday following for it to hit once.

Took the second go-round of that same holiday for it to really sink in -- he's gone.

Over 2 years later, and I'm still recovering.

It's a long road.

 

[Mercy]

My dad passed in 1999 and my mom in 2004, both were very sick before they died, so their passing was not unexpected. I never had a major breakdown with either, mainly because I knew they were in a much better place, free of pain.

Do I still miss them, yes. I do have meloncholly (sp) moments, when certain things remind me of either of them. But those moments are also sort of sweet and special. Everyone grieves differently. Just let your emotions go their way naturally.

 

[MickeysMommy]

Thank you all for your words. That site I have to bookmark, Cathryn, so I can look over it slowly. Mom and I were with him when he passed and it was very peaceful so we are grateful for that and we know he is in a better place. He's free of pain, back to his original height, etc. And, it does stink for us because we want him here.

Thank you again.

 

[luv2nascar]

just letting you know we're still thinking about you here. Good days/bad days we are always here. Take care of yourself.

 

[MickeysMommy]

just letting you know we're still thinking about you here. Good days/bad days we are always here. Take care of yourself.

Thank you so much - that means a lot.

 

[zalansky]

My mom died in 1998. I was very close to her and was only 29 years old at the time....it does get better and like someone else said you get used to the grief. I find that holidays have gotten much easier but I still will have moments where I desperately want to talk to her and hug her. She never got to see me get married or have kids and that has been the hardest part, by far. But I do feel her with me at times and I am not a religious person at all....but I do feel her presence. Please know, time does help heal. It's hard to believe it now, but it will happen.

 

[Dan Murphy]

s Stacey.